"I know it doesn't affect how we feel and stuff, but this is trippy..." said Spike, stationed in front of the mirror of the train's bathroom. He waved a clawed hand in front of his reflection, which in return echoed a cream colored foal's hoof. His image showed nothing of scales of purple or spikes of green, but instead a cherubic face of a generic foal who's mother had maybe gone overboard with the sweets. His buttery yellow forelock drooped shaggily over his eyes, but at the same time only framed his face to accentuate his adorableness even more.
"I know Spike," said Twilight, straightening the foal carrier on her back, "and I feel really bad about putting you into this type of awkward situation-"
"Don't you lie to me Twi," he said, glaring at Twilight as she hovered a baby bonnet from her travel bag. She stifled a giggle as she fixated it onto his head and tugged at the drawstring.
"Ok, so this is more amusing than I had planned: sue me." Spike continued wearing his face of utter disgust as his eyes stayed glued to his cutsie-wutsie appearance in the mirror.
"Why do I even have to dress up!?" said Spike, finally retaliating and ripping the blue bonnet off his head and throwing it to the ground. Twilight frowned and levitated it back up, dusted it off with a hoof, and then sat it down next to Spike on the side of the sink. "If you're putting a disguise filter on us, why can't you just factor some clothes into the design? And don't give me any of that 'it takes a lot of magic' miss alicorn princess."
The train hit a rather rough patch of rails, sending the cabin jostling for a moment, but the dragon and pony in the bathroom regained their footing rather quickly. "The filter can only alter our skin. Everyone around us will see our faked skin, but the clothes aren't included in their perception of the filter. So we have to suck it up and play dress up if you want this to work, Spike. Or, we can try to fight off the crowds as they swarm over us for autographs and such and then get whisked away to the castle where Shining Armor and Cadance will try and inform Celestia of our whereabouts. You want that?" asked Twilight, leaning in to Spike.
The purple dragon scratched the back of his head. "Um, I guess not," he said, silently sliding the fake mustache he had brought in case of a photo opt back into his bag. "While we're on that subject though, what did you tell Celestia that convinced her to let you leave the castle for the day?" asked Spike.
"Spike, I'm princess of Equestria; I don't need to ask Celestia if I can go to the Crystal Empire." Right then the train screeched to a halt, jostling the pair into the bathroom sink corner and making them lose their balance. A hiss of steam could be heard as the engine rested and the doors swung open. Twilight, donned in her disguise only visible by others, levitated the equally disguised Spike into her foal carrier and trails their bags behind her out of the bathroom. Exiting and turning right, she caught a faint glimpse of the huge line that had apparently formed while she was creating their disguises. Strutting some fake confidence, Twilight exited the train with her bags and Spike, but much to her horror, was greeted by guards patrolling the entire empire. Flyers everywhere were apparently calling for the nationwide search of the missing Princess Twilight Sparkle.
"You were saying?" said Spike, crossing his arms.
"Ok, so maybe I should have told her I was going somewhere," said Twilight nervously.
"You're an idiot."
"Shut up."
"What are you going to do? The entire nation is going to start freaking out!" exclaimed Spike. A brown stallion standing adjacent to Twilight looked over at her quizzically.
"Did your foal just say a full sentence?"
"Um...no! Of course not! That was, um, me! Yes, me! It's a problem you know. Whats a problem? This is? Doesn't seem like it. Hahahahahaha!" cackled Twilight crazily until the stallion, now terrified, cantered away.
"Nice one," said Spike with an eye roll. "But seriously, you have to fix this, now."
"Ok, ok, let me think of something..." said Twilight, rubbing her temples with her hooves.
"Excuse me!" called out a very familiar voice. Twilight and Spike both swiveled around at breakneck speeds to come face to face with a white mare levitating several bags from high end boutiques. She wore a floral sundress with subtle yellow flowers patterned across it, along with diamond stud earrings and a braided headband. Her mane was curled but held back perfectly and neatly by the headband while the curls in her tail bounced freely with every stride. The bags she levitated at her side showed that she was obviously wealthy but not exorbitant, and her overly large sunglasses suggested she was somewhat well known and did not feel like being stopped on the street during her shopping day. The mare was none other than Rarity.
"Um, hello," said Twilight with a wave of her hoof.
"Hello," said Rarity, looking Twilight up and down. "I'm sorry for bothering you and your adorable foal, but I wondered if I might ask you where you got the garment you are currently wearing."
Twilight looked down at her body, and wished she could just face hoof right then and there; Twilight had foolishly made the mistake of wearing the simple dress Rarity had made her during for her birthday last year. She had chosen it quickly from her closet, seeing as it was the most casual and generic item of clothing left her closet of royal garments.
"Oh, um, a store in Canterlot, I think. I don't really remember. Life is a blur with a foal you know!" said Twilight nervously, a bead of sweat forming.
"Are you sure, and I don't mean to hassle, but its just that it looks identical to one I made for a close friend of mine, and I know the style hasn't been picked up by any other designers, at least that I know of."
Twilight struggled for a believable lie to get her out of the situation, even though she hated to lie in any case. "Actually, I was told about it by Fancy Pants who then had his friend make a replica for me because I loved the design so much."
Thats was obviously the wrong phrase to end the conversation with because Rarity's eyes shot open in delight and sparkled like Luna's stars. "Oh my! A fan! Hello, oh I must take you out for lunch so we can converse more on this! I've never met a fan before!" raved Rarity.
"Oh no, its quite all right, I just admired-"
"Shush! It shall be my treat and a way of saying 'thank you'."
"Thank you for what exactly?" asked Twilight, fooling Rarity with her disguise.
"For believing in me of course! For supporting my design and being somewhat of free advertising, if you will," beamed Rarity.
Twilight tried to do a dismissive wave of her hoof, but instead looked as if she was awkwardly swatting an imaginary fly. "Don't think anything of it, really. My son...Picklebottom-"
"What?" grumbled Spike, causing Twilight to zip his mouth closed with her magic.
"Yes my son and I were just about to head home."
"I just saw you get off the train," said Rarity cocking her head.
Spike covered his face in embarrassment for Twilight. "Um, yes, you did," stumbled Twilight. "We live here. In the Crystal Empire. Crystal Boulevard. Its a fairly new development," lied Twilight was a faux smile that made her mouth ache.
"You lucky duck!" whined Rarity. "I was told that only full blooded Crystal Ponies could live here to 'keep the tradition alive'," she said with overly dramatic quotations. "You must have some unbelievable connections! Oh please tell me who to get in contact with! I've been dying to get a little condo of my own down here for the summer time!"
Twilight searched her mind for a plausible lie, but once again fell short. "I don't know if I should say..."
"Oh of course, my apologies for prying into your personal life, it is a very bad trait I seem to have. Well, at least some good can come from my bruteness. Now I owe you lunch, as an apology. Come along, I won't take no for an answer!"
Twilight looked back at Spike who just shrugged his shoulders. Rarity's hips were already swaying in the distance as she sauntered off to the restaurant. Twilight rolled her eyes and broke into a trot to catch up with her friend.
"You know, you really remind me of one of my friends," she said as Twilight approached her side.
"Oh really?" she asked nervously.
"Yes, my friend Fluttershy, actually."
"Seriously?"
"The way you talk; so quiet and polite. Just darling!" said Rarity without taking her eyes off her path. "We'll be at The Patio in a few moments. Its such a quaint little place; I came here once with Princess Twilight herself! We are actually quite close, and we came here to eat after we defeated King Sombra. They have a leek chowder to die for!"
"That's where I recognize you from!" lied Twilight. "You're Rarity, the Element of Generosity."
"Guilty," blushed Rarity. "But that is a conversation for," she started to whisper, "a more private area." She smiled at me and then halted her own trot, turning to a pair of glass doors that read The Patio in careful script. "Here we are," she said happily as she levitated the door open and held it open as Twilight walked in, careful not to hit Spike on the way.
Rarity called to a waiter who led Twilight and Spike to an isolated booth in the back, even bringing over a high chair to set Spike the foal in.
"Thank you," she said softly to the waiter as he set down our menus. Spike had his arms crossed in the high chair looking positively pissed, but kept his composure much to Twilight's pleasure.
It was only a few moments before the waiter returned to take orders, too soon even for Twilight to open up her menu, but Rarity seemed ready and confident. "I'll have a glass of Chardonnay and she'll have a daisy sandwich with water, and the baby will have some hay fries. Thank you kindly," Rarity concluded levitating the menus back to the waiter.
"How did you know what I would have ordered?" asked Twilight quizzically.
"Well because thats what you always order. Always so cautious really," said Rarity, looking around the restaurant absent-mindlessly.
"Excuse me?"
"And really, a sky blue Twilight? With a pink mane? Dearie if you had the ability to make yourself any color only you would chose two that would clash."
"Wha-, you mean... you know it's me?" whispered Twilight, leaning into Rarity.
Rarity responded with a chuckle. "Of course I did Twilight. I could see hearts in Spike's eyes as soon as we made I contact." Spike blushed furiously. "And I spotted you by the dress; I mean really, no designer has picked it up, and only you have it. You're also an awful liar."
"But... you acted like you'd truly never met me before!"
Rarity smiled as the waiter brought over her wine. "I'm a very good actress," she said with a wink, taking a sip. "But by all means I encourage you to keep the disguise up while in public, I really haven't seen you in quite some time without the paparazzi interrupting."
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her friend. "How are you Rarity?"
"Oh no worse for wear. Sweetie Belle has been driving me up the wall lately getting ready for the school musical. I mean she has a fabulous voice, but I would just rather not hear it at 1 a.m. every morning," chuckled Rarity. "What about you, Miss Princess of Equestria?"
Twilight blushed at he usage of her full title. "It's stressful, for sure. It's a long story," said Twilight, leaving out the reason they were even in the Crystal Empire. "How are the girls?"
"FIne, fine. Nothing new to report. What are you doing here anyways? I know you're not here for the Lord and Neighlor sale."
"Um... it's hard to explain."
Rarity laid a hoof on Twilight's and cast her concerning gaze. "I have time."
Twilight looked around suspiciously, making sure no one was listening in on the conversation that was about to occur. "I'm doing some undercover research about a conspiracy I think may have happened at Luna's banishment a thousand years ago," admitted Twilight.
Rarity's eyes widened in utter shock at Twilight's distrust of her mentor. "Does Celestia know you're doing this?" she asked.
"No, it's Celestia that I think is behind it," said Twilight quietly.
Rarity gasped. "Oh my stars! What did she do?"
"I think... I think she killed Princess Luna."
Instead of gasping in horror, Rarity broke out in a fit of laughter. "Are you crazy Twilight? We just saw Princess Luna! She's obviously not dead!"
"Keep your voice down!" insisted Spike, waving a hoof at Rarity as she reined in her chuckles.
"Sorry, sorry. You were saying?" she said with a hoof over her muzzle.
Twilight glared at her friend, but continued. "Spike and I have found proof for reasonable doubt that our Princess Luna is not the one we have thought she was. We were actually here to search through the Crystal Empire Library's Archives to see if there's any uncensored information about her banishment. Anything in Canterlot relating to the myth has been taken by Celestia into her personal chambers. This is our only hope."
Rarity saw how concerned yet determined her friend looked, and knew better than to doubt Twilight, even when she sounded ridiculous. "I'm here to help."
Twilight smiled at her friend and the waiter as he set her food in front of her. "Then lets get started!"
Again, there wouldn't be anything about her banishment in the Crystal Empire, because the Empire disappeared before she was banished, unless we're whipping out that [AU] tag for more than Luna being a robot/clone/Dark Magic resurrection/puppet/golem/zombie/Cadance.
Damnit! Just tell us what the hell is wrong with Luna already!I'm waiting for the next chapter...3013767
That's actually a really good point...
You forgot the zombie-communist-spy option BTW. I remember seeing my first zombie-communist-spy... terrifying sight, I tell ya'.
3013767
Well on the other hand Celestia could have changed quite a lot of infos about the past (remember the empire reappeared after "luna" reappeared) so it could be that it was Celestia alone who fought sombra if even that part is right (quite convenient that the crystal ponys lost their memories and while they got it back don´t forget that mind magic might already be in the game).
Besides even if the empire has nothing about lunas death it could have a lead to a better location to search especially since Celestia hadn´t 1000 years to temper with the records.
3013793
Them zombie-communist-spies, man. You never forget your first. Ah, that brings back memories.
3013912
Especially the super-powered ones that use magic-infused sickles and hammers. Terrifying, I tell ya'.
3013767 don't you worry, this all falls into place very soon
Cadance is still around?
I wonder how that one works.
But I thought Cadence was the alicorn and now you...you... oh just hurry up and tie it all together already!!!!
3013980
Eh, they aren't as scary as the ones with two heads that dual-wield LMGs. They lay down some serious lead walls.
Either them or the 'knight' heavy-armored ones wieldin' swords. Fuckers 're hard as hell to crack. Bullets and lasers just bounce off 'em, and High-explosives powerful enough i can't seem to keep on me long. Insulting their mothers works, oddly enough. Seeing one running away in tears was enough to convince me to use that technique.
3014312
(I just thought about something. What if this story's title is a reference to Nietzsche's "Gott ist tot" (God is dead.) quote? It's kinda fitting... "Princess Luna is dead. She remains dead. And we have killed her. Yet her shadow still looms. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?")
I just yell, "Ni!" at them and they cower in fear. Still, you must always be on the lookout for the #360yoloswag ones... they're a dangerous and crazy modification of the normal one, and they're 360 times as dangerous.
3013999
Is "very soon" relative to the writer's time or the reader's time?
3014386
(You may be right. That makes too much sense to be a coincidence. Welp, we're gonna be silenced tonight. Either that or the assassins on their ways will fail horribly.)
As for the 'Ni!' comment, i oughta give that a shot sometime. But yes, I do make a habit of hunting the #360yoloswag ones. You can tell apart from the normal ones pretty easily. They tend to yell about, funnily enough, yolo, swag, and fucking one's mother on a fairly regular basis. Neither of these faze me at all, so they do nothing. Most of their tactics vary from the normal ones too. Sure, they're more dangerous than a normal one, but physically, they're weaker. With my trusty .50 cal rifle and an AP round, that takes care of two or three in one shot, if i get the chance. Otherwise i leave it to my trusty Incendiaries. Nothing demoralizes an attack wave like the first six to eight getting lit on fire, from a mile or so out.
3014584
(Lol, I kinda want to see if the author will confirm if it's a reference or not. We can continue this in the morning though-- I'm tired.)
I just use my portable rail-gun. Took forever to build, but having the government in your pocket helps.
3014753
(Yeah, it's not quite the morning, just shy of 1pm here now. Would be nice, but i doubt it.)
Wish I had one of them. Mind sending a few of them my way for them heavily armored ones, preferably in 'pen' caliber, so i can make some jokes about 'the pen being mightier than the sword'? That, and i'm currently based in a warehouse... with crates full of pens. So ammo's plentiful.
Though, i imagine if that railgun gets damaged in combat, it's relatively hard to find spare parts for, without having to send it in. 's why i stick with that .50 cal, parts are plentiful and if one's barrel is cleaved in half blocking from a 'knight's' sword, it's still usable, at least temporarily at close range. Ionic energy swords will do that to a gun-barrel, you know? It just takes a few seconds to cut into it when the barrel is specially coated to remove and block external polarization.
3017086
(Always forget that not everyone lives in the Western Hemisphere, lol. I can just shoot a PM her way if I really want to confirm it.)
Just encase the pin in a Tungsten-iron alloy exo-shell and it should work. The ultra-dense Tungsten with pierce almost anything once it reaches peak velocity, and the iron will allow it to work with the railgun's propulsion superconductor-magnets.
The ionic blades will be deflected by the massive magnetic field at the end of the barrel. Damaging the actual components of a railgun would be... difficult.
3017414
(I'm on the EST timezone. And if you would send that PM, that'd be nice.)
Significant amounts of tungsten are rather hard to come by, so unless i can find a warehouse nearby full of lightbulbs... that scraps that idea. It does give me an idea to improve my rifle's penetration though. I'll have to get to designing that soon.
Sure the magnetic field will stop the ionic blades, but regular bullets, projectiles, and explosions could still damage the weapon easily. I've found that coating a regular gun barrel, like on my rifles, gives it more overall protection. Sure, the barrel might be bent or partially destroyed from deflecting a sledgehammer strike, or an explosion in close proximity, but those with ionic blades get a nasty surprise. Of the weapons they've been using against me, Ionic blades on spears, halberds, swords, etc are the most common, and protecting my weapons against them is a top priority. After all, it's hard to fight zombie-communist-spies without a good weapon in your hands, y'know?
A new upside of the coating i've just found: they disperse hard-light lasers. If a hard-laser melee weapon or fired bolt comes into contact with the coating covering the weapon, the laser bolt bounces off harmlessly. In melee weapons' cases, it disrupts and overloads the weapon's solid-laser generator for a few seconds, forcing a hard-reset of the weapon's generators. Lower-quality generators are just burned out and made useless. Plenty of time to neutralize the target disrupted and possibly a few more looking on in confusion.
3017652
(Sending it now)
You really need to up to a Deus Ex Machina device. If I'm just tired of all the zombie-communist-spies, I just activate it and BOOM! Divine intervention and instant win. You can even set limits on it, like having to get a 25-killstreak and things like that.
3017652
Sent it.
3017729
3017785
(Thanks)
I've got something like that.
There's a little button that dangles on my necklace that looks eerily like the Staples Easy Button(tm). It took me a while to get it synced up to the singular orbital ion cannon i had purchased and launched into orbit. The button itself has an IR Transmitter that 'tags' an area. The transmitter/receiver inside the button relays that to the satellite, and then fires on that location. It's a neutronic beam of light, so there's no real physical destruction, just every thing in the area has its brain and/or nervous system overloaded. For collateral damage reasons, it can 'tightbeam' an area as small as a city block, or as wide as ten by ten. To safeguard myself, i've taken precautions. A different coating on my armor and helmet, along with their unique composition, keeps the worst of its effects from hitting me, but that doesn't mean i don't feel it myself.
As for acquiring an actual Deus Ex Machina weapon... I really oughta. I'm gonna look into getting a second cannon sent into space. Probably something that could mimic Celestia glassing an area in fury, like from the tale she told in Rites of Ascension. I wonder if i can get it to contain a ball of plasma through the atmosphere and have it disperse like a fuel-air bomb above the painted area... hmm... more designs... more designs.
3017889
Ooh, Rites of Ascension. Is it worth the read? Also, how far through is it atm?
I wonder how fast you could kill someone with a directed beam of gamma radiation (since it travels at the speed of light and is very high-energy.)
3017942
(And i'm off to class for the evening.)
Of my... *checks quickly* 913 favorites, it currently sits at #5. Overall. The fic itself isn't new, by any stretch of the imagination, but it's still early on into it's progression. The author's been having health problems lately, and hasn't had been writing lately, at least for RoA. That said, it STILL sits at #5, and i highly recommend it. Minor spoilers ahead: The story is refreshing from a lot of other 'Twilight ascending' stories. Instead of instant alicorn, Twi's supposed to grow into it. But the writing is well done, not riddled with errors or anything, and that helps me stay immersed in the story. I think he said something about there being multiple 'arcs' in this one story, and the first is finished. His plans, last i heard were to release the story an arc at a time, so one large update of like six+ chapters.
And a directed beam of gamma radiation... hmm, you know, that might just work! I'd still like to have a 'nuclear' option as necessary, but that second cannon going up might be dual purpose, unless i can get a deal on two sat-shells i can tinker with.
3017974
I really want to find out how fast you can give someone radiation poisoning or cook them with concentrated gamma radiation.
3017974
Also, she said it wasn't a reference to God is dead. :(
I thought I was onto something too.
Guys, please, don't comment conversations between yourselves on my stories. I've been reading through them to see if theres any questions I can answer but I just see stuff that doesn't pertain to anything. Please do those in private messages between each other. Sorry