EA Will of Iron

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Random

There is one truth all minotaurs know. A truth they learned in the ancient days with the father of their nation. Dreams could only be achieved through sweat, blood, tears and an iron will.

• Alt. Universe
• Minotaur

Greatazuredragon · 3.1k words  ·  167  1 · 2.2k views

Summary: A young minotaur on the brink of adulthood goes to learn about his clan’s proud history from his wise grandfather. Of the duty and legacy he now must uphold.

He is told of the beginnings of his species proud nation. Of the great deeds of their forefather, and how, through his indomitable will, he reshaped the world itself despite all odds and hardships.

That, in the end, there is no greater strength than an unbreakable will

WARNING: This review contains SPOILERS. Read with caution.

Initial thoughts: I picked up this story from the general folder because it looked interesting. I don't often see many stories about Minotaurs. I think Iron Will gave a bad impression of them when it comes to canon Minotaurs. But how's the story? Overall, it is a retelling of the classic "Will vs power", which I will break more into when we talk about the heart of the story. BUT for now, I thought the overall story had this geniune heartfelt, yet somewhat heavy impact to it, and yet the ending, well it ends in a comedic way, which I don't think works for the story as a whole. What we have here is good, and I enjoyed it, but I feel like there were some missed opportunities. 7/10

Heart of the Story: The "heart" is the grandfather's story to his grandson. The legend of Burning Will and his struggle to unite the Minotaurs as a family rather than a bunch of brutes. The way it transitions from the grandfather to the story is a very solid way to use a flashback, to help progress the story. So kudos there.

Now "Will vs Power" what does this mean? When you are writing a piece like this, it can be easy to fall into some of the pitfalls like making a character overpowered, or giving them a weapon that allows them to succeed. This story does give Burning Will gauntlets, but it's the symbolism that he has the will and determination to fight for what he believes in, knowing he very well will die if he loses. Burning Will comes off as a strong character, and it is through his struggle that we are able to connect to the minotuars of now, and see how his grandson will learn.

Overall, I felt this was an effective way to avoid the common pitfalls assiciated with this style of story, and the author does a good job at selling it. I just felt the ending was a bit on the comedic side which doesn't fit the rest of the tone of the piece. 8/10

Characterization:
Burning Will: This is the character we spend the most time with, so what's he like and how does he help the story? This story is about him and how his willpower to save his race from an unjust and unkind ruler was strong enough to grant him the blessing of the Gods. Burning Will knows he could die in the fight against the leader, but is aware he must sacfrice something for the better of their race, knowing that he still goes into the fight against the leader. It makes him feel real, knowing you have to face something that isn't pleasant is never easy, and he doesn't really know what will happen if he die to the leader. Then when he does get the blessing, it gives him the courage he needs to raise up to the occasion.

Grandfather: The grandfather here is like the "narrator" he is the one telling us the story, but we are the grandson here, and he's telling it to him. He doesn't have a whole lot of character, since most of his role is to simply tell us about Burning Will, and pass on that wisdom to his grandson.

Grandson: The audience/readers. The grandson gets very brief characterization, but it's just enough that he doesn't feel flat, and is very wise for how young he is. I expected more rawness to come from a young Minotaur, but I also understand why that didn't happen.

Bronze Bell: She's basically the wife/mate of Burning Will, and her main contribution to the story is that she yells at Burning Will not to fight the leader for she cares for him deeply. I feel the story could easily work without her but I also understand why he wanted to put her in.
8/10

Story/Concept: The story itself is fine, the whole passing on the legend to the next generation is a common and old concept but it is executed well here. There's no much to say here for I don't feel the author needs to do much to make this better than what it already is.

Now let's talk about that ending, because I want to address the elephant in the room. Most people don't read the author's notes, so they won't know the "joke" about General Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist, so it makes the ending feel out of place for anyone that doesn't get the joke. I also felt like the joke at the end wasn't really needed. The story works just fine without it, you don't even need to tell us that the gauntlets have been passed on for generations and generations, we could clearly tell that when he speaks of his ancestors and how this story has been told over and over again. So it just made the ending stick out like a sore thumb. It's not so bad that it made me dislike the story, but if you don't have that context from the author's notes, I'd imagine you'd have questions about why it was ended in such a way.

9/10

Originality/Execution: The originality isn't really here story wise, but the use of Minotaurs is. So I will give points for using a race that isn't ponies to tell this story. The execution could have been refined a bit more, as the part with Burning Will does drag on a little bit, but not to an annoying extend. 8/10

Overall thoughts and final score: I enjoyed this tale, as simple as it was about the telling of a legend, the story feels very much like one you would tell around a campfire. It's full of depth, emotionally gripping, and is sure to leave you with plenty to think on long ater you've read it.

Final score: 7+8+8+9+8=40/50
8/10

Headpat worthy: Yes
Boop worthy:
Meh worthy:

To the author: Keep up the great work, this tale was quite the interesting showcase of how one can take a simple premise that's been done to death, and find a new way to tell it. It was engaging, and I really enjoyed getting to review this piece.

Next time we have "Consonance and Dissonance by Applezombi." See you soon~!

7355019
Heh, fun fact. The joke at the end kinda hit me on the head out of nowhere and that's what led me to write the story.
Glad you liked it nonethless, thanks for the review.