TRegression: Isekai of Equestria

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Adventure
• Sad

Jack was once a rising senior at CCU, but now he and a large chunk of South Carolina have been sent to Equestria and to top it off he's been turned into a 7-year-old.

• Violence
• Gore
• Death
• Profanity
• Human
• Alt. Universe
• Celestia
• Luna
• OC
• Main 6
• CMCs

JackofEquestria · 206k words  ·  177  61 · 5.1k views

This story starts with what should have been a cataclysmic event, parts of Carolina and our protagonist gets transported into Equestria by unknown means. This alone should have had terrible consequences for Equestria itself but I digress. We then go along with a somewhat standard HIE; the human is found and brought to Ponyville where he resides waiting for anything to happen.

In this case Jack, the protagonist, is a troubled individual with a severe form of autism which leads to himself getting into trouble because of it, fortunately he has enough medicine with him to manage for a while but every so often has to return to the island of California to resupply. The story goes on to introduce new villains, one of them is an alicorn, yes yes, I know.

In any case we are shown these new super villains who are not really that much of a threat so far, one even is a somewhat ally of Jack. But I’m rambling, let’s go in steps.

So from a descriptive standpoint the fic holds its weight, it's not an unbearable amount of detail and written description, the problem lies with Jack himself for this category, the protagonist is plagued with psychological problems stemming from a troubled past. The fact is that it is not from his autism, he had really bad friends and classmates. 

I’m not trying to say that it is not bad but the core problem here should have been the already problematic autism. There was no real reason to make everyone else a douche, that being said it is unfortunately realistic. It happens, it just so happens that he was more delicate than others and now those scars are resurfacing again. 

Fortunately for Jack the ponies are far more trusting and forgiving than humans, that being said they also have their own problems and in this case we will use Fluttershy as an example. Yes, dear Fluttershy gets a bit too overprotective of him and now thinks of him as her child. Problem is, Jack is not a child at all. Yes he may have the body of one but not the mind.

This problem is pointed out during the fic and actually almost resolved with an agreement of some sort, I won’t go into the details of it. But the gist of it is that the Author actually addressed a problem that plagues many fics and actually fixes it, kudos to him really.

The story continues up until we find out that humans already appeared in Equestria, all of them brought their nationality with them and influenced the world in some way. Some helped, some didn’t. And with this we reconnect to the villains we talked about. We have the alicorn, who is german speaking, a dutch, a japanese and an italian so far. 

No it’s not the start of a joke, the author actually tries to make their speech patterns a bit intriguing by mixing English with their mother tongue, which I personally like. But let’s get back to Jack, he has chaos powers that can control plants, and apparently every human has a some kind of second personality which is there to help them use their powers considering that controlling dozens of plants and their own body may be too difficult for a normal human brain, because of it they act like extra brain power and decent conversations holders.

I won’t touch the multitudes of times where Jack had a mental problem, they are a lot and they are very good to read so I won’t ruin them. 

Now let’s talk about what people may be interested in the most, autism. Yes ladies and gentlemen this Author doesn’t shy away from using the right words for stuff and neither does Jack, he tells that to everybody or should I say everypony. There is nothing bad about it, the only problem is that it is a weirdly known unknown, let me explain.

Everyone knows what autism is, in theory. But not many know what it is exactly. What are the symptoms, the problems and the possible cures needed for an autistic person, those are all neglected and this is where our Author comes into the picture showing us what an autist does, how it behaves with people and society at large, how he sees himself and especially how he can control himself. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if the story itself is just a very adorned and well thought pamphlet to raise awareness. And this is where some readers may have a problem, most don’t like to see impossibly perfect characters, but they also don’t want to see them being problematic. And you may say, “But Fire, there are a lot of stories with soldiers having PTSD.” Yes, but autism is a reality of our time, something that everyone to some level may have had contact with, war isn’t. 

The vast majority of people that read this site never went near a military base, so seeing their favourite hero struggling with PTSD means very little, because they can’t imagine themselves in it. Autism though, that’s a whole other pill to swallow, that’s because no one wants to be shunned and being autistic, as terrible as it is really creates a situation where people get shunned. I’m not a psychiatrist so I will stop here, but this is what I believe is the most concerning thing about the story, the fact that the readers of it will shun it because it is different and difficult to understand if not downright terrifying. 

SCORES!

Core Idea: 6/10 originality to some degree, I will say that Isekai is not really the most used trope on the site but HIE is, so sorry for that. 

Grammar: 8/10 It could help some more polishing to add more details and explanations, some fights are a bit rushed and leave the reader behind. 

Pacing: 9/10 great work there, the villains are getting introduced slowly but steadily and they actually live up to their name for now, we will see how that will hold up.

Final score: 7.7/10 a good work, one that deserves more love than what it has, that’s why I strongly recommend to read it, maybe it's not your cup of tea, but it deserves the recognition for being brave enough to do what many wouldn’t. 

For the Author, continue down your road, I will be watching you.

P.s: Morte is really cool, I’m not biased cause I’m italian and I certainly won’t subtract a million points if he dies. Promise. All jokes aside though, I appreciate the effort to make him speak italian sometimes but it is a bit awkward hehe, don’t let this discourage you though.

*For archive purpouse 7.7*

Thanks for the review. I've actually been having trouble finding the motivation to sit down and write more (thanks to some pesky real-life stuff.) This is just what I needed to motivate me to continue.
Glad you like Morte, by the way. Out of my OCs, he's easily the one I'm most proud of. I'll do my best to take your advice about adding in more details. I've noticed this problem myself and have been neglecting to fix it properly. I'll try to do better with this in future chapters and am already planning some edits to chapters I've already published (especially some of my latest chapters.) I hope my story will live up to and maybe even surpass your expectations.