A note from the author: This is my first fanfiction, so go easy on me. Shoutout to necrolord50210 because he promoted me for FREE! (plus, let's face it. He's fucking awesome. Of ponies and Dinosaur things is my inspiration for writing any sort of fanfiction) So, without further retardation, I present the first installment of Opposites Attract.
Blurs of rainbows shot across the sky, destroying every cloud in sight with relative ease. Birds whistled and cawed in approval at the command of a pink and yellow pony as Rainbow Dash fluttered to the ground.
"I like the new cheering system, Shy. It's much better than what your cheering." The rainbow maned pony told her friend, a little more rudely than she had intended.
"Oh... thank you..." Fluttershy said, tearing up just slightly and turning away.
Noticing that she had hurt her friend, but being stubborn and not wanting to admit that she had done wrong, Dash tried to change the subject, "What kind of bird is that?" she asked, gesturing to a brightly colored raptor on one of the tree's branches.
"That's a pheonix..." Fluttershy said as the two leaned closer to the bird and eachother, "It's magic, you know. It's tears can heal you up real fast!"
"Really? That's awesome!" Dash exclaimed, staring in wonder at the bird as the pink and yellow pony began blushing, having noticed that their faces were mere centimeters apart, "Well thanks for everything, Shy. I gotta go meet up with Rarity. She's making me model for a dress. Eugh!" she finished with a chuckle and a wave to Fluttershy, then she darted off in the direction of Rarity's house. Fluttershy was about to go back to her house as well when she noticed something on the ground.
Rainbow's flight goggles! she thought as she picked them up, I'd better take these back to her...
As Fluttershy neared Rarity's house she could hear Dash's cries of protest as her friend was trying to manage her unruly hair. Rarity said that she'd be right back and when fluttershy appeared in the window she saw Rainbow brushing her hair, looking into the mirror with an odd, otherworldly expression as if she didn't know who was staring back at her. Fluttershy's jaw dropped a bit at the beauty that she never thought she'd see come from her friend. She had always thought that the rainbow maned pony was gorgeous, but in a way that still allowed her to seem strong and powerful. Now, though, was completely different... her friend had an innocent look about her. One that broke Fluttershy's boundaries... she had to tell her friend how she felt...
hmm. Try combining the chapters, really short chapters are just awkward to read. You also have a problem with run-ons. Also, "..." really should only go in dialogue, and you used them quite a bit. As for the actual writing: well, it's certainly not the worst I've seen, and for being you're first, it's not bad at all.
The plot itself seems a little generic. Next time, spend a little while trying to come up with a whacky, crazy plot. I'm not saying have giant space aliens kidnap them and force them to mate *did I really just say that? *, but something a little more than this works wonders. The last chapter was a little better in that department, which Rainbow Dash's story. But overall, it needs work.
I hope you take what I've said as constructive criticism. As all writers do, you have a lot of potential, and I'd like to see where you go from here. In fact, if you ever need any help writing some of your work, I'd be more than happy to offer my support. Stay upbeat! ^_^
Overall, this story was okay for it was. I'll give you a thumbs up. :)
Cheers!
Though some might disagree, I enjoy short chapters Glad there's more to read too! Good start so far