Lunar Cycle

by Purple Thunder

Prologue: A Time to Remember

Present Day

'Luna, are you sure you want to remember this?' Celestia's favourite student asked.

'Like all the other times that you've asked, yes. I need to remember this-'

'Lu-Lu, do remember that we have access to ALL your memories...' Celestia regally walked through the door into Luna's bedroom.

'Yes, Celly, but trust me, there weren't ANY other ponies on the moon. Not that I noticed anypony else there...'

'I hate to tell you this, but you may be woken up in a few days, it depends how long it takes to find all your memories of the moon. Twilight will explain more. I'm sorry, but there's an mob of angry ponies out there trying to dob on each other. Stupid aristocrats.'

'Goodbye, Celly.' Luna replied with a sad smile as she hugged her sister.

'Goodbye, Lu-Lu.' Celestia softly and sadly replied as she walked out the door.

'You were saying, Luna?' Twilight prompted.

'Yes, I was saying something. What was it?'

Twilight's hoof met her face, saying a quick hello. 'Oh well, let's just get on with this then.'

Luna was encased in a violet aura that she recognised as Twilight's magic, before she entered the dark void of unconsciousness.

1000 Years Before

I’m out, looking at the moon slowly rise through the sky. Aargh, everypony is ignoring me! Why? I provide a beautiful night. I do my job. No-one realises how beautiful it is because THEY’RE ALL SLEEPING. Why am I the only night pony?

I can help you there, Luna.

What? Who’s that?

I’m you, Luna.

What?

I am you.

Surely this is a joke! CELESTIA!!!??!?!?

No, I am you, Luna.

Don't try to trick me Celly! I know your mind tricks!

ARRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?

Umm, Celly?

*mental facehoof* Fine. I'm going to have to break it to you then. I am your hatred for the ponies who shun your beautiful night. I am your jealousy for Celestia, who gives the day the ponies relish. I am NIGHTMARE MOOOOOOOON!

But... But.... But....... I'm not jealous or angry!! Oh and, where did you get that name? Its so cheesy! Celestia, are you still tricking me?

Oh yes you are. You are jealous of your big sister running Equestria. You want to run Equestria. We want to run Equestria. I want to run Equestria. The ponies shun your night. Our night. *Manical Laugh* Now do you believe me?

Yeah-

Yes, Luna. Here’s an offer-

-No.

‘Luna! Make way for the sun!’ Celestia had flown over to me.

Don’t do it. Let the ponies see your night! FOREEEEEVERRRR!

I can feel her evilness starting to seep through my body, and it starts controlling my mouth.

‘Celly, no-pony likes my night. I need them to see me beautiful night, and acknowledge me fully,’

Just let me take over, I can get Equestria for ourself. And the ponies will see your night!

No! I will neve-

Never say never, Lu-Lu.

Don't. Use. That. Name.

‘Luna, take your moon down RIGHT NOW. Three, Two, On-’

‘Not until everypony sees the night,’ I can feel Nightmare Moon taking over the rest of me, like a plague through my body.

‘Luna, you leave me no choice.’

*RAWRWARWRWRWR TRANSFORMATION OF DRAMATICNESS INTO NIGHTMARE MOON*

‘I AM NIGHTMARE MOON, MISTRESS OF THE NIGHT-’

Ha ha ha. I win. I'm FREEEE! Suck it, Luna.

Oh no. Oh no. I’m stuck in the background. Oh no oh no oh no. But..... I have one more trick up my sleeve... Heh.

‘-AND EQUESTRIA SHALL FOREVER SEE THE BEAUTY OF THE NIGHT!’

The final barrier in my mind shattered underneath Nightmare Moon's magical strength. So much for a trick up my sleeve. I could have fought her, but Celestia was trying to attack me as well with the Elements of Harmony. I was sucked into the realm of the moon, with Nightmare Moon, hearing her cries of despair. I laughed at her misery of not taking over Equestria.

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AN: Hey everypony, updated prologue to make it funnier and a bit longer, hope you like!

Comments

[Purple Thunder]

Yes, it's short, but all the chapters are going to be very short. I'm sorry everypony.

Also, it's my first fic! Hope you like

EDIT: Correct any mistakes!

EDIT 2: I know this chapter isn't very funny. But the others will be funny! (hopefully.)

[Purple Thunder]

EDITED! I hope it's better now

[Steben]

It was a good effort. The biggest thing you can do for your story is to add length. The expression "Don't tell the story, describe it." comes into mind there. (Or "Show, don't tell the story") Because the paragraph lengths are short, the pace of the story tends to be very fast. It's really hard to grab the readers emotions when the pace is too fast.

Adding length is tough, it's probably one of the things I struggled with most. But you can do it if you stop and brainstorm a bit. Taking a five minute break can also help if you are completely stuck. Sometimes there's other angles to approach the story.

On a second suggestion, don't use adverbs in your story. A thesaurus is a writers best friend, or of course you can always pick up creative verbs from other fics.

The last suggestion is to not write about how your characters feel. Be your characters. Imagine yourself in their hooves. What do they feel? Why do they feel that way? It can be a useful trick to really getting into the minds of your characters.

[CelestialScribe]

Well, well, well, look who's in the latest updates! I see you're taking a break from spreading the good word of TDB, haha.
I think it's time for some procrastination!