You furiously stomp your hooves and shout "Ned! What's happening?"

Ned the Seal-Drawn Carriage driver leans back and peaks his head in through the curtains. "We're waiting for another carriage to pass by, Master Anon." He replies, poshly.

Your frown gets more intense and you peak out the window to gaze at the other carriage.

To your astonishment, the carriage is decorated in a cloak of Rainbow and sparkling ribbon glistening in the purple sunlight.

"Move it, Powder-Puffs!" You shout, shaking your hoof at the carriage.

A pony looks back from the sparkly carriage and to your surprise it's George Clooney from that one movie where Sandra Bollock gets high and thinks she's lost in space or something. I mean, seriously, that movie was crazy from what I've heard. I haven't seen it yet, but it looks good. I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson doesn't like it but he's a stickler. At least it's making people get interested in space instead of bumming each other in butt. I mean, I have no problem with gays, but people need to calm down with all the rights arguments. Really, this country was founded as a safe-haven for what are normally deemed "weird people" when you think about it. I'm not Conservative but I'm not Liberal, either (I'm VERY neutral, by the way). Plus, black people were once considered shit and below everyone but look, they got rights and in their own respect they're flourishing as a culture. Though I still prefer the poems and music from before the Civil Right's Movement because they were all singing for freedom. But are you seriously reading this? I am putting no effort into this paragraph, in fact I hope you skip it and say "TL;DR" because I'm running out of material. Has anyone seen Saturday Night Live lately? I've heard it's gone downhill but I haven't watched any episodes past the 80's. And those skits were "meh" at best. I assume they've resorted to Family Guy levels of "humor". Sort of like The Simpsons where it just turns to crap about fifteen years down the line. I think King of The Hill should've been the show to last 25 years honestly. That show was really good and the humor was mature and never really got stale. I didn't really like Peggy though. She was lame. Now to switch to a completely different sentence so the people who skip this paragraph think we were actually discussing something important. George Clooney looks at you quizzically before peeling off his face, revealing that he's really Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise hops out of the carriage and approaches the window you're poking your head out of.

"Hey, 'pal', do you know who I am?" Tom asks you, flexing his chest muscles.

You gaze down at him, his handsome, dreamy, eyes staring intently into your own.

YO, YO, YO, READ-AH MAKE A CHOICE!

--Challenge Tom Cruise to fisticuffs.

--Sheepishly back down and let Tom go as slowly as he pleases.

--Stand up for Lobster-Human-Pony-Original Character rights by delvering a speech for all the town's people to hear and revel in your intellect, thus causing a LHPOC revolt, toppling the government and Discord.