The God of Hellfire - Choose Your Own Adventure! (Alpha)

by RyanPAPP

A Choice

YOU CHOSE: Draw an immense battlefield filled with opposing Squirrel Civil War factions staring intently at one another while weeping at the powerful message you're conveying.

As you finish your portrait, a solitary tear falls onto your notepad.

Squirrel brother against Squirrel brother. Millions die, and Squirrel widows are left raising their Squirrel babies alone.

The thought of Squirrel babies not having Squirrel daddies and only Squirrel mommies just blows sadness all over you. That and your head hurts from all the times you thought of the word "Squirrel". I mean, it's not like that's easy to type either. I'm sure it's more of a strain on me than you, in fact. Not that I have anything against Squirrels, of course. But they are devious little things. Everyday a squirrel sits outside my window and lifts up his tail to rub is butt all over it. It's not a pretty sight. I'm just waiting for the day it decides to use the bathroom in front of me. I mean, who's going to clean that up? Certainly not me!

But, I digress.

You can take no more. You woefully crumple up the paper and chuck it out the window.

Suddenly, as if a twister was about to roar through town, you hear sirens from behind your carriage!

"This is the Ponyville Police, pull over and explain this Squirrel Civil War drawing!"

Alarmed, you leap out of your seat and open the curtains to yell at the driver of your vehicle.

"Cheese it, Ned! Cheese it!"

Ned the Seal-Drawn Carriage Driver whips the seals and throws a fish into the middle of the road, ordering the Seals to go into top gear as the police gain on you.

However, this effort proves futile. As Saturday Morning Cartoon luck would have it, there happened to be sewer work going on in the middle of the street.

The Seals begin shouting "PULL UP. PULL UP. PULL UP."

Oh no! It seems that Ned the Seal-Drawn Carriage Driver has fallen asleep again! You knew he should've looked into that drowsiness medication! [This story sponsored by Vick's]

One of the Seals falls into the ponyhole and your whole carriage overturns, sending you tumbling around in the cardboard box you were sitting in.

You stumble from the wreckage and the Police Carriage pulls up directly behind you.

A cop leaps out, gun drawn and orders you to get on the ground.

"You are under arrest for littering and second-degree Squirrel Doodling!"

"Ohshit.jpg" you think, getting as low to the ground as possible.

The cop hand cuffs you and gets ready to throw you into the back of his carriage.

CHOOSE A CHOICE:

--Resist Arrest.

--Stare down at the floor in shame.