EPrincess Luna Wants A Sword

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

In order to protect her kingdom, Princess Luna requires a weapon, so she orders a sword to be made for her. But when swinging a sword becomes a major obstacle for the princess, is it the fault of the blade, or the wielder?

• Luna

The Sleepless Beholder · 1.7k words  ·  203  6 · 1.7k views

Summary: A kingdom needs a protector to defend it.
A protector needs a weapon to defend the kingdom.
A fundamental truth from the times where Luna was the hero of Equestria instead of a nightmarish fairy tail.
So now that Luna has finally returned, she is in need of a new weapon to protect the kingdom once more.

But when swinging a sword becomes a major obstacle for the princess, is it the fault of the blade, or the one who wields it?

Luna wants a sword, and honestly that’s pretty much the meat of this story. I liked what Sleepless Beholder has done with this, the simplicity is actually refreshing, and kept my interest all the way through. If I had any nitpicks, it’s that the servant is pretty much there to deliver his message to Luna, and doesn’t truly feel like his own character. 

7/10

This story’s focus is Luna wanting a sword and honestly the plot is pretty simple and straightforward. Luna wants a sword, but she has to go through a self-reflection of who she is, and who she wants to use the sword on, in order to be able to use it. The fact that the swords keep breaking despite Luna’s good intentions is a show of internal struggle, one that Luna doesn’t really see on her own, it takes her servant to continuously ask Luna “Who is thou enemy? And when the answer is herself, that’s when everything becomes clear. Really, this is a good simplistic story with a deeper message about knowing yourself, pushing past fear, and embracing the light, rather than ignoring the nightmare’s from her past. I like this message, it does exactly what it wants to do, without being overly complicated.

8/10

Luna: Often the sisters can be hard to write because we don’t see a lot of them in the show, but I found the way Sleepless handled Luna to be creative, interesting, and filled with subtlety. 

Luna wants a sword.

It’s a motif that is repeated throughout the story, and this adds to her characterization, because it makes you ask why. Luna wants a sword to fight her enemies, but she’s also terrified she’s the enemy. It’s very easy to get that from how each sword keeps breaking. She’s terrified, horrified that she’ll become Nightmare moon again, so she wants a sword so she can fight her enemies, but she cannot fight herself. The fact that she tries to ignore that side of her, is also what makes the swords break, and once she faces herself, so to speak she is finally able to wield the sword. It is ironic that at the very end, she decides not to use the sword. Not because she doesn’t need to use it, but because she doesn’t need a sword to be strong.

Quillon: An OC I think who is meant to be similar to Raven Inkwell for Celestia, but Quillon is Luna’s servant. However, he feels like he’s just here to serve  the message to Luna, rather than have a lot of his own characteristics which is a shame because he could have been some pony interesting to learn about. But I get it, the focus is Luna, and he’s only here to support her. He serves his role well, but I wish he had a bit more meat to him.

7/10

The writing was actually really solid. I didn’t find any errors.
10/10

The whole “Luna is sad” thing has been overdone to death, and yet this isn’t really a sad story. Sure, ,Luna does have to go through that phase of figuring herself out, but it’s more melancholic and cathartic that it doesn’t come off as a “Luna is sad” story, and that was something I felt made this stand out from most other Luna tales I’ve read. 

The execution is simple and forward. It feels like Sleepless knew exactly what he wanted to do, and didn’t need to complicate it. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Not every story has to be complex, and deep. Sometimes we all just need a break and want to allow our minds to wander, and this is a great story for that.

8/10

This is a really good story, there’s nothing complex in it’s writing, and the subtext about Luna and her sword is very easy to pick up. While I wish the Oc had more to him, the focus is where it should be on, Luna. And that’s perfectly fine. I would recommend this story to any fan of Luna, and any fan of short stories that are easy to absorb, and wonderfully delightful.

Final score: 7+8+8+10+8=41/50

Non score: Recommended. 

To the author: Keep up the good work, there was a good amount of things done right here, and I can really see how far you have come, since I looked at Goddess.

To the reader: Recommended for Luna fans, and oneshot fans.

Notes: There are no notes for this review.