Title: Comforting Her Majesty by kalash93
Verdict: Reject (4/10)
Reason:

In order to pay respects to my fellow friend, who wrote this story, I feel it appropriate to drink a toast in his honor. Thank you for presenting this piece before me to read.

This is a story about morality, mortality, insecurity, infallibility, inner beauty, and cuddling. This four thousand word narrative is summed up, in the author's own words, as an 'unconventional cuddle fic'. If that sounds like a lot to cover in such a short scene, that's probably because it is.

I sense a good story in here somewhere, hidden under unsubstantiated rhetoric and confusing delivery of its core message. It seems to be a bit philosophical in nature, but I never truly grasped Princess Celestia's dilemma. It is conveyed that there's some secret operation she ordered that would change everything in Equestria, and that if she didn't, everypony would die.

This is a numbers game, hence the 'morality' part. If she does something that would inevitably kill billions of ponies in the time to come, there's a slim chance that trillions will be saved later and that they would live out amongst the stars. But if she didn't kill billions, then they would die anyways.

This is a rough message to deliver well. There are two distinct qualities about it that must be accounted for in execution. The first is that the threat must feel real and believable to the reader. The entire time while I was reading this, it felt like there was some veiled threat hanging over the scene, but without context I'm not sure why it necessitates the need to kill billions of Ponies from here into the future. Not when we get quotes like this as our frame of reference into Celestia's reasoning:

"Because Equestria is too perfect. You know it from just your own experiences in life. This is paradise. No war. No famine. No hardship. No enemies. They live safe, protected by the seas on the east and west, the mountains to the north, the deserts to the south, and by their princess at the heart of it all. They could linger here a billion years as if in a dream. They have nothing to push them, nothing to incite that explorer spirit that brought them here in those eons long past.

Can you undestand that, with your background? Can you support it?" Just Fact readjusted himself to nuzzle her better. "Yes, if the alternatives mean extinction."

"Yes, sooner or later, it does..." Celestia averted her gaze. He made her meet his eyes again. "It's not even a question then -- you have to make it happen."

"But it's not a sure thing, either. It's a long shot, a very long shot."

The other item that must be accounted for is the question of what she's giving up in the process of killing billions now versus saving trillions later. There'll be more alive, and out in the stars, I suppose, but if they give up all that they hold valuable to their lives in doing this, will this even be worth it?

Time and again, I've seen this in narratives, usually depicting the opposite of what the message here is conveying. The main reason for this always stems back to the question of the characters' moral codes. If they make this one sacrifice now, what do they give up as a result later? Does this somehow make them lesser than human, or in this pony? Sure, the loss of one life to save a thousand sounds good, but is that person's life yours to give?

And as soon as you start down the path of this numbers game, just what kind weight are we assigning to the value in a person's life? Does this, in some way, create boundaries and limitations on what a person can or cannot be? "Yeah, I know you have a child on the way, a new career, and home, but you must give it up or many others will surely die." I know that if I had to give up something like that for others to have something like that, then suddenly it doesn't seem as special for anyone.

Please note that I'm not saying 'I'm judging this story because its immoral'. It can be truly interesting, even encouraged, to see this take on the moral dilemma. If only I could see more into how it shapes Princess Celestia and what the impact of this momentous decision truly has on everypony who dies from it. Make their voice mean something, for they want to be heard and remembered, not to be a statistic.

There's a lot more I could go into here that I didn't feel was as relevant. Just Fact's physical description, for example, was very detailed, but it didn't play much of a role in the story, so I ultimately won't remember it for very long, and if you take that away, I don't know much about him as an individual other than being a voice of reason to Celestia. Then there's the whole immortal/mortal discussion which felt a little out of place.

There are some misspelled words and a few grammar issues, but there was nothing there I felt was worth mentioning aside from suggesting a quick edit in order to rectify them.

I sincerely hope that this review has been helpful, and I'm free to discuss this in more length upon request.

I'm just going to note that it's great to see someone finally stepping up to the plate and going through the cafe's backlog. I do hope you're not being forced to take it all on by yourself, though.

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My reviewing is sporadic, but I still haven't broken a personal record of reviews done in a week. I believe the most reviews I did in a week was twelve, and I finished this week off at seven. My activity is probably only more noticeable because of the new way we're posting these reviews.