The Creation of My Little Pony Written by BradyBunch

For those of you who appreciates self-deprecating humor, you will most definitely enjoy this story.

The story begins with a mad scientist, finishing his worst creation: My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic, in a storm, kinda got Frankenstein vibes while reading it. I was surprised he didn't say "It's alive!"

He goes on to tell his most-likely number one assistant, Igor, about it, really showcasing the mad scientist he is, while doing so.

The Scientist explains what has already happened, will happen, specifically, what happened within the fandom. Also, telling how evil it is to make a TV show to sell toys, and telling of one of his most vile creations.

In the end, Igor defends us, his faith never faltering, claiming we will enjoy the Scientist's creation, until The Scientist reveals Equestria Girls.

If you've seen the Mad Scientist sketches from Studio C, then you'll recognize the characters.

This was a great read, I personally enjoyed it. Definitely one of my favorites.

Every reference was A+, very funny. I don't really read much comedy, so there are some things that don't make me giggle. But, he did.

But, he could've given a little more humor, like the characters could have joked around, or the Scientist could've teased Igor a bit. But that's just my opinion.

The use of metaphors were great, like the way the sentences were constructed. The attention to detail was so good, every sentence just sprang to life in my imagination.

But, he could've described the Mad Scientist's and Igor’s appearance more, as of the appearance of it. You could've described the fearsome looks of the castle. Was it new? Or was it a couple hundred years old? How did the bricks reflect the blinding light of the lightning? Are they worn, cracked? Dark? Light?

Also, the adverbs, they were kind of a turn off for me. You could describe how Igor looked as he first spoke to the Scientist. Maybe he was nervous? Anxious? If so, just describe his movements as he spoke. Like how you did with some other sentences. Try to avoid using words ending with "-ly".

The characters were fun, loved the way they talked, entertaining. It was almost like watching a sketch.

The dialogue could've used some italics, or some bolding, though, like in the line where the Scientist cuts off Igor when he was joining him on the Evil Laugh. It could be rewritten either as, “Only I do the laughing.” or, “Only I do the laughing.”, you get the idea, it just brings the sentence a little more color. Just be careful, try not to overdo them. Like I sometimes do.

As I said, it was a good read. But, you could've done your own spin on the characters, maybe you could've ponified them, that would've made the story more colorful, but it's my opinion, and I already like the story as is.

I give this story a 7/10 on Humor,

7.5/10 on Style,

8.5/10 on Characters,

And, a 9.5/10 on Interest.

Overall, it's a good, funny story with enjoyable characters, and a good writing style. 8/10

Total score: 32.5/40

Keep writing.
-D