Chapter 3
“Princess, this is a horrible idea.”
“Twilight, please. I believe I know what I am doing.”
“But Princess! Think about what you are about to do for a second.” Twilight yawned before continuing. “This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about. Super excitable. Likes to talk a lot. Can't sit in one spot for long. You know, the Element of Laughter?”
Celestia nodded to each of these points, checking them off in her mind as things under the list of things she was expecting her student to say. “And I have been in her company for nearly a week now. From the activities that we have participated in, I believe I have a proper feel for what she would like or dislike. I have repeatedly seen Pinkie show much appreciation of music and I am certain she will share my appreciation of the fine arts.”
Twilight stopped walking in the hallway and scrunched her brow deeply. “Which Pinkie Pie are you talking about? Because it sure isn't the one that's been in the castle with us.”
Celestia let out a light chuckle and lightly shoved Twilight with her side. “I am certain that she will enjoy this. Trust me.”
“I bet you five bits she won't.” Twilight sighed as the two of them finally made their way to the guest room. Stopping in front of the door, Twilight shook her head. “Seriously though, anything but this would be better.”
“Well, then don't look at the evening like that. Think of it as a celebration of how you are half done with your studies,” Celestia replied, winking.
“Not dying of embarrassment tonight would be a better celebration,” Twilight muttered under her breath. Shaking her head, Celestia opened the door and the two stepped into the room. A gasp escaped both Celestia and Twilight as they looked at the room. Namely due to the pony in the room.
Pinkie Pie was already dressed for the occasion in what must have been one of Rarity's newest creations, and Celestia had to say it was probably the best one yet. Starting from the small of Pinkie's back, a narrow and dark maroon fabric went all the way down the middle to the floor, a rippled design giving the edges of the piece a perfect amount of flair. From either side of these, a sheer yellow fabric fell to either side of her body, giving the look of both a formal dress suitable for the occasion, as well as the new “edgy” fashion that was apparently in style lately. A golden saddle, golden foreleg coverings, and what looked like electric blue glass beads woven into her mane completed the ensemble.
“Well... how do I look?” Pinkie asked, causing Celestia to recoil back and shake her head. Apparently she had been spending the last few seconds gawking like a colt on prom night. Worst yet, apparently the subject of her inspections had noticed, for Pinkie was looking at the floor sporting a blush.
Coughing, Celestia replied, “You look wonderful, Pinkie Pie.”
“Thanks!” Pinkie looked up to meet Celestia's eyes, but still kept her blush. “You look really super-duper pretty too.”
Looking down at her dress, she could only smirk. If Pinkie's dress is new and full of modern zeal, then mine is definitely a blast from the past. The best way to describe her dress was “scorching,” at least according to the designer. Everything about it was supposed to remind the ponies around her of her place as the sun princess. The upper body of the dress was a dark maroon color, similar to that of the cooler sky in a sunset. However, from her midsection down, it shifted to a bright yellow. That yellow went down the majority of the dress, until right around her legs, where it shifted to orange, then pink, then red, then finally back to the original shade of maroon. At each stage, there was a yellow trim separating each section, giving the look of fire lapping at her sides. Golden slippers, small pink runners, and a massive depiction of the sun on her chest completed the look.
“Thank you,” Celestia replied, still unable to tear her eyes off of the mare in front of her. “It's actually quite an old dress, but I'm glad you like it.”
A warm silence befell the two of them as they admired how each other looked. Personally, Celestia felt that Pinkie looked the best, but she was also certain that Pinkie would think otherwise. Strange. She couldn't recall the last time she actually stopped to enjoy how a pony looked. In terms of attractiveness at least. It had been... at least a century? Maybe more? In fact it—
“Ahem.”
Celestia whirred her head around and faced Twilight, who was unfortunately still standing right where she was forgotten. “Yes, Twilight Sparkle?”
“I know you're forcing me to join you on your little escapade, but do I have to join you in your staring contest as well?” Twilight giggled as she stepped through the door. “By the way, you look lovely Pinkie. How did you get those beads into your mane?”
“Oh, I tripped.”
“You... tripped?”
“Yep!”
“...I see.” Twilight shook her head one last time. “Well, whatever works. Shall we be off?”
Pinkie turned around to Twilight and cheered, “I'm ready if you are!”
“Good, then let's go.” Twilight said as she turned toward the door. “We better hurry though. We're already late as it is, and you know how I got the last time I was tardy.”
“Don't we all.” Celestia rolled her eyes as the three giggled. Allowing the laugh to dissipate, Celestia faced Pinkie and asked, “Would you like me to escort you, Pinkie?”
“Yeppies!”
“Then let us be on our way.” Together, the three ponies made their way out of the room and down the hallway. The entire way, the halls were as dead as the main road of a ghost town. To her knowledge, Luna was already in bed after the long day of instructing and the majority of the servants on staff today were either on their way home or were tucking themselves into their quarters for the night. Sure, there was the random pair of guards on patrol here and there, but with the exception of the formal greetings there really wasn't any conversation between any of them.
Hooves beating against the aging wood of the drawbridge, Celestia finally spoke up. “So, Pinkie, do you want to know where we are going?”
Pinkie stopped looking at the stars above, and closed her eyes in glee. “Of course! Unless it's supposed to be a surprise, in which case I'd still wanna know, but I don't think I should know because it's a secret. Of course, if it's a secret and you don't wanna tell me, then I really really really wanna know. Unless that means...”
Celestia lightly laughed as Pinkie yapped away. It was only until the chatterbox finally went silent did she finally reply. “No no. I assure you that it is anything but a secret. We're going to the Tenor Clef Theatre.”
Pinkie gasped and zipped up right next to Celestia's nose. “We're performing in a play!? Oh my gosh! You should've told me that we were! I would've gotten my lips prepared!” Pinkie zipped away, and began to blow raspberries into the air.
“Pinkie Pie, we're not performing in a play; we're watching an opera.” Celestia smiled, looking at the eye-rolling Twilight at her side.
Pinkie stopped working her lips and turned back to the two alicorns. “We're not?”
“Of course not.” Twilight came up to Pinkie and nudged her side. “We're only going to be watching the ponies onstage sing. Let the professionals do that sort of thing.”
As Twilight walked off, Pinkie hopped forward. “But I'm a professional!”
Celestia approached to Pinkie and shared a friendly nudge. “I'm sure you are, Pinkie, but let us allow the ponies onstage to entertain you for once. Hmm?”
Celestia walked off to catch up with Twilight, leaving Pinkie behind her. Soon afterward, the sound of hooves on the drawbridge once again resounded, followed by a mutter. “Oh, alright. But only because you asked nicely.”
The Tenor Clef Theatre was filled with hundreds of ponies from every corner of Canterlot. Every single one of them held some sort of useless title that they wanted desperately for everypony to address them by. Lord and Lady, Duke and Duchess, and everything in between, each made sure to rub their status of wealth and lineage into everypony's face in their game to rise to the top. Sure, she had her title of “Princess,” but she would like nothing more than to have everypony finally drop that thing, and be much more informal to her. Alas, such was the culture of the city, and it was not going to change anytime soon.
Yet, every single one of them was silent for the act that was onstage right now. Onstage, several of the best vocalists in all of Equestria were gathered together to sing to their audience. And sing they did, from the highest of sopranos to the lowest of basses, they filled the hall with their voices. Every one of those voices held the heart and soul of their owner. The melodies and supporting harmonies that each filled the air with was perfectly in tune with the others, with nary a missed note or a bad cue contained in it all.
Just in front of the stage itself the orchestra sat, providing their skill and expertise to drive the performance onward. Despite their commanding presence, they held no dominion over the stage. They were there only to serve the vocalists as they worked their magic. Sure, there was the violin or the baritone that would rise up and play its melody above them all in a grand solo, but for the most part they merely helped to fill the empty spaces in the music.
Above all of it, in the royal box seats, Celestia, Twilight, and Pinkie sat and enjoyed the opera in their own ways. Twilight had long since decided that she was going to enjoy the opera how she always did growing up: nose deep in a book. Celestia had chastised Twilight thrice now over it, but had long since given up on it. Pinkie Pie had initially enjoyed the opera in the more typical fashion, but after just the first scene she very apparently grew bored of merely listening to the songs, instead deciding to sing along in her robust voice. Celestia wasn't sure if Pinkie could be heard from the surrounding seats, but if she could the other patrons had very good poker faces.
As for Celestia herself, she was more pleased by the company of her two wonderful friends than the show itself.
In fact, the more that Celestia sat there and listened to the opera, the less she actually listened to the singers on stage and the more she found herself listening to Pinkie's singing. Sure, Pinkie was more just attempting to hit the notes than anything else—Pinkie simply belting out random words rather than Old Equestrian—but it was entertaining all the same. In a way, Celestia found that the singing that Pinkie was gracing her with was much more enthralling than the actual singers onstage.
Pinkie turned to Celestia and the two locked eyes. Her smile growing even wider, Pinkie began to sing even harder. Perhaps it was the life that Pinkie had beyond the performance. Perhaps it was because Pinkie was giving Celestia her own personal performance. Perhaps it was the way the world seemed to melt around them, leaving the two of them in their own little secluded dream. Perhaps it was the way that Pinkie had not a care in the world to how anypony would react from her song. Regardless of which one of these reasons was the case, Celestia knew one thing for sure—taking Pinkie to the opera was the best idea she had thought of in a long time.
Suddenly, Pinkie's song ended half done. Exclaiming in a surprisingly hushed tone, she whispered, “Be right back!” before zipping out of the door and into the hallway behind it.
Celestia watched the doorway for a few more seconds before turning to Twilight and whispering, “And here you said that this was a bad idea.”
“Hmm?” Twilight hummed as she lifted her snout out of the book she was deep within. Never letting the book go from her magic, she continued. “Oh, you mean bringing Pinkie here. I still say it was a bad idea.”
Celestia smugly grinned. “You said she would be bored. Instead, she appears to be enjoying herself, and quite so.”
Twilight shook her head, and looked back down at her book. “True, but I'm sure the Gems in the balcony next to us are more inclined to side with me.”
Smiling even more, Celestia grabbed Twilight's book in her magic and yanked it away, the unmistakable whimper of protest not escaping Celestia's ears. “Twilight, I am certain the Gems are much too far away to hear anything Pinkie is singing.”
Twilight turned toward Celestia, and she swore that she saw a glare in those lavender eyes of hers. “And if they can hear Pinkie's singing?”
“In all honesty? They will gripe in private, but would never risk saying anything to me or anypony else about it,” Celestia said. “To them, their reputation is everything. To have it besmirched in the eyes of one of the princesses? It would be a tragedy.”
“You have way too much smug in your voice for comfort.” Twilight narrowed her eyes further. “What's going on?”
“Why nothing, my dear student. I simply wish for all of us to enjoy ourselves. I personally am very much enjoying myself. I can easily see that Pinkie is having a lot of fun as well.” Celestia leaned a tiny bit closer and let her grin grow that much wider. “It appears that only one pony here is trying to ruin the fun.”
Twilight's eyes flew open. “What are you talking about? I'm having a great time! Spectacular!”
Celestia nodded. “I'm sure, Ms. 'I'm going to read a book instead of enjoy the opera' Sparkle.”
“But... I was on the interesting part! I was at the part where you have to estimate the rate of corruption and tax evasion among—”
“What in the world!?”
“Who is that!?”
The two of them both looked down to figure out what was going on, their previous conversation forgotten. As soon she saw, Celestia wished she hadn't looked for the sight nearly brought her to take wing and intercept the incident. Down onstage, the actors and actresses were all standing as still as statues watching the scene before them unfold. The orchestra, whether they did not realize what was going on or because of force of habit, continued to play music as if nothing was wrong. On the stage stood Pinkie Pie, reared up on her hind legs...
“And to the very highest cloud we'll climb! Forever, our loud shouts musically chime!”
...singing her heart out.
“Oh dear,” Twilight whispered, her voice barely audible through both the singing and the collective gasps and murmurs of the crowd below. She sank a little in her seat. “This... this is bad.”
Yet, neither princess dared to stand and try to stop the scene before them. For all appearances, the rest of the crowd below must have felt the same way, for the sea of statues refused to budge. To their credit, a few stagehands were able to collect their mental facilities enough to attempt at ending the spectacle, but the singer-turned-trapeze-artist was much too agile for even the pegasi among them. After several more failed attempts—some ending with collateral pies to the face—they simply gave up, surrendering the next few numbers to the flying pony above.
“Princess,” Twilight wavered, turning towards Celestia. “Shouldn't we do something to stop this?”
Celestia considered her options for a few moments before she asked, “Twilight Sparkle, do you remember what I told you after your very first Grand Galloping Gala that you attended with your friends?”
“I think so. I remember you saying you were happy we caused—” Twilight stopped, her eyes widening as the gears in her mind turned.
The maniacal smile affixed to Celestia's face widened tenfold as she sat back in her chair. “I have always believed that livening up these monotonous events is for the best. I aim on continuing that philosophy.”
“Just let the suuuuuuun shine down on the land...”
“It's too bad Twi-Twi is a lying party pooper!” Pinkie exclaimed as she hopped down the street.
Celestia looked around to find a familiar street. A few names looked familiar, but none of significance. “I trust that when Twilight says she was tired that she meant it.”
“Psh! Yeah right! She's at the castle right now reading about how to count bits,” Pinkie said.
“Undoubtedly,” Celestia relied. “But do you really think we could convince Twilight to come with us?”
Pinkie turned her head and winked. “I have methods. Proven methods.”
“So do I, but I have found that picking my battles is the proper response to her constant stubbornness. This was not one of those battles.”
“Hmm! Well I think that—” Pinkie stopped and gasped. “We're here!”
She looked up. “I... may I ask why we are going here again?” Celestia asked, looking up at the bright neon lights that wrapped all around the building. The vast majority of the lights were vibrantly colored with the most flamboyant colors of the spectrum. Most were simple lines, outlining the edges of the building, while others were more... creative with their use. Wire caricatures of several ponies in various states of drink consumption—and apparently inebriation—covered the entire face of the building. Add in a few words here or there and there wasn’t a single space left that Celestia thought could have lights placed. Tacky? Probably. Visible from miles around from the air? Definitely. Still, she was thankful none of them depicted any mares doing... other things.
“Because while that opera was alright,” Pinkie explained with a smile, hopping closer and closer to the building, “a place like this won’t ban my entire family name for all eternity from entering after I get up and start singing!”
“True,” she replied, tapping her hoof against her chin. “Why did we ditch our dresses with Twilight anyway?”
“Well duh! We’d look absolutely ridiculous wearing those things here! Most ponies in this place don’t wear anything. Well, except for a necklace or something, so I kept the beads,” she explained, bouncing up and down all the while. She suddenly stopped bouncing, giving Celestia a not-so-subtle wink. “Plus, getting out of those dresses was much more fun than getting into them. Don't cha think?”
If there was a drink in her mouth, Celestia would have spat it out right there and then. If Pinkie realized what she just said, then she showed no sign of it. Instead, she simply hopped around Celestia, a toothy grin undoubtedly on her face. She was only thankful that she had chosen a unicorn for her disguise rather than a pegasus one. Having her wings flared in shock was not something she wanted to do in the middle of the street.
She chose to react as innocently as possible. “I never really thought about it myself.”
“Well think on it, then get back to me!” Pinkie slung a foreleg around Celestia’s shoulders and pulled her forward. Celestia was again made aware that she was currently the same size as her friend. “Until then, it’s time to get this party started!”
The sudden urge to run away really really quickly flashed through her mind, but she brushed it off nearly as soon as it came. “I agree,” she replied. With that, she trailed right behind Pinkie, sticking close to her guide on this curious journey of sorts. Yet, she could not help but to thinking of what would happen if she were to be discovered here. Sure, it was well known that she liked to have fun, but here? Even if she didn't care what the nobility thought of her, there were lines that she shouldn't cross. This was skirting close to many of them. She shook her head. Best to think of the here and now. Of course, in focusing on the here and now, she became well aware of her lack of height, and the view it gave her of Pinkie's backside and the curvature of Pinkie's hips as she—
“Hey Celly,” Pinkie suddenly asked. “Have you ever had the feeling that you were being watched?”
Celestia immediately closed her eyes. “No I have not felt that feeling ever in my life. Let’s just keep walking.”
“My thoughts exactly!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Well, except that we’re already at our seats, so we shouldn’t still be walking… so probably not even close at all to what I was thinking after all. Hmm. Anyway, you sit here, and I’ll be right back!”
Looking around again, Celestia realized that the two had made quite a bit of progress while she was distracted. The neon lights that were shining outside were nowhere to be seen. Instead, the curvature shapes of neon had been replaced with the modern feel of the interior, with flat edges and corners everywhere. The pillars, tables, chairs, and booths were all squared off, creating sharp corners throughout. From under every pillar, a bright neon glow emanated from the floor, casting their green and red glow throughout. Yes, there were candles in the room as well, but they were overpowered by the floor lighting.
That wasn't even getting into the pounding music that was drilling itself into Celestia’s skull. While she could barely hear the main melody, the bass was coming at her from every direction, vibrating the table itself with the beat. It was quite the stark contrast to the music that she was enjoying a few hours ago—both the opera's and Pinkie's. The music there had been... well... the bass was not playing fortissimo when the winds were playing pianissimo. Already she was feeling the headache from doing nothing but listening to this.
Thankfully, Pinkie returned shortly after with a tray gripped firmly in her mouth. On the tray, two tall and skinny glasses were carefully balanced—both square of course—with green liquid inside swishing side to side, nearly spilling out with each of her steps. With careful movements, Pinkie placed the tray onto the table, not spilling a single drop from either of the drinks. Celestia could only look at the pair of drinks that she swore was glowing.
Moving her head closer to the drinks, Celestia asked, “What... what are these?”
“They're a wicked recipe that I came up with a while back, specially requested by little ol' me!” Pinkie giggled, sliding the other closer to Celestia's side of the table. “I call it the Green Gummy Goo.”
She eyed her drink for a few seconds before looking at Pinkie “What makes it green?”
“Oh, It's a combination of a few things, but it has a little bit of pasteurized grass and Midori in it, among of things that are a sacred secret that only the chosen few shall have the honor of knowing.”
“Like the bartender?”
Pinkie nodded. “And not you.”
“I see.” Celestia leaned into the drink, carefully sniffing it. Smelled toxic. “What do you call this again?”
“The Green Gummy Goo!” Pinkie exclaimed, not drinking her brew yet.
“Green Gummy Goo. Hmm.” She looked at it for a few more moments before saying with a quiver, “Why is the drink glowing?”
Pinkie shrugged. “Not sure really. Tried to find out once, but it ended poorly for everypony in the room.”
“Hmm.” She looked at the drink again. “And why is the drink bubbling?”
Pinkie merely wiggled her eyebrows at her. “What? Never seen a drink boil before?”
“Pinkie, the drink is cold. There's ice in it!”
“And that's what makes it great!” Pinkie grinned even wider. Gripping the drink with her forehooves, she brought it up to her lips. “Well? You going to try it?”
Celestia looked back to the glass and watched the bubbles rise and burst at the surface of the drink, spilling light in all directions. Gripping the drink with her magic, she thought about the possible repercussions of inflicting her insides with this liquid. There were few things that Celestia drank and ate in her past that had ended up causing pretty rough results to her—most being considered delicacies in Saddle Arabia—but at least she was pretty aware of what those things could do to her if the results were poor. This was an unknown.
After a few more seconds, she shrugged. I'm sure Luna could make another sun before the world ends or something.
With that, she lifted the concoction to her lips, turned to Pinkie, and smiled. “Bottom's up.”
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Great chapter. More please!
Typical Pinkie
getting the princess drunk 
Sounds like Soho. Or Bourbon Street.
It seems Pinkie knows how to push all the buttons and poor Celestia can't seem to decide if Pinkie's flirting is on purpose or incidental.
Why do I get the feeling that drink is Pinkie's take on the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Also I hope I'm wrong.
I just realized I never replied to these. Huh.
5685595 Nope. Cancelling the story.
5685826 I see her as that friend that wants all the ponies to get drunk, regardless of the appropriateness of the situation.
5687205 They are indeed naked, so I guess you are definitely right in that case.
5687632 31.media.tumblr.com/c7a7c168ebc528e991817a3f46c5bfde/tumblr_inline_mufpa0qlxI1qj836r.gif
5687803 100% serious: pure coincidence. I had to look up what that was. Kinda eerie on how similar they are...