I don't have many friends, people who know me might say I have dozens of friends, but truthfuly, there are only a handful of people I'd call my friends, everyone else I consider my enemy, or I'm just indifferent to them. The few friends I have, I try to keep in my life, but as I and life change, some of them leave. My oldest friend only just started hanging out with me again after a fairly long period of just passing by me, extending a friendly greeting but nothing more. To fully understand why I'm telling you all this, I have to go back to the start of high school, about four years ago now.

High school was horrible for me, I was an overweight, nerdy kid who spoke (and rapped) with a funny accent, despite the fact that I was born and raised in the very city I was schooled. I was bullied relentlessly and became depressed, it was the worst year of my life, but things began to pick up in the second year. I don't know if it was because of pity over a series of beatings and public humiliations the previous year, if people liked me as a miserable nerd with hypersomnia but a good sense of humour, or if everyone just grew up a little, but regardless of the reason, things were slightly better, and I acredit all to one man, the first friend, and in a few ways, the only friend I made in high school. He caught me reading a "deadpool" comic in geography and said he liked the character, from that point on, we hit it off. We bonded over classic hip hop and rap, and he introduced me to Tyler the creator. Unfortunately, the next year he and his family moved away, and we never really talked much. There was a brief period were we both stayed up late and texted each other, but unfortunately, like I said,it was only brief.

A few months ago I finally set up a facebook account, as I needed to contact another friend to ask if he wanted to hang out. I always thought of friending my old high school friend on facebook, but mere minutes,I finally went through with it, before looking at his timeline, and seeing everything he's been up to. It's crazy, I always thought that it sucked that he's no longer in my life, but looking at his facebook timeline I realised something, I was never in his, and I have only myself to blame, my hermit nature wouldn't allow me to go to parties or meet new people. It wouldn't let me be a true friend.

2392489 Shit Dude you sure we ain't related? I know everything you just said and then some. I know how you feel, I'm in those shoes you're wearing. You got a pal here.

Good Luck and Godspeed.

2392532 Thanks man, just knowing I'm not alone makes me feel alot better about all of this.

2392541 A friend is someone that shares your interests. Somebody that brings out your inner child, and stays by you no matter what, is a brother. I have one friend, and two brothers (one blood). Friends are a dime a dozen and only have ten cent love. Brothers are worth their weight in gold.

2392489 *hugs* Everyone says I have an accent, even though I've lived in my hometown my entire life.

2392585 *hugs back* I thought I was the only one. It gets ridiculous when people have known you for years, and yet, still ask where you were born, or where you where raised.

2392489

There's...

For us introverts, "friend" is a big word. It's an expensive word, too; we might get on well with others, but it takes a lot before we'll actually call you a friend. We hold everything very close to the chest and, if we do get close enough to call you a friend, it's a deeply affectionate connection that'll take a thermonuclear device to break. Of the social relationships I currently have, I'd say one of them was a friend. Plenty of acquaintances, but only one friend, and I love him dearly. He's the closest I've come to having a boyfriend, even.

There's also... well, people just drift apart. I barely recognize the person I would've called my best friend back in high school. But the best part is that, as you learn more about who you are, and who you need in your life, your relationships get deeper, stronger.

But before any of that can happen, you have to accept who you are and love yourself, and remember that bullies won't go away if you just ignore them. You have to fight back. I'm not advocating violence, of course; just zero tolerance for meanness based on stupid, willfull ignorance.

Nice icon, by the way. Speaking as somebody who's gay and an atheist, I'm used to coming out of closests, so I'm here if you need a pair of ears

2392652 Thanks man, that helped alot, you almost had me crying by the last line. You really made me think that it's time for some change to occur in the way I live my life.

2392683

Nothing wrong with a good cry.

2392722 Couldn't agree with you more

2392735
Love and tolerate, bitch

2392489 You sound like an awesome person, anyone who bullies you just remember, they don't know you, they don't know how you think, they've probably never talked to you. You're an awesome person, never forget that.

And I'm a straight Christian, but if you need someone to talk to about anything I'm always available.

2392489
I've always been a very shy introvert. I've always been that one kid in the corner keeping to herself and avoiding any and all contact, especially from others my age. Making friends has been a struggle, and one I've been bad at. Many of my "friends" turned out be stupid jerks in the long run unfortunately. I don't currently have any friends for reasons I don't entirely wish to go into, some of which are the same as yours. It's at least partially my fault that I don't have friends.

High school was horrible for me, with my depression and extreme social anxiety. The people at my school weren't purposefully antagonistic though, and would ignore me for the most part. Still, simply being seen by others caused anxiety. It got bad enough that I ended up leaving it to pursue distance education. I like your profile picture by the way.

2392683
Is there something wrong beyond what you detailed in the first post? I'm not a complete stranger to leaving closets either.

2392933 Well, I am bisexual, if that's what you mean, but I don't think anyone knows.

2392489

Ah can relate to that, i feel yer pain.
I have no friends in my neighborhood (never have and never will) because there all they same, but what was hard for me to accept that it was my own doing. i don't hang out with anyone around here because there either on drugs or there just unpleasant to be around, i don't hang out with them because i don't want them to change me into something i'm not. But that's one of the things I've learned to accept.

your not along in this, yer never truly along, I'm here, were all here and will keep being here for you because we know and understand what your going through, that's what friends do, Remember that...