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Bride of Sombra


I’m an extremely weird pegasister who loves King Sombra. That’s about it.

More Blog Posts16

  • 24 weeks
    Happy Birthday, Sombra!

    Haven’t posted in a while, but today is November 10, also known as the day “The Crystal Empire” first aired. As such, I headcanon this as Sombra’s “birthday.” Although I don’t believe in astrology, it’s kinda funny that he’s a Scorpio just like me!

    Happy birthday to my favorite Umbrum king! 🖤🖤 Love you, Sombra!

    0 comments · 54 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 10: Sick Sombra

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 10: Sick Sombra is a low-budget animated film and the tenth installment in the King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie series of films. 

    Plot: King Sombra comes down with a severe flu-like illness. Radiant Hope tries to get him to go to the doctor, but he refuses even though he becomes more and more ill and eventually reaches the point of delirium.

    Read More

    0 comments · 124 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 7: School Of Sombra (Warning: DISTURBING CONTENT)

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 7: School of Sombra is a low-budget animated film. It is one of many sequels to the infamous King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie.

    Plot: One day, Sombra gets a letter in the mail, claiming he never actually got a proper education and as a result, needs to go back to elementary school. 

    Why This Movie Gets An F-

    Read More

    0 comments · 90 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 4: King-Sized Cancer (Warning: GROSS)

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 4: King-Sized Cancer

    Plot: King Sombra finds out he has a massive tumor growing in his stomach and that he needs to get it treated right away. But when it turns out the cancer can’t be cured, the normally arrogant equine dictator must come to terms with his own mortality and rethink the way he’s been living his life. 

    Why This Film Will Cause Cancer:

    Read More

    0 comments · 85 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 5: Hotel Sombra

    Plot: King Sombra decides to start his own luxury hotel, but he soon finds that running a hotel is much harder than he expected, and things only get worse when a rival hotel called Hotel Hope opens up nearby. 

    Why You Don’t Want To Stay At Hotel Sombra:

    1. Subpar animation as usual.
    2. Cringey voice acting, especially from Sombra.

    Read More

    0 comments · 70 views
Oct
11th
2022

King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 11: Sombra Size Me! · 7:36pm Oct 11th, 2022

King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 11: Sombra Size Me! is a low-budget animated film and the 11th installment (yes, the 11th film) in the franchise. 

Plot: King Sombra needs to get a job in order to pay off his enormous amount of debt. However, with his lack of any skills or experience he finds there’s only one place that’s willing to hire him -- good ‘ol McDonald’s. Will landing a minimum wage job teach the infamous unicorn king the importance of hard work, or will his annoying coworkers and abysmal working conditions drive him crazy? 

Why This Film Is Worse Than Working At McDonald’s:

  1. First of all, this is the 11th movie in the series, and a completely unnecessary film that had no reason to be made.
  2. The animation is terrible as usual and looks like it was done by a 5-year-old using MS Paint.
  3. McDonald’s doesn’t even exist in the MLP universe, so it’s strange and dumb that it would appear in this film.
  4. Awful lip synching; most of the dialogue doesn’t even match up with what the characters are saying. 
  5. Ugly character designs for many of the McDonald’s customers.
  • On that note, many of the McDonald’s customers are humans, despite the film taking place in Equestria where humans don’t exist.
  1. Sombra is, as always, a huge jerk and treats everyone around him like crap. However, in this film he feels more one-dimensional and flanderized than usual. At least in the previous films he was sometimes snarky and sarcastic, but here he acts like he has a single-digit IQ and has no humor to his character whatsoever. It seems like the filmmaker wanted to make Sombra look even worse than usual as a way to portray all McDonald’s employees as being terrible and incompetent.
  2. The film’s overall premise makes no sense — Sombra’s never been shown to have any debt in past films, and he’s always been portrayed as having a ton of money (for example, he apparently had enough cash to open a hotel in the 5th film). Based on this logic, there isn’t really any reason why Sombra would need to work at McDonald’s to begin with.
  3. Many dumb jokes and extremely offensive stereotypes of obese and lower-class people.
  4. It’s so boring and incredibly drawn out, with loads upon loads of unfunny filler.
  5. It manages to make even Radiant Hope unlikable as she acts very out of character for some reason and makes fun of Sombra for being a McDonald’s employee, which is very much unlike her.
  6. The infamous disgusting scene where a toddler has diarrhea in the McDonald’s Playplace and a liquid stream of poop pours all the way down the slide — and Sombra is forced to clean it up himself.
  7. The storyline is very predictable and poorly written. It’s also filled with tons of cliches that have been done to death.
  8. All of Sombra’s coworkers are portrayed as one-dimensional idiots who are shown to be even stupider than Sombra.
  9. Lots of annoying product placement in this movie for McDonald's menu items.
  10. It’s obvious that it has an even lower budget than many of its predecessors, considering how cheap and awful it is.
  11. Cringeworthy voice acting from both the new characters and the familiar ones.
  12. The film ends with Sombra getting fired from the McDonalds for something he didn’t even do, which is very unsatisfying considering Sombra actually tried to work hard at his job before he got fired. 
  13. On that note, the way Sombra gets fired is incredibly stupid and disgusting — a rival employee becomes jealous of Sombra’s work ethic, so he decides to sabotage the unicorn’s reputation by trashing the McDonalds bathroom with horse poop! 
  14. Not a single character in the film is even a little bit likeable — Sombra is actually the most likeable character in the whole movie, which says a lot since this is Sombra we’re talking about.
  15. Excessive poop, vomit, sex, and drug- related jokes.
  16. A lot of the story and jokes are similar to the 7th film, making it quite unoriginal and stale.
  17. False advertising: the film’s poster depicts Radiant Hope working at the McDonald’s, too, even though she doesn’t work there in the actual film (and even teases Sombra for working there).

Redeeming Qualities:

  1. It actually teaches a pretty good life lesson, as during the course of the film Sombra learns the value of money and that sometimes you have to work hard to get what you want in life, which is a decent lesson for kids to learn.
  2. Sombra gets some character development in this movie as he becomes more humble and diligent despite starting out as a spoiled, lazy, and ungrateful king at the beginning.
  3. Some of the jokes are kind of funny, such as the visual gags making fun of McDonald’s happy meal toys and how cheap and terrible for the environment they are.

Trivia:

  1. The title, Sombra Size Me!, is a play on the famous 2004 documentary Super Size Me!, which investigated the fast food industry and the effects eating fast food can have on your body.
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