TRarity Gives "The Talk"

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

Spike wanted to know where foals come from. In related news, Rarity had one of her strangest days ever.

• Sex
• Twilight
• Rarity
• Spike

ThePinkedWonder · 3.8k words  ·  189  11 · 3.3k views

Review: Rarity Gives “The Talk”

Tags: [Sex], [Comedy], [Slice of Life]

Summary:  Spike wants to learn how babies are born.  So, he asked Rarity than twilight or looked it up in the library.

Data Analysis: This fiction is the most great fiction that I read today as a review.  The flow is nice and it clearly suits it.  However, there is a difference between describing it and doing it.  Let alone that the viewers that spike is underage.  When a child asks a question on what it is it means that the parents or adults must give them a best description.  It’s not child abuse if one adult decribes it to them for learning what it means.  However, doing it is another thing (Censor  we all know where i’m trying to go with this but i’m censoring it for another mature fiction)

Critic:  The flow is great. It's clearly gone pretty good. I have to give it at least an 8. The idea of it is also great in return which I give it an 8 as well.  Dialog choices are good. I give it an 8 as well. However, the grammar is a bit off and led me to give it a 6.

My point of view and opinions:  

Never ever do this…  (Hello...Ho)  putting words together with the > … <
You don’t need to capitalize all words on Full grown mare… unless it’s a title of a book, fiction or a name of a pony title.
You don’t need to put star emojis in a fiction… it’s not professional writing.
Using / is only good if it’s a fraction for numbers… but / in a different way when using it… there is no need for it.

The final score is at least a 7/10

7486601

Thanks a lot for the review!

When you said the grammar was a bit off, was that what you went into on your point of view and opinions section, or was it something you saw? I wanted to ask so I can make sure it's something I just overlooked when editing and not someithing I'm doing unknowingly.

7486629
yes that's what I saw.

7486637

Okay. I think that was the only question I had, so thanks again for the review