En Taro, Equestria

by Saacsa

The Calm

I parted the tent flaps to see two small foals in the forearms of that carapaced pony from earlier. Luna looked at me and split her face with a smile.

“Ah, the pranksters have arrived just in time for the happy reunion.” She giggled lightly. The foals turned to look at us, and their eyes sparked with interest.

“Whoa!” The male exclaimed, “These guys are different from the other ones! They look like hairless monkeys!”

“Wow, you’re right they do!” The little bitc-... girl responded. I saw Ty give Luna an excruciatingly flat look.

“I’ll let that one slide, kids.” I crossed my arms, and every single thing in that room went quiet. “What?” I was genuinely confused as to what I said.

“Thomas, can I speak with you outside for a moment.” Luna ruffled her feathers.

“Sure?” I smiled uncomfortably.

“Looks like you’re the one-” Ty was roughly silenced by Charlie’s hoof on the back of his skull. “Ouch! What the hell Charlie?!” He exclaimed.

“Hush. He’s about to find out what he did wrong.” She smirked as everybody else glared me out of the tent. Now, if anyone else had said that, it wouldn’t have bothered me. But I believed I had just fucked up. As we crossed the barrier of the tent, Luna whipped around on me.

“I know it seemed insulting when they called you a monkey, but it’s twice as insulting to be called baby goat meat!” She shouted, bringing the ever-embarrassing stares back to the forefront of my mind. Oh, that makes sense. Is that what ‘kids’ means in this world?

“What?! I called them kids, not mutton. Where I’m from, kids means the same thing as filly or colt would for you! It’s just gender neutral!” I defended erratically.

“Tom,” Luna rubbed the bridge of her muzzle, “Mutton is adult lamb meat. I suggest you apologize either way, clear things up a bit?”

“Ya know, that’s a good idea. I’d rather them not think me to be that insultive.” I pulled the tent-flap open, and was greeted by a very angry, very glowey pair of eyes staring down a snout at me. I widened my eyes and froze in place.

“Explain why you spoke to my foals that way.” He commanded. I felt true, genuine fear crawl up my spine, igniting my built-in ‘Get the fuck outta here’ system. I shook my head, then brought my eyes up to meet his with an apologetic look. Looking back, it was really the only thing I could’ve done to save my life. Without hindsight, however, I did it because I really did want to apologize.

“I’m sorry, where I come from ‘kids’ is a word to describe somebody's young offspring. It’s a non-offensive, gender-neutral term to me. I apologize for what I said regardless.” I bowed my head.

“Don’t look so defeated, human.” Stone Kiss softened his features, smiling at me, “You didn’t know what it meant to us.” He turned that smile right around and back upside down, “Apologize to the foals.”

Without missing a beat, I turned and slammed my upperbody into a bow facing the children.

“Gomen'nasai!” And I stayed there.

“Nerd.” I heard Ty state lamely, as Charlie giggled softly.

“That’s how we say sorry.” She chimed in.

“Don’t lie to the children, Charlie.” Ty shook his head softly, and took another smack from Charlie.

“Well, in any case, I’m glad you two are okay.” She smiled softly at the foals in the room before turning to the Hybrid father, “Stone Kiss, I don’t want to open fresh wounds. If we’re all in this together, I’d like to know how you became what you are. I won't ask you to do it now, but whenever you feel like you can talk about it again, I’m always ready to listen.”

“I appreciate it, friend. I will tell you when the other members of our war are here, I’ll have some time to cope with my words then. For now, I’d like to spend some time with my foals. Tomorrow, maybe we’ll all have more answers.” He smiled softly, embracing his two foals.

“Maybe so, it would be a fantastic thing.” Celestia spoke with a smile.

“Goodnight, everyone.” I smiled towards the foals, “Good to meet you two. Sorry, again, for earlier.”

“It’s okay, monkey.” The boy smiled.

“Yeah, we forgive you.” The girl giggled lightly.

“Too. Cute.” I said behind gritted teeth. Man I really don’t like kids. Or foals, as the politically correct term is. As we exited the tent, Luna turned towards us.

“I'll lead you three towards your tent.” She said before turning towards the right and continuing through the encampment. On our way, I saw crying foals clinging to the mothers. I saw the silent, haunted faces of once brave stallions exposed to the horrors of this alien force. I saw death, dismemberment, and despair all across the camp. What I saw was more than that though, it was the cause behind it all. War. The pink demon was right. It was here, in all its glory, and all its horror, it had indeed befallen this hapless race, and it was going to be a great and terrible one.

"So, what happened to that, 'Stone Kiss', was it?" Charlie asked, looking towards Luna.

"The Zerg infested him. I am convinced he is not under their thrall, but I know not why." She shook her head.

"Are you sure letting him roam free is a good idea?" I asked, getting a sigh back from the Lunar Princess.

"No, but I am sure he could easily kill any guards I leave with him. Not that he would if he's still himself, but he has become immensely powerful. He himself may not even realize it yet." Ty and I shared a glance.

"Well," Luna pointed to a nondescript tent, "That's it, make yourselves comfortable and get some rest. It may be your last chance to for some time." She turned and took to the skies, leaving us in front of the rather average tent.

"And then there were three." Ty smirked.

"Yeah," I sighed, the events of the past two days finally catching up with me. Has it really only been two days? Fuck, man. "Let's follow the ladys' order, huh?" I strode into the tent, and froze in my tracks. The inside of the tent was complete with a living room that had two couches, a fireplace, and what looked like an absolute dinosaur of a computer. There were two separate rooms, a kitchen, a dining room, and a whole fucking upstairs. My entire mood did a 180, and I was soon skipping my way out of the tent with a massive smile plastered on my face. I caught Charlie's smirk, and Ty's raised eyebrow in my vision, "It's bigger on the inside~!" I sing-songed. Ty cocked his other eyebrow, managing to look somewhat surprised.

"You would say that, nerd." Charlie chuckled and pushed past me, into the newly dubbed TARDTENT... Uh, maybe I'll stick with TARDIS.

"I gotta see this shit." Ty soon followed her, and I couldn't just let them go alone. The inside of our new temporary home graced my visage once more. Rather, it would have, if Ty wasn't stopped right in front of the door. Me bumping into his back shocked him out of his revere.

"Bro... It's... It's..." He stuttered out.

"Yeah, man. It sure is-"

"Smaller on the outside." I gave him a swift Charlie. Speaking of... I scanned the living room and connected kitchen, to find her pressing the computers power button. If that thing can even be called a computer.

"Charlie, why aren't you absolutely amazed by this?" She turned towards me with a little giggle.

"The girls found me around White Tail Woods while they were camping. Every single tent in Equestria comes standard with a dimensional warp enchantment." She explained as she finished the computers boot up sequence. She pulled up a game with a few clicks, and I walked over to examine it.

"That's pretty cool. Ponies: 1. White People: 0." Ty joked, earning chuckles from the both of us. I took a closer look at the screen before me, and saw a picture of three beings. One super teched out pony, one mutated pony that reminded me of Stone Kiss, and a bipedal alien with only eyes upon its face. The words Ponycraft were splayed across the top.

"So, this is the game that Luna made." I confirmed, getting a nod from Charlie. "Well, to be honest, I was unconscious a couple of hours ago. I'm not that tired, so get that thing started. I'll whip up some dinner, and we can see what we've got in store."

"My blood got drained, I'm going to bed." Ty sighed, the days events finally catching up to him.

"Alright man, I'll put some in the fridge for ya, and take some notes." I waved him on.

"And you ARE going to read those notes tomorrow, got it?" Charlie shot him a severe look.

"Yeah, yeah, mom. I got it." He yawned, working his way over to one of the rooms in the corner. He turned the knob, and I walked over to the kitchen. As he clicked the door shut, I started the stoves eye. I grabbed a pan, and tossed a little oil in it. Ty grumbled something inaudible and walked right back out of the room.

"There's the bathroom, if y'all need it." He muttered something about 50/50, and proceeded to the other room. I laughed a little, and shook my head as I walked over to the fridge. Imagine my surprise, as I find meat inside when I opened it.

"Uh, Charlie..?" I questioned.

"What's the matter? Forget how to cook?" She quipped a little too quickly.

"As if. I just don't know if I'm gonna be cooking one of your friends or not." That got her attention as she trotted over. She rolled her eyes upon seeing the fresh meat.

"Why would I be friends with a chicken, dude? That's Fluttershy's thing." She scoffed, turning to walk back to the computer.

"So this thing couldn't talk?" I questioned again, "Also, aren't you a herbivore now?" She turned and flashed some kanines that I had somehow missed.

"Zeratul would be castrated the moment I saw him, and I think he knew that." She cocked her head in thought for a moment, "Provided he has a dick in the first place."

"Oh... So, could the chick-"

"No! The chickens can't talk here, man!" She fumed, "You really think it'd be sitting in a fridge if it talked?"

"I mean I've seen weirder in the past couple of days sooooo..." When she realized I was just fucking with her, she turned her nose and went back to doing something actually important. I decided it was about time to do the same, and started whipping up some pan-seared chicken with some mashed potatoes. Loaded, minus bacon, cause we weren't gods or anything.

I finished up the meal and called for Charlie. As she walked in, I turned to her and held up a banana. By the way her face fell as I began speaking, she already knew where this was going. "You might wanna add this, or you'll get a Charlie Hor-" I caught some mashed potatoes in my mouth. And by some, I mean she threw a fuckin' snowball of it with magic. Her triumphant smirk stayed on her face as she made her plate. I finished off the offending starch that covered half my face, and made my own plate. A La Carte.

"Not gonna eat any mashe-" Aaaand, drumstick to the mouth. After a few seconds of gnawing the poultry from the bone, she took it out of her mouth.

"How'd my cock taste?" I teased before she could respond, getting her to shove the rest of the bone in my mouth.

"You tell me, jackass." She giggled, trotting back to the computer.

"It's a little tangy." I grinned and joined her, food in one hand, and a notepad in the other. That's how we spent the rest of that night before all hell broke loose, Charlie playing a game and me taking notes. We made quips, and snacked on dinner until the sun rose.

~~~

Deep within the ground of the frozen wasteland, a humming hive thrived. It's chitinous purple plating was a tell tale sign to every spacefaring race amist the cosmos. A sign that no other life form on that planet would survive. Upon her marrow filled throne, Kerrigan tapped her index claw as a multilegged abomination slithered from a tunnel below the room.

"My queen. Have encountered problem with equine mutation. Unfit for Swarm adaptation. Too much like Protoss strains tested in past. Recommend immediate abandonment of planet. Waste of resources. However, two prime specimens are required, unharmed. Both Alicorn, both posses great potential." It's deep voice managed to click as it tapped it's spindly claws.

"Abathur, don't tell me your scared of the little ponies? Worry not. They may be linked to the Protoss, but they're nowhere near that level." She leaned back in her throne, "Besides, even if they were, we would still crush them. They're prey animals, and they play their part rather well." She remembered her slaughter of the crystal city, and how they all would flee before the might of her swarm, save for the two Alicorns. "I remember how you spared those equines, I will not let them be harmed if it can be helped.

"Thank you, my queen. What of the two Terrans?" The creature, Abathur, asked.

"Let them be," She scoffed, "They are nothing. That pony we mutated, however, he is rather interesting." The corners of her lips lifted to a cruel smirk. "Start morphing the larva, I want to erase that domed base."

~~~

Blueblood was many things. A gentleman, a scholar, a master of arts and crafts, and most recently, he was alone.

Or so he wished.

In his current state, shambling through the bowels of this fetid jungle, his leg caught on a thorn. It tore a bloody gash across his once pristine coat, garnering a curse from him.

"Oh, blast that damnable monkey straight to Tartarus!" He spat, stomping his hoof in the muck.

"Damnable..?" A playful voice danced across his ears, but it was not the one he normally recognized as the master of chaos'. A cold chill ran down his spine as he saw twin glowing eyes, staring at him from beyond a nearby bush. Their ominous red light soon blinked and seemed to disappear. The distinct sound of a monkey laughing began to echo off the trees, and the voice spoke again, "Little prince, so far from home. What shall you do now?" It echoed.

"When you're stuck," Blueblood's pupils shrank as he felt his hooves begin to sink in the mud.

"When you're poisoned," The cut on his leg began to throb, and the panic started to set upon the poor stallion. He tried to rear back, but to no avail. His hooves were too deep.

"When you're all alone." The voice laughed menacingly. Suddenly, a monkeys face materialized in front of Blueblood's horrified visage. It's deep, crimson eyes piercing into the hapless nobles very soul.

"What, will you do then?" It begged the question from the deepest fibers of his being.

"I... I..." Blueblood shook viciously in the muck. Be it a moment of clarity amist the panic filling his body, or an act of Faust herself, he spoke clearly and confidently. "I will apologize."

The monkey was silent, but it's horridly crooked smile soon began to fall. It's eyebrow cocked, and a genuine smile cracked it's face.

"So you will. You will find many horrifying and evil creatures in the Forbidden Jungles," It's eyes changed from red to blue, "but I am not one of them. My name is Abu." It moved back, taking a light bow. "And I, will be your mentor, pony."

~~~

Celestia ticked away the seconds with the clock, much too restless to sleep as she strategized with her sister.

"Sister," The aforementioned princess jogged Celestia back to the present, and away from the droning clock. "It is nearly impossible to plan around the Zerg without the Protoss and Terran here. We need to strengthen our barriers, it's the only way to keep them out and stall for the time being."

"Luna," Celestia cooed softly, draping a wing over her sister. "I love you, more than you'll ever know. Whatever may come our way..." She trailed off, but the Lunar Princess wasn't having any of it.

"No, sister." She pulled away, shaking her head, "We will not fail. I know these beings. I know Zeratul will come, and I know he will help us. Their version of Neighnor will come, and he will help. The Zerg will come, and they will be slaughtered to the last." She smiled triumphantly, then looked to her sister's still downtrodden face. She softened, and nuzzled her sister, "We'll get through this, Celly. I love you too."

Author's Note:

Another chapter, I know I said "expect regular updates in the past", but now I mean it! Stay Brony, my friends.