TAll Things in Time

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Slice of Life

A hundred years have passed since Twilight's coronation. The merely mortal among her generation have passed. A few yet remain, but for how long?

• Death
• Fluttershy
• Twilight
• Pinkie
• Discord

Zontan · 4k words  ·  402  13 · 5.4k views

By Zontan

Summary:
100 years have passed since Twilight took the crown after Celestia and Luna's retirement. Only Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy remain with Twilight, each of them has a spark of something special keeping them past their time.
This was the winner in the 15th Quills and Sofa's Speedwriting contest.

First thoughts:
I Enjoyed this short. It felt like a sweet little slice of life episode we might have had if the show had continued in the future we see in the last episode, even if it would have had a hard time airing because of so many being long gone and the 'target audience' of the show would not have taken it well, but I digress. This story had a lot of emotions flowing through me: sadness, despair, heart-wrenching, remorse for those still trying to continue as more and more of those they knew passed on, and seeing characters like Pumpkin, still a foal in the show, old as Granny Smith if not older.
I could totally call this canon to the show, as I feel the way Pinkie continued on would be just like her, and that being the element of laughter she could never disappoint her friends by dying 'before her work was done'.

Did I like it?: Yes! We all need a good cry now and then, and this story delivers with that. I might not be a fan of the 'Twilight outlives all her friends' trope, but it is done well here and avoids the similar tropes that Twilight's Immortal stories usually fall into, which is good! You did a fantastic job showing just how hard losing someone can be.

What I didn't like: Nothing in particular, though like another user, Sage, said in the comments, I agree that it feels like it could use a short epilogue but is not required. There was one line, when Pumpkin went to stand by her granddaughter, that on first read I got confused on, thinking she was standing by Pinkie, so maybe a little bit of rewording there? Or it might just be this silly reviewer getting confused when she is tired.

The heart of this story strikes you with an arrow and pins you to the wall like one of Pinkie's games of pin the tail on the donkey (or whatever she would use in place of a donkey. A monkey perhaps?) It pulls at the heart strings with every paragraph, even every sentence! Even as a speedwrite that was later revised, some real thought went into this as the author wrote. Of course Pinkie would plan her own funeral, and know WHEN it was going to be, there is nothing more Pinkie than that, using probably her Pinkie senses to know things that seem impossible to know. The sad touch of the cabinet full of canceled parties as more and more have died before her, especially her nearest and dearest friends, just sent the tears running down my face. Pinkie doing her best to make sure everyone she knows and loves can still be happy when she is gone is so touching.
Let's not forget Fluttershy though, the only other remaining of the main six in this story. It just brought me to even more tears how her relationship with Discord was going, and it was just like him to do what he did. I might not have a special somepony of my own, but I do have beloved pets and I know I do my best to make sure they live as long as possible, as it is always so hard to let go. Even more so for a special somepony or a child. it would be hard to add more heart in this story, as it is already on that brink. 10/10

The characterization I felt was quite on par. Twilight was understandably sad and a little distraught about her friends leaving her one by one, but as one would expect from her, she was handling it in a healthy way. Pinkie was entirely Pinkie, or how I can see her being after a hundred more years, and her plans for the end were just what I would imagine her Pinkie Sense would tell her. Fluttershy was her quiet, gentle, soft spoken self and how she treated Discord in their relationship is exactly how I would imagine she would, though I feel she would have spoken up about what he was doing a little earlier than she did. Discord was on par with his care of Fluttershy and hoarding her near him like a dragon's treasure. Though I don't agree with what he did, I do note that I feel he would have acted this way canonically too. 8/10

The story/concept has been done many times since the season3 finale, to varying success, but with avoiding many of the tropes other stories like this seem to always fall into, I'd call this one more unique and that this version of the trope was well done. I wish more stories followed this example of taking a story concept and making it more unique rather than following the same line of bricks to the same end. 8/10

Now for the overall score and my last thoughts;
I enjoyed this story and liked how it did its own thing instead of following the same tropes we see in majority of stories that are similar. Not everyone may I like crying but this reviewer does enjoy a good cry when she needs one, and this story delivers on that well. It pulls at the heart, keeps peeling those onions, and we can all get behind the feels as most if not all reading this will have lost someone close to them, be it a pet, friend, or family member. I quote the words of Fluttershy from this story:

“It’s alright, Twilight. Everything has its time. We’re not really gone, so long as you remember us.”

This I think encompasses the entire feels for the story. We have all lost, and will lose more when it is their time, but long as we still have memories of them, they are never really gone, we can still give a bittersweet smile as we recall them and the adventures we shared.

Zontan knows how to tell a good tale and put those peeling onions to good work, making sure everyone has clean eyes as they feel the sorrows and bittersweet moments that come from losing loved ones. I look forward to more of their work!

Heart: 10/10
Characters: 8/10
Story Concept: 8/10
Overall score: 8.6/10

To Zontan: You are a great writer and really know how to get the tears jerking! I wish I could do a speedwrite as well as you! (I do understand it has been revised since then of course.) This was a great work and I look forward to more strong, emotion filled, stories in the future! I might have gotten confused a little bit, but that was likely more on me than you as I was tired during the first read-through. Continue to work hard and write!

To the readers: If you need a bittersweet, tear jerking, thought provoking story to read, this one will do well for that. We see some of our favorite characters handling death in their own ways and I'm sure one of them could match well with you and help you cope if you are in need.

Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Sorry for making you cry again. =)