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The Bricklayer

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The Bricklayer #1 · Jul 29th, 2019 · 1 · ·

Okay… So, Babs Seed. Fairly divisive character in the fandom, for fairly understandable reasons given her debut was one of the poorest episodes this show had to offer, aesop wise. And of course, this story also focuses on bullying, because why can’t we write about anything original in relation to Babs Seed? Or kids in general, really?

Now, take Stranger Things into account. It had a fairly memorable set of bullies that in no way should have worked as well as they did, but somehow the Duffer Brothers pulled it off. Maybe because it was a small town, maybe because the two didn’t go off spouting random bully jargon? Or maybe it’s because they were well written enough to make your blood boil.

Can I say the same about the various bullies in this story, from both Manehatten and Canterlot? ...Well, to put it in short terms… No. Take this scene for example between Dinky, Derpy, and Babs and the bullies… who I really can’t even remember the names of actually.

2 people walked in through the door, to the jeering of a group of boys. “Hey look!” one of them shouted. “It’s Derpy McDerpface!”
The older girl looked hurt, but a younger one who resembled her stepped forward. “Nobody talks to my sister that way!” she yelled.
The boys laughed. “Clearly runs in the family,” one of them snorted.
“What, being retards?” another laughed.
“It won’t be long till she has the wonky eyes!” the third jeered.
Tears began to leak from the younger girls' eyes, whilst the older one had a neutral expression.
Babs had had enough. She knew enough of what bullying was like, and she got out of her seat and stormed over.

Do I even need to say how comical these bullies actually are? And that isn’t even the worst of it. There was an earlier scene where, and I kid you not, there was a Manehatten bully seemingly propagating Babs for sex. Did I mention she’s twelve here? I kid you not, this scene actually happened.

After lessons had ended, she was walking down the corridor when one of her bullies walked in her way. “Fancy having some fun?” he said.
“If ya wanna go to bed with me, the answer is no,” she replied, shoving past him. “Chrissakes, I’m 12!”

If these bullies are meant to be in any way threatening, it’s not working. Because instead of feeling fear for Babs, Dinky, or Derpy, I’m close to laughing. Like, this is like a comic book. I mean, what school bully implies they want to sleep with a 12-year-old, even as a joke?

See, what the Blue EM2 should have done is have these bullies go after Derpy and Dinky in less superficial ways. Let me explain what I’m on about. Derpy’s ditziness and klutziness? Only surface traits. What should have been commented on instead is how poor of a sister/mother/whatever Derpy is. The bullies need to step up their game, play actual psychological warfare. But they do nothing and get banned for Sugarcube Corner in any case. All this scene does is get Dinky and Derpy as friends to Babs.

Now, you’d think this would be the least of the story’s problems, that maybe something else rescues the story. Uh… sorry, but that would be a no. Music plays a huge role in this story, as in actual youtube videos popping up in the middle of the text. Do I even need to say how distracting this is? For example, and this is a major offender the Doctor pops up, just for a cheap fandom joke, like to say: “Hey guys, look how clever I am!”

Guess what video we get linked. No, guess.

Babs also has a sister here. But she’s so unmemorable I can’t even remember her name. She just shows up for one quick scene in chapter one, and that’s that. What I would have done is have her accompany Babs to Canterlot, have the two actually patch up their relationship as a sorta subplot.

Also, there is this.

Neighsay looked shocked. “I suspected they were causing you trouble, but I spoke to them and they said they weren’t causing any trouble to you.”
“You really think they’ll admit it to you?” Babs snorted. “If you’d bothered to check any of your cameras, you’d see that they’ve been beating me up for a while now! And it’s not the physical stuff, it’s the emotional abuse.”
Mrs Orange looked shocked. “I had no idea it was this bad,” she said.
“Yeah, well it is this bad,” Babs snapped. “Like saying I’m fat, or that I smell of pepperoni, or stealing my homework, or nicking my clothes. Yeah, they took my shirt once, and 3 pairs of trainers.”
“I can back her up on that one,” Mrs Orange said, the same look of shock on her face. “I’d wondered how you’d got through so many pairs of trainers!”
“Well, you coulda asked!” Babs told her. “It got worse when they drew my family into it. They claimed that Dad was fucking women in Manhattan when he stays overnight!”
“Language!” shouted Neighsay.
“What’s it gonna take before you do somethin’, huh?” Babs shouted in his face.
“If you don’t tell us, there’s not a lot we can do.”
“There’s loads you can do! You could, I dunno, block social media in the school? Limit use of the computers? What kind of a Principal are ya?”
Neighsay looked over to Mrs Orange. “Mrs Orange, I believe this meeting is over.”
“Good!” Babs roared. “Because I’m done with listenin’ ta yer shit anyway.” She stormed out without so much as a second thought.

One phone call, one phone call Neighsay, and you’d be out of a job. This is why we get jokes about how broken the American education system is, because of things like this and principals this inept.

Goodness above, this has to be one of the worst stories I’ve ever reviewed that isn’t a troll fic, and what’s really bad about all of this? It had so much potential as an idea it could have worked really. But instead, what we get is lazy writing, and cliche after cliche after cliche. All are designed to elicit the feels as I believe they call it, but you know what? I can’t end up feeling anything at all but pity for this story.

2/10

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