TConstrictive Criticism

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

Applejack struggles to find something nice to say about students who aren't.

• Applejack

forbloodysummer · 1.1k words  ·  38  3 · 949 views

This one… this one was weird.

Personally this story wasn’t really what I was expecting going in, based on what information I had from the story description and genre tags. The story is about Applejack grading papers and struggling with the concepts of being honest or lying about it, but I think the author absolutely intended for this story to be a commentary on a larger conversation, specifically about the idea of being critical. Let’s hit it.

The plot felt extremely secondary here. Applejack’s grading some papers and that’s really that happens in the sense of the plot. A lot of time in the story is instead focused on what’s going on in her head and the internal debate that feels more core to this story than this plotline could.

The story itself measures at about 1,000 words in its expanded edition so the plotline here feels extremely brief. Because of that we can almost take it out completely to focus on what really matters to the story without a lot of consequence. So all in all? The plot didn’t stand out and wasn’t really impressive. Then again, for the purposes of this story, it doesn’t really need to stand out or be relevant at all. 

Our character at play here is Applejack, and she’s quite literally the perfect pony to be the mouthpiece for this topic. But is she truly well characterized here?

For me, it’s a bit hard to say. I think parts of it is that the story is so brief that even if the entire story is in her head, I can’t quite figure out if it’s got a good grasp on her character or not. There definitely are some spots where the narration fit her voice, but the majority of it just felt like base narration to me.

But I think one of the bigger things here is that so much of the plot elements and storyline are way above Applejack. So much of what’s at play is literally out of her hooves, and so much of it is mentioned as being an affecting force on her decision. The school board, Twilight, even the rowdy students, all of those drive the plot but none of those physically appear in the story. Their presence is felt, sure, but at most mentioned in passing. And honestly I don’t know how to feel about that. 

This entire story, I feel, is about one central claim: that requiring criticism to be constructive is a bad idea. Applejack exemplifies this idea by working around the flaws of the students and writing complimentary report cards instead. 

And I think this is where I have a problem with this.

Maybe I’m alone in this matter, but to me there is a bit of a line when I read my fanfiction. I don’t mind realistic elements or ideas woven into stories, and at time I do quite enjoy them. But this… this didn’t feel enjoyable to me.

It instead felt like it was the author’s commentary on their thoughts about constructive criticism rather than a story about Applejack grading report cards. And pardon me if I sound crass, but I’m just frankly not that interested in reading about commentary on constructive criticism when I want to be reading a story.

That’s not to say I don’t welcome the discussion or the debate, but I set out to review a story. What I got instead was a debate claim, and that did sort of turn me off a little bit. 

I guess I’ll put forth some claims about what I think of criticism. I do see the harm that can come with mindless praise but I disagree with the author that mindless praise to the point of dishonesty is the main idea of constructive criticism.

I believe, and I could be wrong, that the story is in a sense saying ‘if something is bad, say it’s bad.’ I’m not sure I agree with this claim either (and I apologize if this isn’t what the author is implying). Because I believe that the author as a person factors into this, and even if a work isn’t that great, what is accomplished by simply telling them ‘this is bad?’ That runs the risk of destroying their psyche and dissuading them from writing again.

I’m not arguing for the polar opposite of sugar coating either. Mindless praise can be just as harmful after all if criticisms are overlooked and not brought up. But I’d like to believe, as someone who is tasked with giving criticism, that there lies a middle ground somewhere in there. Because every story has its strengths and weaknesses, and both should be taken into account in the end.

And finally, should there be a time when there is generally nothing to praise, then I agree with the claim that one should not make up something to say when there is nothing good to say at all. But where this line actually is is hard to say. 

I’ll take a note from Applejack here and be honest: I didn’t really like this story. It felt like commentary vaguely disguised as a story, and while that’s fine for those who want to read it, I expected a story and was left disappointed.

In regards to the central claims and ideas I frankly just want to leave it with I don’t exactly agree. I don’t really have the time nor energy to get drawn into a long-term debate about all of this stuff. Perhaps another time.

But I think that I have a problem with where this story seems to lead. Sure, ‘rude’ critiques should not be instantly discarded, but I myself have seen some very rude critiques that absolutely should be discarded because… well frankly because they were really really bad critiques.

But at the same time, giving criticism is a skill as much as taking criticism is a skill. There are definitely people out there who would benefit from learning how to take criticism that isn’t mindless praise, but in the same coin, there are people who would benefit from phrasing their feedback so it isn’t unnecessarily derogatory.

I think that’s frankly all I really want to say on the matter.

If you are interested in the debate surrounding constructive criticism, maybe this is the story for you. But if you want fanfiction, I wouldn’t recommend this since the commentary weighs heavier than the story. 

Perhaps I made a lot of assumptions I shouldn’t have made. If I have feel free to correct me and I’ll concede to whatever it was you really meant. But if you expect me to debate about it… I really don’t have it in me to do that. Sorry. 

(For archive: V)

7376166 Thanks, this is a good review

I agree, no plot here in terms of events, it's all about the debate in Applejack's head.

I agree about the characterisation, I might even have gone harsher. Applejack most sounds like Applejack in dialogue, and this story has none. I don't think there are many lines in the prose that don't sound like Applejack, but there aren't many that do sound like her either, if you get what I mean. I agree, it's more generic prose voice for a lot of it.

I hadn't even thought about the external forces on the plot going unseen, that's a really good point! Definitely something I will keep in mind going forwards.

I can completely see how you'd be put off coming in for a story, this is more a character moment. I would be more inclined to disagree with the suggestion that the story isn't what you'd expect from the description, and I'm unsure what I could say that might be more accurate?

Philosophically, actually I don't think we're far off being on the same page about it. I would absolutely agree that criticism achieves far more when it's constructive in almost all circumstances. This story is about the far end extreme cases, where the total forbidding of more hardline criticism has caused something of a crisis, as I think you can see from the example student answers. But that's on me, I should have made that more clear early on in the story, and I completely get why you took away a different angle from it to what I'd intended.

Partly I think the problem is that it's specifically constructive criticism mentioned in the title, and that that's the phrase we usually go to. Whereas that's not really so much of the problem here, the issue is the other bit of the guidelines, saying that feedback should be positive and focus on students' successes. I'd say these students don't need telling they're doing great in this 10% of the course, they need to be told they're failing the other 90%, and if they don't turn that around soon they won't pass the class. Which is constructive, in a way, but not positive and certainly doesn't focus on their successes.

Perhaps I should have gone with a different title.

I really appreciate your candour over not really liking the story and why. I will bear this feedback in mind for next time. Thank you for taking the time to read and review

7376225

No problem!

I think there are still ways to show characterization even without dialogue. Some countryisms or references to other members of the Apple Family are the easiest way I can think of, but yeah, a lot of it sadly sounded like stock narration rather than her voice.

Let me clarify my expectations: I read the description and saw the SOL tag and thought I was going to read about Applejack struggling through report cards, and in a sense that is what you gave me, but I expected that to be bigger than what it was, if that makes sense.

I should have mentioned this seemed to be an extreme case in the review, whoops!

Thanks for writing!