Tools

by Samey90

GBH

"Again? Why every time this damn DJ has a gig in this town, it ends up with calling us?" Surveillance asked his fellow Royal Guard, Hot Pursuit.

"Sex, drugs and dubstep, apparently," Hot Pursuit winked, "But this time it’s not the usual stuff."

"So…" Surveillance did a quick check of his memory. "No riots, no destroying public property, no drugs, no arson, blasphemy or performing naked?"

"Is that even a crime?"

Surveillance said nothing, as they just arrived the crime scene: the club in Ponyville, where DJ Pon3’s show took place, attracting not only music fans from the whole region, but also several dozens of Royal Guards.

"Quite a big party, it seems," said Surveillance as they approached two other guards, twins Short Shock and Sharp Shock.

"What’s going on here?"

"Attempted murder, sir," said slightly taller pony, Short Shock. "Somepony lurked in the toilets with a lead pipe, and during the break in the show…"

"Boys are interrogating everypony," his brother interrupted him, "We sent a pipe to the lab, and we also arrested two ponies."

"You already have the murderer? Who was it? Why did you called us then?" asked Surveillance.

"Her name is Lyra Heartstrings, sir. We don’t know if she’s a murderer, she just ran out of the bathroom, covered in blood. And technically she’s not a murderer, as the victim is in a coma…"

"Oh, shut up!" yelled Surveillance. Younger guards were constantly giving him headache.

"Ok, so you arrested somepony, who’ll probably say that she found a victim and tried to save him… or her. Who else did you arrest?" asked Hot Pursuit.

"It’s her, ma’am. Lyra Heartstrings is… well, her special somepony," Short Shock’s face blushed. Both Surveillance and Hot Pursuit sighed.

"Well, that might be a motive," stated Surveillance rather absent-mindedly. "But whom else did you arrest?"

"Vinyl Scratch, alias DJ Pon3," Sharp Shock stood at attention.

"And you arrested her because you had a reason to do so, or because apparently, some officers follow the “if in doubt, arrest the DJ” rule?" asked Hot Pursuit, looking at Surveillance.

"She sneaked out of the club when we told everypony to stay inside. She said that she only went to smoke, so we arrested her for drug possession," Sharp Shock was clearly proud of his brilliant mind.

"Has she even had drugs?" asked Surveillance. "It wouldn’t be good for the image of Royal Guards, if two rookies had arrested a famous pony for smoking a perfectly legal cigarette…"

"Yes, sir, it was weed. I checked myself!" said Short Shock.

That explains, why you both stand here smiling like morons, brimming with pride as if you caught Princess Luna on jaywalking, thought Surveillance.

"Ok, guys, let’s take Ms Heartstrings and Ms Scratch to the station for interrogation. Tell someone who’s in charge here that when they finish talking with the rest of the audience, I want a complete report on my desk. Hoofprints, testimonies, everything," ordered Hot Pursuit.

"Yes ma’am!" both brothers shouted in unison, "By the way," Sharp Shock added. "We called a psychologist and consultant detective. They’ll await us on a station."

Surveillance mentally facehoofed. Those idiots not only wasted time arresting the DJ, but they also called two ponies whom he didn’t like messing in his investigation: a psychologist (he didn’t know her, but he generally despised psychology), and at the top of that, consultant detective, Twilight Sparkle. Of course she helped the guards with few cases, but he preferred to work alone, without any civilians around.

***

The police station was dark and almost devoid of life. Surveillance entered the building and led the small group of guards escorting Lyra and Vinyl to the interrogation rooms. In the narrow corridor, enlightened only by faint glare of blinking bulb they met two ponies.

"Good evening, Ms Sparkle," mumbled Surveillance, when he saw the familiar silhouette of a lavender unicorn. "... and Ms…"

"My name’s Krissy, officer," the young, gray pegasus with a question mark for a cutie mark introduced herself. "I’m a forensic psychologist from Cloudsdale."

"I’m afraid you were woken up unnecessarily. We already have a suspect," said Surveillance politely. In other words: go home and let me do my job, he thought.

‘Even two suspects, I see,’ Twilight looked at half-conscious Lyra who was staring blankly in a distant space and had to be carried by two guards, and Vinyl, who seemed too tipsy to acknowledge where she is.

"It’s a long story," said Hot Pursuit.

***

Surveillance was muttering curses under his breath. The interrogation of Lyra Heartstrings gave them absolutely nothing. Krissy said that probably trauma she suffered when she either tried to kill her marefriend (Bon-Bon, if he remembered her name) or found her mauled with a lead pipe caused the catatonia. He asked the psychologist if it’d meant that she was innocent.

"Not necessarily. Maybe that was a crime of passion and her mind reacted like that when she realized what she had done. You know, sir, not everyone is a cold-blooded murderer, who lures ponies to their cellar, tortures them to death and goes back to their chores," the gray pegasus explained. Then Surveillance ordered Short Shock to transport Lyra and Krissy to the hospital and went to another interrogation room, where Vinyl Scratch awaited him.

He found the white unicorn with her sunglasses on nodding off on her chair. As he entered the room, she stared at him as if she saw him for the first time in her life, yawned and took her glasses off, revealing half-closed cerise eyes. This won’t be easy, he thought, especially with Twilight Sparkle watching us from behind the one-way mirror.

"Good evening, ma’am. Do you know why you’re here?" he asked.

"Yeah, officer," her voice was a bit slurred, even though she tried to speak slowly to keep it clear. "Drugs again, huh? I tried to explain those two morons that it’s my medication, but they didn’t listen…"

At least one thing we agree on: the Shock brothers are morons. Strange, considering the fact that their father Shell Shock was the most brilliant detective I’ve ever met.

"Medication, yeah…"

"I swear to Celestia, I need it for my eyes! You know, officer, they sometimes turn red and I need to smoke, or I can get blind. I have a prescription. Doc said that I have a rare ge-ne-tic con-di-tion…"

"Rare genetic condition?" he said in a condescending tone. "Ms Scratch, how high are you?"

"No officer. It’s “Hi, how are you?”"

Celestiabuckindammit.

"Well, Ms Scratch, let’s say I believe you with this one. Just remember to buy your meds in pharmacy, not from some random pony on the street."

"Yes, sir!" she exclaimed in a way much resembling Shock brothers. "Ya know, the one I took before arrivin’ here wasn’t very good… I’m not feelin’ well, ya know."

If she throws up, I’m gonna unleash that whole “police brutality” stuff.

"Ok, if we’re done with this one, let’s continue with another thing… What happened at the show?"

"Nuffin’ special at first, ya know," she clearly forgot to call him “officer”. "The whole DJ’ing stuff, a short break, I had a drink or two, went to the bathroom, then the second part of the concert started and then suddenly Lyra runs from the toilet screaming, blood and stuff, like in movies, ya know, guards, sirens, panic…" her stream of consciousness was interrupted by Hot Pursuit and Twilight, who entered the room.

"We have first reports from the lab," said the guard. "There no hoofprints on the pipe, but there’s a trace of magic on it. Whoever did it, was an unicorn."

"Was that Heartstrings?" asked Surveillance. Vinyl Scratch started mumbling something incoherently, but no one paid attention.

"We are not sure. We can’t take a sample of magic from her at the moment."

"We also got the reports about Lyra and Bon-Bon," added Twilight. "Neighbours say that they were calm, good couple, no reports about domestic violence…"

"Excuse me," Vinyl’s babbling suddenly became more coherent, "May I go home? Last time I came back home so late I ended up in a hospital, because a cello fell on my head. Like, four times or so…"

"Don’t worry, we’ll finish soon," said Surveillance. "You’ve said that you were in the bathroom before everything happened. Did you notice something strange? Or maybe somepony?"

"No, officer. In fact I remember drinking cider, going to the bathroom and then… the second part of the show?"

Surveillance looked at her narrowly. The door opened and another guard, with biohazard symbol as her cutie mark, entered the room.

"Ms Scratch, may we take some blood and magic samples?"

"We don’t need the magic sample," said Hot Pursuit while Vinyl was muttering some incoherent variation of “I’m, like, totally scared of needles”. "The pattern of her magic is already recorded in our database. All we need to do is to compare it with the traces on a pipe."

"Already in database? What did she do?" asked Surveillance.

"She mugged a filly in Canterlot when she was fifteen."

"Mistakes of the youth… besides, what was filly doing at 2 AM in that district of Canterlot with a bag full of bits? If I haven’t mugged her, she’d get mugged by someone else… Hey, watch out with that syrin- ouch! Or mugged and killed. Or mugged, foalnapped and sold to the circus…" Vinyl’s speech became more slurred again. It seemed her consciousness was lulling again.

"Ms Scratch, your line of defence is flawed," deadpanned Surveillance.

"That’s what the judge said," she mumbled just before her head hit the table and she started to snore loudly.

"It seems that interrogation’s over," said Hot Pursuit. "As for me, I’d like to follow our poor DJ. Test Strip," she addressed the biohazard pony who just hid a test tube with Vinyl’s blood in the pocket of her lab coat. "Tell the lab crew to compare the samples and check this blood for alcohol, drugs and other substances immediately. Hope that we’ll be able to check Ms Heartstrings’ magic pattern too…"

"Krissy took care of her," said Twilight when Test Strip left, muttering something unpleasant about working at night. "But I don’t know whether she’ll be able to cast any spells soon."

Surveillance gave her the most serious of his serious stares.

"Better for her if she does."

Author's Note:

For those who don't know: GBH stands for "Grievous Bodily Harm".

Comments

[xDan]

An awkwardly paced story about "mysterious" OCs that strives to be grim and dark (but falls flat)?

And it's named "Tools"?

files.gamebanana.com/img/ico/sprays/uratool.png

[Godfather17]

Cool

[BronyWriter]

"My name’s Krissy, officer," the young, gray pegasus with a question mark for a cutie mark introduced herself.

I saw that.

You know, sir, not everyone is a cold-blooded murderer, who lures ponies to their cellar, tortures them to death and goes back to their chores," the gray pegasus explained.

I saw that too.