Inspired by The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab, #320, "Chuck Norris (2)" by Knight of Cerebus, and the "Chuck Norris Facts" meme and website, here is a collection of TRUE! FACTS! about Twilight Sparkle. The addition of new TRUE! FACTS! to the list is strongly encouraged.

• Twilight Sparkle doesn't read books, she stares them into submission until they give her the information she needs.
• Nightmare Moon checks her closet for Twilight Sparkle every evening.
• The bars in Tartarus aren't there to keep the villains in, but rather there to keep Twilight Sparkle out.
• Time passes because it's trying to get away from Twilight Sparkle.
• Twilight Sparkle does not sleep. She spends periods of time influencing the world with her sheer will alone to make mortals feel comfortable.

—Knight of Cerebus

• The sun shines because it's so hot for Twilight Sparkle.
• Night falls because it trips over it's own hooves while thinking about Twilight Sparkle.
• Twilight Sparkle doesn't actually have a horn. That's her brain reaching out through the front of her skull to get you.
• Twilight Sparkle doesn't teleport herself to her destination, she teleports the rest of the universe so her destination comes to her.
• Space exists because Twilight Sparkle wanted a place to keep all her stuff.
• There is no nuclear strong force. Atoms stay together because they know what Twilight Sparkle will do to them if they don't.

—JentleJeniusKat

• Friendship isn't really magic, it just does what Twilight says.

—palaikai

• King Sombra was once wrestled into submission by Twilight Sparkle's shadow.
• Twilight Sparkle once built a book fort as a filly. Today, thousands of ponies live in it and call it, "Canterlot."
• Changelings no longer attempt to disguise themselves as Twilight Sparkle. The last one to try exploded from the sheer magnitude of awesomeness adorkableness.
• Books were originally invented as a means of distracting Twilight Sparkle. It remains unclear to villains if this was a good idea or not.
• Twilight Sparkle's cutie mark does not reflect the appearance of the Tree of Harmony. Rather, the Tree is Twilight's Number One Fan, and grew that way to impress her.
• Twilight Sparkle invented time just as a means of challenging herself by making it more difficult to be in two places at once.
• There is no such thing as Magic. "Magic" is merely the universe's way of trying to stay on Twilight Sparkle's good side.
• Twilight Sparkle caused the Big Bang as a filly the first time she tried to light a candle with her magic.
• Star Swirl the Bearded gave up magic and became an actuary after he peered into the future and saw Twilight Sparkle.
• Gravity exists because Twilight Sparkle wanted a way to keep her stuff together.
• Books are not written for Twilight Sparkle to read. The words assemble and arrange themselves out of fear of disappointing her.

• Death has an agreement with Twilight Sparkle. It stays out of her way, and she lets Death live.

•Twilight Sparkle has a pet dragon. Nuff said.

•Twilight Sparkle one day took a stroll in a beautiful lush forest. She had to sneeze. We now have the badlands.

•Twilight Sparkle could effectively use all of the Elements of Harmony on her own. Think about it.

• Twilight Sparkle and Chuck Norris have never been seen together at the same time, oddly enough…

• Twilight Sparkle's gaze turns cockatrices to stone.

Twilight Sparkle once recited the entirety of Pi.

Twice.

In one day.

Twilight Sparkle tugged on Superman's cape and that was how Christopher Reeve was paralyzed.

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Backwards!

Celestia and Luna use the intricate great machinery of the universe to move Sun and Moon. Twilight just grabs the balls in magic and DRAGS them.
Discord never used his powers to attack or warp Twilight Sparkle. He knew he had no chance. That's why she let him off with only petrification.
Twilight grew wings because the only powers she didn't have were political powers and it was about time for her to change jobs.
Oh, we can go non-canon too? Hmmm..

• Canterlot hill was destroyed when a young Twilight Sparkle got angry and stomped on the ground, pounding the hill flat. All that remains is a large stone supporting her old bookfort.
• There is no spell to make things change what they are. They change into what Twilight Sparkle wants to avoid her wrath.
• Twilight Sparkle once made two stones fight to the death.

3828505 Canterlot IS Twilight's Book Castle

• Twilight Sparkle gains no weight eating copious amounts of oatburgers. The oatburgers alter themselves at a molecular level to prevent this lest they incur her wrath.
• Nightmare Moon gives candy to Twilight Sparkle on Nightmare Night so she won't be eaten.
• On a dare, Twilight Sparkle turned the sun and moon to oatburgers. Celestia and Luna objected and had their horns turned to hayfries.
• Celestia and Luna gave Twilight Sparkle wings and a castle because they were tired of their horns being hayfries. She continues to let them think it wasn't going to happen otherwise... until it stops amusing her.
• Big Mac's Mac is not as big a Mac as Twilight Sparkle's Mac. Her Mac gives him nightmares.
• The Cutie Mark Crusaders don't have cutie marks because Twilight Sparkle hasn't thought of them yet.
• 'Twilight Time' is a method of organized bribery. The CMC haven't figured this out yet.
• Ponies who offend Twilight Sparkle are turned into Zap Apples. Only one pony has been turned back, to serve as a warning to others. Also, a as show of generosity, she was granted permission to perform Sonic Rainbooms.

Discord became reformed because he was scared of what Twilight Sparkle would do if he didn't.

1. Dark magic doesn't corrupt Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle corrupts dark magic.
2. No one save a delusional lunatic will engage in a magic dual with Twilight Sparkle simply because of the amount of challengers that died trying to dual her when she was only a baby. She merely sat through their spells until they used up all their magic trying to hurt her.
3. Twilight only pretends to need to read up on spells to make the lesser creatures around her feel safe.
4. Celestia thanks Twilight Sparkle daily for letting Celestia learning magic from her. She thanks her nightly that Twilight Sparkle leads others to believe it was the other way around.
5. Cadence's love magic is based on a lesser version of Twilight Sparkle's 'Want it, need it' spell taught her in her youth.
6. Twilight Sparkle is the reason we haven't seen Gilda again. She is currently using the griffon as a shuttlecock in a cosmic game of badminton with Goku.
7. Twilight Sparkle can spit into the wind with impunity.
8. Waldo is hiding from Twilight Sparkle.
9. Twilight Sparkle knows how to fight with more than just magic but lets on as if she is just a squishy mage to fool her enemies.

Twilight Sparkle once won the Equestrian National Goof-Off with an unabridged gryphonese dictionary, a book of Maud Pie's poetry, the Equestrian Tax code (dating back to 357 ANM, and including those portions that—when deemed unconstitutional four hundred and sixteen years later—subsequently destabilized the Equestrian tea trade for two decades), one-and-one-half No. 2 quills, and the original manuscript of Star Swirl the Bearded's Treatsie on a Jam I Found Lodged in My Left Rear Frog That Tasted Most Strange.

• Twilight Sparkle got tired of all the whiners coming to her for air and stuff (you'd think they'd be happy to exist in the first place), so she made the world.
• Then they started whining about needing food and shelter, so she turned them into monsters like the manticore.
• This backfired; now ponies were whining for food and shelter and protection from the monsters, whose violent antics, while amusing, were also killing off her worshippers. So did Twilight grant strength to Earth ponies, wings to pegasi and a smidgeon of feeble magic to unicorns so that they might fend for themselves, because really, she has more important things to do than put up with their petty needs.
• Then the ponies of the world started arguing about organization and needing a leader. Twilight wasn't interested in that drama, so she created Celestia and made her a fraction more powerful than all three races so they'd shut up and bow like proper peons.
• Celestia created order and peace. That was fine for about a century, and the simpletons left Twilight alone, but then it got really boring. So Twilight made Princess Luna, just so she and Celestia could squabble at times and make things more interesting.
• Twilight then gave Celestia and Luna dominion over the sun, moon and seasons because the tasks were beneath her in the first place.
• Celestia and Luna were at peace for too long. Things got dull again. So Twilight created Discord, just to shake things up a bit. She found the whole ordeal truly entertaining and was very annoyed when he was defeated.
• Not wanting things to grow stale again, Twilight used her unparalleled powers of persuasion to slowly twist Luna into Nightmare Moon. The resulting war entertained her for a century at least.
• Twilight learned from Discord and Nightmare Moon that direct interference and manipulation were fun ways to keep Equestria interesting. Thus did she elect to hide her godlike status and roam among ponies in the guise of a puny pony mortal, doing amusing things like starting wars and creating magic-absorbing centaurs.
• She's been having a blast ever since.

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• Twilight Sparkle got tired of all the whiners coming to her for air and stuff (you'd think they'd be happy to exist in the first place), so she made the world.

"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people ponies very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."
—Douglas Adams Hitch Hiker

3831937
"We apologize for the inconvenience."
—Douglas Adams Twilight Sparkle

videogame crossovers?
• High Overlord Saurfang bows to Princess Twilight Sparkle.
• Mr. Torgue used to be a quiet, peaceful man. Then he saw Twilight Sparkle one shot 'The Warrior' on top of the Badass Mountain of Badassitude. "THAT WAS #^(&ING AWESOME!!!"
• Twilight Sparkle can defeat the entire Zerg swarm using only pylons and a single SCV that brings her food and drinks.
• Twilight Sparkle's mana bar is simply listed as 'all of it'.

3832080 Aries was scared of Twilight Sparkle coming after him so he let Kratos kill him to escape.
Twilight Sparkle is the holder of all three parts of the Triforce. She just lets people think otherwise.
The reason Master Chief never takes off his helmet is because his face melted from seeing Twilight Sparkle's true form.
There is a reason all those characters come together to fight in Super Smash Bros. They fight for the entertainment of Twilight Sparkle.

• Sephiroth thought Jenova was his mother. This pissed off his real mother – Twilight Sparkle – who promptly OPed a kid with a keyblade to beat Sephiroth as the ultimate insult.
• Twilight Sparkle invented a method of flushing mustached stallions down tubes to kill lizards and produce psychedelic mushrooms. She made a game out of it when she realized how addictive the shrooms could be, thus bending thousands of mindless foals to her whims.
• Not that she needed to. This method was just more fun.
• Heihachi Mishima threw his son into an active volcano to gain Twilight Sparkle's favor. In return, she conjured a demon and had it possess said son.
• All the male lead characters of all Japanese anime and video games pay homage to Twilight Sparkle, lest she deny them the hair products they so desperately need.
• Ultimecia did not compress time. Twilight Sparkle sneezed.
• Kirby tried to swallow Twilight Sparkle. He became Twilight Sparkle. Nopony knows where Kirby is now.
• All video games are actually windows into alternate dimensions Twilight Sparkle created, because having the lives of innocents controlled by immature children when the fate of their painfully small existence is in the balance is a riot.

Twilight Sparkle is max leveled in every job class.
Twilight Sparkle is actually the most badass overlord in the multiverse.
Twilight Sparkle wrecked up Handsome Jack's face after he tried to take her friend Rarity. She did find Rarity's new name amusing and thus to this day all official documents still list the name Jack gave to Rarity.
Twilight Sparkle has moved an entire beach one sand particle at a time and it only took an afternoon.
Twilight Sparkle is only called the princess of Friendship because there aren't enough words in the Equish language to describe her proper field of influence.

Twilight Sparkle Had a pet lizard. It's name is Godzilla.

King Sombra wasn't banished under the ice, he trapped himself down there to hide from Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight Sparkle once encountered Cthulhu. At the sight of her, he promptly began to run.
Twilight Sparkle is the one who knocks.
Twilight Sparkle finds the Brony community to be "entertaining".
Twilight Sparkle once tried to clone herself in the Mirror Pool. All of the water immediately turned to steam, rather than try to perfectly replicate her awesomeness.

Twilight Sparkle once won a land war in Asia.
Twilight Sparkle can bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Every Harem protagonist must pray to Twilight Sparkle lest they lose their common sense, their guts in front of the women that love them and their emotional awareness. Only a few of them are aware of it though and those are generally called "Best MC".
Twilight Sparkle created the Great Clock to be a pocket watch, then decided that she could damn well decide of the time of the day herself and gave the Clock to the Zoni.
Twilight Sparkle hates to teleport, it's easier to fly or walk to her destination, or let the world carry her to said destination.
The throne of heroes doesn't exist, it's only a sliver (more like 1*10^-145280%) of Twilight Sparkle's dreams that is summoned.

Twilight Sparkle bitch slapped three alicorns so hard, one lost its horn, one lost its wings, and the third one lost both, thus creating the three pony races.

Twilight Sparkle rebelled against time and created the Tardis and gave the tardis to her favorite dead champion souls after giving them a tragic backstory and moving them to a separate universe.

• Twilight Sparkle beat Galactus in an eating contest.
• Twilight Sparkle flaps her wings when flying as a means of beating disobedient air into submission, after not holding her up.
• Twilight Sparkle doesn't need to read books, She just likes to see where her lessers are in understanding everything.

The only reason Twilight was corrupted by Dark Magic is because she's surrounded by idiots, otherwise the magic obeys her without question.