Rewrites. All authors think about them. Be it update a story, such as Pen Strokes rewriting Past Sins to make it occur after season 2, or because something previously written just isn't kosher.
I'm doing it because of the later.

Now, before anyone gets their undies in a twist thinking this means I'm stopping to rewrite the story: I'm not.
It would take WAY too long to just retread ground and I refuse to back things up anymore then they have been. What I WOULD do is make the chapters separate files and tinker on them whenever I get free time or I need a little diversion. Or when I'm playing Halo Wars 2 skirmish on easy mode with an A.I. that takes a good half hour to do anything of note.

That being said, I'm sure you're wondering what exactly I'd be rewriting. While I would love it to be the Dragonshy chapter, because makers know it needs it, it's actually Squeaks' intro that I'd like to take another stab at.

Why? Well, the whole thing went down the way it did is because, for some idiotic reason, I didn't want ANYONE asking "Well, what if her real parents showed up?" I just didn't want to see that comment. I have no idea why, but it was a STUPID reason. So I wrote that her mom died in childbirth and her dad was a raciest a-hole. Then I figured that I had to explain WHY he was such an ass, which led to 90% of the colony being huge ds.

This was BAD story writing, and I feel bad for writing it!

Not to worry; I have a solution and I must thank those who've been in PMs with me for helping me shape it out.
Here's how it goes:
Midnight heads off into the Everfree right before a blizzard. This time, however, instead of running into just Squeaks, she runs into a whole bunch of thestral foals. She fights off most of the timberwolves before adult thestrals show up and finish them off. A quick talk with them show they have no place to go and that another night out in the snow will start to really take a toll on the children if it hasn't already. Midnight agrees when she sees Squeaks standing by herself a little ways away from the other foals and shivering. On the way back, Midnight sees her falling behind and goes back to scoop her up onto her back. Things play out the same from there for the most part; Red Heart comes in the next day to check on the new arrivals and Midnight and Sapphire go through their entire fruit stores to feed them. This is also when Midnight learns from the thestrals why they were wandering about the Everfree. As it turns out, a creature (I'm really tempted to use the owlursus here) has attacked their colony, killing many of their number and driving the rest out. Among those slain are both of Squeaks' parents and she has no other relatives. A friend of Squeaks' mom has tried her best to watch out for her, but she also has her own foals to take care of, too. This, along with the maternal feeling she was already getting for the filly, drive her to spend most of her time with her. Squeaks also starts to bond with Midnight, her blue eyes and mane reminding her of her mother while the black coat reminders her of her father, and she feels safe around her, which she hasn't felt since her parents died. Midnight and Sapphire contact Princess Luna for help and in the mean time the thestrals as a group begin to bond with Midnight and Sapphire, as well as the rest of the town. When Princess Luna tells them she's going to drive the creature away, many of the adult thestrals and Midnight volunteer to help fight. Both Sapphire and Squeaks are worried but Midnight promises them both that she has a trick up her sleeve that even a dragon would have a hard time with. They go to the colony's home and the creature (might use more than one, like a pack drove them out) puts up a terrific fight, during which Midnight and the thestrals fight very well together. Ultimately it's either Princess Luna or Midnight who drive the beast(s) away and while they have their home back, too many have died for them to keep the community alive themselves. They ask to stay in Ponyville and Luna suggests that since they fought so well together that they join Midnight's guard. While they discuss this, Midnight asks if she can adopt Squeaks, which they readily agree to. Midnight gets her first crop of soldiers, Midnight still adopts Squeaks to the satisfaction of my insane mental functions, and thestrals are not painted as murdering racists in the story.

I wouldn't have Midnight change into her wyvern form until the hydra attack to keep it secret until she absolutely has to.
As for the rest of the season I really haven't given much thought as to how things would be different if Midnight had more guards before Windrunner popped up I'm not really sure just yet. I'd have to tinker with the chapters one at a time like I said.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Good, bad, keep some things and get rid of others?
Hope to hear from you guys.

Hello! I read your thing and I do have to say that I do like the old version of the Squeaks arc mostly due to the warm feels I get at the end of the arc but the new arc for it simply makes sense. I’m not picking one over the other since I like them both for different reasons that I just said. You do whatever since it’s your story.

But yeah, the Dragonshy chapter needs to to be looked at xD, though the ending of it is still funny

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How about using a Bugbear swarm for the idea Ink? I mean just one did a lot of damage to Ponyville from what little we got to see of it. So that might work as well.

6032798
That could work. Right now a lot of it is up in the air but I like that

6032818
Well given what I have been learning about horses and ponies since joining this site I have begun to realize something. Ponies as a group and even as individuals aren't the weak, placid, and gentle creatures we believe them to be. They are perfectly capable of fighting off very serious threats. So it is badly unlikely that a single such creature would cause substantive damage to a colony. It would be more credible to use a large group instead.

More so given you would have such determined defenders that are protecting their homes but more importantly, their families.

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As rewrites go, its not too unrealistically drastic. It makes a fair amount more sense than the original version, yet I'd hate to miss out on the 1 on 1 recovery scenes between Squeaks and Midnight, they were too cute.
Also side notes, wouldn't this make Squeaks less shy and reserved, since her parents were alive and not a**holes? And would her different coloration be not such a big deal now? Changing this throws a wrench into a few other parts.

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You're making really good points there.

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The one on one wouldn't go away. I know I made it sound like only a day or two pass between finding them and the fight for their colony, but it would be more like one or two weeks and Midnight would spend a lot of time with Squeaks because she lost her parents. I also envision Squeaks as a shy and reserved personality anyway, so she'd still be the Squeaks we all know and love. And the whole thing about her coat being a different color would disappear because it's no longer the reason for anything happening, which, as I pointed out, is better story telling. To add to that, there'd be a very emotional scene when Midnight proclaims that she would help liberate the colony and Squeaks, having adopted Midnight as her new mom by now, wouldn't want her to go, fearing she might lose somepony else in her life that's become close to her. I think this has the chance to be a much better telling of the story with a much better pacing and telling that'll make the overall story a lot better.

This won't go up piece-meal either, if it does go up. I'll have everything written before I update, which, again, won't be for a while, but I think it'll be a change that's much more beneficial.

I prefer the old arc. Half of what made the scenes so powerful was how protective Midnight was around Squeaks. Especially against Dark Blade. And doing these changes means rewriting other scenes in the sequel. Squeaks would know how to fly if she isn't being isolated, so Midnight wouldn't have that bonding moment with her later on. The Thestral's accepting 'light-borns' aswell just doesn't sit right with me either, since the idea of them being racist to them made the fact that you don't see the show have merit. The part where Midnight slams into Celestia's barrier to get Dark Blade and comforts Squeaks was my favorite part of the story and gave us more information about how kirin's work when Luna told about how kirin's are with those they consider their foal. Removing that scene would suck for me since it made me really enjoy the story there. Removing these moment diminish the bonding moments and can leave serious plotholes that weren't there before. Like how having so many guards joining her makes keeping it secret pretty difficult and kinda cheapens the effect of Shining's concerns on the lack of guards and picking up Windrunner later on. And Scarlet would probably be unneeded when Midnight has so many guards by then.

It's your story, but what you want to change are my favorite parts and... kinda scares me tbh. Like doing this would ruin the story for me. Kinda like when a video game character you play gets 'reworked' and loses the reason you played them.

I hope i'm wrong though.

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Well, nothing's set in stone just yet, and I'm telling you guys this because I want to know how'd you feel about a rewrite. I'm grateful for the feed back and I will take your and other peoples' opinions into consideration about whether to do it or not.

6032929
That actually sounds pretty awesome. Please do that, it sounds fantastic.
Hmm, maybe while Midnight is away fighting, Squeaks and Sapphire could get some good bonding in. At that point they'd share a home and both be worrying over Midnight. Might be some potential there.
And with the whole Nightmare Night debacle with the thestral colony moving in, that could be whats left of a different colony that was also attacked?
Hmm..

6032929
That's good. You really thought this through and that is best Ink.

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Agreed.

Almost every chapter after would need to be rewriten to help incorporate this new idea. Otherwise the pacing could end up all over the place. But thats just my thoughts on it.

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I feel that I am in a weird place to some extent here you guys. I perfectly well see Ink's point and it's on the mark for the most part. But, you guys have also raised points that are every bit as valid as his.

As a writer who is personally stuck with having to not just rewrite but outright re-envision my own work I see both sides of this very clearly. It makes me wonder if these ideas are just best expressed in an A.U. instead of a rewrite of the originals. Regardless Ink did say that he won't proceed with it anytime soon.

I can see why too, this needs a lot of thought before it is done.

6033379
Hmm... I think the alternate AU expressed as another story is the best way to handle this. To be honest I didn't think folks would be so supportive of the original.

6033606
That would be best as near as I can tell. Making any changes to the Witching Hour would require those changes to be present all throughout. This would also alter Chaos is Change and possibly break both flow and narrative. I just don't see a better path here myself.

6032665
This is pretty good, I like it.