Act II: Suited for Sucess
Friendship Is Magic : Prime by Darkryt Orbinautzn
Act 2
Chapter 5 (Box Set Chapter 11)
Suited For Success
"Eeep." Raf squeaked.
"Uhm...Optimus Prime, I don't mean to sound rude... but what are you doing with Discord?" A Vehicon asked, stepping forward.
The Prime was silent for a minute, trying to figure the best response.
"Being antagonized."
"Um...All right...Well, we're behind schedule, and, well...we'd be willing to let you and your human leave if you'd stay out of our way." The Vehicon offered.
Optimus bowed, "I thank you for your hospitality."
Discord huffed. "Oh no no no. I can't let you off that easy, see. You're a sore loser, as evidenced by the way you tried to stab my face!"
He snapped his talon, and swirls appeared in the center of the Vehicon's visors. They converted their arms to their cannon configurations.
"Rafael!" Optimus yelled, transforming to vehicle mode. Raf quickly climbed inside.
"Fire!" what was presumably the head Vehicon ordered. Purple blaster fire chased after the Autobot Leader as he gunned his way out.
"DRILL!" Raf shouted. There was indeed a drill-tank being piloted into a direct crash-course with Optimus.
Optimus rose his front up and leaped over the drill-tank in a movie-esque display of gymnastics and driving skills. The drill's driver cursed his luck.
A shot hit Optimus' side and sent him skidding out of control, but he regained it before an advantage could be pressed. The Prime smashed through a barricade and finally exited the cave out into an open desert road.
Raf looked at Optimus rear-view mirror. "Optimus...they're chasing!"
Optimus' Ion Blaster popped out of the side of his hood, rotated on it's axis and shot the pursuing Vehicons, dispatching them. Optimus swerved to overcome a checkered slope. Raf gawked at the landscape layout with upside mountains, blue and pink checkered dirt, skyscraper sized card houses and all sorts other weird phenomena.
"Why's everything all twisted and weirdly colored?"
"I believe it is Discord's power at work."
"But...why would he do all this?"
"I do not know his motivations, but given that he lured us to that cave under the pretense of an alien game, drained our fellows of their color, as well as teleported us into the heart of a Decepticon mining encampment, it seems clear to me that he is, in fact, a villain."
Raf looked back through the window. "I think we lost them..."
"Good." Optimus noted, dodging a lightning bolt from a cotton-candy cloud. "That means we can focus on finding Discord and putting a stop to this." A beeping noise came from Optimus' controls. "Ratchet, this is Optimus Prime, do you copy?"
Ratchet's voice came in through the comm.
"Coming in loud and clear, Prime! What's got your pipes out of tune?"
"Uh...Ratchet?" Raf questioned.
"It would appear that whatever Discord has done to the others, he has also done to Ratchet. Regardless, we need a GroundBridge." Optimus answered.
"One Ground-up Bridge, coming right atcha, daddy-o!"
The signature green portal materialized in before them, and they went through.
"Arcee..." Jack grunted as Arcee ran a comb through his head. "This isn't fun."
"Mmmh, all right." The bike-bot noted, drawing the comb back and crossing her arms. "Go do something fun, as long I can stay close to you."
Jack got up off his the crate Arcee had re-purposed as a chair and ran over to the human dwelling section, "Hey Miko! You wanna play Excitecar with me?"
Miko looked up from the couch cautiously. "Do...do I have permission?" she whimpered.
"You have mine!"
"Okay..."
Jack booted up the system and handed Miko a controller, which she took very cautiously.
Ratchet danced in place by the terminal control. Agent Fowler was trying to flamenco with June, who giggled at the attention.
Bumblebee and Bulkhead were hiding their corners sulking.
Optimus pulled up into the room, letting Raf before transforming into his robot mode.
"Autobots, we have a situation."
The Prime was ignored.
"Autobots, we have a situation." Optimus Prime repeated, slightly sterner.
The ignoring continued.
"...Why won't they respond to me?" Optimus pondered out loud.
A flash of white light, and Discord was floating in the room again.
"Maybe it's because you're stone-plum boring?" The Dracoequus sneered.
"You! You put right inside a Decepticon-filled cave! Graaaah!" Raf lunged forward the Dracoequus, only to fall down face-first.
"Discord." Optimus turned to him, his voice stern. "Why you willfully put us in harm's way?"
"Well, seeing as you were about to STAB ME..." Discord replied.
"You weren't answering my questions...or my demands."
Discord examined his nails. "Answers? Answers? What use have I, a Spirit of Disharmony, of Answers? Oh, I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention that?"
Optimus narrowed his eyes and grimaced. "Yes...Yes you did forget to mention that."
"Oh, sorry. I guessed that would've cleared a lotta things up, huh?" Discord said with a callous smile. Optimus continued to leer.
"If you are the Equestrian Spirit of Disharmony, why come to Earth?"
Discord signed, "Oh, you're so very serious, aren't you? You know you remind of? Celestia, always with the grimness and the boring and 'That's a pony, Discord, not a cotton ball'. Fine, I'll tell you." Discord coiled himself vertically around Optimus' chest and rose to put them both face-to-face. "See, I used to rule Equestria until Boring Celestia and Dull Luna got together used these magic artifacts called the 'Elements of Harmony' on me, turning me to stone for 1000 years."
"That long, hmm?" Optimus inquired with disinterest.
"Yes that long! The worst part, it was supposed to be Foreveeer! Thankfully for me, those two didn't count the Elements of Harmony changing hooves after a thousand years. The Elements took on new bearings, making all the spells cast by their old ones with them weaken, allowing me to break out and start my reign anew!" He said all this bombastically.
"Oh but Fate is a fickle mistress!" he emphasized this but flicking the radio antennae on Optimus' head, which caused the Autobot Leader to wince. "My renewed reign only lasted so long! I thought I had successfully broken the Element's new bearers to the point that they wouldn't be able to stand against me, but I did not and they returned me to me stone prison!"
"Are you sure that's how it happened, and not that these 'bearers' instead...'fixed' themselves?" Optimus inquired with a raised eyebrow.
"HOWEVER!" Discord announced, disregarding Optimus' inquiries, "Recently, a certain silver robot with a cannon on his arm came to Equestria and started causing all kinds of ponyfeathers, giving me a turbo-charge that let me bust out again! I decided that, rather then trying to take Equestria back again, since that worked so well the last time I tried it, to hitch a ride with the 'Cons when they bailed."
"And now you are attempting to bring your candy covered chaos to Earth." Optimus concluded.
"Ring-a-ding-dinga-ding! Give the 'bot a candy bar, we have a winner! Nice alliteration, B.T.W." Discord cheered.
"Of course," Optimus began, "by ...'greying' my men and these humans, you have removed the only things that could keep you from doing so."
"Eeeeyup!" Discord said, clicking his claws together and smiling evilly.
"Very well...But know this, Discord. I, as an Autobot and a Prime, am sworn to defend life and protect the innocent. I will remove your chaos from Earth, even I must sacrifice my spark to do so."
Discord looked Optimus over coyly, "Oh, I don't think so. After you spend some time with your new-and-improved Autobots...You'll join them. Oh yes. I broke Twilight Sparkle, I can break you." on that ominous last note, he teleported out.
Optimus looked down dejectedly, wondering how to get out of this situation "He must be stopped..."
"Optimus?" Raf spoke up, "You OK?"
Optimus looked at Raf. "I'm fine, just troubled...Discord seem confident to distressing levels."
"Um..." Raf looked over at the grey Autobots and humans. "Perhaps...I can watch over them while you go think?"
"An excellent idea, Rafael." Optimus saluted and pointed at him as he left, "I'm counting on you."
Raf saluted back then looked over the grey persons now under his watch.
Bumblebee and Bulkhead had engaged in a intense grappling match.
Beep- Beep-Beeep-Beeep-Ehhhhhhek-wheeeeeeooo-clic-clack-eeeee!
"What did you say about my motherboard?" Bulkhead snarled and lifted the smaller Autobot up, throwing him across the room.
Raf rubbed his temples. This would be difficult.
Optimus Prime's footsteps echoed across the hall of the Autobot Outpost. The Autobot Leader's head was tilted in thought.
Mmm...Spirit of Disharmony...Elements of Harmony...Disharmony and Chaos...Let's see...Perhaps the Matrix?...No. Too risky. I remember what happened the last time.
Optimus leaned against the wall, stretching his arm out for support and putting his spare hand to his chin. He snapped his fingers as the best course of action became clear to him.
Megatron! He clearly has experience with Discord. Perhaps he can offer guidance.
Optimus resolved to ignore the obvious wrongness with that last statement. Transforming into his truck mode, he sped out of the Autobot base and into the once-open desert that was now a junkyard's worth of fused-together candy canes.
After a few hours' worth of driving, Optimus was at a comfortable distance away from the Autobot Base that he felt he could risk contact with Megatron. Beeps erupted from his control panel.
"...Optimus. I did not expect you to call me on this frequency." Megatron's voice bounded off Optimus' sound equipment.
"Megatron, I require more information about Discord." Optimus countered, quick and to the point.
"Ah, information about Discord...well, I don't know much, but I do know that a pony called 'Celestia' fought him off and turned him to stone a eon ago."
"I already know that Megatron! I need information as to how I can defeat him and keep the Earth from his tyranny!"
"I'm afraid I haven't any, Optimus Prime."
There was a dial tone from Optimus' panels.
Optimus took in a deep breath and let out a depressed sign. "I see that I must take an alternative approach." He resumed driving, careful not to knock any of the various large card castles over.
Megatron removed his finger from the radio communication button and turned towards his Decepticons. "It would seem that Discord has gotten significantly more personal in his troubling of Optimus Prime...an interesting development, no doubt."
Airachnid observed the scan results on Soundwave's face-screen with a worried look on her face. "Lord Megatron, it would seem that Discord's influence on the Earth is at an all-time high."
Megatron scoffed. "So?"
"At the rate it's going, I believe that he may very well have plans to...conquer Earth."
Megatron and Airachnid exchanged looks. A moment of silence ensued, followed by Megatron laughing and rubbing his claws together.
"AHHAHAHAHA! IF he does so...WHEN he does so, I will be there. Ready and eager to remove his crown from his head. Brutally, if possible."
Raf tugged on the bottom of June's shirt. "Miss Darby? I don't think jumping off the rail like that is a good idea."
"Oh pish-posh! If not off here, where?" The slightly-deranged nurse responded.
"...Off a trampoline?"
"Ooooo!" June squealed, "That is a WONDROUS idea, Raf! Fowler, my sweet, to me!"
Fowler did indeed come over like a loyal (or rather, love-struck) hound, picking up June up in his arms. "Yes dear?"
"Take me to the nearest trampoline!"
"Your wish is my command." Fowler dashed away with June in his arms, presumably to go find a trampoline.
Raf signed and rubbed his head. He scanned the room over, thankful that, while 'greyed', Ratchet had had the frame of mind to restrain Bumblebee and Bulkhead before they wrecked something. Though Raf questioned the magnetic braces that held the two to the walls. He was also thankful that Jack and Miko merely continued to play their game with each other.
Ratchet observed the geothermal scans on the computer, though in his 'greyed' state, he hadn't the foggiest of their meaning.
"Yo, Raf-man! These funky mathamathics mean something important?" The medic inquired.
Raf covered his ears at the sound of a volcano filled with strawberry milk erupting penetrated the Base's halls. "Nothing we don't already know." He cast an accusing look towards Discord, who was smirking at something. "What are you so happy about?"
Discord merely pointed. Raf turned back to see that Jack had started dancing on the human coffee table. He rushed up the stairs of the platform with his arms out "No, Jack! That's not safe!"
"Ahahahaha!" Discord laughed, wiping a mock-tear from his eye. "You're not quite as good the ponies, but it is sooo fun to watch you run place to place like that!"
Ratchet cast an aside glance towards the two 'Bots affixed to the walls. Though both were spewing insults at each other, they did not seem to be wiggling loose easily.
"So, Raf-man, you mind me busting on outta here to practice a few new moves?"
Raf let Arcee scoop Jack back up into her overbearing embrace and looked at Ratchet with a confused expression.
"Uhhh..."
"He means he wants to go out and dance." Discord informed him.
"Yeah, sure! Just don't go too far. I can handle things here."
Ratchet thanked him and left the room. Discord, with a curious expression on his face, slithered through mid-air after him.
Raf looked to see Jack futilely gnawing on Arcee's fingers in a effort to escape.
"...I think."
Ratchet positioned himself in the hallway where he thought he wouldn't hurt anybody and proceeded to dance like something out of a disco documentary, punctuating his moves with with incredible hammy yells.
"Hah! Hoo! Hooaaah!"
"Ratchet?"
The medic whipped around to see Discord floating before him. "Oh hey, Mix 'n' Match! What's bogeying down yer pipe?"
"Well, I was wondering about Optimus Prime..." The Dracoequus said innocently,
"Oh? What about him?"
"Well, I've looked through your records and personnel files to see what could be used to brea- I mean, persuade you Autobots...t-to my way of thinking, of course." Discord caught himself mid-sentence multiple times.
"Uh-huh... and?"
"Well, I didn't find anything about Optimus' having any weak spots or issues..."
"Oh, that. Yeah. He doesn't have any weaknesses in him."
Discord's eyebrows shot up in alarm. "No weaknesses?"
"Yeah," Ratchet replied, doing a 'Hooooo!' before continuing, "Some of us are a bit weak, some of us are bit slow...not Optimus. He's well-rounded all-around."
"Oooooh! So no physical weaknesses?" Discord inquired, a touch of relief in his voice.
"Nope!" Ratchet did a few more moves, which prompted Discord to float away, the conversation over.
"However..."
Discord rotated his head around back to the medic.
"Optimus has a soft spot for humans. If you want to make him go after with a burning heck-rage, then hurting a human is a good way to do it." Ratchet explained.
Discord scratched his chin. "Soft spot for humans, eh?...I can work with that."
The excruciatingly loud blare of a truck's horn filled the room, identifying Optimus as having returned to the premises.
Discord zoomed back to the main control room, where he presumed Optimus to be. The Prime noticed Discord and made an displeased noise.
"Discord...I thought we would've made it clear that you are no longer welcome within the confines of our compound."
"Eh, so? I've never held much respect for any authority except my own."
Optimus converted his arms to their blaster configurations.
"Again with the weapons! Point those things somewhere else. I have an offer."
"An offer?" Optimus inquired with a raised brow.
"An offer?" Raf repeated.
Bulkhead, Bumblebee, Arcee, Jack and Miko made no reply.
"Yes, Optimus Prime. An offer. I believe you remain on Earth to keep the humans from falling to the Decepticons, yes?" Discord reiterated.
"That much is true." Optimus answered warily.
"Well, would you get off Earth if someone else was protecting it?"
"Such as?"
"Me!"
Optimus regarded the Dracoequus as though he was crazy.
"Look, I made your men go all wonky. I make the skies and the volcanoes spew chocolate. I warp reality. You think I can't handle the Decepticons with that kind of power?"
Optimus turned away from Discord. "I suppose you have a point."
Discord smirked. "If I promise I will use my powers to protect the humans to the fullest extent from the Decepticons AND any other non-human threat, would you let me have free reign over them?"
Raf's eyes widened. "WHAT?"
Optimus looked at Discord with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Mmmh..."
"Look, I've heard about the...'incident' involving Little Raf and June's attempted..excursion of the kids. Wouldn't you want to keep that kind of thing from happening again? Ever again?"
"Optimus, don't listen to him!" Raf cried out.
Optimus looked to Raf, then back to Discord. "So...you would take over the humans, but keep them safe from the Decepticons?"
"Yes."
"Optimus, no!" Raf exclaimed. But Discord had found a chink in Optimus' mental armor, and his magic was slowly flowing into the Prime, causing Raf's words to be drowned out.
"Very well, Discord. I pass the responsibility of protecting the Earth and it's denizens to you." Optimus saluted and left the room, his colors fading to grey as he did so.
Raf fell to his knees. "Optimus..."
Optimus briefly glanced over his shoulder to look at Raf. "Rafael, why don't you go home and play with your family?...Your human family." He resumed walking.
"But...you're my family, too." Raf whimpered.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I DID IT! I WON!" Discord laughed.
"Not yet you haven't!"
Discord looked at Raf curiously. "Oh?"
"You may have broke Optimus, but I'll fight you where he left off! I swear!" Raf shouted, jumping up and down in rage.
Discord floated down and put his face in Raf's, the boy backed away instinctively at the large dragon-like snout so close to him.
"You may not have noticed, Little Raf, that I said I'd protect you and your fellow humans from the Decepticons and 'other extraterrestrial threats'. I never said that I wouldn't hurt them myself."
Raf grimaced at the implication Discord was making. Discord drew himself away from Raf and resumed his full height. "Buuuut...I do need someone in their right mind to play with. You know, keep me on my game and feeling sharp. On that note..." Discord swooped Raf up in his claws. "Let's see what wondrous chaos can be wreaked on Jasper, hmmm?" Discord teleported out of the base with Raf in tow.
Raf found himself in the middle of a street and gawked at the transformations Discord had made, with houses being made of molten rock, vending machines spitting out candy bars like machine guns, and cars with frog legs jumping about. Raf thought he also might've seen a bus whose tires had been replaced by turtle flippers.
Raf looked at Discord with grim determination. "You won't get away with this! I'll stop you, somehow! I don't know how, but somehow!"
Discord smirked at Raf with bemusement and began walking away. "Come to your schoolyard when you've figured it out! I'll be waaaaitiiing!" He ended his speech in sing-song and teleported out.
Raf dodged a loose a flying candy bar in his direction and pounded his fist. "I need my laptop!"
A strange idea struck the child.
"Hey Discord! I don't know if you can hear me...but if you can, I need my laptop and left back it the the Base!" he yelled. A flash of white light, and Raf's laptop floated in mid-air for him to grab at his leisure. "Excellent!"
"Hyuh! Nya!" Breakdown screamed, hiding behind whatever piece of furniture he could to get away from the creeping Airachnid.
"Come here, Baby. Mama Airachnid won't hurt you." The spider-bot said comfortingly, making a 'come hither' gesture with her fingers.
Megatron walked by the open doorway and peered in. "Airachnid! Breakdown! What are you doing?...and why are you both grey?"
Breakdown and Airachnid turned slightly to address Megatron.
"I'm only trying to comfort my Baby Breakdown." Airachnid answered.
"And I'M trying to get away from the creepy crawly!" Breakdown exclaimed.
Airachnid shifted to her two-legged mode. "Better?"
Breakdown edged out slightly from his hiding spot. "A little..."
"Yes, Yes, That's it. Come here. Come to mama." Airachnid encouraged.
Breakdown slowly walked over to Airachnid.
"You two still haven't explained why you're grey."
"We 'unno." Breakdown answered, lifting Airachnid onto his large shoulder. Airachnid started patting Breakdown's head and began singing.
That's it, my dear.
Don't worry, don't fret,
Mommy's here.
You'll see that it's true,
Families require twooo...
Megatron made a disgusted noise and left the room. Walking down the hallway, he came across a trio Vehicons, who were also grey and seemed rather casual in his presence. The Decepticon Lord resolved to visit the Decepticons' medic.
"Knock Out! Do you know anything about the...'greyness' that has begun to befall our troops?"
Knock Out turned from his tablet to Megatron, showing he also been 'infected' with the 'greyness'. "No, Lord Megatron. Sorry."
Megatron grumbled. At this rate, it seemed he was the only one unaffected.
"Say, have you cleaned your Fusion Cannon recently?"
Megatron glared angrily at Knock Out. "Yes... I always keep my weapons in the finest condition."
"OK, Good! A clogged Cannon is a recipe for disaster."
Megatron's glare turned into a confused one. "What."
"Oh! Also! You've lubricated your joints recently? Brushed your fangs?"
"...I will be leaving you now, Doctor." Megatron proceeded to stomp away from the medic's door.
"As your doctor, it's natural for me to be concerned with your health!" Knock Out called.
Megatron ignored his shouts and pressed on, intent on finding Soundwave. He did just that soon enough, finding the Communications Officer dancing with some Vehicons on the ship's control bridge. Much to Megatron's displeasure, Soundwave had also been 'greyed'.
"Soundwave. I require your assistance."
Soundwave continued dancing.
"Soundwave..." Megatron growled in a low voice.
Soundwave continued dancing, cheered on by the Vehicons.
"Soundwave!"
The Vehicons got the heck out of dodge and Soundwave rushed to bow to his lord.
"Master, I am so sorry." Soundwave's heavily-processed voice said with regret.
Megatron gasped. "You...you spoke. You haven't spoke since we first came to Earth."
Soundwave scratched his chin, "Yes. That is true. Regardless, I presume you wish to know the cause of the Decepticons recent...desaturation in color?"
"You know me so well, Soundwave." Megatron answered.
"Indeed I do, Lord Megatron. Please be patient for a moment." Soundwave stood up, beeps and dial tones emitting from his head. "Oh dear..."
"What? What is it, Soundwave?"
"It would seem that Discord has proven more a threat then we first thought. All evidence indicates that the desaturation is related to his powers spreading across the surface of the Earth."
"Continue."
"When desaturated, it seems one is extra-vulnerable to whatever Discord's power projects, and acts as not themselves."
Megatron narrowed his eyes. "Wouldn't that mean you would not be loyal to me...and by extension, mean you would take steps to eradicate me? How do I know that you're not lying to me?...or, is that what you WANT me to think in order to-"
"Lord Megatron, please. You're overthinking things. Even tainted by Discord, I will be loyal to you...always and forever."
Megatron gaped for a moment.
"S-Soundwave...I-I'm touched."
They shared a tender, quiet moment.
"...Regardless." Megatron stated, recovering from his moment of weakness. "If this is Discord's doing, then seems I will be eradicating him sooner then I thought. Come, Soundwave! There is work to be done."
Jasper's residence carried on with their daily lives, with the odd adjustments here and there Discord had made.
The bundle of people walking on the sidewalk ignored Raf. stationed by the sidewalk with his laptop on his...well, lap, banged his head against the keyboard. So far, all his searches had yielded nothing.
'How to defeat a Dracoequus', Nothing!
'How to defeat a Spirit of Disharmony', Nothing!
'How to defeat a part-mule, part-eagle, part-lizard, part-bat, part-lion, part-snake'...Well, this one got a hit on a RPG discussion forum, but Raf was pretty sure 'cast 'Thunder-Flare-Frostbolt' didn't apply in this situation.
The boy was interrupted from further despairing by the sound of jet engines. He looked up to see two familiar jets, one thin and blue, the other bulky, alien and silver.
"No!...Not them! NOT NOW!" Raf protested.
"Soundwave, are you sure this is wise?"
"Rest assured, Lord Megatron. In their decolored states, the humans will write us off as more of Discord's madness."
"Aaah...excellent!"
The two jets transformed into their robot modes, stomp-landing onto the Jasper concrete below. Megatron scanned around for signs of Discord.
Raf stiffened up, hoping against hope that the Decepticons wouldn't notice him.
Soundwave lightly tapped Megatron's shoulder and pointed. "Lord Megatron, a human who has retained his color...and I believe you will find him familiar."
Megatron adjusted his neck to see who Soundwave was pointing at. "Rafael! Imagine running into you like this!"
Raf immediately got up and began running, dropping his laptop in the process and pushing aside a dog who was walking his owner.
"Hey buddy! Watch where you're going!" The dog cursed at him, but Raf ignored it.
Megatron and Soundwave began pursuit, walking at a mocking leisurely pace towards the fleeing child.
A Lamborghini with overly-long frog legs leaped forward, oblivious to the Decepticon Lord smack-dab in its trajectory. Said Lord grabbed the car mid-leap, spun it around and hurled it off into the distance.
Raf kept running. Two Decepticons behind, and a hundred humans around him. Yet, not a single one of those humans could help him, no matter how much he begged or screamed.
A vending machine shot some chip bags at Megatron, covering his collar with the powder after the bags exploded on him. Soundwave spouted his tentacles and used them to dissemble the machine for its insolence.
Raf kept running. He saw a manhole cover. A manhole cover, that's perfect! He could climb inside and the 'Cons wouldn't be able to get him, even with Soundwave's tentacles!
He tripped over a candy piece and his glasses fell off. He groped around for them, to no avail, only getting fudge concrete all over his hand. He felt something take him off-balance, but he continued trying to grip his glasses.
"Why are you doing that flailing around?" A dark voice questioned.
"It's my glasses! I can't see without them!"
"Mmm...Soundwave?"
Soundwave used his tentacle to carefully pick Raf's glasses off the ground and cleaned them of their fudgy spill. With precision, he put them back on the boy's face.
"Thank you, sir!" Raf said. It took him a moment to realize that Megatron was holding up by the scruff of his collar.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
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Aww Soundwave and Megatron are so sweet