EFiddlefids

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Friends don't let friends date soldier colts!

• Alt. Universe
• OC

applezombi · 2.1k words  ·  62  1 · 640 views

In a small outpost near the war front with the griffons, a young apprentice tailor named Needle Point learns the ins and outs of living this close to a large military camp.

Specifically, the dangers of becoming romantically entangled with a soldier pony.

But youth is the perfect time to break rules and make mistakes. Especially when the cutest military medic ever drifts into Needle Point's shop, looking for some thread.

Part of our Valentine's Day Special Series, with a new review each day leading up to Valentine's Day.

Opening remarks

Fiddlefids is a slice of life romance by appezombi about the blossoming love between Needle Point and an alleged cute military pony. I’ve read applezombi’s work before and enjoyed those stories previously, so, let’s dive right in. 

Note: This story is a side story to applezombi’s Rekindled Embers. I have not read that story and this story will be reviewed based on its own merits separated from its source. 

Technical

There is some odd sentence structure, particularly in the beginning, and odd period placement in the text. Otherwise, the story is still very readable. 

8/10

Character

There are three main characters in this story: Needle Point, Cashmere, and Textile. All are Original Characters (OCs) and, overall, applezombi has done a good job of establishing them within the short 2000 words of the fic. 

All three very much follow standard story archetypes. Needle Point is the naive young mare, Cashmere the jaded older mentor, and Textile the bashful young stallion here to seduce our girl with his awkward charm. All of them perform their roles adequately within the script and are enjoyable to read with definable personalities. 

However, though perfectly fine for the purposes of the plot, they very much tread upon familiar grounds. Each character fits their role well and there are small mannerisms that help to add much needed depth, but they still very much stay within their given archetypes. Needle Point is the biggest example of this as she, more than the others, feels like a template, a sort of vehicle for the reader to immerse themselves in the budding romance. 

Despite going down familiar routes, the characters are enjoyable and very entertaining.  

8.5/10

Concept

The description of the story is decent if a bit overly wordy, and the hook, though somewhat awkwardly structured, does a good job of drawing the reader into the events of the plot. 

Now, I’m aware of this story as a side reading to the main behemoth Rekindled Embers, and I am glad to see that this is a complement to the main storyline not just a hook into the main plot. The story stands by itself and there was never a point where I felt a need to be given context to the events taking place.

Smaller details about the world and the military culture were welcome additions. They hint at the larger picture and do a good job of selling the idea of the world beyond the small store the story takes place in. 

Execution is decent, making the entire read a very playful and enjoyable romp. Though, the plot itself very much follows the traditional trappings of a romance with very little to separate it from the familiar plot beats.

That being said, the story is still a solid execution and enjoyable to read.  

8/10

Vibe

Right off the top, this story is a very cute fluffy romance. It hits the right notes and has all the wholesome goodness of two newbies that have no idea what they are doing.

That being said, there are some issues with the flow of the story. The first issue is the sentence structure. Particularly near the beginning are some awkward transitional sentences. A big stand out is where the flow from the opening statement of Cashmere to the thoughts of Needle Point and finally the customer that enters the store feels off. The words kind of cut into each other and crowd for space in an otherwise banger opening. 

Another major point of contention is the pacing of the story. It feels too fast. The resolutions, the thought processes, and everything in between just feel like they speed on by without taking the time to marinate in the burgeoning feelings. I think that taking a moment to slow down the story and give the characters time to act on their emotions would lead well to making the fic feel better paced. 

All that being said, the story nails its genre and leaves the reader with warm feelings at the possibilities presented by the ending.  

7/10

Closing Thoughts

Overall, Fiddlefids is an enjoyable slice of life romance with just the right amount of depth to leave the reader with the warm and fuzzies. I give this a recommendation to read. 

7.8/10

Personal Score

I liked this. It was short and cute with just the right amount of emotional depth to make things interesting. A well done story about blossoming romance between two young love birds. 

7/10