I've got a lot of demons in my head that I deal with on a daily basis. I know everyone does. I don't want to be here and be all like; 'Oh woe is me, I want sympathy' etc, because I know you lot have better things to do than to read my pathetic whining.

"But, why are you telling us this?" You ask.

Because, I'm just venting right now. Even at the age of 23, I genuinely feel I don't deserve happiness. No, honestly I don't.

Despite everything that I have, I feel I don't deserve happiness. I'm a brooding narcissistic moronic pint-sized douchebag wannabe who doesn't deserve the happiness I have. I genuinely feel that I would be better off in solitude and fading into obscurity where I will be nothing but a memory.

That's how I feel most days. I don't deserve to be happy but everyone else does.

(Cue the comments on being called a cringy emo dickhead in 3, 2, 1)

5395109

Is there anything that is the specific core of all this?

5395574 I guess... It would be down to my failings as a person, if I think about it.

5395586

How exactly have you failed? What did you see yourself doing different that would have made it a success?

My biggest problem is.... I can't trust myself anymore... I feel as if no matter how things bleak are going to get and no matter how I try I won't be able to overcome it anymore. Doesn't mean I won't keep trying though. I just know that I can't trust myself to meet all the expectations people have for me. Doesn't mean I won't try though.

5395109 Don't ever be afraid to post here. This is a safe haven. No one will insult you or call you names here, or they'll have to deal with me.

5395649 and me.

5395109 The world is your own. There are some other creatures living in it. Some even resemble your general shape. You're a generous person, so you let them co-exist with you.

And never ask yourself what person X expects of you. Ask yourself what you who is 10 years older than you are now would do in your place. You only need to meet your own expectations of yourself.