• Published 14th Jun 2013
  • 1,380 Views, 29 Comments

En Taro, Equestria - Saacsa

A United Earth Directorate Viking pilot is whisked away with his best friend to a new world where plenty of surprises await.

  • ...

The Warning

Stone Kiss… Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Luna asked, getting the infected General to sigh and nod his head. He feared the worst when his foals awoke. Seeing one of the beasts that butchered their mother standing over them would be rather traumatic. Luna had come inside moments ago, silently watching the General smile lovingly at his foals. He pictured Red Blade and himself practicing with wooden swords, then himself and Glass Whisper enjoying ‘tea’ at a small table surrounded by stuffed animals. His pleasant memories were soon destroyed at the sight of an Ultralisk ripping his wife in two. The foals sobbed next to Velvet’s corpse, frozen in fear. In that moment, the stereotypical colt/filly behavior didn’t matter, only the sorrow felt from their mother's passing and the pure terror of the Zerg.

The Hive Mind was a funny thing, it was very complex and equally as clever, but only had one chink. Find the right brainwave frequency and you know everything. Every little bit of thought and command ever issued was stuck in the neural pathways, pathways that were a lot easier to navigate and find when you were infected. Stone kiss could feel every ounce of rage and hate inside that Ultralisk, its Queen demanded the blood of that mare. It's only remorse being that it died before seeing the life fade from her eyes. Stone Kiss vowed that he would do everything he could to defeat the Zerg, and butcher the Queen of Blades. She would die at his hooves, and his alone.

Luna charged her horn and wisps floated down to the foals’ heads. They slowly fluttered their eyes open, groaning lightly as they set up.

“Red, Glass…” Stone kiss cooed lightly, both of the foals rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

“Daddy?” Glass whispered, turning around and locking eyes with the infected stallion. Her scream ripped through the entire camp.


I awoke again in the rocky place of Zeratul’s mind.

“So, Zeratul, there has to be something important going on if you brought me here.” I stated offhandedly.

“Indeed there is.” He said, a large monitor appearing in the room. A truly massive ship in a vaguely anchor-esque shape plunged through space, stars whipping by it at the speed of light. “This is the Hyperion. A Terran Battlecruiser, perhaps the most dangerous of its kind, captained by James Raynor, a friend. It will arrive here shortly after I do, and bring with it the technology to give the ponies a fighting chance.” The picture then shifted to three smaller Battlecruisers, ones with red decals. “Unfortunately, they are being trailed by a trio of Dominion Battlecruisers, led by their Emperor. They seek to destroy Raynor and the Queen of Blades, and will inevitably enslave the Equines. They would use them to try, and of course, fail, to hold back the horde of Zerg. You’ll have three hours to prepare defenses with the Terrans to fend off the Dominion.” Another picture appeared of an alien-like ship, echo images of it fading into space as it moved. “My friend, Talandar, and I shall arrive before any of them. Two hours earlier, to be exact. We have a probe aboard to help strengthen defense against the Zerg while you and James Raynor handle the Dominion.” He finished.

“It sounds like you’ve been planning this for quite some time.” I nodded, my brow crinkling at the news. Those names seem familiar, if only barely.

“Indeed I have. The Dominion were unexpected, I admit, but we can handle them regardless.”

“And if we can’t?”

“Then the Zerg overrun this place and we’ll all see the Void.” He answered without hesitation.

“Alright, I guess we’ll try our damndest.” I crossed my arms, “Now, I have a few questions.”

“I will answer as well as I can.”

“What happened to Charlie back on Earth?”

“A Zergling from an Expeditionary Brood. That reminds me, you must get her to your location. She is an imperative part of the prophecy.”

“Okay. Next question, who are the Xel’Naga?” I asked, apparently catching him off-guard due to his pause.

“The creators of the Universe. And the inevitable destroyers of it. The crafters of everything we were, are, and ever will be. All of history has been predetermined by them. The only way to see into the future is through their will, or prophecies written upon certain stone tablets.” Zeratul explained.

“I was never one for fate, personally. Though, I would prefer if this was the outcome.” I mused with a nod towards the ‘Prophecy Stone’.

“Agreed. Now, on to a very pressing matter. Your condition.” His statement made me shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah, I know. Blueblood ran me through and I’m dying of bloodloss.”

“Indeed, he missed your vitals, if only by a hair.”

“I suppose I should count myself lucky.”

“Not just yet, you lost a considerable amount of blood. You can not hope to function without more.” I could feel Zeratul “shake” his head.

“Never that easy.” I shook my own.

“No. However, your friend shares your blood type.”

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon enough, once he hears the news.”

“I fear not, he dreams as we speak.” I frowned deeply.

“Napping as always.” At the moment of my scoff, a very childlike screech of terror ripped my dreamscape apart.


Ty was awoken by a scream that could only be that of a little girl. He tried to stand, but quickly found that he was bound and gagged, with a rather splitting headache attacking his senses.

Well shit.

“You know…” The sultry voice from earlier made itself known, “You hit me fairly hard. My sister here had to…” She pressed her lips uncomfortably close to his ear, her breath caressing his genitals in a way his uncle just couldn’t. “Repay the favor.”

“Yes. I did.” Another voice jumped in, furthering his worry. Another hoof curled over his shoulder and the new voice spoke.

“What do you think, Shiver, who gets first go?” One stepped in front of him, revealing a Bat Pony laced up in a corset, black and red socks going all the way up to her flanks. She was giving him the bedroom eyes, her hoof trailing his naked thigh up-

-NAKED?! NOPE! He suddenly jerked his body to the side, realizing, by a rather loose and waving appendage, that he was very much naked. At least the chairs front legs had snapped.

“Silver!” The other cried in warning, but it was too late. Ty touched his still bound (and still naked) feet to the ground, using them to launch himself forward. His hard head collided with her softer skull, resulting in a satisfying crunch. Pain lanced through his skull, but he ignored it as she went down hard. Shiver gasped, looking in stark horror at her quiet sister.

“Silver!” She tried to rush to her sisters side, but Ty tripped her. Shiver gasped and tumbled forward, her head striking the beds corner frame and knocking her out cold.

“Next time, get a sleeping bag, you fucking plebs.” Ty tried to say, looking from would-be rapist to would-be rapist. But it came out as “Ne phine, ge a heepin agh, yo ucking leds.” He sighed and shook his head. Same on every planet. He thought before trying to caterpillar his way out of the tent. He crawled and worked his way to the flap, grinning and mumbling through the gag in victory. As his head poked through, he looked around at all the previously bustling ponies, all frozen in place, just staring at him.


“MMMMPH!” He yelled over the gag, snapping a few ponies back to reality. They drug him from the tent, his naked body getting roughed up by the dirt.

“What the hell is that..?” One asked. Ty furrowed his brow and grunted, teething the ball gag.

“...We should probably untie… Him.” A mare said, a blush lighting her face.

“Hmm mm!” He muffled out a thanks as they did just that, taking out the ball-gag and untying him.

“So, Silver and Shiver are at it again?” One of the stallions asked. Ty looked at him like he was nuts. “I mean, they’ve well earned their nickname, the Kink Sisters.” He laughed.

“They tried to RAPE me. That’s not a kink, that’s fucked off, dude.” The stallion hardened his face.

“They’ve never gone that far before. How did you escape?”

“I’ve been in that situation before. They’re out cold, maybe dead.” He shook his head. The stallion bolted into the tent, then came out a few seconds later with Ty’s clothes.

“Put them on, we need to go see the Princess.” He said. While Ty complied, the stallion spoke again. “They’re alive. I teleported them to the medical tent with a note. Unfortunately, I had no time to take off their… Outfits.” Ty snorted with a laugh, “I figured it was punishment enough for what they tried to do to you.”

“You can’t punish a rapist enough.” Ty shook his head.

“If you haven’t noticed, we’re at war. I don’t know what you are, but you’re obviously sapient, so you must know what war is.” At Ty’s nod, the stallion continued, “We need every able-bodied soldier we can get. Therefore, we merely punish the ones who do wrong. No matter the scale.” Ty was speechless.

I’m actually kind of glad they wanted our help. They sure as hell need it.

“Alright. I suppose that makes sense in your mind.” He scoffed, Ty’d been getting more and more irritable, his inner psycho even began to whisper thoughts at him. All because these damn ponies didn’t have tobacco here.

“Do you have a better idea?”

“Multiple. Now, you said we’re going to see Celestia? Let’s get to it.” Ty stated briskly. The stallion grumbled a little, then lit his horn. Before Ty could stop the pony, he was on his knees and the world was spinning around him.

“Ty! Good, there’s been an emergency. I’ll send you to Tom immediately.” Celestia’s voice dug through the gravel filling his ears.

“Ehmerga… Wha-?” Another golden flash later, he was flat on his face in a white room.

“Good to see you finally-” The raspy voice of his brother in arms was cut off by Ty violently vomiting. “...Nurse?” Tom called. A small white mare appeared in the room, and gasped at Ty’s form. “Don’t worry, Celestia no doubt sent him. Would you kindly take that out of my room?” Ty’s vision began to fade, and then he passed out.


“Really, dude?” I asked Ty’s prone form, rolling my eyes. “Best friend’s dying, you’re the only one who can save him, and you’re passed out on the floor.” I laughed a little, “Just like old times…” Luckily, Ty didn’t stay knocked out too long.

“Urgh…” He groaned, slowly sitting up and putting his back to the wall. “What’s this god damn ‘emergency’? I’m too nicotine deprived to put up with this bullshit.” Honestly, I wished he hadn’t brought up the current deprivation, because I was suffering too.

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” I grumbled, “Anyway, so Blueballs penetrated me with his shaft so now I’m dying of bloodloss. You’ve got the same blood type as me, and it's only way for my organs not to shut down.”

“...So the typical Tuesday?”

“Ya got it.”

“What is the meaning of this!?” I recognized the voice of my irritable doctor before I saw him. The brown stallion narrowed his eyes at us.

“Yo, hook me up so I can transfuse my blood over to him before he dies. Thanks man, you’re the best.” Ty put on a shit-eating grin.

“I see. In that case, do you have any diseases?” The doctor turned his gaze to Ty.

“Nah, clean as a whistle.” Ty smiled. The doctor only gave him a flat look.

“Whistles are very, very dirty.” He replied in a similar tone. Magic spiraled up his horn and the two of us were enveloped in his magical aura. I felt my veins suddenly fill, and my body became much more active.

“Whoa…” Ty and I both said at once. His was more drained, while mine became active. The unicorn shook his head and blinked a few times.

“The princess warned me of the protective barrier in place, I’m glad it realized the magic was using mana instead of psions.”

"What if it didn't?" Ty asked, to which the doctor actually shrugged.

“Well, thanks and all, but this means I can go, right?” I asked.

“Yes, you’re clear to roam the base.” He said as I got up and stretched, “But Celestia mentioned something about needing the two of you back at HQ.”

“If it involves Blueblood, prepare your morgue.” I walked out of the room.

“Or Shiver and Silver.” Ty followed up with malice before leaving after me.

“Shiver and Silver?” I questioned. He shoved his hands in his pockets, fiddling with his knife.

“Would be rapists.” He mumbled. I nodded my head swiftly.



“So did a screaming child wake you up too?”


“Think we should should check it out?” He paused.

“...Right after we deal with the Kink Sisters and Blueballs.” Ty nodded.

“Alright.” I shrugged as we approached Celestia’s tent. “Hey, Sunbutt! You home?” I asked and peaked through the flaps of the tent, seeing her sitting down with a cup of tea.

“Come in, both of you.” Celestia stated calmly. I looked over to my best friend and shrugged, then we walked in. We took seats and waited for her to speak, occasionally glancing at one another.

“Thank you both for coming. I was… Heartbroken when I found out the truth. My adopted nephew…” She choked back a sob, then took a deep breath. “I am sorry for what he’s done to you, Tom. It won’t happen again.”

“Then he’s dead?” I asked.

“Exiled.” She shook her head.

“Where is he now?”

“Traveling South in the Forbidden Jungles.” She sighed painfully, “I understand if you want revenge, but think through it. We have a war on our doorstep, and the resources to track him down would be too much.”

“Can’t you just teleport us where you teleported him?” I asked quickly.

“I could, but I wouldn’t be able to get you back.”

“This can’t possibly come back to bite us in the ass.” Ty facepalmed.

“I am aware, but the Forbidden Jungles are the most dangerous places on our planet.” Celestia closed her eyes. “He will surely meet his end there.” Her melancholy tone was our cue to leave, but I still had one thing left to take care of.

“Celestia, I’m not here just to find Blueblood. I have information.” I said.

“Oh?” She looked up, obviously relieved for the distraction.

“Yes, there are more like us coming and some that aren’t.” I stated. She furrowed her brow.

“You said you were the last of your kind, explain what you mean.”

“Eh, I said something more along the lines of 'last survivors of our planet'. These guys were in a different part of the universe, they're called Terrans. Unfortunately, the friendlies are being tailed by some not-so-friendlies. The Protoss that sent us here and his brother in arms, Talandar, will be here… Shit, how long have we been here?” I asked.

“Two days.” Celestia responded.

“Then tomorrow, at some point the Protoss will arrive to help fend off the Zerg, two hours later, the friendly Terrans will show up, three hours after that, the not-so-friendly Terrans show up. Before those three hours are up, we need a reasonable defense set up to defend against these “Dominion” troops.” I summed up what Zeratul told me.

“Very well. I shall make the necessary arrangements.” Celestia said, then closed her eyes and began to focus.

“Oh, and one more thing.” She cracked one eyelid to glance at me. “Charlie needs to be here ASAP.” She nodded and quickly unfurled a scroll, jotted a few things down, and sent it off. Not five minutes later, a rather disheveled Charlie appeared with a small pop. She looked wildly around the room, then her gaze fell on us and she relaxed.

“I shoulda known this had something to do with you two… Oh my god! Tom, what happened to you?!” She fretted when she saw my bandaged torso.

“Got penetrated by Blueballs. The first time always hurts. I’m all better now though.” She promptly smacked the back of my head.

“Ow! Okay you’re not helping the hurty stuff.” I groaned, she giggled. “Gah, Ty, you can handle recap this time.”

“I almost got raped, he got stabbed, we need you for a prophecy or we’re boned.” He said, then turned to me. “How was that?”

“Good enough.”

“Never can get a break, can I?” Charlie shook her head and I scoffed.

“Yeah, you’re the one that gets it sooo rough.” She deadpanned towards me.

“I got eaten, thrown into another body that doesn’t even resemble my own, and I don’t even know how to have sex in this thing. You tell me, who got the short end of the stick here?” Blushes sprang out across the room, causing Celestia to politely cough.

“In any case, I believe we should go check up on Luna, Stone Kiss, and his foals. One of which I believe screamed not too long ago.” She got up to leave.

“You mean you didn’t rush over?” I asked, causing her to giggle lightly.

“Luna is more than capable of handling any situation. Now, let’s be off.”

"Hold on," Ty raised his hand. "I've got a matter to address too. These 'Kink Sisters'?" Celestia grimaced, "Yeah, well they tried to rape me earlier and I was wondering if you were gonna banish them too. Because if you are, just give me their whereabouts and I'll do my own little banishing."

"Sergeant, I understand where you are coming from on this. However, Shiver and Shiver are both very... Skilled and determined ponies. I encourage you to show them mercy. They don't know how to act when they like somepony. It usually ends up much of the same way. The other ponies they like, usually don't resist after they're tied up. Most likely, they did not understand that you did not want to participate, until it was too late." Celestia could be a very persuasive pony.

"...Alright, I'll take it into consideration and at least hear them out first." Ty sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not going to bitch about it if I can fix it."

Did he just..? Huh. That's new. He's usually wayyy more stubborn. I'll be happy with just alliteration, thank you.

"Thank you. I have no doubts you put them in the infirmary, the pony who brought you here told me everything." Celestia smiled.

"Don't mention it." Ty grumbled, "Let's go check out that scream."


“Your majesty, we have locked onto the warp location for Raynor’s Raiders.” A marine in bulky armor reported.

“Excellent… Equis. I never thought I would get to conquer that planet. We have more to fear there than anyone knows. Make sure our soldiers know the cost.” Arcturus Mengsk demanded, turning to look back into the abyss of Space racing beside him. It had been a long time since he had ventured from the capital, and even longer since he had left the planet. It would seem that this opportunity had lined up perfectly for him.

“Jim Raynor, Xel’Naga Queen, I come for you.” He let out a deep and dark laughter, echoing through the fabric of space around him for all to hear.

Author's Note:

Sorry for the hiatus on everything, but I'm back baby! Mega update is standard format from here on out! Stay Brony, my friends.

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