As you should expect (assuming your IQ has at least double digits) that in an OC-based story, the OC has to be good and likable for people to enjoy the story. However, how do you know if your OC is good? Simple: ask others about their opinions. In this thread, you may post your OC, and ask others for their opinions. All criticism is accepted when talking to others about OC's (as long as you're not TWE level of constructive criticism).

Things to list when telling about your OC:

1. (Full) name

2. A picture of them (pony creator works fine) or a very descriptive representation of them. If you describe them, make sure to explain their color scheme and their mane shape and color.

2.1. Gender, assuming the picture, if you used it, didn't make it obvious.

2.2. Race (earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, or... IT...), if you didn't use the picture.

3. Backstory. Please be descriptive without dragging on. Under 500 words works best.

4. Personality. Again, be descriptive without dragging on.

5. Special abilities, especially what they do for a living from their cutie mark. Are they A GOD OF LIGHTNING, or are they a simple baker? please say the latter

6. Relations with canon characters. Please explain if they are very close to a canon character and what they do when they're "alone"...

7. Relations with other OC's, if there are any. You don't need to explain much about the other OC's, assuming they're not extremely complex.

8. Social life. What do they do when they're not doing special things? How do they kill time? What do they often do with their friends?

9. How they will be placed in their story. (I.E. Main character, supporting character, a simple one-chapter gag, etc.)

10. Any extra notes you want us to know.

Now, reviewers. You have to give a rating out of 10 to their OC and WHY. WHY is the biggest point to talk about. If you wish to get really thorough about it, speak about each part of the 10 and possibly give those a rating. Try to be kind but constructive to everyone.

Anything else that I should add? Any big typos to fix? (Don't worry, I'll slap myself hard since I'm the one with Grammar Pedantry Syndrome here.) Tell me here!

Now, get posting! I'll get some examples quickly.

Also, feel free to post as many OC's as you need, but still be thorough with each one. We won't mind if you post many.

Also, reviewers will be here when you need them. If you want, reply to this post and I can review yours myself. I have some reputation as a jerk, but I've seen some shit and shit accessories, but I've gotten way nicer now and I can help you out if you really need it.

(Example number un)

Hi! I'm faget number one.

My OC is Thunder Fire Strike.

He (showing he's a stallion) is a black alicorn with bat wings. There are red stripes along his body, and he has a DJ-Pon3 mane (except it's black-and-red). His cutie mark is a bolt of blue lightning, though what he does for a living has nothing to do with it.

He was a human living in New York City named John F. (Short for faget.) He was a Brony and loved watching the show. However, one day, Twilight messed up a spell, which somehow managed to break the space-time continuum and suck John into a portal. John woke up in Equestria, and found out he was a pony! The OC is described, in fact. He named himself Thunder Fire Strike and figured out what to do with his life in Equestria. He managed to become best friends with the Mane 6 and they all went on awesome adventures together! He defeated Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon AT THE SAME TIME! He can do basically anything, and, spoilers, in the last chapter, he overthrows Luna (who was the ruler at the time) and became ruler of Equestria!

Lightning is really nice and is friendly to every nice pony he meets. He often wows them with his awesome abilities and they become friends. However, if any of his friends get hurt, he steps in and becomes The Hulk very angry, and protects his friend.

Again, he can do ALMOST ANYTHING! Name anything, he can do it (probably). He's the best pony! :rainbowdetermined3:

He is dating Twilight (and they occasionally have seks ). Spike and him are best friends forever. He often has sex with the rest of the mane 6. Though Lightning is convinced that Twilight knows, she's okay with it either way, and so are the rest of the mane 6. Don't worry, the story has no descriptive sex scenes. Pinkie promise!

There are no other OC's since he's so awesome. :rainbowundetermined17:

All he does is be awesome! He either sleep, eats, has sex, or does something awesome all the time! He's that cool. :rainbowwhatever2:

He's the mane character! (get it ;p)

He's so epic, he doesn't need anything extra! :whateveryougetthisstupidjoke2:

Pls rate my OC, but be nice because I don't want any bullies being mean to me. SO BE NICE OR YOU'RE GETTING REPORTED TO KNIGHTY! :flutterrapge:

841757 (Example TOO)

Hey! I'm faget number 2.

Hi, faget number one, I saw your post, and boy, do we have a lot to talk about.

First off, the name is absolutely nothing like any name we'd see in Equestria. Why not do something simpler? It should also reflect his special talent, which I'll get into soon.

Now, his color scheme is highly cliche. It's also nothing like what we'd see in Equestria, so, why not change that? Also, his cutie mark should reflect his talent, which, again, I shall talk about later.

His background is way too cliche and complicated. Why not go for something simpler, without him starting out as a human? Just that backstory idea turns some people off when it comes to reading this story.

The personality is what we've all seen before. He should be a bit more special in this case, and not be able to get so many friends with his abilites, which I shall now get in to.

Okay, the fact that he can do, like, anything, is not good at all. That makes him a Gary Stu, which I've assumed you've heard of. Tip: don't let your character be one. Him having one or two special abilities is good, but so many is not good. Please consider one interesting quirk and stick to it. This makes him being able to do one or two special things makes writing easier and it makes people be more interested in reading it.

Ugh... well, first off, OCxcanon shipping is not good, especially with a main character is having... sexual relations with them. If you HAVE to do this, restrict it to one character, please?

This doesn't matter much, but, make sure your one character is good enough to not drag people away from this.

Bad. Bad, bad, bad. He should do something uninteresting while he's alone. This may seem done, but he should seem like a regular old character in the back of the mind of any reader. He should be interesting, but not annoying, if that makes sense.

le epikc punz xDD

k

All in all: 2/10 would not bang 1/10. He's cliche, so interesting that he's not interesting, and what we've all seen before. Creating a story based on how he is now will lead to double-, maybe even triple-digit dislikes, with a horrible like:dislike ratio. You really, really need to change your OC.

If you need to, we can discuss this, but I got all of my thoughts out.

841757 841760 Please insert 25 cents to create bickering about useless, unrelated, and personal things between the two.

Snow is the subject of my story, so there will be limited backstory for the sake of spoilers.

1. Birth name: Lapis Lazuli, but she goes by Snow Squall.
2. For most of the story (as a filly): http://ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/d76a85d59c0332989422b536b51c277a_1024.png?t=515b9466e8785 (Couldn't find a perfect hairstyle, close enough)

As a mare: http://ponysquare.com/file/pic/photo/217ff08ae014c1191cc18f2566e3d726_1024.jpg?t=515b949e65ad6

3. For as long as she's known, she has lived in the middle of the Frozen Northern arctic of Equestria, with no knowledge that other ponies even existed. She, in the beginning, cannot even speak, and spent much of her time simply trying to survive on scraps of food.
4. Personality: In the beginning, very timid, afraid of anything that threatens her. Later, outgoing, more happy-go-lucky, and wild. She has a fairly strong sense of pride, willing to take on any challenge, whether it's a good idea or not. She thinks of things in a fairly black-and-white way, being a filly.
5. Very proficient in magic pertaining to ice, snow, and later, water. Her cutie mark is a pair of ice skates, and as such, she is a very talented skater, though since she is a filly (and is nowhere near civilization), she does not work.
6. No relation to canon characters as of yet.
7. Her guardian is her only friend, and as he is an adult, they feel a very strong father-daughter relationship. He teaches her basic things about the world, such as what the different kinds of ponies are, and more trivial things at times, such as the names of birds and flowers.
8. She spends most of her time skating, talking to her guardian, and going on walks.
9. Main character.
10. She is autophobic, afraid of being alone.

841757

It's... it's... it's the greatest revolution in OC development since the knight in shining armor! Such passion, such heroism, such awesomeness! This guy is so awesome that he eats charcoal for breakfast, shits diamonds at lunch, and wears his shit-diamonds on a big ass bling necklace that looks like him wearing a bling necklace of himself!

Present me to this avatar of all that is creative and hardcore, so that I might lick the chocolate pudding from the bottom of his platinum encrusted shoes! Every single one of those second person clop stories out there were just analogies to his millions of sexual exploits! How do I appease this almighty being?! Do I present it with my sister in law, perhaps my first born child so that they may honor the family name and serve as this glorious creature's personal scrotum washers?!

...... yeah, your OC sucks. Also, I had too many hits on the bong tonight.

2.2. Race (earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, or... IT...), if you didn't use the picture.

Diamond Dogs?

Also, here is an example of what not to do:

My OC is a zebra and I will write about him sometime. Eventually. Never.

842030
842015
841752
1. Bloodrunner
2.
3. He is a Hematologist. Or should I say blood doctor. He lives in a place called Pansyville. It is similar to ponyville but, with different architecture.
4. He is a complete douchebag who is obsessed with having sex with mares and is a Constant Masturbator
6. Not really.
7. None.
8. Masturbate
9. Main Character
10. Later in the story Bloodrunner gets a powerful gauntlet attached to his arm.
Here is the story he is based in.

841752
1. Lumina Spectre (but only ponies that don't know her very well call her by her full name. She's just LUMINA!)

2.

(Thank you again, Piecee01 for the fantastic fanart)

3. She's a refugee who has spent her adult life trying to find her mother. Also, she was diagnosed with a mental disorder when she was young (get this, she thought she was magical and could talk to Twilight Sparkle). Can't say more without spoiling too much. I already said too much as it is.

4. According to the Myers Brigg personality indicator (I take the Myers Brigg for all my OCs to make sure I have them fleshed out enough to take the test for them), she's an INFJ, like Zecora, Ben Linus, James Wilson, Carl Jung, Adolf Hitler, and Gandhi. Leave her alone staring at a blank wall and in a few hours she can tell you all about the meaning of life and the universe. She's very spiritual, and has unresolved anger issues.

5. She drives a space ship for a living, which is kinda like being a glorified truck driver. She doesn't have a cutie mark because that's just a fairy tale and there's no such thing. Did I mention she thought she could do magic at one point?

6. Twilight Sparkle was her imaginary friend when she was growing up. I can't say more because spoilers.

7. She admires her mother and wants more than anything to see her again. She has a lot of, uh, unresolved issues with her father.

8. She talks to her sentient computer copilot ANIMUS a lot, who is kind of her best friend forever. She loves ponies, but spending too much time in a crowd is taxing for her. She prefers to spend her free time quietly and with the few ponies who are closest to her.

9. She's the main protagonist.

Might as well get this out of the way. Borderlands crossover.

1. Headshot

2. He's a Pegasus. He has a dark blue coat and off-white mane, his mane is very messy and he doesn't care about hygiene most of the time. He wears a hoof band he got from his brother, his cutie mark is a picture of a pony skull with crosshairs over it.

3.In the future, where the world is ruled by a tyrant, he was basically the most wanted pony in Canterlot. There was no way to fight back because the Elements of Harmony were locked in large Vaults, scattered all over the world and couldn't be open with the keys. He met two Vault Hunters that unknowingly found the two keys and they needed to find the Vaults.

4.Personalty: A leader when it counts, but more of a follower or a loner. He's happy go lucky, but holds a huge grudge, and is very quick to anger.

5. A crack shot with crossbows and lightning cloud rifles.

6. Friends with descendants of the mane six.

7. His best friend is Firecracker, a crazy unicorn mare that specializes with fire and explosives. He acts as the logical choice(most of the time) and makes a plan, while Firecracker is the opposite, she charges head on in combat. They are just friends, friends not star-crossed lover, friends, just friends.

8. He broods when there isn't a large fight or plans for it, or just crack jokes with other friends. He sometimes attempt to make a new type of weapon but almost always fails

9.Main Character

10. He hates his brother and, for spoiler's sake, his brother is neutral in their relationship.

841938
I could guess at your basic storyline from the character alone. It reminds me of Tarzan. Of course, ponies, and then frozen north and all... but those are simply details. The character sounds like she has a good foundation for you to work off of. What happens now is your going to have to efficiently build the story around her to emphasize a weakness which she has. Place her in an unfamiliar situation, an emotionally trying time, etc. You're gonna have to break her down. If she handles it like a complete champ, the story will bomb.
So did I make good points or fly completely off topic?

842272 Her main flaw is her autophobia, that'll certainly play a role~ You can check out my story if you'd like, but I'm not going to shove it down your throat like some people do to me

Alright Everybody listen up!
Thank you for your attention... *releases your balls/tits*
If this thread is going to work, You CAN'T ALL JUST POST YOUR OC'S! This is a discussion for gosh sakes! Please leave some feedback for the other peoples OC's as well. Try a one to one ratio. Give and take. DISCUSSION. I'm not gonna have time to reply to all of you. So your gonna need to work at it yourself. Thank you again, and don't you let me catch any of you being selfish again... "dang kids! why are they on my lawn...I can't stand em these days.

842275
I'll look at it if you send me a link let it be on Fimfiction... oh please oh please.

842306 SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION ACTIVATE. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/88619/frozen-over

Yes, it's FimFiction c:

842307
This is how you make a link
there's an anchor symbol as one of the comment buttons.

842314 It's 1:15 AM, I'm tired xD But I'll try to remember that. I actually wrote most of the story between 1 AM and 6 AM on most days.

842244
Introvert or extrovert?
What are his hobbies, beside brooding?
And will he approach a problem with a familiar solution or is he comfortable with trying unorthodox solutions?

842227
I wanna read that. May I have a link?

842060

To put it bluntly, Bloodrunner sounds like a very flat, boring character.
I am going to start by going down the given list in the OP
1) According to your description of the character, as far as a talent is concerned, the name Bloodrunner is pretty good. Going off of his job, everything falls into place.
2) As a stand alone picture, there is nothing too jarring about your OC. However, when you consider his profession, your character is far too rough looking. A doctor is suppose to be clean cut and neat looking (Dr. House should be the only exception). The mane and tail of Bloodrunner is reminiscent of a back-street brawler.
3) Not a whole lot to go off of. If he was a doctor who could afford to travel at will, I do not believe that he would be living in an OC town. It would be better to place him in the fanon's big cities. Manehattan, for example, could explain why he wants to go to ponyville (or so your story would imply); he wants to get out of the big city.
4) Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, a million times no! There is nothing in that description for a reader to latch on to. A character needs some kind of depth to it. At best, the personality would be a character you love to hate that appears maybe once in a while as a gag.
5) N/A
6) Than why are the Mane 6 tagged in your story?
7) ...
8) So all he does is work or jack off? That makes for a very bland character that is severely two-dimensional.
9) Of course he is.
10) Ok. By the title of your story, we must assume that Bloodrunner is the hero of Pansyville or Ponyville, I am not very sure which. He is a complete douchebag that seemingly only cares about #1. On top of the former two, he gets an all-powerful gauntlet that allows his to do Celestia knows what.

That of that makes any sense.

If the character is a doctor, why is he trying to play hero? If he is a selfish douche that craves only to get some tail, why would he bother to look beyond himself and save anypony? There are character flaws like this all around. I am giving this OC a 2/10 only because you connected the name to an appropriate occupation and that colors of his coat aren't awful. I would either scrap Bloodrunner or seriously overhaul him. Personally I would prefer to see the former.

842396
Looks like you found it. Enjoy the read !

Well, shoot. Might as well post my first ever OC. This is also the same one I used for Razorbeam's writing contest, and I am finally starting to work her in to a fic as a supporting character.

Name: Flicka (Ghost)

Race: Unicorn

Appearance: Storm cloud grey, with four jagged stripes that span her back and down either side, dark amethyst colored, like lightning bolts. Mane hangs down to cover her left eye, and her tail almost brushes the ground. Mane and tail same color as stripes. Over her right eye rests a circular device, black, that aids in her eyesight; her eye is an ice blue. Her right foreleg is missing at the knee, instead replaced by a metal one, colored the same as her coat.

Abilities: An uncanny and deep knowledge of teleportation. Teleportation comes to Flicka as easily as breathing does, and as such, many of her combat skills will often revolve around it.

Weapons: Flicka is generally physically weaker than most other unicorns, making it difficult for her to master any type of physical weapon. As such, her magic is often her weapon, both in terms of magical based attacks and creating magical weapons for her to utilize. When she does use her magic to create replicas of physical counterparts, she prefers knives—light and fast.

Story: Flicka was abandoned by her parents when she was little more than a filly. Ashamed that their daughter was unable to perform enough magic to catch the eye of Princess Celestia or the Princess’ School, their parents bribed a servant to take their daughter and dump her in the nearby desert with very little food or water. Starved, dehydrated, and confused, little Flicka was almost dead before a wandering tribe of Pegasi and Earth ponies found her.

The nomads nursed the filly back to health, and eventually began to learn the life of a nomad. Training to hunt with the high endurance Earth ponies and the fleet footed Pegasi, Flicka’s body slowly began to adapt to the nomad’s ways. Eventually the unicorn was perfectly capable of keeping up with the lightest Pegasus and the most stoic Earth pony. During this time, Flicka still struggled with her magic. Trying as hard as she could, Flicka could barely levitate even the lightest of items, and actually casting spells of any type was well out of her league.

Years later, right after Flicka entered her adolescent years, tragedy struck again. A tribe of Diamond Dogs stormed the nomadic encampment, hoping to capture enough ponies to aid them with their mining and excavation. When the nomads began to fight back, they were killed. Flicka, fearing for her life and for those she had called family, attacked back. Horn flaring with power she did not even know she possessed Flicka struggled to shield her comrades. As she did so, she took a stray sword to her right leg, severing the limb at the knee. Collapsing atop the bodies of two Pegasi, the raiding Diamond Dogs presumed her dead and left her be. They left, taking whatever they could carry. Flicka, wounded and bleeding, could only find a rag to wrap around her stump. Concentrating one last time, Flicka teleported herself towards were she hoped the border to Equestria was. Too weak to do more, she fell unconscious.

A hermit unicorn known only as Crow found her. Gathering the still unconscious mare onto his back, Crow immediately set out towards his laboratories on the very edge of the Equestria border. There, he fixed Flicka up as best he could; outfitting her with a fully functional metallic leg and what he called a “targeting eye” designed to aid Flicka’s eye sight and perceptiveness. Crow also nicknamed her “Ghost”, partially because of her coat color, and partially because, by the laws of normal nature, Flicka should have been dead when he found her. Once recovered, Flicka began to work on her combat skills with a feverish determination, refusing to be too weak to aid those she had come to care for again. It was around this time Flicka discovered her knack for teleportation, teleporting so quickly she appeared to be in three places at once, not even winded. In an effort to make a name for herself and to earn some extra bits, she now finds herself in the employ of Queen Chrysalis as a personal body guard.

Personality: Given her shaky past, Flicka is so quiet at times she appears mute. She prefers to observe quietly, and often has a hard time trying to mingle with society. When or if she does open up and relax a bit, she is quite fun to talk to.

Canon: No special relations with canon characters-- yet. However, in my fic, Unity, when Twilight eventually becomes the new changeling Queen, Flicka becomes her new bodyguard, and will eventually form a rather friendly relationship, along with Rainbow Dash.

Social Life: As mentioned above, Flicka has a hard time with most things social, at first. As such, her only real friend is Crow, the pony who saved her life by turning her into what she is. Whenever she's not actively needed protecting the Queen of the Changelings, Flicka is constantly training, honing her reflexes to be the fastest moving unicorn ever. She knows this is a little unrealistic, but it still does not stop her.

Story Placement: For Unity, she is a supporting character. She is important-- almost painfully so-- but Unity is not all about her. In the sequel, should I ever get that far, Flicka will have more of a permanent role, and will learn something about Crow that might shock her to her core.

Well, here is Flicka. A bit long I know, sorry. I'm a stickler for details. Usually, anyway. I know a "cyborg" is not really something one sees in Equestria, but for my Alternate Universe, it works. Over the course of Unity and its sequel, readers will realize why Flicka was turned into what she is, and why Crow decided to save her life by implementing her with machinery. I'll see if I can get around to reviewing other OCs.

842379
Introvert,

He mostly, cleans and maintain weapons.

He has a basic strategy, but will often go out of his norm and into situations that have a high cost, when he's angry, he recklessly just charges in, that's how he lost his wings and had to undergo surgery.

I'm confident in my OC due to reader feedback, but this sounds like fun, so why the hell not?

Name: Prism

Apperance:

Backstory: Only child of a famous manehattan painter. (oc) She's albino, and it has had a huge impact on her childhood. Prior to school she was a happy, energetic filly; but after teasing and ridiculed for being so different, it molded her into a rather timid introvert. She looks up to her mother (painter) above all else, and is very close to her. Though, shortly after moving out on her own her mother passes away from an illness related to her painting.

Prism lives happily day to day, painting and drawing the days away, but all good things come to an end eventually, and she is forcibly thrown into the real world.

Personality: She begins as a timid and shy introvert with a pessimistic "worst case scenario" way of thinking, but as the story progresses she slowly comes out of her shell and forms into a more positive, social pony. (Character development?! Le gasp!)

Abilities: She says her special talent is "Art" and is gifted at painting, and quite skilled at other arts and crafts as hobbies. She makes a living designing concept art for signs, as it allows her to work from home a vast majority of the time. Due to her albinism, she has physical and magic restrictions. She is unable to use her magic for beyond trivial tasks or levitating light objects.

Relationship with Canon Characters: Prism befriends Fluttershy by simple Coincidence (Slamming into each other as she approaches the outskirts of ponyville) and quickly learns the two have a lot in common and can relate well with one another. Prior to ponyville she's had no real friends, and makes her first real friendship in Fluttershy, who then introduces her to Rarity. Rarity offers her to stay in her guest bedroom until she is up on her feet, or hooves rather. Fluttershy, with the help of Rarity eventually helps her meet the rest of the mane six, however her interactions with the others is rather limited, as she is intimidated by them. Twilight plays a larger role later in the story as well. Prism also quickly develops a huge crush on Big Mac, but is far too shy to admit it or act on it.

She eventually finds herself unknowingly running face first into a love triangle between Big Mac and Fluttershy, however she is completely oblivious of this until much later in the story. (Roughly 130k words in)

As we all know, Shipping an OC with canon characters is taboo, so I took my time to slowly ease into it after friendships had been made.

Relationship with OC's: Prism is a mama's girl to her mother Canvas, who had/has a large influence amongst the Equestrian elite due to her paintings, and her reputation of refusing to sell any of her original works. Prism encounters other onetime and short term oc's during the story, however their roles are often insignificant.

...Except one very special one.

Social Life: Prior to ponyville she had absolutely no social life; zip, zero, zilch. During her stay in ponyville she spends most of her time at home with Rarity discussing art and fashion topics, visiting Fluttershy or begin examined as a test subject for Twilight due to her unique physiology.

Story Placement: First person fixed main protagonist.

Notes: Prism is a very complex character with a lot of depth, however a lot of her backstory and character is slowly revealed to the reader over the course of the story.

842524 This is an incredible OC, I admit. Now, to get into reviewing it.

Name: Nothing cliche or dumb, great.

Race: Extremely fits character and abilities, great.

Appearance: It seems a bit too original, but, I find a soft spot for it, since it truly lives up to the name "Original Character".

Also, do they have a cutie mark? Just wondering.

Abilities: Teleportation has been seen before in many characters as abilities (Twilight, just an example). However, the way that this is their main ability shines out a bit, making them seem like

Weapons: Same as above.

Backstory: I don't care if this was dragged on, this was fun to read. This is a long, but great, backstory. A bit too much in my taste, but pretty good overall.

Personality: We've seen it before, but personality is what we see all the time. Everything else fits the personality well.

Canon Relationship: Great. It's nice to know that they don't have too much interference with canon, even in an alternate universe fic.

Social Life: In my opinion, the weakest point (but not truly bad) of this overall great OC. Constant training is truly unrealistic, and they should do other things in their spare time. Training should happen sparingly, and they should have some friends that they can do things with. However, this does not truly need changing, so don't worry too much about it.

Story Placement: Fair enough, though I'm surprised that an OC with so much depth is just a supporting character.

All in all, 9/10. This is a truly great OC, with so much originality in it it may cause some heads to spin. However, it's still great, and, though some people will give it some flak for it being so original, it's great, and many will enjoy reading about this character.

my poneoc is mike he is gratest pone ever and god of acidic rain and dating celesta pls rate thx

Well, I might as well throw mine in here.

Name: Golden Eagle, prefers the nickname Goldy.

Picture:

(His cutie mark is a purple aura, but I suck at cutie marks, )

Backstory: He was born in a small town near Manehatten, with a single father who struggled for money after the mother's death from a changeling attack. The town was extremely small, with a population of about 60. He was a genius, and was able to master magic when he was young. (A bit older than Twilight.)

One day, the news of a competition in Manehatten to see what unicorn could be great enough; the reward was either 100,000 bits or a scholarship to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Goldy joined the competition and barely won, which made the judges be surprised. When he chose his reward, he chose the bits to support his father and the rest of his town. He was given the bits, however, he was also given a scholarship due to his modesty and outstanding abilities. He left his town and went to Canterlot to begin working at the school.

Though he was an average student at the school, he had many friends due to his lovable nature. He graduated the school with all A's and A-'s, with a few B's and B+'s.

He lived in Canterlot for a few years after graduating, though he left to his old home to live a simpler life. However, after getting close to his town, he saw it was in flames, and every pony who lived there was dead, including his father. He saw a note from changelings, saying that they were the ones to attack the village. Goldy left to go live in Ponyville, vowing to kill every single changeling after they murdered his father and his friends.

Personality: He's calm, but a bit paranoid and is ready to fight in any case of life or death. He prefers to be alone, and has a hard time getting new friends since he doesn't like to talk to those he doesn't know. However, he is very kind and is friendly to those he already knows. He also hates dumb ponies and reading fiction, but he doesn't mind reading textbooks.

Special Abilities: Though he's great at magic, he isn't good at anything else. He isn't at the level of Twilight in his abilities, but he works hard to get better every day.

Canon Relations: He's great friends with Twilight and, obviously, Pinkie Pie, but he's minor friends with the rest of Ponyville since the town is so small. He'snot very close to any character, though, and he would rather be alone.

Non-canon Relations: All of the ponies in his birth town are OC's, and he's especially close to his father. However, most characters he meets are canon.

Social Life: He is often inside, reading a textbook, sleeping, or eating. He doesn't go outside often and likes the dark. He only talks to others if he deems it necessary.

Story Placement: lol he's not even in a story, but if he was, he'd be the main character.

Extra Notes: If I get some positive feedback on my OC, I'll [try to] make a story about him.

843728 This comment 842015 also works for you.

843073
First of all, love the picture. did you draw that yourself? The name is ok, but Prism doesn't roll off the tongue very well. Does she have a nickname? Backstory and Canon Relationships seem like they are very well grounded, but the Albino aspect is troubling me. From this side it seems like a gimmick. Albinos have their own set of physical problems which they have to live with. Do you include those as part of the story? If so then I can find no fault in her.

843788

he had many friends due to his lovable nature

has a hard time getting new friends

he would rather be alone

way 2 be consistent mon

843837 ur jely

843860>>843864 I'll give you both a chance to delete the emote spam. I'm sorry, but it's not very considerate of the other people who wish to have a discussion.
Edit: I am too bro... I am too

843901 I'm sorry you feel that way.

843901 You too.

Edit: fuck that came out wrong

844143>>843907
While I would love to just let you two play (perhaps even join you.) This is not the thread to do it in. Thanks for the understanding.
Edit: I can't see an insult. *shrugs*

843634 Thanks for the review! I've had readers telling me they are looking forward to more of her, once I convinced them she's not just some blatant self-insert, seeing as she shares my username. Flicka does have a cutie mark; what I posted was actually an old version of her, in which I had forgotten her cutie mark. If you are curious:

Cutie Mark: Her cutie mark is several bolts of purple lightning arching out from a center point in a rough circle.

I know that this cutie mark is a bit odd, but its the best vision I can use to describe her teleportation capabilities.

I do agree that its kind of unusual for such an in depth character to only be a support, but again, Unity is not all about Flicka. She really wont come into major play until I start Unity's sequel, Letters. Unfortunately, I've still got a while before I get that far

843826

Whoops. There really should have been a flaws section.

Yes, I forgot to mention the psyical aspects actually. I also forgot to mention her magic is very weak, and hard for her to control beyond very trivial tasks and light objects. Her albinism plays a huge role in her character and many aspects of the story, often limiting her greatly.

Her name is just Prism, though it was originally something else; her mother changed it. She goes into details about that roughly midway into the story.

So she has some psychical and magical restrictions, as well as tripping over herself and often making situations worse by not thinking ahead. She's a complex character, I leave out many details becaouse the story is very character driven, her growth and revealing of her character is a large part of what drives the plot line.

What I am most proud of, is I have been approached by two albino bronies, telling me I nailed her character in the albinism aspect, and that they can relate with her perfectly.

Oh, and the picture is actually Fanart from one of my readers. I think I about had a heartattack/fangasim when they sent it to me. XD

844595

What I am most proud of, is I have been approached by two albino bronies, telling me I nailed her character in the albinism aspect, and that they can relate with her perfectly.

Sounds like you nailed it. Imma gonna have to find this fic...

844618
Well, if you decide to read it, I hope you enjoy it.

842244
He sounds like a typical mercenary. Your description makes him seem slightly one dimensional, but I suppose it really depends more on whether he fits in with your story or not, since merc's make themselves hard to read as part of the job. Adventure can compensate for lack of back-story to some extent, but you seem to have enough of it (I speak of his brother, and anything else unmentioned) to tell us that he has a history. Overall, I'd say that he seems quite ingrained in the story, but without knowledge of the setting it's hard to tell if he's been done right. I'm sorry if I can't give more.

846352 Actually he has a somewhat deep backstory but for spoiler's sake, I didn't add much.

1. Daydream full name though is Daydreamrose.

2. A picture of her is my avatar. < she doesnt have a cuitemark though yet I still cant decide that.

2.2. Race she is a earth pony but has werid dreams of being alicorn which is why she is that way in my icon.

3. Backstory. She is filly little older then Apple Bloom that has strange dreams of 6 ponies. (The mane six.) She goes to shool and has a Cuite mark in dreaming but doesnt have many friends because of these gift She tells her mom about most of her dreams but when she mentions ponyville and scince they live along way from equestria she thinks shes making it up so she decides to go on a reckless adventure with a undecided other o.c to see ponyville and find out why shes having dreams about these ponies. She lives in the bustling suburd city place of um.....Harmony at the street a.b.c 123 infnty

4. Personality Daydream is caring imaginative but kultzy because she tends to daydream and forget things and is genrally not very strong. because of that she doesnt have many friends so the ones she does she clings to. She is also very shy around teachers.
Her mother and her have a strong relationship and her father but her brother drives her crazy and makes her not think straight she is eccentirc and comes of as werid but she is slightly pessmistic at times when her live is especially bland. She subconciously dreams about being a princess.

5. She can daydream vividlly using her talent to think abstractlly. But she somehow also is good at somehow attracting boys, which is sad to her since she only really wants them as friends. Somtimes her daydreams and dreams in general come true, when she is alicorn she often has unctrollable power.

6. She daydreams about the mane six every day....
7.Bam zoom her younger brother is destuctive and mean and gets in he way. Her mother floralight and her are happy but she somtimes gets in small debates with her mother that get agressive because her mother is optomistic to a fault. Sea wheel is her silent father who she gets on well with.

8. Social life.
She has not social life and often doesnt do much scince her parents on strict thing is not to bring or go normally to ponys houces.But she often eats icecream at a shop and talks to her dad.
9. How they will be placed in their story- Shes the main character.

I'd like to offer up my OC for rating.
1. His name is Dream Catcher.
2. Here's his picture. His cutie mark is a paint brush behind an eyeball.

3. Personality: Patient and stubborn, Dream Catcher or "Dreamer" as he has come to be called, is a stallion of quiet contemplation. He's extremely intelligent, but is inclined more towards philosophy than science. He always considers his words carefully before speaking, and is truthful in whatever he does (no matter the consequences.) His moral code drives him to try and help others, despite their own wishes.
4. Special Ability: Dreamer's cutie mark is a symbol of his insight. He was the last colt in class to get his cutie mark, but only because he first helped everyone else get theirs first. His special talent is to be able to see the soul of a pony or thing and can occasionally discern their future through observation. If asked, he'd tell you that he doesn't understand it himself, but the closest he's come to expressing the feeling is when he paints. When Dreamer paints something, he paints its true soul. His talent becomes a curse though as he grows older, and his abilities are coveted by the greedy and egotistical.
5. Backstory: Finally one day he is summoned before the night court, and asked by Luna herself to paint her picture. Dream Catcher refuses, seeing in her the kernel of evil which would eventually transform her into Nightmare Moon (way back when). Luna of course demands that he do it, and with great reluctance he paints her soul. Seeing the finished painting, which was expertly made but showed her something nopony would wish upon another(proving the saying that "the truth hurts"), Luna flies into a rage and curses him to wander Equestria, unaging and morally against suicide, until the fate described in the portrait changes.

If I we're to write a story about his wanderings, it would likely be from the perspective of those he touches, only occasionally using his point of view, so in a way, he is and is not the main character.
That's pretty much it I believe. Rating please. What do you think?

847753
I'm no professional but I like to voice my thoughts (I have no idea what I'm doing though).

First off, some wondering. If Dream Catcher is stubborn, patient, and his talent was abused, would he be more strict and picky of his clients as he grew? Well, besides Luna; you can't easily refuse a princess now can you? Unless he was still young and less knowlegdable about philosophy the time he showed Luna's portrait, did he a chance in calming Luna during her tantrum since he is careful with his words? Is there a trait in Dream Catcher that defines him as "normal"? All I see is a guy who paints souls and talk about the ways of life all day.

Now, onto the review!

1-3. He looks intelligent, and his color scheme goes well with his name. Although, those soulless eyes doesn't seem like the type that wants to help. The word "catcher" makes sense, but I have a hard time understanding "dreamer". He is not boring, but also just not... fun.

4. Simple and a little unique. Also, would it be funny if he painted the soul of a random and confusing minded pony just to poke fun at his sanity?

5. A bit lacking on details, but makes you wonder if things could've been different for him.

I would rate this OC a 6 or 7 out of 10. He has a decent ability, an appearance that goes well with his character in some cases, a tragic backstory that isn't cliche, and a placement in the story that was rarely even used.