Simple-ish question: Why do you like Polyamory? Do you hate breaking up so may beautiful ships and just wanna mash them all together? Are you a fan of sex=love so more sex = more love? Or other?

Lets discuss our various thoughts and points of view ^.^

Basically...

Why not at once?

778851
I support everything you just said

778852
Makes sense and I understand what you mean. Polyamory does open up a whole new level of complexity that can give an otherwise average romantic story innumerable twists and turns

778827
Math.

Yep. Cold, unfeeling math.
Very simple math too!

AdorableLesbianPonies = Good

Therefor:
2 x AdorableLesbianPonies = 2 x Good
3 x AdorableLesbianPonies = 3 x Good
etc.

The more you add, the better it is, by linear progression.

The reason is simple: in real life, you don't just have one person liking only one other person. Odds are, someone else likes either that person or the person they like. And in some circumstances, this can manifest itself into a problematic situation.

778923 Precisely this. I hate it when society and tradition makes people feel as if they can't love more than one person. Some people are destined to be One True Pair, but there are plenty of people who could do with having more than one romantic interest that they can pursue undaunted.

Being restricted to one partner only ends up creating complications when one realizes that they love someone else as well, not instead.

779009

However, more often than not, it just seems to open up a Pandora's box of jealousy.

And this is a bad thing, because ...?
Welcome to real life. Polyamorous relationships hardly ever work in the real world without jealosy becoming an issue. They only work if every person loves every other person in the relationship equally. Sure, you can write that easily, but it's not realistic. I tend to be overly realistic in my writing, so that's not really something I'd be willing to do.

779015 Luckily, since this is a show where Friendship is Magic, it is "realistic" for the ponies to feel the same way about each other.

Why?

Because I am, honestly.

And yeah, jealousy happens for some people. Most, even. But isn't a relationship supposed to be about supporting and loving each other, even though sometimes we get angry or jealous? Jealousy isn't the enemy of a polyamorous relationship.

It's the ugly cousin with neon green hair you don't want to invite to the reunion, but not the enemy.

778827
Why do I poly? Because I am disgusted with society's opinion that I am only allowed to fall in love with one person.

How dare society try to tell me who it is and isn't acceptable to fall in love. My platonic loves are not diminished because I gain more friends, so why should my romantic loves be any different?

At least, thats the theroy. I have never been in a relationship, so I could just be talking out of my arse.

I think the main reason i poly, even though i now don't think i actually do, is that I was for a period of time in a polygomous relationship, I think society is stupid about it, and i really can't split the mane six up easily because they fit so well with each other.

Why? Well, touch of TMI to answer that. You've been warned.

Well, I am polyamorous. When I was married once upon a time my wife and I had a variety of threes (or mores) as well as 'boyfriends/girlfriends' that we saw separate from each other for bedroom activities. Admittedly, my wife had more than I did, but that's neither here nor there. We had discussed for a while adding a permanent third (which, by the way if you're unaware, is called a triad rather than a threesome relationship, love triangle, or assorted other names) were we to find a suitable candidate, but he or she never came into our lives before other things drove us to divorce.

To be entirely honest, I'm not terribly interested in FwB-style polyamorous fics, or orgy fics, or threesome fics where it's clearly ship + visiting third. I like my shipping to be about the grand romance; it's what really pulls me in. When I'm looking for polyamorous fiction, I'm looking for real triads, where it's three (or more, why not?) characters that are in love with each other and trying to make it work. Jealousy can be a thing, but it's not a driving force in a lot of polyamorous relationships.

Personal experience speaking here, I never once got jealous about anyone my wife ever slept with. It just wasn't a thing for me. The closest I could imagine would be maybe being disappointed by missing out on time with her, but come on, you can't be around someone every hour of every day, time apart is just as important as time together. Polyamory stories don't need to be about jealousy.

Them's my two cents on the subject.

855120

The fic I described is kind of a Gone in Sixty Seconds-style unicorn (what's that? I made a reference involving Nicolas Cage and unicorns? I've apparently found my home), mostly because 1) it's a foreign idea that most people have trouble viewing as anything other than alien, and 2) because writing them is psychotically difficult. Why? Well, in a triad, such as Appledashlight, you have four ships you need to write authentically; the Twidash, the Appledash, the Twijack, and the Appledashlight. You need their interaction to make sense and be believable in pairs and as a group and that's a lot to juggle. But even taking that into consideration, you're left needing to argue the validity of the entire lifestyle. If you don't, you run into the same problems when you fail at writing a regular ship fic. It's bookplayer's 'recruiting people to a ship,' except the ship you're recruiting for is an entire way of living.

...Why did I agree to write one of these things again?

855147

From the amount of resiliency, flexibility, and can-do attitude I've personally witnessed in pussies, I think it's a wholly inappropriate term to describe someone who's a namby pamby wuss. If we're talking about a body part that needs to be coddled and told everything will be okay while stepping on eggshells, I elect we start calling wusses nut-sacks.

People cannot be owned. Nobody can ever be 'mine' or 'yours'. I will never 'belong to someone', and nobody will ever 'belong to me'[1]. That's why polyamory appeals to me. Large portions of standard, societally-accepted romance strike me as creepy, weird, and objectifying[2].

I'm currently in a monoamorous relationship, but that's because I've seen the yellow sign I'm a shut-in. I'm philosophically aligned with polyamory and so is my significant other. I wouldn't be surprised if we had a triad someday.

[1]Except possibly in the kind of roleplaying that involves leashes and collars, but it would be wholly consensual and temporary.
[2]Not that I don't enjoy reading monoamorous stories. Firstly, they're only stories. Secondly, the stuff that skeeves me out is possessive terminology and attitudes, not the fact of monoamory itself.

855098

Speaking from my own experience, I agree that jealousy isn't as universal as jealous people paint it. I think the way relationships are declared to be exclusive creates jealousy. As someone who always found that to be a toxic definition, jealousy is naturally ridiculous to me.

I believe it works like this. If someone can only be with one other person, then being second best is horrifying. If someone can be with as many people as they love, then being second best is disappointing. Monoamory and polyamory differ on whether second place means "you're disqualified, you unlovable wretch" or "you won a silver medal, congratulations". Monoamorous individuals thus are motivated to keep first place at all costs - bam, that's jealousy.

855098
855505

You are exactly the kinds of people I wanted to attract when creating this group!

I knew I could find those who wanted love between more than two beings for more than just kinky reasons. TAW's Trifurcate has a hint of that, and I wanted to re-capture that magic when I wrote my clopfic, "A Thin Line". I guess it was a sort of meta wish-fulfillment, where I wanted to create the sort of fic that I simply couldn't find. Still not sure why I made it anthro, though, I like standard ponies just as much.

While writing it, I couldn't help but wonder why there wasn't more, when clearly it was something people wanted, as the views, likes, and favorites on my fic can attest. Thus, the Polyamory group was born.

Fake edit: Guess this came off as kind of self-indulgent, but I was only trying to make a point.

855098
Most of this rings reasonably true to me. My wife and I have been together for thirteen years, married for eight of that, and have had two others in our lives off and on during that time. The first lasted a very short time; we were a decade younger and all not really open about our various comfort levels or interests, and things fell apart quickly after we started. The second has been going for four years now, though in reality he's more "Quill's coltfriend and Gemini's friend" than "Quill's and Gemini's third."

Poly can be hard, but in some ways it's not as hard as mono. It's different, and the challenges are different, but it's not just about the sex romps.

I write poly because I am poly, and I like seeing myself reflected in the stories I write and read.

Poly is liberating. In a mono relationship, you have to meet all your partner's romantic and sexual needs, or they don't get met. Poly allows you to share the best of yourself and not worry that something you can't/won't do is denying someone you love a chance to blossom in all their fullness.

It's not easy. It's more work, sometimes exponentially more work, but when it works it's beautiful.

855675

I don't know that I necessarily do it perfectly, but I'm *trying* to go for a story like you guys are describing in my Triple-D universe (Diva, Dray, Divebomber). Yes, there's kink, and a lot of smut, but there's also serious relationships underlying it if I can make it all come out like I want.

861778

Don't worry about suiting other people's specific desires. Always write for you, if that's what you want to do. If you put your heart and soul into something you truly like, the reception will speak for itself.

You just might even create some new fans of the concept.

862131
Don't get me wrong - that is what I want to write. :) Not quite my epic-in-progress, but a romance/clop where the triads just happen to be, not where the poly is the source of drama.

I poly because I've been there...

One was a recluse who still considers me the only guy worthy of her affections... the other was a hardcore lesbian hacker in denial of her own sexuality. The third was a perfectly average girl who was constantly horny because of a birth control implant...

I'm a fat, lazy white dude and still wonder how that ever happened.

The way I see it, the heart has no limit to how many people (ponies, gryphons, dragons, etc. in this case) it can love in a romantic light. Yes, a poly relationship is going to have many, many bumps along the way, simply because a sentient being is inherently greedy and jealous, which is completely natural. BUT if everyone in the relationship can overcome those traits, then a poly relationship can be incredibly rewarding.

Basically, I'm saying that the trials and tribulations of someponies in a poly relationship that ends up successful makes for a very good read.

778827 It has nothing to do with breaking any couples up. For me, it's about showing that (as some people have already said) it's rarely as simple as "A likes B and vice versa. End of story." Third parties (and sometimes even fourth, fifth, or sixth parties) exist, and can often complicate simple monogamous relationships.

Additionally, it allows for the exploration of vastly more interactions between the characters involved. With monogamous relationships, you only have one relationship. Triads have three, and quartets have six. The triad can't just be "A and B both love C." A and B have to be involved with each other as well.

I also think part of it, at least when it comes to throwing in an OC, is that it's a common fantasy for people, guys in particular, is to have more then one lover. And if you can have two, three or however many then it's all the better for the fantasy.

The Mane Six sort of play to it in that they're a tight knit group, and in some ways you can see them sharing a guy.

Or, if no guy is present, each other.

Or each other and a guy.

You get the idea.

Call it Poly, call it a Harem, call it a Herd, whatever. So long as everyone has fun.

I don't know if I do poly or not, or whether I do mono or not either. Possibly both, but more likely neither. No experience and rarely get crushes, so I guess it is more an "oh well" thing. If a poly or mono situation came my way and I was attracted to the person/s too, I would give it a shot. Chances of either happening are low, though.

This is somewhat related, but that is more because people see it that way than it actually being that way. I do not really have a line between friends and partners of any sort. Its a continuum with no real gaps, and it is even multi-dimensional. I mean, if a friend is close enough and they work the same way, we will even kiss and sleep together cuddling all night. I do kind of worry about how a very mono partner would take this. I think that this aspect of me has warmed me up considerably to the idea of poly relationships. I never really sat down and seriously thought about it before and just kind of went with what society expected. Given everything else I have not gone with society on (I'm a lesbian leaning trans woman (well, mostly) who is transitioning), I probably should have evaluated this earlier. Oh well.