Time to Say Farewell by Toriandthehorse

Onwards, back to that one author I like because all his shit is dark and depressing as heck. This time we are treated to the death of the two alicorn sisters because they forget to set their alarm for ‘to freaking far in the future’ and the reaper is paying them a visit due to them being, and I quote, ‘way to damn old’.

So, what would it be like to know the time of your death and undergo aging like that one viking from Samurai Jack but over an entire day? This story does that but with them royal sisters. It's a nice little piece about passing on and the fear one likely feels at the gates of the beyond. It is a slow story that aims to tell a simple little story.

As for what I was no such a big fan of, the main issue would be the writing. I don't know what it is but the tone is off. It’s meant to be happening in the future but the structure and phrasing of sentences sound like they are coming from a story about the times before Luna’s banishment. Past that, the only other real issue I would say that I had with it would be that it’s a bit short. I like long deep delves into the human condition so my preference here would involve a long epic on the meaning of life and mortality, but seeing as that is irrelevant to the goals of a short story, disregard this.

Final scores;

Writing: 7/10, It was weird to read. There were several mistakes in the story I could pick up on but the strangest thing was the construction. The grammar was good but the phrasing of the entire story would have been better served with a more modern cadence to the sentences. As it is written, it sounds like a story from before Luna’s banishment.

Pacing: 9/10, It was a short story that didn’t feel like it overstayed its welcome or needed more to be added.

Characters: 10/10, Now this is entirely subjective and relative. While I would normaly give this to a story with a huge sprawling narrative with incredibly multi-faceted characters, I need to work with what I get. And for a story meant to be this short, this is about the level of characterisation one should expect and commend.

Atmosphere: 8/10, We get the un-edgy version of the Spike story but with an air of fear, uncertainty, acceptance, and love. This is a story that has a good tone of voice that is realy able to draw you in.

Concept/Originality: 8/10, Unfortunately, I promised 5 criteria will be evaluated in each story, and seeing as this is the only other relevant category this is relevant, here it is. It is a decently original idea from what I can tell. The issue I have is that these stories (Celestia and Luna’s deaths), while not unheard of, became a little more common once the final season hit. I didn’t dock too many points as the perspective is novel and was well executed

Total Score: 42/50 or 8.4/10, This was a well done story with 

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Oh dear. I put you through another. My apologies!
Once again, I thank you profusely. I do very much appreciate the feedback, not to mention your even reading.. all this, and I will take it to heart.
Glad to hear this one fared a bit better than my.. Spike story.