Description

When a disgruntled woman gets a hold of Equestrian magic, Fluttershy and Sugarcoat find themselves under attack by swarms of insects in the park!

A short, quick-paced adventure tale in the vein of superhero comics.

Initial Thoughts

A self-disclosed superhero fic with an odd pairing: Fluttershy and Sugarcoat. And also a warning for Entomophobes; how kind! Luckily I’m not that sort of person, so I can read through this without fear of needing to flee. 

Mild spoilers ahead.

Summary

Magic in the hands of a middle-aged discontent means… well, power goes to her head. With bugs invading the peaceful providence of a park unabated, it’s up to Fluttershy and Sugarcoat to save the day. 

Plot

The plot is self-explanatory, fun, and honest with its premise: Lavender Shrub goes mad with Equestrian magic, and that is a problem that our favorite Human Equestrians need to solve. So it’s easy to understand, and easy to read, but it’s also short. How Shrub comes across this Equestrian magic, for example, is just… there. The magical cane appears in her apartment without much reason or explanation, and Lavender succumbs to its influence almost too easily. 

Admittedly, what issues the story holds stem from the fact that the inciting incident feels a bit shallow, but that’s due to the story’s short length. While that proves the largest criticism I have, it also means that the merits of the story should be regarded through that lens. 

Score - 8 / 10

Characterization

The villain, Lavender Shrub, felt… flat. Understandably, she fits the role of a Typical Comic Book Villain, but she also just can’t be taken as any sort of serious threat. It fits the theme of villains in the EqG specials, but some nuance feels criminally lacking. 

I enjoyed the superhero dynamic that Fluttershy and Sugarcoat had to bear, and the fact that they didn’t hesitate to jump into action and find a way to stop Lavender Shrub. Their characters are true to themselves, and though I haven’t personally seen the special that first paired them up together (which the Author’s Note references), I assume they’re on good terms. But their interactions with each other are limited in both scope and presence. They’re just sort of there together, and while they work, there isn’t much else to it. Again, this seems to be an effect of the short length more than anything.

A longer story would allow for greater character exploration, especially for the villain: why does she care so much for the park, for instance?

Score - 7 / 10

Syntax

There weren’t any noticeable grammatical issues, and the brief sentences, polysyndeton, and short paragraphs fit the intended, brisk, comic book pacing.

Score - 10 / 10 

Final Score - (8 + 7 + 10) / 3 = 8.3 / 10

Final Thoughts

I feel a bit guilty for having a shorter review, but the weird thing is, I didn’t have much more to say about this story. I suppose that’s fitting. A shorter review for an equally short story—but this was overall a fun romp. It accomplishes everything it wanted to do, and while this means the story’s structure isn’t all that dynamic, it still progresses as a fun read.

Thank you very much.

I greatly appreciate your insights.