Equestria and Zebrica were burned a century ago. But on the continent of Sall'han, ponies survived and thrived. Those fledging societies are isolated, and dissimilar. With the arrival of the Transient, powers old and new will make their move.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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7359373
Context is for the weak.
8882057
Thank you! The tea thing is intentional, the other thing less so.
But yeah, now you're seeing the connections between the characters!
Awww! Had hoped for my sweet, shy, innocent fav boy Rosetta in this chapther, not gruff mac soldier boy! Bring me back my sweet sweet shipping material!
I am pretty sure that it is the colour of their eyes, but I could be wrong. I have seen writers doing both things, and it is not something that I remember noticing from the show as such
Now here is a weapon that I would love to see some more in the FoE wasteland! Beside mana potion to replenish that sweet sweet magical juice must this be the second most wanted thing for me to see in a story.
Something that hit me... Permittivity seems to be from the war, him living trough the end of it... But where are the atomic winter and general radioactive fallout? The city he is in seems to work normally even if the bombs have fallen, it have public transport and a sprawling city with a pup, so I can't really wrap my head around where we are on the timeline of apocalyptic stuff. Maybe all things will be explained by some point, but if not does it surely look like a giant plothole. It should be said that I get that neither of the charcters are in areas that gets totally bombed out, but I am pretty sure that the original vent with global ecological chaos... But it could also just be me that mixes stuff up.
And slowly are the gears turning into place and the real story can begin, now is the only question just how it all work and connects.
Nitpicks
In titles and such should words such as "and", "it" and "of" not be capatilized. Think about it, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
"There was no division between the rear seats." Double linebreak
"The ongoing conversation was baffling." You forgot a space before this sentence
"“If I had I would have said so, but your words are intriguing. I’m expected to meet friends in a short while, so if it suits you, what are the characteristics of these odd unicorns?” As far as I was concerned this was most likely farce, or a commercial ploy." Feels like something got cut out in editing, or I am simply slow and don't get the transition from one char speaking to the other.
"I swung open a set of reinforced wooden doors to find a pub that was lively" double linebreak before and after this paragraph
"I was going to live in the " You have a double linebreak here, breaking the sentence in half
"We lapsed into a wordless reverie, broken only by sips from our cups." Drinking beer out of cups? With the pinky pointing out to the side and all
"and would soon fall behind the carved stone of the Earth." Silly ponies, thinking that they are human and living on Earth
" The sounds of city life were obscured by the whirring of the electric engine." Electric engines are really quiet, and since we are in MLP, would it not be a magical engine?
"I knew that I would leaving at an early stop" be
"The butcher lived beside the lawyer and the lawyer beside the manufactory laborer. " Can't really see pre-postapocalypse ponies having butchers, those grass nommers dosn't know the joy of meat yet
"The journey to the the third floor was a rapid affair" delete
"“Magic.” I said firmly, with seriousness in my voice." These 3 lines are center aligned
" The ultimate action action she took was the placement of a band around her left foreleg" delete
"Some minutes later," Center aligned again.
"As I drug a lethargic forehoof across my closed eyelids," Since you have u in colour do you write British English, so it would be dragged. Drug is only used in certain American dialects