The Epic Tale of Jack Darrius

by Ponyswamp

The Fantastical Adventures, And So It Begins, Chapter 4

Author's Note:

Gawd, I don't update this thing. Well, here's chapter 4, more than a year since chapter 1 started getting bad reviews.
I promise, I'll update this more, and that the quality of the story will improve when the first subsection ends.

Chapter 4

My mind races back to that moment over and over again. He broke that boy's leg. That boy will likely never walk again. This boy, this Jack Darrius, he cannot be our savior. There is no way that Equestria's fate depends on someone who can mutilate someone with such ease and seamless fury.

I can barely stand to get on his scooter as we head back to his home. The trip is a blur, and I think I threw up again once. Or twice. Either way, when we got back, I sprinted to the bathroom and vomited again. By the time I was done, the spell had worn off, leaving me a sickened Alicorn princess in a heap of patchwork clothes.

Rainbow knocked on the door. “You done in there?” she asked, the words tinged with sadness and concern. It doesn't do her voice well. Anyone whose actions cause that tone cannot be heroes.

I exit the bathroom to a cacophony of voices. All my friends are asking what happened, if I'm okay, and why Jack locked himself out of the house and is sitting motionless in the backyard. I look around at them, at Spike, at Fluttershy, and though it pains me, I tell them the whole story.

Their reactions vary from shock to rage to disgust. I didn't blame them. After a session of consoling both me and Fluttershy, we walked to the back of Jack's house to gaze out the window at him. Indeed, he was motionless, sitting cross-legged in the grass, facing away from the house. I began to wonder what he was doing, just as Rainbow dashed out the door and stopped mere inches behind Jack.

“What in the name of Celestia is wrong with you?” Rainbow screamed at his back. “You could have killed that guy! You scarred Twilight for life, and probably Fluttershy, too!” Jack didn't move at all, save for the steady, subtle bobbing signifying his breathing. Rainbow continued to yell with no response, and the rest of us followed her outside.

When Rainbow finally finished her tirade, I took her place, though without as much anger. “Jack...” I began, though for a change I found myself at a loss for words. Feelings cascaded like a raging waterfall, and I had absolutely no idea what to say. I stood there for the longest time, just watching the back of this madman. His shoulders rose and fell, steadily slowing, then rising in speed, then slowing again. His breathing was erratic, and I wasn't sure what the cause was.

I studied his hair, strange as it sounded. It was messy and brown, and down to his neck. It curled at the ends of each hair. I wondered why in Equestria, or why on Earth, I suppose, this caught my attention, and I looked away. My eyes focused on his ears, and the small buds that were deposited in them.

Wait. Small buds? I looked closer, and saw that the buds were connected via a wire, and that the wire continued down into his pocket. At first I couldn't register what in the world it was, but the gears started turning in my head, and soon, as I noticed that the awkward silence we had fallen into was pierced by a quiet tune, I understood.

Jack can't hear us. He's listening to music.

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Winter wrap up, winter wrap up! Let's finish our holiday cheer! Winter wrap up, Winter wrap up! Cause tomorrow, spring is here! The merry melody was all too often interrupted by thoughts of violence and pain. Calm yourself, Jack. Deep breaths, Jack. You know how to do this, you've done it enough to have mastered the art of self control.

Then why in hell haven't I frigging mastered the damn art? I just frigging fight and fight and fight, and then I just sit in the damn yard and stew over it for a few hours! Why can't I...

No, no, this is why I sit here for hours. I keep falling back into this bull. I can do this, I can. I've done it every time before. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in...

Suddenly, my sanctuary of music is interrupted, as some unidentifiable force gently pulls one of my headphones out. I turned and stood, as slowly as I can, to see a concerned and sad Fluttershy, a severely pissed off Rainbow Dash, and a mad and yet confused Twilight Sparkle. The others were there too, and they were in various stages of rather negative emotions, even Pinkie Pie.

Clearly, they know.

I reached into my pocket and switched off my music. To signal that it was truly off, and that they had my full attention, I took my headphones and stuffed them into my pocket. Twilight stepped forward, and I looked her in the eyes. I tried to make my face as blank as possible. I wasn't sure how well that went, though Twilight started talking nonetheless.

“Jack...” she began, but I put up a hand to stop her. I looked at all of them, at how terrified and angry and sad they were, and I let out a sad sigh. “I'm sorry.” It was the only thing I said at first, and it seemed to go over well. I sighed again, and sat down, motioning for them to do the same.

“Do you know what adrenaline is?” I asked, as softly as possible. Rainbow began to pipe up, but I stopped her. “I mean medically.” Twilight spoke up then. “You mean epinephrine?”

I nodded. “On Earth, there's a disease called Cushing's Syndrome, where the body produces too much corticosteroids.” I looked at the Twilight's six friends, who are all dumbfounded. “Corticosteroids are hormones produced in the adrenal cortex.” There was still the stupefied looks. “Body stuff the brain makes.” That worked.

I continued. “Cushing's Syndrome has a lot of negative effects, like general weakness and loss of muscles.” I sighed again. It's a thing I seem to be doing a lot of. “I was born with it, which is normally thought impossible.

“The doctors performed a radical surgery; they subsidized the corticosteroids so that the excess go through an artificial filter, which has the corticosteroids then do other stuff. Honestly, I'm probably getting most of this stuff wrong. Anyway, the corticosteroids went on to help make more adrenaline, and that was a whole new ballpark.

“With the excess epinephrine, I experienced increased bodily functions; I'm a little stronger, I'm more resistant to pain, and I heal a little faster, too.” My fist clenched instinctively. “But I can't control my rage. It's there, always.

“The doctor's called it Cibola Syndrome. I get mad, a lot. And it takes a lot to calm down. And when I do get mad, it's always overreacting.” I looked at all of them. “I'm sorry for my disease. No sarcasm, no jokes. I really am sorry for it. You came here for a hero to save Equestria, and you got me. I don't belong there, I'm just too violent. So... I don't know, go home after the elements recharge, and try again. You obviously failed this time.”

Twilight and the others looked at each other, their faces all bearing an unidentifiable emotion. After a few moments, they nodded nearly simultaneously. Twilight looked at me, and sighed.

“Well, as cheesy as it sounds, there's no problem friendship can't solve, right?” I didn't quite comprehend it, until Twilight hugged me. Then Fluttershy. Then all the rest in a big old group hug.

I smiled, started crying, and hugged back.

This is way more than I deserve, but I'll take it anyway.

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The counselor sat down behind his desk in his new office. He looked at me with an almost dumbfounded expression, then motioned for me to sit.

I did, begrudgingly as I could. The idiot looked at me for a while, then cleared his throat.

“Could you tell me your name?” He asked, his voice wavering. I nearly grinned at his insecure stupidity.

“I'm sorry, I thought you'd know that.”

He blinked. “Just to ensure your mental state.”

“You think I'm crazy?”

“Aren't we all?”

I wasn't expecting that. I reexamined the counselor. He didn't dress like any of the staff. He wore a t-shirt and pants, and frankly they were pretty shabby. Like, medieval peasant shabby.

I cleared my throat. “So, where's your notebook?” Normally everyone on staff carried a notebook.

He tapped his temple. “You could say that I've memorized your file.”

“Then why don't you know my name?”

He chuckled this time. “I thought I was supposed to be the one asking the questions.”

“You are.”

He sighed, though with a smile. “Then let's start. They say that you're extremely disobedient and disrespectful, as well as utterly impossible to reason with. Why do you think that is?”

I shrugged, playing along for now. “I need something to entertain me. There's nothing to do around here.”

He nodded. “Yes, fun is essential.”

Well that's surprising. No one else thinks that in this stupid place. He is an odd one.

He continued. “But why do you say there's nothing left to do? This is a big...” he hesitated, then laughed. “...yeah. Surely there's something to do?”

He is weird. “Nope, nothing.”

“In that case...” he stood and walked over to an average, stupid looking sack. “...how about I liven things up a bit with some magic?”

Really? Magic tricks? Not only is it juvenile, but it's obviously fake. Plus, stuff like that pisses off the staff to no end.

“I think-”

He put up a hand as he picked up the bag. “That the staff will kill me if I do something fun? Let 'em try.”

He assumed a cartoon-like fighting pose, then threw the bag to me. It felt really full.

“Hold it by the bottom.” he said, then he sat down in front of me. I did, and he opened the top of the bag. “Notice how the bag is roughly the size of an average backpack.”

It was pretty small. He reached into the top of the bag, paused for dramatic effect, then produced a full sized acoustic guitar from it.

He closed the bag and tossed it away. I was holding the bag and it seemed fine. I looked at him. “How did you-”

Again, the hand went up. “Trade secret.” He strummed off a quick tune, then handed the guitar to me. “Here you go!”

Why-”

That damn hand. “For putting up with how stupid I am.”

He turned towards the door. “And so concludes our pilot episode, please tune in on Wednesday for episode two, where that wacky and stupid counselor shows off his single digit IQ by teaching our hero some guitar!”

I swear, this guy.

He turned to me and grinned. “So, Wednesday?”

That's when I realized this guy was serious. “Wait, you're gonna teach me to play guitar?”

“Of course! You said you've got nothing else to do, so why not?”

“But aren't you supposed to be counseling me or something?”

Still with a grin plastered on his face, he sat again.”Yes. So let's call it my patented music plus fun therapy.”

He turned away. “Patent pending,” he whispered.

I couldn't help it. It was the closest thing to a joke I'd heard in several years, so I laughed. Just a bit, but the counselor pointed at me and reeled back with mock terror.

“It laughs!? If it laughs, it lives!” He stood and cackled like a madman. “I have done it! I have created life!”

I kept laughing, and he kept going on. Eventually, he just started telling jokes. A good half an hour later, he put his hand up again.

“Alright, I don't wanna run out of jokes on day one.”

He shooed me to the door. “I'll see you on Wednesday!”

Honestly, two days was two too long. “Can't I see you tomorrow?”

He shook his head sadly. “Nope, sorry. The stupid guys in charge only put me in a few days a week.”

Then he passed me the guitar. “Don't forget this!”

I took it from him. “They'll try to take this from me.”

He tapped his nose. “Patented musical therapy, remember?”

I grinned, and walked into the hallway with my new guitar. The new guy isn't nearly as bad as I thought.

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Last night was pretty fun, I guess. Jack got a call from the school that he was supposed to go directly to the office tomorrow, which we all expected, really.

After that, he and we played games all night. Well, after he ran to the store to buy a giant wad of fabric for Rarity. She really wanted to make it up to him for butchering his clothes, and he seemed genuinely honored and humbled to have clothes made for him by Rarity.

We passed out in the living room, all of us, and in the night I heard Jack thrashing. I was the only one that he woke up, so I let him sleep it off. He did, after about a half hour.

In the morning, he got a call from the school. He was calm throughout. Well, he told us all to wait outside while he talked, and he didn't yell or break anything.

When he came out, he said that the guy whose leg he broke would be ok, but that Jack was barred from the school for a while. He shrugged it off, saying he would get to spend more time with us.

We played for the next few days, pretty much nonstop. Jack felt terrible, and every night he slept terribly. After three nights of horrible sleep, Spike crawled into bed with him. After that, Jack slept much better.

However, two days before the Elements of Harmony fully recharged, things took a turn.

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I woke up, with the best idea I'd ever had jingling in my head. I got up, trying desperately not to wake Spike, who had fallen asleep on my arm. I succeeded, and made my way to the kitchen, and I started making some calls. As well as breakfast.

About an hour later, the ponies woke up, with Spike in tow. I grinned as they stared greedily at the luxurious meal I'd made for them. They uttered a hasty thanks before digging in.

After the veritable feast, I sat them down in front of computer and started explaining my stroke of brilliance.

“Alright, so I was going through my curriculum that I'm missing, and I saw that there's a wilderness survival portion of the physical education course.”

Twilight blinked. “What kind of a weird gym class has a wilderness survival portion?”

I shrugged. “A weird one. Anyways, there's an upcoming test in the woods. The students have to stay out there tomorrow night without tents or anything.”

Right then I paused for dramatic effect. Pinkie did a drum roll on an actual snare drum, and it was only a little weird.

“We're gonna prank the crap out of them.”