Becoming a Monster

by Telgin

Chapter 13: New Beginnings

Where was I going to go? I didn't have any idea. Going back to either cave was out of the question; I wasn't in the mental shape to deal with staying in them then, even if they were safe at this point. If they weren't I didn't really care anymore. Half of the point of me destroying Blackfeather and that pony town was to die in the process. I wanted to kill and hurt the griffons and ponies so that they'd never forget what they'd done to me, and then I could die to go on and be with Antic, Fealty and my whelps. I'd killed and hurt them, but the instinct to live is frustratingly strong at times and I'd survived. So, I'd wrought an untold amount of death and destruction, and now... now I had to live with it.

The whole time I was in the air I could think of nothing else. Faces of ponies and griffons flashed through my mind moments before images of their deaths replaced them. Shot through the head or the chest, shot out of the sky to crash into the ground, burned alive, torn apart by magically enhanced claws... the list went on and repeated. Over and over and over again. Some of them, mostly the griffons, were happy an instant before they ran into me. Life was good and innocent and carefree. They were just doing something trivial to further their lives, like getting something to eat or visiting a friend or even just taking their kids out to play. They had no evil on their minds at all, and yet I'd killed them all.

I kept trying to rationalize what I'd done. Up until then every pony or griffon I'd run into had been an intensely unpleasant experience. If I was lucky they just ran away, usually screaming that they'd run into a monster, but all too often they just shot or stabbed at me. They wanted to kill me, so why shouldn't I want to kill them? Many of them deserved what they got, maybe even most. But no matter how much I tried to tell myself they all had to die, I knew it wasn't true.

Scarlet Swirl was a perfect example. Antic had befriended her. A pony. He'd gotten to know her, hadn't he? Obviously we weren't so different on some level. She'd probably never done a thing to a draconequus in her life. Even when we tried to kill her, she just balled up and pleaded for her life.

In the back of my mind, I heard ponies and griffons crying and screaming for mercy.

But, that's how it was! Everyone begged for mercy when it was too late! The griffons who murdered Fealty would no doubt have wailed and pleaded for their lives if I faced and overpowered them. Crying for mercy proved nothing!

The brutal deaths of those ponies and griffons flashed through my mind.

Even so, I knew there were those who didn't deserve to die. The children. Griffawns and foals who were too young to have possibly hurt anything bigger than a bug. They didn't deserve to die. They didn't deserve what their parents had brought on them. I... I hadn't targeted them directly. Whenever there were adults around they sometimes got caught in it, but I didn't try to kill them.

The tormented, shrill screams of a young griffawn trapped in a burning home replayed in my head.

...so? So? Innocence proved nothing either! Antic hadn't hurt the ponies ever! Revelry felt terrible after she shot Yari just to save him, and yet neither of them had been spared pain and death. Fealty had stolen from them, but did that earn him such retribution? Or, of course, my whelps. They'd never even left our cave and yet they were taken just like the rest. Why should the young griffons and ponies be any different!?

Because... because, I knew it was wrong. It didn't matter how many mental barriers I tried to hide it behind. I knew it was wrong.

Extreme nausea filled my stomach, and if I'd eaten anything in the past few days I probably would have vomited all over the trees rushing past just below.

So, where was I going to go? I had no idea. Incredible fatigue wracked my entire body and I felt the cry for rest and sleep, but I knew trying to give in to either would be pointless. How could I sleep after murdering so many?

Willing or not, it was rapidly becoming apparent that I wouldn't have the magical strength to fly much longer, and eventually I drifted down into a small opening between the trees. I landed in an uneven clearing behind a fallen tree overcome with moss and lichens. Dead leaves crunched under my hooves and I nearly collapsed from exhaustion, but for the moment I propped myself against the nearest tree with an outstretched hand and just... stood there. My eyes and ears panned around, taking in the calm night. There were no screams of pain or dying, or the crackle of burning wood, nor was there even the scent of smoke or charred flesh in the air. Just... calm. Only the chirp of insects.

I flashed through the motions to cast a spell and the world flashed to show me the living things picked out as small lights hidden in the fallen leaves or up in the branches. They were watching me. Judging me. “What are you all staring at!?” I screamed at the bugs. “Don't you know what it's like to live and die at the whim of others!?”

The chirping paused for but an instant before resuming.

I screamed and kicked a branch next to my hoof. What had this accomplished? Nothing. Nothing! At most somebody would talk about the monster that destroyed Blackfeather, but nothing would change! All I'd done was reaffirm what they knew: that we were dreadful creatures that killed innocents in the night. They would just be even more afraid now, they wouldn't stop hurting or killing us. Zeal and Revelry were still going to die at the hooves of a pony or claws of a griffon one day. Rev was right. Nothing was going to change that. They'd never be safe, no matter what they did or where they went. And I was just making it worse!

A flare of magic surged through me and the tree I stood against erupted into flame. The chirping stopped. “Yeah! Yeah, that'll shut you up, huh!?” I yelled into the woods.

I fell to the ground, weeping and kicking at any small stone or other obstruction my hooves could reach. This had accomplished nothing! It wasn't going to protect or save anyone. It wasn't going to bring Antic or Fealty or my whelps back! All I'd done was murder a bunch of griffons and ponies for fun!

“Cantrip? It's okay...”

Panic shot through me and I rolled over and into a seated position to look in the direction the voice came from. There, in the clearing, seated atop the fallen log, was... Antic.

No. No, no, he was dead. I saw his body. Nobody could have survived that! And yet... I looked down at my dead hand. Had the ponies brought him back from the dead too? Why? But, didn't Zeal burn his body? I slid back as far as a kick of my hooves would let me. Something wasn't right here. A lot wasn't right here.

He waggled his fingers and made a shy wave. “Hi. It's, uh... it's been a while huh?” He slipped off of the log and stepped my way. “Things haven't been going very well, have they?” A frown edged onto his face. “Sorry...”

I choked up a spluttering string of nonsense. What...

“Don't be afraid,” he said, holding his hands up. “I've... well, I've been watching you Cantrip. I'm so sorry about what's happened.”

“Y-you... you're alive?” I finally put together.

He stopped in place and shook his head sadly. “No. I'm really sorry about that too. I just didn't want to hurt you anymore. If I'd known that you, Zeal and Revelry would end up so sad because of me I'd have never gone off like that. Can you forgive me?”

“Uh... uh-huh,” I stammered, still staring at my brother. He was dead. But he was here. Wh-what?

His expression shifted to something a little happier, and he raised his arms and spread his wings before spinning in a little circle. The horrible wounds that covered his corpse weren't there. “It's okay. I don't hurt anymore. Nobody hurts here. You don't have to worry about me.”

“Whu... huh? But... you're here?”

Antic nodded with a wider smile. “Yeah, I am now, but I'm only here to help you. We saw what happened just now. And everything else that has happened to you. I told them we had to help before it was too late.”

This wasn't going to start making sense anytime soon, I could tell. “'We?' Help me? Who-who else?”

“Me, Fealty... oh, and mom.”

My eyes flew open. “Mom?”

“Uh huh. She wanted to talk to you too.” He extended a hand to point off behind me. “She's right here if you want to speak with her.”

What? I spun around and saw another draconequus standing between two trees. Her deep green scales and ivory white hooves were clearly visible despite the darkness, glinting brightly under the moonlight. Long white hair reached down her to shoulders, blowing gently in a breeze I couldn't feel. She smiled pleasantly and searched me with her golden eyes. “Mo... mom?”

She nodded and strolled forward. “Hello Cantrip. It's been too long...” she said in that wonderful soothing voice I'd forgotten.

I... was... losing... my... mind...

What could I do at that point? Instead of replying or running away like a sensible person, I just froze. My mother, who had been dead for a decade, was walking toward me with a smile like there was nothing in the world wrong with this situation. I snapped my head back to where Antic was, but he was gone. Huh?

“Don't worry about him. He's back where he's safe and can't hurt or be sad anymore,” mom said. I looked back just in time to see her reach up and take my skeletal hand in her very much alive hand. Except... there was no warmth to her touch. Her little smile faded. “Cantrip... what have you become?”

I withdrew my hand and cradled the abomination next to me. “It's... it's not my fault! The-the ponies! It was their magic! I-I didn't know!”

She frowned and shook her head slowly. “That's not what I meant.” She brushed a hair from my face. “I'm talking about what you did to those ponies and griffons.”

“Wh-what? No. No! A-Antic said you saw what happened, that you saw everything! You know why I did it! Those ponies hurt Zeal! A-and the griffons killed Fealty! And you! B-both could have killed Antic! They deserved it!”

“Did Scarlet Swirl deserve it?” she asked simply.

To our right, the appropriately named red pony stepped out of the woods. Two crossbow bolts were still lodged in her skull where I deflected the shots from me to her. Blood was gushing down the sides of her head as she cast a mournful gaze at me. “I wasn't going to hurt you, remember? I was really sad after daddy ran you all off and crushed the eggs in your cave. I told him it wasn't right.”

...I had lost my mind. My mouth worked silently while I looked over her. What could I say at that point?

Mom sighed and looked to her left, where a black beaked white griffonness stepped out of the woods. “Or Ida? Did she deserve to die?”

The griffon's feathers and fur were singed, burnt and melted. A blade running with blood was buried in her chest. She cowed slightly and said, “I... I was just trying to protect my eggs. Why did you kill them? Or me? I didn't mean you any harm...”

I backed away. “B-but... you would have. Every griffon I've ever met tried to kill me! Some ponies ran away, but every griffon wanted me to die!”

Ida blinked back tears. “I did not know what a draconequus even was. I just wanted to be a mother... I never wanted to hurt anybody. Why did you take them from me?”

“You would have killed me! I know it! They always do!” I insisted, backing away more. I bumped into something and whirled around to find Yari and Dirk standing behind me. Blood poured from her neck, and he was covered in horrifying burns like Ida.

“We were just trying to protect our families. Just like you,” they said in unison.

Yari tried to stretch her shattered wings and hobbled forward on her three good legs. “We were scared you'd do something like this. I just wanted my husband and daughter to be safe.”

Dirk coughed and stumbled closer. “I swore I'd protect my wife and son to my dying breath. From anything, be it thieves of any sort or monsters.” His sad eyes locked with mine. “I feared you would all return in the night to hurt them. Was I wrong?”

“Eye for an eye!” I screamed back. “You killed me and my family!”

Around me dozens more ponies and griffons emerged from the woods, covered in burns, impaled on broken spears or by crossbow bolts or with profusely bleeding gashes across their throats. A griffawn so badly burnt his wings were missing limped out of the crowd. “How many eyes did you lose to take so many?”

The mournful looks of my victims changed to scowls. A black filly with blood running from her mouth and nose from a crushed chest pointed an accusing hoof at me. “Daddy said there weren't any real monsters, but he was wrong!”

“Monster...” a mare said.

“Nothing but pure evil,” an elderly stallion added. So evil not even death could keep you.”

“Monster!” a young voice shrieked.

“Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster! Monster!” the crowd chanted, over and over and over.

I covered my ears and hunkered down. “Shut up! Shut up, all of you!”

“Monster! Monster! Monster!”

“Stop it! Shut up!”

“Evil... born of it. Destined by your nature!”

“Monster... Monster! Monster!”

I fell to the ground and curled into a ball to hide my face. “I know! I know!” I shrieked. The chanting went on, growing closer. I could hear each voice distinctly. Each stallion, mare, foal, griffon, griffonness and griffawn that I'd murdered. Each blaming wail of anger fell upon me and reverberated endlessly in my head. “I'm sorry! Please! I know it was wrong!” I screamed before tears began to flow from my eyes. “It was a mistake! I couldn't take it anymore! All of the pain and fear and anger and sorrow, I just couldn't take it!” Everything I tried to say after that was lost among sobs and attempts to plead for forgiveness.

“Cantrip... it's alright.” I reluctantly looked up to see an outstretched hand covered in green scales. Mom was looking down at me with concern, and at that moment I realized the accusing chant had ceased. She crouched next to me and laid her hand on my side. “Nobody hurts here anymore, or feels any sadness ever again. Their pain and fear have all passed.”

Without a thought I rocked into a seated position and threw my arms around her waist before descending into another crying fit. “M-mom, I'm so sorry... I've done n-nothing but mess up since you died. I-I-I tried, but it w-was just too m-much...”

She pulled me into a caress and rubbed my back. “I know it's been hard. I'm so sorry for leaving you four, but it wasn't my choice.” She stroked my hair and said, “Cantrip, up until today, I couldn't have been prouder of you and your brothers and sister. You've done so well without me and grown so much...”

“Pl-please, mom... if-if I could take today back I w-would!”

“It's alright, and I know.” She raised my chin up with a single finger. “Everyone makes mistakes. What separates the good from the bad is whether you try to fix them.”

“Bu-but how? I-I can't bring them back! M-maybe the p-ponies, i-if the spell works that way, b-but the griffons... I can't get back to them!”

She touched her finger to my mouth to hush me. “Once you're here, there's no coming back. The ponies and griffons who died are safe and happy here. It's only those who you left behind that need comfort now.”

What? What was she talking about? “Huh?”

Yari reappeared to our side, devoid of her gruesome wounds. “I forgive you, Cantrip, if you'll make sure my daughter is okay.”

With a flash, Dirk appeared to our left. “As long as my son is alright, that's all that matters.”

They... couldn't be serious. What was I supposed to do? The foals would be beyond terrified of me! What was I supposed to do with them anyway? Take them to another pony town?

Mom smiled. “You always wanted to be a mother, didn't you? It's the most rewarding thing in all of the world.” She released me, stood and took a step back. “You were always a smart girl. I know you'll know what to do.”

“Wait. Wait, you-you can't mean that. I c-can't raise pony foals... even if I could they'll never let me!”

She began to fade from view before my eyes. “You'll know what to do. I believe in you.”

“Wait. Wait, no! Don't go!” I jumped up and threw myself at her only to pass through and land with a crunch among broken twigs and leaves. “Mom! Wait!”

---

“Don't leave me!” I screamed, bolting upright.

It was morning. I looked down and examined myself to find I was laying in the spot where I'd just tried to grab my mother before she vanished. She wasn't there. There was no sign of anyone having been there all night except for me. Even the tree I'd set ablaze was completely unharmed. It... had all been a dream.

No. No, not a dream. No dream I'd ever had in my life was ever so vivid... or specific and timely. I sat there for minutes, just staring into the woods and trying to convince myself whether I had or hadn't just witnessed it. If I had, what did it mean? Was it true? Had mom, Fealty and Antic been watching me? Really? Or the people I'd killed? Had they really forgiven me already of something so despicably vile?

No. No, there was no way. I'd simply... well, really, I had to have dreamed it. There was no other explanation other than having literally lost my mind. But now... now every thing was clear and sensible again. That didn't happen when you went insane, did it? I didn't know, and for the longest time I did nothing but sit there dumbly and fight back more tears as I dwelt on why I'd dreamed what I did. Even if it was just a hallucination of a sleeping mind under unbelievable stress, so much of it held so much truth...

I had done something unimaginably awful and evil. Nothing I could ever do would make up for it. For a moment I wanted to fly back to Blackfeather and just stand there until they killed me, but that wouldn't make up for it either.

The last thing my mother had charged me with kept repeating in my head. Was I seriously considering trying to go collect the surviving children of that pony town and raise them for my own? No! No, I couldn't do that! That wouldn't make up for anything either, and would only add kidnapping children to the list of horrifying things I'd done.

Yet, I couldn't shake the fact that there were at least two foals there who were left in a burning town without any adults to protect them. That was my fault, and the very least I could do would be to get them to safety somewhere. Yes... yes, I could do that much.

I dragged myself to my hooves, feeling rejuvenated after a night to recover yet still with shaky legs. No matter what happened to me, I was never going to forget last night... for so many reasons.

Wings spread, I leaped into the air and oriented myself toward the faint plume of smoke in the distance.

---

The town was still smoldering. So much heavy wood would take days to stop burning entirely, and as much as I had hoped for that very thing less than 24 hours ago I was now feeling yet another stab of intense guilt. The crackling corpse of the town now stood as a testament to what I really was under the surface. Just like the magic had brought me back to life with a twisted and rotten body, my very soul was forever changed and darkened. I wasn't Cantrip anymore. I was something else...

I set down in the center of the main road and began surveying the damage for any signs of life. It was entirely possible that the foals had died after I left, from breathing the smoke or being forced into the woods or any number of other ways. If I was lucky they wouldn't have gone far. If I was extremely lucky I would have somehow missed one of the mares or stallions, and maybe they would have taken any survivors somewhere safe by now.

The first thing I noticed was that some of the corpses had been moved. Yari's body was gone, the only evidence it had ever been there being an enormous stain of blood on the stones and grass. Most of the other guards who had been slain trying to protect their families and lives had been moved too. Maybe I would be lucky after all. If there was an adult or two left, I could just leave...

Behind me I heard tiny hooves clopping on stone and a young voice sniffling. A green earthpony filly moped down the street and stopped at an armored body lying in a twisted heap next to the road. She was older than the others I'd seen. Maybe just a couple of years away from being a mare. I watched as she wiped her eyes, then rolled the body over to start removing the guard's armor. Piece by piece she stripped the dead stallion, brushed the bloody armor aside, then started tying a rope around his forelegs. Was... she the one who moved them all? Where? I ducked behind a partially standing building and watched as she pulled the rope taut, strained and slowly dragged his body away.

It wasn't too hard to follow her without being seen. Even if I'd made sure that the town was razed and there were few places to hide, the poor soul ahead of me was making enough noise on her own that she never heard me creeping along behind her. Each sniffle and sob was like a knife in my heart. This was a mistake. I really shouldn't have come back. What was I even going to do? I still had no idea! Just walk up to her and apologize for murdering her family and the other ponies whose carcasses she was cleaning the streets of?

Unsure of what to do, I followed her a bit further until we reached what looked like it was once a landfill at the edge of town. Now the garbage had been covered by at least ten dead ponies. I saw Yari's body there, as well as Scarlet's. A few others whose names I'd never know. My guts tightened in a strange way, and I watched the filly unstrap herself and start untying this pony. She wiped her eyes again, sat heavily, and looked up.

Her eyes met mine. Her mouth dropped open.

Clearly, neither of us knew what to do at that moment. Here I was. The beast that had slaughtered her family and come so close to taking her with them. A defenseless little filly who was just doing her meager best to pay respects to the dead here. Staring each other down. Tears began to flow anew down her cheeks as she sank into a hunched position.

“No... please... don't be afraid...” Oh, sure, like that was going to work!

Predictably, she squealed in terror and bolted as I took a step closer.

Which in turn prompted me to give chase. I hopped into the air and beat my wings from habit so I could follow without thundering after her on hoof. What in the world was I going to do if I caught her? Ask her over and over to forgive me until she did? What sane pony would listen to the walking, talking decaying corpse of a monster? This was stupid! Even so, I flew after her, winding through the street and into a side alley between burnt out husks of homes. I had to do something other than leave her to her fate here...

The scream and sob filled pursuit ended when she ducked into the house on the right. She couldn't have thought that would hide her long, but I can attest that when you're scared you'll do just about anything. I touched down at the doorway and tried to ignore the overpowering stench of soot and ash as I scanned the room. It was probably a single room home initially, but it was so badly scorched and partially collapsed that I couldn't be sure. To my left I heard a faint rattling coming from a cupboard. If she was hiding in there, maybe I could catch her with my magic before she could bolt again. Faint blue energy swirled around my hand and I prepared a stunning spell, just in case.

Inside the cupboard I found a pile of metal pots and pans trembling and clattering together, and a single little green hoof poking out from behind them. “Child... I mean you no harm...” She squeaked and the pots shifted, but no response.

So, I removed the biggest pot at the top. Bloodshot orange eyes peered over the makeshift cover for an instant, then ducked down amidst panicked whimpers. “Don't kill me!” she pleaded before descending into bitter sobs.

“I'm not going to hurt you, I promise!” I reached out a hand and removed another metal container I didn't know the purpose of. “Please... I just want to help.”

“P-P-P-Princesses save me...” she whined, her voice cracking at the height of it.

Well. Here I was. What now? I'd spent how long trying to figure out what to do at this point, and this is all I could come up with? I could hardly blame her! But... okay, if I left her alone, what should I do? Make sure she wasn't hurt and that there was food around for her? That wasn't going to solve much of anything! But there had to be something else I could do!

A moment later, it hit me. I knew a spell that could help, but I had only the most fleeting amount of practice with it. I'd used it a time or two to relax right after Fealty was killed. A spell I'd learned from him. “It's okay... everything's going to be okay...” Red magic fog drifted from my hands into the hole she was curled up in. Even after a few moments her shuddering began to ease back. “There... now, don't you feel better?”

“I-I-I... I do-don't...”

I removed a couple of pans to get a better look at her. Her cheeks were soaked with tears and her entire body was covered in grime and soot. Poor thing... how could I have done this to her? “Come on out... I'm not going to hurt you, I promise.”

Reluctantly and only after a lot more urging from me she crawled out of her hole, spilling utensils into the floor with a suitable racket. She sat in front of me, face to the floor as she sniffled and trembled a little. “Wh-what are you going to do to me?”

“I'm here to help,” I said sadly. With an intact finger to her chin I urged her to look up. “It's okay... I... made a terrible mistake last night. I'm here to make up for it however I can.” Might as well be honest, as pointless as it was.

To my surprise, she nodded slowly and wiped her nose. “Why did you kill everypony?”

I took a deep breath, completely out of habit since I didn't need to breathe anymore, and replied, “Because they hurt me and my family before. They killed some too. I was very angry and not thinking clearly.”

She nodded again.

“What's your name? Are there any others left?”

She nodded again slowly, fighting back tears. “I-I'm Lilac. There-there are two more. Cinnamon Flakes and R-Rose.”

Talking seemed to be working. It scared me how effective this spell was. This might actually work. I placed a hand on her withers. “Okay. Do you have any other family? Anywhere else?”

“I-I don't know. Nopony near here.”

A sigh passed my lips, again out of pure habit. So, okay, she wasn't screaming or sobbing anymore, but what now? If she didn't have any other family, what did I do with her? Just take her to the nearest pony city and hope for the best? I guess I could. Now, where was that?

While I was busy worrying over that, she slumped forward into my chest and started weeping again. Each choked gasp and tear was another twist of the knife in my heart. So help me, after I got her and the other two somewhere safe, I was going to tear off my wings and throw myself off a chasm. Maybe that would kill me...

“No... no, please... don't cry anymore.” I channeled more strength into the spell, and again she quietened down to a few soft sniffles.

“Who are you?” she mumbled at last.

The possibility that she'd care hadn't even crossed my mind. I... I wasn't Cantrip anymore. Cantrip died in that cave, and what rose from her corpse wasn't her. I placed my arms around the distraught child and just held her for a little while. “It doesn't matter. Don't worry about who I am anymore. I want to just be gone and forgotten.”

She threw her hooves around me. “Do-don't leave me. I don't want to be alone again!”

Yet again I was taken aback. She was hugging me. Willingly. I didn't know what else to do other than to just rub her back and say, “It's okay. I won't leave you alone. I promise.” It took a little effort to coax her to her hooves, but at length I got her out of the house. “Why don't you show me where Cinnamon Flakes and Rose are?”

Lilac took a shaky step off toward a small building at the back of the settlement. Near where I'd first landed to wrangle my insane siblings half a year ago. “O-okay. They, um, they're back here. I told them to hide in the shed. Since it wasn't burnt and there were lots of places to hide.”

“Smart girl,” I said, stroking her mane.

She smiled, and off we went. She smiled. This magic was scary in what it could do...

---

My encounter with Cinnamon Flakes and Rose went about the same as it did for Lilac. More of Fealty's soothing magic calmed both down to the point they willingly came out of their hiding places to join us. That made our little ragtag group of misfits two fillies, a colt and the monster who slew their families. If I wasn't living the moment, I would have never believed it in all my years.

That still left me uncertain on what to do. I knew there were more pony towns and cities far, far down the river. Or if I was feeling like taking a bigger risk I could have left them at Blackfeather, but I didn't like how that could play out. The griffons and ponies got along, but would they take in the foals? I had no idea and didn't want to take the chance.

So... three pony foals who were terrified at the idea of being left alone, and nowhere certain to take them. Time wore on as I sat with them in the smoldering ruins, and the only conclusions I ever came to didn't seem like great ideas. It could be several days' travel to get them somewhere safe. Could I protect them for that long? Could I provide for them? Lilac was quick to show me the meager scraps of dried fruit she'd saved from the burnt out storehouse, but it would only last them a day at most. That left me with few choices...

...so I settled on what at the time felt like the least bad option. Together, the four of us touched down at the lip of the hole in the ground leading to our-no, my-cave. It was getting dark and the dried apple slices and raisins that Lilac found were already almost gone. I didn't have a lot of choice left. Here they would be safe with me. Anything that dared invade the cave would have a very nasty surprise in the form of a living-dead draconequus with a limitless supply of mana at her disposal. Yeah... even if it didn't work so well last time.

“This is where you live?” Cinny asked, stepping closer to the hole.

I held him back rather than let him risk slipping and falling in. “That's right. Just down here. Hold on everyone.” A faint haze of magic shrouded the three ponies and lifted them into the air. Together we floated down the shaft of dwindling evening light to land between little pools of standing water. “Follow me.”

“Does anyone else live with you?” Rose asked on the way back to the chambers my siblings and I once used to sleep.

“Not anymore. They all... left recently.” I moved on past the bedchambers, still filled with my sibling's belongings, and brought them to the back room with the mana basin. “This is where I stay most of the time.”

The three looked around in wonder, but didn't stray from me. “Are we going to stay here too?”

“For a little while.” Until I could figure out where to take them, they would be safe there. It couldn't take but a few days to figure that out. A merchant caravan would come along down the trail maybe. I had some illusion magic. I could pretend to be a pony if Antic could. I'd tell them I found the foals orphaned and didn't know what to do with them. That would work, wouldn't it?

Lilac wrapped her hooves around my arm. “Y... you're not going to leave us, are you?”

Rose and Cinny faced me, fear evident on their faces. The colt asked, “Bad things aren't going to come get us too, are they?”

I gathered all three into a strong hug. “No... no, nobody is going to come hurt you. As long as you're here with me, nothing can ever hurt you again.” Tears began to form in my eyes. I'd allowed and caused too much harm to ever let that happen. These poor, innocent, sweet children had been wrong in such a barbaric, tragic way...

They tightened their grips on me, and I wrapped my arms tighter around them. “No... with me, you'll never be sad again. You'll never hurt again. You'll never be alone again...”

Never... alone... again...

Comments

[Anonymoosh]

Nice lil revelation chapter. Keep up the good work!

[Telgin]

4009326
Thanks! Believe it or not, this is intended to be the final chapter. I'm having some serious reservations about posting the epilogue that I'd intended to because I think it detracts from the ending as it is.

Possible spoilers below if by some freak chance you play Dwarf Fortress and read the community games section of their forum often!

If it seems odd to end it where it is, well... you're probably right. The truth is that as I mention in the story description, this is actually set in an alternate universe and tied directly to this role playing / game thread: Dusk Fields (or see the incomplete, as of this writing, FiMFiction transcription here).

The epilogue was intended to help bridge the two stories together a lot and explain a little on what happened next, but it feels to me like it totally derails the already shaky plot unless you knew about Dusk Fields and does way too much telling rather than showing. I've come to rather like this being stand alone and plausibly being set in the normal Equestria.

So as it stands, I'm currently reconsidering how to end it. I'm probably going to upload an epilogue of some kind, but just what it goes into I'm not sure yet. Hopefully it will be halfway decent, whatever it ends up being.

[Dark_Night]

wow. really good fic... loved the entire thing. though i must note that i didn't realize that cantrip was a female until the point of which she said she was going to be a mother. you may want to consider that.

Edit: well apparently i didn't read the description...

[Telgin]

4010970
Glad you liked it! Interesting that you pointed out that it wasn't obvious what her gender was until that point. While it was in the description, it does trouble me a bit to know that it was possible to make that mistake... A bit late to do anything about it now I suppose.

Oh well, I hope you enjoy the epilogue too when I get it up. I'll post something, since I feel the ending really needs at least a little more to it.

[Veprem]

Ida can't catch a break in any reality, can she?