TThe Elements in Harmony

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Comedy

These four heroes must stop the evil. It’s kind of a given. Only problem is, the first is half blind and as heavy as a rock, the second can’t touch anything, the third is also blind and can’t touch the ground, and the fourth can barely exist.

• Human
• Zecora
• Main 6
• CMCs
• Maud Pie

No One and Nobody · 71k words  ·  70  5 · 2.1k views

The elements in harmony give a solid premise to its beginning, a lone human is put inside the body of an earth elemental, now with no way to know where he is or what he should do he sets off to find a way home. But he is not alone, four more elementals are in his similar condition, air, water and fire.

All of them have unique attributes and weaknesses, all of them will have to work together to actually save the world of the ponies from an untold disaster. The problem is so dire that not even the elements of harmony can take care of it, so everything rests on their shoulders.

The story is a unique one, it has some comedy in it but if scratched a bit it shows a deeper meaning, especially regarding what the characters are up to and what the moral really is. It is also very peculiar regarding its ending which will most likely surprise a lot of you  reader out there.

Characters are easily identifiable and realistic in their context, they have solid backstories and motives, they have flaws and strengths all in all they are very realistic and nitpicked. In order we are introduced to Thomas, the earth elemental, then to Mira, the carefree air elemental. Next in line is Lucas, water incarnate. 

The final one is the strangest of the bunch and allegedly the easiest to snuff out. Michael is Mira's younger brother, easy to anger and prone to violence he easily is the best candidate to represent fire. 

The story goes on with some minor adventure but it doesn’t derail from the original plot which is good, we will be introduced to other elementals as well but I won’t say anymore.

So what is in it for the reader? A good story for sure, one that can be seen as a curious experience and one that you can easily remember throughout the journey of visiting stories left and right. While not a 10/10 masterpiece it still gives out a nice reading with a pleasant entertaining story.

Scores!

Core Idea: 8/10 peculiar, intriguing and with a very good ending, good good.

Pacing: 7/10 Sometimes a bit rushed and sometimes a bit slow, needs some polish. Overall it is not bad and won’t seriously kill the story but it is still something to note.

Grammar: 10/10 It is flawless and contains enough details and description to be seen and actually imagined in the mind, a wonderful job.

Total score: 8.3/10 A good job, it is a nice read and one that I recommend others to read as well.

For the Author, you did a wonderful job and you should feel proud of yourself, Bravo.

7449187
Thank you very much for the kind review.
Honestly, I wasn't expecting such a high score. This story was more an experiment for me into better scene description (as an engineer I figured my writing was a little too dry and goal-oriented) that started with the initial question I wonder what it would feel like to be a rock....
I also wanted to write an adventure about a misjudged monster/hero after reading What I've Become. However, the farther in I got the more I feel that idea kind of dropped off.
Personally, I thought 'elements' (pun intended) of the core idea were interesting, but I always felt the monster was a little on the weak side. OK, I need some kind of baddy for the good guys to face... Giant Inset! I'll work out the bugs later. I'm glad you liked it.
As for the pacing, I totally agree with you (if not more). When I started writing the story I wanted to focus more on Thomas and exploring Equestria. I was in college at the time and my writing was more 'stream of consciousness'. After I graduated and came back to the story to finish it (I hate it took me so long), I felt like I'd fleshed out the characters a bit more and, with the help of Maud, Rosy, Jug and Sandy I came up with what I felt was a satisfying end to their story.
As for my grammar grade... I'm speechless. I could have sworn there were mistakes, bad writing and poorly worded bits in there somewhere.
Once again, thank you for the wonderful review and have a blessed day.

7449475
A deserved one for a deserving story