Twaylite Sporkul

by Cheesey Microwave

Chapter One

Once upon a time, there was a magical unicorn named Twaylite Sporkul. Twaylite Sporkul had a teacher named Princess Celestia.

One day Princess Celestia told Twaylite Sporkul she was going to become a princess. Twaylite Sporkul was all like "Forget you," and ran off into a mirror portal where there were human versions of all of Twaylite Sporkul's friends and enemies.

Twaylite Sporkul met a human version of Trixie and got into an epic staring contest with her. Trixie was all like, "I'm going to stand here and stare at your face and list five thousand ways I'm better than you." Suddenly Twaylite Sporkul punched Trixie in the face, sending them into an alternate dimension.

Twaylite grabbed Trixie by her collar and growled, "You cannot understand my power, for I am..."

"TWAYLITE SPORKUL!"

Twaylite punched Trixie again, sending them back into the other dimension. Trixie was about to say something and eat some peanut butter crackers, but she fainted when she saw a bear moonwalk past a couple of basketball teams.

Suddenly Twaylite Sporkul was kicked over into a mud puddle. When Twaylite Sporkul looked up, Twaylite Sporkul saw a human Discord. "Did you miss me, Twaylite Sporkul?" He was wearing all of the Elements of Harmony.

"The Elements of Harmony will defeat you, Discord!" Twaylite Sporkul tried to grab Twaylite Sporkul's crown crown, but Discord slapped Twaylite Sporkul's hand away and blew a raspberry at Twaylite Sporkul, then ran away yelling "LULULULULULULU" endlessly. Twaylite Sporkul got up and ran to the castle where a human Princess Celestia was eating a banana. Twaylite Sporkul began kicking Princess Celestia.

Celestia was shocked and almost choked on her banana. "Twaylite Sporkul! What is the meaning of this?!"

"You are a horrible ruler and unworthy to be ruler of Equestria and you're a bad ruler and you smell bad!" Suddenly, a human Queen Chrysalis threw a knife at Celestia's heart, killing her immediately.

Changelings filled the room. Chrysalis laughed evilly. "Go, my changelings, FEED! Feed on love and happiness and smiles and rainbows and whatever it is we eat! Uh, what do we eat?"

While Chrysalis was momentarily confused, Discord appeared out of nowhere and punched her in the face, knocking her out on impact. Discord laughed mischievously, which is totally different than evilly because Discord is just a chaotic neutral even though he acts like some crazy corrupted maniac. "I AM THE ONLY KING HERE!" King Sombra was about to say something, but Discord flicked him, killing him immediately.

The changelings turned into Discord and bowed to Discord. Discord yelled, "BOW TO ME, MY SUBJECTS!" Eventually, the changelings got up and tackled Discord and there was a bunch of fighting. Eventually, one Discord was left.

"I'm the real Discord now! OH! Oh oh oh OH! Oh!" He started moonwalking and killed the moonwalking bear to make sure he didn't sue.

Twaylite Sporkul went back through the portal back to Twaylite Sporkul's normal world and found out there were a bunch of weird creatures there. There was a blue hedgehog arguing with Rainbow Dash, a yellow fox, a red echidna, two humans in overalls one wearing a red shirt the other wearing a green shirt, a midget human with a huge mushroom on his head, and a Tasmanian tiger wearing shorts and wielding boomerangs.

Fluttershy trotted to the tiger. "Well, hi there! I don't think I've ever seen an animal like you before..."

"Uh, hi, mate, I'm Ty." The tiger had an Australian accent and seemed a bit nervous. He wouldn't stop messing with his boomerangs, constantly twirling them around.

Fluttershy beamed. "Ohh, you can talk! That's so wonderful. My name is Fluttershy, and I have lots of little friends! I know! Let's go to my cottage!" Fluttershy took Ty's paw and trotted to her cottage. "I'm sure we'll be great friends!"

Pinkie Pie started bouncing on the mushroom midget, who burst into tears. "Mario, HELP!"

"Toad, go help-a yourself! I'm-a tired of having to save-a you from everything! First-a goombas, then-a item boxes, now-a pink horses!" The human in overalls wearing the red shirt stomped away. "Come on-a, Luigi. I need-a some spaghetti!"

The human in overalls and green shirt watched Pinkie Pie bounce on Toad. "Uh, what are you-a doing?"

Toad continued wailing. The human in overalls and a green shirt left to follow Mario.

Twaylite Sporkul trotted over to Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie Pie, that thing is alive and annoying!"

"Oopsies!" Pinkie Pie giggled and stopped bouncing on Toad. "I thought you were just an overgrown mushroom!"

Toad continued wailing. Twaylite Sporkul trotted away, wondering what in the heck was going on. Then Twaylite Sporkul bumped into Discord.

"Well, hello, Twaylite Sporkul. Do you have any idea what's going on? Because I sure don't." Discord scratched his head.

Twaylite Sporkul was immediately confused. "But Discord, everything is all chaotic! How do you not know what's been going on?"

"Well, I've been busy lately! I'm trying to make this guy actually do something chaotic, but all he does is sit there and do nothing!" Discord held up a grey pegasus with creepy ice-blue eyes. He had a bored expression on his face. Twaylite Sporkul poked him and he did nothing.

Twaylite Sporkul looked confused. "Discord, are you sure he's alive?"

Suddenly the pegasus talked. "Of course I'm alive."

Discord screamed and threw the pegasus. He landed in the background with an explosion. Discord sighed and walked away. "Well, time to go eat some paper."

Twaylite sat down and looked at everything that was going on, feeling very very very very very very confused.

The hedgehog and Rainbow Dash were racing in the background.

Author's Note:

If this makes sense to you, stop doing drugs.

Comments

[scarves-n-converse]

Um... this actually made sense to me. And makes me choke laughing.
...
My doctor just informed me that I actually was born without the concept of sanity. I thought it just meant soap and politics.

Doc:

[TastyPony]

I... I just... *goes to read the next chapter*

[TAPEt]

...just one question. What kind of drug do you habe when you're writing? I think i really need that stuff

[StarlightDash]

The bear moonwalking past the two basket ball teams... Was it the white team you were looking at or did you see it anyway. And if you don't know what I'm talking about. Then this is very awkward...

[Frosty the Batty]

Aaaaaaaaannd it makes sense. THE UNIVERSE TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT ON THE WORLD OF EQUESTRIA!!!
And thats what happened?
Yup
I understand!!!!
You understand anything.
Yes, and i understand too.
Yeah, if you read this and you don't understand, you're an idiot.

[KittyKlawsz1275]

Art.