• Published 5th Aug 2013
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The Titan's Orb - Old Man Dusters



Callum lives a sad, violent life in the human world... But that is soon to change as he meet some unexpected visitors that will change his life.

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Chapter Twelve - Ponies on a Plane!


“And then we were showered in chocolate milk and everypony else was angry at Discord but I loved it! Then Princess Celestia said we needed to stop him, which I didn’t really want to do because I wanted more chocolate milk, but as the Princess said so I had to agree. So then we went through this huge maze and Discord appeared and stole everyone’s wings and horns, which was mean, but he was so funny! He’s a comical genius I tell you! So then we entered the maze and got separated, then I found a load of laughing balloons and Discord came along, and he said some mean things to me which made turn into a big moody meany pants, like Twilight!” Pinkie droned on, giggling as she gave her little jeer at Twilight.

It had been two long hours, Pinkie had told me her life story from birth to the return of Discord, and no doubt she would continue to present day. The others were bored out of their wits, Applejack and Rainbow Dash had even drifted off to sleep.

“I wish I hadn’t come up with this stupid idea…” Rarity sighed.

“So after walking around with the others and getting mad at Fluttershy for laughing at me non-stop, I got super moody and went home to throw cupcakes at a wall. Then an hour or two later, Twilight came along and made me happy again! Then we went to get Rainbow Dash, who was really difficult to catch because she was flying, we tried to catch her with a rope but I accidentally tied the other end to my leg and Rarity’s leg and we were pulled out of the balloon!” Pinkie continued.

A good half hour later Pinkie finally came to the part I was interested in.

“So, just a week after reforming Mr D, Princess Celestia sends us a letter saying there’s some great big emergency and that we need to come to Canterlot for a super important mission briefing; then she told us about your world and that we exist there as a cartoon, which was so cool! I couldn’t believe I was famous! She told us she had been to this place before when a different event happened, so she went there to deal with it, she said that she stayed there for a while and used her magic to find humans who were 'worthy' or something like that. Apparently you were one of them, so when the orb thingy came here, you got picked for the job!” She explained.

As I listened to her explanation I was able to make more sense of why the six had come to me, it was pure luck of the draw. I could finally put that mystery to bed. Although I was now curious about how Celestia found me, and found how I was 'worthy' for that matter. But there was no point thinking about questions that couldn’t be answered.

“How are you still listening to this…?” Rainbow Dash said sleepily as she woke up.

“It’s interesting.” I replied with a big cheesy grin.

“You’re weird dude…” Dash yawned.

“So, after a few hours of being taught about this place, she took Twilight into her chambers and gave her a personal pep talk, then she used a big shiny spell and bam! We came here; then we watched you for two weeks until we were sure you were the right guy!” Pinkie continued once more.

“What exactly did you see me do while you were watching me?” I asked.

“Nothing much, just you playing on your laptop thingy; oh and we saw you boxing on both of the Wednesdays. Now that was cool to watch! Blam! Slam! Kablamo! Ding ding!” Pinkie squeaked.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise at Pinkie’s enthusiasm towards my boxing, but then again she was enthusiastic about everything and anything.

“Why’d you ask that anyway?” Rainbow Dash questioned.

“No reason, just wondering.” I answered.

“Ooh, has someone been a naughty boy and doesn’t want us seeing what he’s been up to?” Dashie teased, putting emphasis on the 'naughty'.

"I don't really know what you mean by that, but the answer is 'no'" I said with a frown.

"Oh come on, you know what I mean..." Dash pressed on.

“Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m guilty..." I paused.

Rainbow Dash tilted her head on one side and raised her eyebrows.

"I ripped a tag off a mattress.” I finished.

My random response left Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie in fits of laughter I also heard a tiny giggle from Fluttershy who was behind me.

“A mattress! The heck’s with that?” Rainbow Dash spluttered.

I shrugged and asked Pinkie to proceed with her story.

“Well, then your doggy found us and started barking at us and Twilight zapped her! Which was mean, the poor thing ran away yelping. Anyway, that night we were talking about it, and then we met you! That’s it, the end! Sixteen years of my life been and gone!” She concluded.

I was suddenly slapped in the face with the element of surprise and confusion; the was only sixteen? That couldn’t be right, surely, I must have heard wrong.

“Um, how many years did you say?” I asked.

“Sixteeny weeny! I’m seventeen in August!” She chirped.

I sat there and processed this information for a moment, Pinkie was only sixteen. That was when a new question arose to my mind, how old were these ponies? If they were all in their teens like Pinkie, the Equestria Girls movie would make a lot more sense as they were all at high school, but I was still very surprised. Pinkie and I were the same age! Although my birthday was in January and her's was much further ahead. A month from now would be Pinkie's birthday; if we weren't being chased by some angry malitia in Brazil at the time, I'd bake her a cake to celebrate.



"Dude, you alright?" Rainbow Dash asked.

I suddenly realised that I'd been staring at Pinkie for a good ten seconds and blinked a few times before looking at Dash.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just didn't expect Pinkie to be so young." I replied.

"Well how old did you think she was? Like, twenty?" She quizzed.

"Well, yeah actually..." I mumbled in response.

"What made you think that?" Rarity asked, joining in on the new conversation.

"I dont really know, I guess it's because you're all so independent and that you all live in your own houses. Applejack and her brother run a farm that supplies the whole of Ponyville, and Rarity, you even run your own business with the Carousel Boutique; I don't know about Equestria very much, but in this world, running your own business is quite grown up. So I expected you all to be inbetween your twenties and thirties." I told them.

"Ah, I understand now..." Rarity hummed.

"When do you humans get jobs and stuff then?" Dash asked.

"It depends on the job." I replied, "From the age of thirteen you can deliver newspapers. When you're sixteen you can work in retail and a few other jobs but only at minimum wage. Other jobs with full pay become available at the age of eighteen, but they require qualifications. Most people stay in education until that age though, before starting off with simple jobs." I told them.

Dash and Rarity hummed in understanding. There was also a little yawn from behind me and I looked around to see Fluttershy shuffling over to me, wiggling side to side and dragging herself along to my side, I had to restrain myself from clutching my chest and giving a 'hnng...'

"It's a lot like that in Equestria, but our education system works differently." Rarity said, bringing me back on topic.

"Oh?" I replied, gesturing for her to continue.

"Well, foals learn things very quickly, usually learning to talk inbetween ten months and one year of age. They start school from around three to five years old, and finish at around the age of fourteen to sixteen. This means a lot of ponies get the opportunity to start work early and get lots of experience. Which is opposed to just learning it all in textbooks like you humans do." Rarity explained.

In all honesty, I preferred England's education system, but if Equestria's system worked as well, then I couldn't really complain with it.

"Interesting..." I mumbled, thinking about a million different things at once.

"So, I assume you want to know how old we are?" Rarity guessed.

I smiled and nodded frantically, it was as if Rarity had been able to read my exact thoughts.
Rarity cleared her throat before she began.

"Well for starters, you are quite correct when you say running a business is grown up, as Applejack and I are the oldest in this little company, Applejack is twenty four, I am twenty seven, Rainbow Dash is twenty on the dot." Rarity began to tell me.

Before she could continue, Fluttershy sneezed next to me, and being Fluttershy, it was cute as heck.

"Aww..." I said fondly.

Fluttershy then sneezed a second time, even cuter than the last, I could resist it no longer.

"Hnng..." I quietly groaned as I clutched my chest.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Rarity asked worriedly.

"Flu... Fluttershy..." I gasped.

"What about me?" Fluttershy squeaked, now extremely worried.

"Too... Cute..." I moaned before flopping onto my side and pretended to die.

Fluttershy blushed and looked away, Rarity and Rainbow Dash burst into laughter, while Pinkie genuinely thought I was dead. She pounced on me and started punching me in the chest.

"Callum! Don't go into the light! Don't go into the light!" She wailed.

This caused me to have a coughing fit as I wasn't prepared for the sudden attack. Which only made Rarity and Dash laugh even harder. Even Fluttershy began to giggle.

"I'm ok Pinkie! I'm ok!" I wheezed.

"I saved you!" She squealed, "Guys did you see that? I saved him!"

"You sure did." Rainbow Dash cheered sarcastically.

"May I continue now?" Rarity asked, still chuckling at the scene.

"By all means." I replied while Pinkie hugged me around the belly, still believing that she had actually saved my life.

"Where was I? Ah yes, Rainbow Dash is twenty, Twilight turned eighteen two and a half weeks ago, Fluttershy is seventeen, and Pinkie is the youngest at sixteen." Rarity finished.

They were all a bit younger than I had expected, but now that Rarity had told me of their ages, I wasn't all that surprised, one thing now on my mind was Princess Celestia's decision to send them here. Who in their right mind would send a sixteen year old on a highly important mission, to one of the most hostile places known to ponykind? Perhaps Celestia had valid reasons, but until I heard them, she was as mad as a marsh hare.

"You seem to be in very deep thought, do our ages surprise you?" Rarity asked.

“A little, but I also have other things on my mind.” I admitted.

“Like what?” Rarity asked.

“It’s nothing important.” I lied, not wanting to bring attention to the matter.

“Very well.” Rarity smiled.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get some sleep.” I said.

“But it’s the middle of the day.” Dash replied.

“Coming from the one who’s already had a nap.” Rarity teased.

“That was different, Pinkie’s boring life story sent me to sleep.” Rainbow moaned.

At this, Pinkie gasped, and then her lower lip began to tremble.

“You… You find my life, boring…?” She asked, her pupils expanding.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that Pinkie.” Rainbow Dash tried to say.

“You think I’m boring!” Pinkie wailed and buried her head into the nearest suitcase.

Rainbow Dash face hoofed and went over to apologise and comfort Pinkie. Rarity then came over to sit next to me to avoid being soaked in Pinkie’s tears.

“She’s pretty quick to react isn’t she?” I asked.

“And easy to please, watch.” Rarity giggled and she used her magic to create the sound of a squeaky toy.

Pinkie jumped into the air and started searching all around the aircraft in search of a toy; she stuck her head out of the large pressure bubble and instantly yelped and jumped back, the bubble responded by creating a watery noise and wobbling a little.

“My ears! My ears!” Pinkie screamed, falling onto her side.

At that, Rainbow Dash whizzed to her side and knelt down beside her.

“Pinkie are you alright?” She asked, full of worry, looking all over Pinkie for sign of injury.

Pinkie then burst into laughter and started rolling around.

“Tingly!” She squeaked, before crawling around the cargo hold like a cat.

I simply raised my eyebrows. I wasn’t quite sure about what to focus on in that small event.

“Quite the excitable one, eh?” Rarity chuckled.

“Yes, quite.” I mumbled.

With that, I stretched, and tried to find a comfy spot to sleep in, which I could not do, thanks to a large pipe underneath me. I ended up moving over to a pile of suitcases and curled up; it was then when an unfriendly voice spoke.

“Get away from me.” Twilight grumbled.

“I’m comfy here thanks.” I replied, yawning.

“Don’t make me say it again.” Twilight repeated, her tone increasing.

“I’m tired, can we make a five hour truce and you can kill me later?” I moaned.

“I said, get away fr-”

“Shut up Sparkle.” I interrupted, then shut my eyes and smiled to myself.

“What did you just call me?” Twilight asked, now standing up and towering over me.

I kept my eyes shut and yawned.

“Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle…” I mumbled, pretending to be asleep and mumbling.

Twilight growled in frustration and stormed off to the other side of the bubble; I shrugged and lay there, trying to get to sleep.



It had been half an hour and I still hadn’t been able to sleep with all the noise, I wasn’t sure what was louder, the plane’s engines, or Pinkie’s mile-a-minute talk.

“And then I said, ‘Newsflash, it’s the wrong soup!’” Pinkie giggled as she finished another one of her jokes.

Rainbow Dash laughed, as she enjoyed Pinkie’s humour, but everyone else just sighed and looked for something else to do.

“Hey Rare, I got an idea…” I heard Applejack whisper to Rarity.

“Oh?” She replied.

“How about you sneak up to Callum over there, and use that dye spell of yours to change the colour of his hair…” She chuckled.

My eyes shot wide open, but I didn’t move, I wanted to hear Rarity’s reaction before I confronted them. Luckily my back was facing them, so they wouldn’t see if I were awake or not.

“Goodness no, I wouldn’t ever do such a thing!” She gasped.

I sighed a breath of relief.

“Why not? It’d be funny as heck.” Applejack asked, still chuckling at the idea.

“For starters, it is cruel, and secondly, we barely know him.” Rarity told her.

I raised an eyebrow, this was starting to get interesting.

“He seems friendly enough.” Applejack said.

“He seems the friendly type, but we should still tread lightly here Applejack, this isn’t Equestria; this place is dangerous, Callum said it himself.” Rarity reminded.

“If he warned us himself, doesn’t it show that he doesn’t want to hurt us?” Applejack asked rhetorically.

“I never said he had bad intentions, but we shouldn’t be so quick to warm up to him, we haven’t known him for more than three days yet, you should never judge a book by its cover.” Rarity said.

“Actually, I know where you’re coming from Rare, I mean, he did hit Twilight and all…” Applejack mentioned.

“That was a necessary move though, I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, I am just saying we shouldn’t play pranks on him as if he’s a friend that we’ve known for years.” Rarity advised.

It was about time one of these ponies showed some common sense. Twilight was overdoing it, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie weren’t thinking about it at all, but Rarity had it just right. In this world, you simply could not trust people you didn’t know. I had a lot of respect for Rarity now; she was definitely the most mature out of the group, without a doubt.

“And as for hitting Twilight, I’m sure it wasn’t at his full strength, he just needed her to listen to him there and then, or she wouldn’t have made it onto this aeroplane.” Rarity said.

“Still, he shouldn’t have used violence as his resort.” Applejack replied.

“Well look at his background, the boy had a violent life; his mother beat him, his brother beat him, he beats people as well for a sport, that boxing, or whatever it was called.” Rarity pointed out.

“I guess you have a point there.” AJ mumbled.

“What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked, butting into the conversation.

“Just sports.” Rarity lied.

Rainbow Dash knew her friends too well and simply turned to Applejack.

“Applejack what are you two talking about?” Rainbow Dash asked a second time.

“Oh, well, we were just talking about Callum’s background, and how we shouldn’t get too friendly with him just yet.” Applejack explained.
Rarity sighed, and then I heard Rainbow giggle.

“Rare, if you want to hide a conversation, don’t have it with AJ.” She said, still giggling.

With that, Applejack took a stretch and went to talk to Fluttershy, who was quietly watching life go by.


“So why were you on about Callum as if we shouldn’t trust him?” Dash asked.

“I’m not saying that, I’m just saying we’ve only known him for two days and shouldn’t play pranks on him.” Rarity repeated.

“Suit yourself, but I think he’s cool.” Rainbow said blankly.

“Thinking is not the same as knowing, we should get to know him before we get too friendly with him.” Rarity said, who was now pretty much repeating every word she had said to Applejack.

“I don’t think, I know; did you not see him boxing? When he brought that guy to the floor? It was so awesome! One punch to the face, then he squatted and slammed him in the gut! I haven’t seen a fight like that since Soarin beat up that new guy in the Wonderbolt Academy!” Dash chuckled.

“There was a fight in the Wonderbolt Academy?” Rarity asked in shock.

“Oh yeah, and it was nasty, and very one sided. This ass of a pony tried to hit on Soarin’s sister, and she rejected him, so the guy tried to force her to get with him; she went and told Soarin, and he beat him up in the lunch hall in front of everyone!” Dash told her.

“Didn’t he get in trouble?” Rarity questioned.

“He did at first, Spitfire came in and asked what the heck was going on, then Soarin told her the whole story, and do you want to know how Spitfire reacted?” Dash asked.

Rarity simply nodded.

“She went up to the other guy and bucked him right in the jaw! She knocked the guy out!” Dashie said, practically shouting at this point.

“Isn’t that rather unprofessional?” Rarity asked.

“Not at all, in the Wonderbolts everypony takes care of one another, it's a band of brothers and sisters. If someone messes with one of the members, the whole crew come along to beat the crap out of them!” Dash roared with laughter.

“Besides your foul language, that is a very interesting insight to the Wonderbolts.” Rarity said.

“Foul language? I only said ‘crap’, it’s not like I said ‘fu-”

“I don’t need an example Rainbow Dash!” Rarity quickly interrupted Dashie before she could finish.

“Alright, alright, no need to lose your rag now.” Dash teased.

“Whatever.” Rarity moaned and went over to sit on a more comfortable suitcase near me.

I pretended to wake up, although I already was, and sat up.

“What to do…” I mumbled.

“Oh, you’re awake.” Rarity said. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m quite a light sleeper.” I replied.

Although I was awake the whole time, I wasn’t lying at that point; I was indeed a light sleeper. As long as I was well rested, it would take no more than a small twig snapping to wake me up.

“Are all humans like that, or just some of you?” Rarity asked.

“Just some,” I confirmed, “some of us can be awfully lazy.”

“I see…” Rarity hummed to herself.

Without warning, Pinkie Pie jumped onto a suitcase and screamed.

We hit turbulence!

Suddenly the whole aircraft started shaking, suitcase piles fell down, Pinkie jumped and ended up reaching the top of the cargo hold and grabbed onto a metal bar. A suitcase fell down and hit Rainbow Dash in the face causing her to yelp and jump back into me, who in turn jumped back as well, I tripped over a case and fell out of the pressure bubble, my ears instantly started ringing and my lungs felt as if they were about to burst; I breathed out quickly to reduce the pressure and jumped back into the bubble. My ears continued to ring, but at least my lungs went back to normal; Rarity hurried over to check on me.

“Good heavens! Are you ok?” She asked.

“Never better…” I mumbled as I shook my head to stop my ears ringing.

I looked over to Rainbow Dash to find she was having a nosebleed, thanks to the suitcase hitting her right in the nose. By the looks of things the bleeding was quite severe, but before I could suggest anything Fluttershy had darted to her side and was telling her to tilt her head forward and breathe through her mouth.

“Don’t put your head back now, and use your hoof to cover your nostrils, only gently though.” Fluttershy soothed.

I raised my eyebrows and sat there in astonishment, I had expected Fluttershy to hide at the sight of blood, yet she was the calmest pony here with it. So it seemed that her time working as a nurse in the Ponyville hospital had really paid off.

“I swear you should put your head back, not forward Fluttershy.” Applejack said.

“No, as nosebleeds start at the top of the inner nose, closer to the nostrils. If you tilt your head back, it bleeds for longer, and you can risk choking on it as it goes down your throat.” Fluttershy explained.

At that, Rarity gagged and ran to the other side of the pressure bubble, causing Rainbow Dash to giggle, making her splutter, which resulted in some blood spraying on my legs; Fluttershy gasped and ran to her bag to grab tissues.
While all this was going on, Pinkie was still dangling from the top of the cargo bay, somehow managing to hold on with just her two front hooves.

“Little help?” She squeaked.

Applejack stood beneath her and sighed.

“Drop.” She ordered as she rolled her eyes.

Pinkie dropped and let out a long “Weeeeeee” as she fell. Applejack reared up and caught Pinkie with her forelegs. After putting her down, Pinkie whizzed around like an excited puppy. I shrugged and looked back to Fluttershy, who was coming over to me; she took the tissue from her mouth and placed it around her hoof, before wiping the small droplets of blood from my leg.

“I’m so sorry about this.” Fluttershy exclaimed, looking as if she were about to cry.

“It’s fine, really.” I said soothingly.

“I should have got these tissues before, and now blood’s on your legs, I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy continued to apologise, as if she hadn’t heard me at all.

“It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve had blood on me, I’ve had a lot of cuts in my time.” I reassured her.

“But it’s not your blood, it’s somepony else’s.” Flutters squeaked.

“So? It’s only blood, at least it’s not sick or something.” I replied.

Upon realising that I honestly didn’t give a shit, Fluttershy relaxed a little, finished wiping off the blood, and went back to tending to Rainbow Dash, whose nose bleed had begun to die down.
I looked across the cargo hold to find Twilight glaring at me; I responded by sticking my tongue out at her, she snorted in disgust and muttered something under her breath at me that was too quiet for me to hear.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you, you’ll have to repeat that!” I called over to her.

Everypony stopped and looked at me, and then to Twilight, who looked away.

“What?” Rainbow Dash said with her head on one side.

“Well, it seemed Twilight wanted to say something, but it was a bit too quiet for me to hear.” I replied.

I stood up and headed over to Twilight, I stopped when I was about two metres away from her.

“Could you repeat it please?” I asked.

Her lips trembled slightly, clearly not wanting to.

“Never mind…” She said quietly.

“No no, please do, it sounded really important.” I pressed, beckoning the others to come closer.

Twilight looked at the faces of all her friends, and then back to me.

“I was talking to myself.” She lied.

“Really? Then why were you looking at me when you said it?” I continued.

I had a very good idea of what she said, I may not be the world’s best lip reader, but I can always spot when people mouth the words ‘fuck you’ at me.

“I was just saying random things to myself, and I happened to look at you when I said it.” Twilight mumbled, I was clearly getting under her skin now.

“Well what were you saying?” I asked slowly.

I gave her a small, devious smile that the others didn’t see, showing her that I clearly knew what she said, and was simply trying to get her to say it aloud to her friends.

“I… I was wondering what Daring Do would do if she were on this plane with us.” Twilight replied.

Rainbow Dash giggled and walked off, losing interest, the others did the same; Twilight had played her cards well, I’d give her that. I took a step closer and squatted down to be on her level.

“I know what you said.” I growled quietly.

She said nothing and glared at me like a rabid dog, not taking her eyes off mine.

“I don’t know what’s happened to you, but you aren’t the Twilight Sparkle I knew about, nor are you the Twilight Sparkle your friends knew. So until I see the nice, curious, friendly Twilight that I knew from the TV show, you are no friend of mine.” I hissed.

“Even if your kind were only half as foul as they are, even if I were safe back at home, I’d still never be friends with filth like you…” She retorted.

My expression didn’t change, I simply stared at her.

“So be it…” I replied before standing up and joining the happy side of the cargo hold.

“What was that all about?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh nothing, I just thought Twilight was trying to tell me something important.” I replied.

Applejack gave me a dull look, and then raised an eyebrow; I ignored the gesture and sat down, and then began talking to Pinkie Pie.

“So Pinkie, how did you know we were about to go through some turbulence just now?” I asked.

“Just a hunch.” She giggled.

I rolled my eyes and decided not to question Pinkie Logic. I looked around to notice Rainbow Dash staring at my fingers intently. Her nosebleed had stopped now, upon noticing I was looking at her, she looked up and giggled.

“What?” I said curiously.

“Nothing, I just think your fingers are really cool.” She chuckled.

This caused me to chuckle as well, even though I had no idea why.

“Why?” I asked as I tilted my head slightly.

“I don’t know, there’s just something about them that I find funny and cool at the same time.” Dash replied.

I looked at my hands and wiggled my fingers about, and found nothing amusing about them.

“I guess it’s because you don’t have any, so you find them more intriguing.” I suggested with a shrug.

“More intri-what?” Dash questioned with her head on one side.

“It’s another word for interesting.” I explained.

“Why not just say ‘interesting’ then?” She pointed out.

“Because intriguing sounds fancier.” I replied.

“Egghead.” Rainbow giggled.

“So?” I replied, not bothered by being slightly nerdy.

“You’re an egghead.” She repeated.

“I don’t see the problem.” I said calmly.

“You’re an egghead, that’s the problem.” Dashie giggled.

“Excuse me, do I look bovvered?” I said in my Catherine Tate impression.

“What?”

“Bovvered? Do I look… Bovvered?” I repeated.

“A bit.” Dash giggled.

“Am I bovvered? Bovvered?” I continued to say, making my hand go up and in an arc as I said ‘bothered’.

“Yes, you do look bo-”

“Am I bovvered?” I said slowly, interrupting her.

At this, Dashie began to laugh, my sudden Catherine Tate impression took her completely off guard, and she had no idea how to react to it.

“Callum stop that’s so weir-”

Hand! Face! Bovvered!?” I interrupted her, wiggling my head side to side like a dancing owl.

“What the heck Cal-”

“Bovvered?”

“Dude s-”

“Bovvered Dash? Am I bovvered?”

“Callum s-”

“Am I bovvered love?”

“What did you just-”

“I aint bovvered, do I look bovvered? Am I bovvered?”

“Callum seriously!” Dash tried to call out.

LOOK AT ME!” I yelled, then pointed to myself, “Does this face! Look bovvered? To you?

“Shut up!” Rainbow Dash howled with laughter.

“Why? I ain’t bovvered love; do I look bovvered to you?” I asked for the millionth time.

“You sound so weird!” She wailed.

By now, every pony was listening and laughing to my wondrous impression that was Catherine Tate. I decided to play Catherine’s trump card, talking a mile a minute that would give Pinkie a run for her money…

“Well love I was only arksing if I looked bovvered to you 'coz you were calling me egghead like I was bovvered but I ain't bovvered then I arksed you if I looked bovvered but you didn't answer me, it was a simple question love, do I look bovvered? I was arksing you a question, can't I arks you a question? Do I look bovvered? Hand! Face! Plane! Pony! Magic! Titan! Orb! Big Ball! Cuppa tea! Cuppa tea! Hand! Fingers! I ain't… BOVVERED!” I said, executing my impression flawlessly.

As I finished Rainbow Dash collapsed onto the ground in tears of laughter, Rarity and Applejack also howled with laughter, Pinkie didn’t get it, and Fluttershy thought I was genuinely angry, but then began to giggle as she understood I was only playing.


About a minute later when the laughter died down, a wheezing Rainbow Dash was finally able to sit up.

“Dude… What… What the heck was that about!?” She exclaimed, still gasping for air.

“’T’was an impression of a famous comedian.” I explained, making a duck face.

“What’s he called?” Rarity chuckled.

“She, is called Catherine Tate, I’ll show you a video of her if we ever get the chance.” I told her.

“If that’s what she’s like, then I can’t wait!” Dash giggled, finally able to calm herself.

Things got boring after that, I was out of jokes and impressions for now, and the others all went to chat with one another about home, so I wasn’t to be involved. I opened my rucksack, took out my phone and earphones, plugged in, and selected a song to play. I had a large amount of songs, due to my big vary in music, I had heavy metal, dubstep, pop, and classical, there was no genre I didn’t like.

After a minute or so of making a little playlist, I hit play, and zoned out to the song that suited the recent events of the past three days.

Author's Note:

For those of you who don't know Catherine Tate, here are 2 clips of her.
(Yes, she was Donna in Doctor Who, which is why David Tennant is in the first video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxB1gB6K-2A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV1zK8zRCPo

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