EI'm Peachy!

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

With Hearth's Warming fast approaching, Peach Fuzz wants to find the perfect present to make her Dad smile.

• Other

TCC56 · 3.2k words  ·  20  0 · 822 views

I read: Completed at 1 chapter, 3.2k words
I rate: 7/10

I recommend: Read if you like foal characters

Right then. I’m back. Not too sure about better than ever right now, what with having just gotten over a nasty case of swine flu but you know what they say. Work waits for no man. At least we’ve got a nice work to discuss today, hey?

Personally, I’ve got a great deal of respect for single fathers. I’m not going to exposit my entire life story here but a man who can raise a decent kid on his own is a great man in my books - hence why I wanted to review this story, since it involves that. Specifically, it involves the background pony, Peach Fuzz, and her endeavour to find her father the perfect not!Christmas present. 

And after a brief run in with everyone’s favourite party planner extraordinaire, she decides to pull a glim-glam and make her father a mirror with all her favourite memories of him pasted to the frame in photographic form. What follows is a series of vignettes in which Peach explains the memories, their sentimental value, and how her father played an important role in them. They’re all written well enough and make a good deal of logical and emotional too, managing to be fairly touching in certain places as well when the stallion’s devotion to his daughter really shines through. And once those are complete Peach obviously presents him the gift and its received lovingly and everyone lives happily ever after.

Now what actually elevates this story past simple fluff to something actually memorable is the writing itself here, because the plot isn’t exactly original being half-ripped from an episode and all. Its a first-person narrative, as if Peach herself was speaking - and it honestly does feel totally natural, like a child is actually narrating it. The word choice is simple but appropriate and the tone comes off as eager and sincere, which definitely suits Peach’s character. Personally I would’ve liked to see here somewhat more worried about completing the gift or be a little more insecure about it but that’s really a nitpick and this works well as is.

Otherwise, I will give kudos to the ending. The last few lines brought a real smile to my face and they tie up the story perfectly - like a bow on a Hearth's Warming present, if you’ll excuse the fandom-themed metaphor. Writing two believable stories for a pair of background characters is also a nice touch, doubly so that they’re properly integrated into the world at large.

Plot: 3/5. Attaching a vignette to each photo is a nice idea, and everything flows well otherwise but I do think that the stakes of the conflict could be raised a bit by having Peach be somewhat more concerned with the actual gift.
Characters: 3/5. Peach Fuzz is portrayed as a reasonably adorable filly and both her father and Pinkie Pie have a few touching moments each.
Style: 4/5. The narration is really what stands out here; Peach’s first person perspective adds a large degree of realism to the story and the simple style otherwise makes this a pleasure to read.
Execution: 4/5. A hidden gem honestly - very dear slice of life about a background character.
Overall Rating: 14/20 = 7/10

To TCC56: Good work here mate. I know this is by no means your most popular work but I really appreciated the effort you put into this on a personal level and I’d say you have a serious talent for writing child characters. Do keep writing here, and maybe consider something else in a similar vein too.

For something like this: Although it has a somewhat darker tone to it, Remember… also discusses adaughter’s relationship with her father and I rated it an 8/10 in my review.

As always, thanks for reading. This is likely going to be one of my last reviews for the foreseeable future - I’m busy with both university and original fiction projects nowadays, so I’m going to be a lot less active in the fandom. Well, I can’t say I was ever too active to begin with, but I’d say to expect comments instead of full-blown reviews come the next few months. 

Thank you very much!

This one was a toughie - the switch to first person with a juvenile narrator really threw me, but it felt like the appropriate way to tell the story. I know it wasn't the most original idea (as you cite), but I'll happily take a derivative story well executed. At the end of the day it was a Jinglemas present that was enjoyed, and everything else is bonus.

Thank you for the review. And good luck with those projects!