Greetings fellow review enthusiasts. I am once again back in the world of horse words, although I regret my involvement is not what it once was. But best save the semantics for a blog. On to the review!

TCompanion

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

A fashion empire at the top of its field. A social calendar in great demand. And being the companion of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Sovereign of Equestria. It's everything Rarity had ever wanted. So she's happy, right?

• Sex
• Twilight
• Applejack
• Rarity

Bicyclette · 4.8k words  ·  108  17 · 2.8k views

SUMMARY
The story of a simple interaction between Rarity and Twilight, or so it would seem. But their relationship is far from simple, and age certainly has a way of complicating things for our dear fashion horse.

A wonderfully emotive work, this story by Bicyclette is an introspective look into the somewhat troubled life of an older Rarity with elements that border between philosophically intriguing and emotionally disturbing. Regardless, there are some excellent examples of storytelling and characterization to be found in the work.

LANGUAGE - Excellent (9/10)
Style:
This story demonstrates a clear understanding of how to use style to convey emotive elements of a story. I enjoy the simple yet impactful statements the author places at key points in the story, such as these two very short sentences that appear at the beginning and end:

Rarity loved Twilight.

This made Rarity glad. Because Rarity loved Twilight.

There is nothing particularly eloquent or inventive in the language here, yet it has a poetic quality that conveys the atmosphere of the story.

The pacing throughout the story is well controlled through deliberately short, separate sentences at important moments, such as this excerpt:

She got to work.

She tried to not let her mind wander.

Her mind wandered.

These three sentences set up a dive into Rarity's thoughts, which aside from being well voiced, have this interesting structure which I found to be really creative on my second read through. The thoughts themselves meander through lengthy paragraphs, but repeatedly, as the thoughts seem to approach some painful conclusion, the steady flow is interrupted with a short, sharp rebuttal or a simple, direct "no".

Mechanics:
Very few issues with mechanics. The only thing I noticed was the conversation between Rarity and Twilight at the beginning of the story - occasional sentences which are used to modify dialogue are paragraphed separately or in the wrong order (i.e. the tone of a reply Twilight made is described in past tense before the reply itself).

Mood and Tone:
There are frequent uses of italics in dialogue to establish the tone of the characters. While I do not personally advocate for the use of italics, they seem to get the job done here and add some flavor to the voicing of the characters.

SETTING - Good (8/10)
For a short story, the setting has a surprising amount of depth and lore that contributes to the overall aesthetic. However, that aesthetic is slightly unsettling and thus undermines some of feelings of romance; this is captured by the following excerpt, which while a wonderful bit of world-building, taints the core relationship of the story:

She knew that before Her, sovereigns did not have spouses or consorts or companions or marefriends or any of those kind euphemisms.

Sovereigns had concubines.

However, this idea is well-executed. The excerpt above is effective in conveying how Rarity has changed because it begins with a simple, seamless description of Rarity's altered cutie mark and leads to the raw statement of why this is.

The rest of the setting is well-done and interacts seamlessly with the characters. The following quote is an excellent example of how the setting can be used to convey the feelings of a character:

In this pristinely kept chamber of antiseptic perfection, all she could think about were those muddy hooves.

CHARACTERS - Good 8/10
While Bicyclette's characters bear strong resemblance to the those from the show, these are not the same ponies. They are older and carry with them the scars of very real, and unfair, life. In some ways, this gives them a unique depth, but in other ways they seem be disturbingly devoid of life.

As the character of Rarity is the primary focus of this story, I shall begin with her. Her characterization is well-executed through her reactions towards Twilight, the physical descriptions of her mane and body, and the path her thoughts take. The voicing is also well done, but something seems off about her; I will reference this quote to highlight:

It’s quite all right, darling. I cannot possibly imagine the burdens you bear.” Rarity’s smile had a tinge of sorrow that she would not have let out had Twilight been facing her. “You are the love of my life.”

This quote suggests the love and comfort Rarity draws from Twilight and possibly the happiness she feels. However, as I read this story, the sadness of Rarity seemed to dominate over her supposed happiness, leaving me confused as to what she was actually feeling. There is a simple reason for this: Rarity's sadness is almost always shown, while her happiness is told. Compare the previous excerpt to this one later on as Rarity is reminiscing about Applejack:

Real love is what she sees between Applejack and Rainbow Dash now. The easy smiles that are so much better than manic, self-obliterating grins. The soft hoofholds that are worth a thousand melodramatic love poems scribbled on diamond-printed stationary. Two solid willow trees, growing into each other.

Real love is—

Rarity blinked as she realized her mascara was running.

The character of Twilight is interesting, perhaps because of how distant and insensitive she seems. Her speech to Rarity at the beginning is a nice bit of characterization for both her and Rarity. The greatest bit of characterization, though, is in the contrast of young to old between the two. This is best captured by the recurring roleplay the two have:

“Of course!” Twilight agreed as she stared off beyond Rarity. “Oh, I can’t wait to meet the Princess! She’ll take time just for me, and we can talk all about magic and what I’ve learned and seen. It’s going to be so special!” Her eyes focused back on Rarity. “We’ll have the best night ever at the Gala!”

Twilight beamed. Rarity could practically see the stars in her eyes. [...]

She’d seen it so many times before that it was all too predictable. But she knew that for this moment, Twilight was happy. It didn’t matter that it wouldn’t last.

The past plays a role in defining both characters. For Twilight, Rarity is a way to cling to the past, to remember and cherish it against the inevitable fading away. To Rarity, though, Twilight is a way to move beyond her past and perhaps claim some bit of joy for herself before her time is up. In either case, it creates a relationship between the two that is remarkably complex and sad.

PLOT/THEMATIC DEVELOPMENT - Good 8/10
Although the plot is not at the forefront of this story, the exploration of Rarity's internal state offers a sense of progress for the reader in understanding the where characters are at in this story. The conflict itself is uncomfortable, to put it lightly - it is implied that is has existed in it's current state for some time, and the conclusion of the story does not seem to suggest that it will be resolved. Rarity and Twilight are living a lie, and it is destroying what they once were. This excerpt captures this sense that the two "lovers" are clinging to a lie:

Twilight smiled at that, but Rarity could tell Twilight was sad about that particular detail. Yet she smiled for her anyway. Just as Rarity had feigned her excitement for Twilight in turn.

Isn’t that what love is?

Rarity continued.

[...]

“Companion”. That was the word they had settled on, with “marefriend” and “lover” sounding too unserious, and “partner” sounding too equal.

Another way to describe the plot of this story is how it seems to exist in this precarious, fragile balance; it is easier for the characters to ignore, to cover up the issue rather than address it. The author does a wonderful job of conveying this through Rarity's cutie mark, which is altered due to her "companion" status to Twilight.

Twilight continued smiling as she looked down at her, then looked further down at Rarity’s flank and frowned. Rarity’s eyes followed her gaze to her cutie mark. To the right of the trio of diamonds was a crack of gold.

“Oh, I do apologize. I must have—”

Twilight interrupted her. “No, it must’ve been when I hugged you with my wings. I wasn’t careful.” She looked at Rarity, who began to stand up, not having to be told what to do next. Twilight spoke up.

Really good writing that shows.

My final point is about an opportunity I believe the author missed, or just wasn't developed as strongly. This is the strong symbolic importance attached to mud. It is mentioned in Twilight's monologue at the beginning of the story and again when Rarity is remembering Applejack, but the two do not seem to be connected or developed beyond their immediate role as a sensory detail in the former and a characterization in the latter. This detail is not a detractor, though, just something I noticed on my subsequent read through.

FINAL THOUGHTS
The elements of this story are well-done, and there are subtleties that I was able to see on subsequent reads. The world-building details are great, albeit disturbing in context. The author is able to capture that deeply unsettling feeling of a toxic relationship while staying true to the character of Rarity.

I can not say the same for the author's treatment of Twilight - I would argue that she is almost painted as an antagonist in this story and that is deeply unsettling. While I enjoy the realistic complexity of their relationship as shown here, it is sad nonetheless and not really my cup of tea.

Overall, Good story. 8.25/10

Score guide
Please note that I have revised how I assign scores to reviews. The new system should generate scores more consistent with other reviewers on the site.
Unsatisfactory: 0-3
Fair: 4-6
Good: 7-8
Excellent: 9-10

Thanks so much for the review!

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7471887
The biggest issue I have with this story is, understandably, characterization. And between Twilight and Rarity, I gotta say I actually find Rarity to be the one who was more out-of-character. Maybe it's my bias as Rarity's my favorite pony, but I don't feel the Rarity in the story is any similar to the strong, confident and independent Rarity in the show. In this story she's almost like a shadow, miserably hanging on to a corpse of a relationship. The story spends a lot of time showing her misery, and by that, inadvertently making it worse, making her ever more pathetic. On the other hand, it doesn't go far enough in asking difficult question and explore the philosophy so the readers can understand the justification in staying in such a relationship from Rarity's perspective. It gets somewhat frustrated toward the end because one can tell there are many deeper things that can be discussed, that can be asked about why they were trapped in that relationship, about the moral and emotional ambiguity of such a relationship, but all we get is a miserable pony wailing in her own mind.