• Member Since 29th Mar, 2021
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Bride of Sombra


I’m an extremely weird pegasister who loves King Sombra. That’s about it.

More Blog Posts16

  • 24 weeks
    Happy Birthday, Sombra!

    Haven’t posted in a while, but today is November 10, also known as the day “The Crystal Empire” first aired. As such, I headcanon this as Sombra’s “birthday.” Although I don’t believe in astrology, it’s kinda funny that he’s a Scorpio just like me!

    Happy birthday to my favorite Umbrum king! 🖤🖤 Love you, Sombra!

    0 comments · 48 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 10: Sick Sombra

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 10: Sick Sombra is a low-budget animated film and the tenth installment in the King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie series of films. 

    Plot: King Sombra comes down with a severe flu-like illness. Radiant Hope tries to get him to go to the doctor, but he refuses even though he becomes more and more ill and eventually reaches the point of delirium.

    Read More

    0 comments · 118 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 7: School Of Sombra (Warning: DISTURBING CONTENT)

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 7: School of Sombra is a low-budget animated film. It is one of many sequels to the infamous King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie.

    Plot: One day, Sombra gets a letter in the mail, claiming he never actually got a proper education and as a result, needs to go back to elementary school. 

    Why This Movie Gets An F-

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    0 comments · 89 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 4: King-Sized Cancer (Warning: GROSS)

    King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 4: King-Sized Cancer

    Plot: King Sombra finds out he has a massive tumor growing in his stomach and that he needs to get it treated right away. But when it turns out the cancer can’t be cured, the normally arrogant equine dictator must come to terms with his own mortality and rethink the way he’s been living his life. 

    Why This Film Will Cause Cancer:

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    0 comments · 84 views
  • 80 weeks
    King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 5: Hotel Sombra

    Plot: King Sombra decides to start his own luxury hotel, but he soon finds that running a hotel is much harder than he expected, and things only get worse when a rival hotel called Hotel Hope opens up nearby. 

    Why You Don’t Want To Stay At Hotel Sombra:

    1. Subpar animation as usual.
    2. Cringey voice acting, especially from Sombra.

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    0 comments · 69 views
Oct
11th
2022

King Sombra's Fantastic Movie 7: School Of Sombra (Warning: DISTURBING CONTENT) · 7:54pm Oct 11th, 2022

King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie 7: School of Sombra is a low-budget animated film. It is one of many sequels to the infamous King Sombra’s Fantastic Movie.

Plot: One day, Sombra gets a letter in the mail, claiming he never actually got a proper education and as a result, needs to go back to elementary school. 

Why This Movie Gets An F-

  1. It’s supposedly the 7th film in the franchise, but it was discovered before the sixth installment, “War of the Sombras” which makes no sense.
  2. Crappy animation that looks like it was done by a five year old using MS Paint.
  3. Awful, cringey voice acting, as always.
  4. Terrible audio quality.
  5. Sombra acts like a complete brat, and has been flanderized to become even more immature and stupid than he usually is.
  6. It doesn’t make sense why Sombra would be sent back to school in the first place. 
  7. Boring plot which just consists of Sombra going to school.
  8. The entire movie is devoted to torturing Sombra and humiliating him, which, while Sombra does deserve it, as a joke it gets very old very fast.
  9. The school Sombra is sent to is a human school, despite the fact that Sombra lives in Equestria and humans don’t exist there.
  10. The bully characters are one-dimensional stereotypes and have no motivations for their actions. The bullies also make inappropriate jokes, such as making remarks about the size of Sombra’s… “ponyhood,” which is not okay for a family film.
  11. Sombra kicks the bullies in their heads in retaliation, causing realistic blood and brains to get everywhere, which is downright gruesome and violent. Sombra’s apparent murdering of the bullies is also never mentioned again.
  12. The school children are supposedly elementary schoolers, yet they behave more like high schoolers, which is bizarre.
  13. It’s implied Sombra actually rapes the school principal in the bathroom. Keep in mind Sombra is a pony and the principal is a human! Let that sink in.
  14. Sombra’s bare butt is shown up close countless times, particularly during the scene where he poops his pants.
  15. Not a single one of the characters in this movie is even a little bit likable.
  16. The kids at the school swear and drink alcohol despite being, you know, little kids!
  17. Sombra has an accident at school, in which photorealistic liquid s**t graphically streams from his anus. And the scene lasts for TEN MINUTES! 
  18. The school doesn’t teach anyone anything — it seems more like a daycare than an actual school.
  19. For Show-and-Tell, Sombra describes how he became “pregnant” with a tapeworm, referencing the disgusting events of the fourth film.
  20. The ending is dumb — all that happens is Sombra just walks out of the school when he decides he’s done with it.
  21. Sombra is portrayed as being even stupider than usual here, and it’s shown he can’t even recite the entire alphabet.
  22. Radiant Hope doesn’t get a major role in this film, and she barely even appears at all.
  23. There’s so much filler! 
  24. The teacher is quite mean-spirited, and she often tells Sombra to shut up even when he isn’t doing anything wrong.
  25. Corny jokes and countless poop jokes.
  26. It’s one of the boringest movies in the entire franchise, and that says a lot considering how boring most of the previous films are.

Redeeming Qualities 

  1. It’s funny to see the bullies teasing Sombra and calling him names such as “Ponyboy.”
  2. Radiant Hope’s delivery of her line, “Have a nice day at school, your majesty!” is priceless.
  3. It is very entertaining to watch Sombra get humiliated by the teacher, even though it gets stale after a while.
  4. “Shut up, Sombra! No one cares what you have to say right now!”
  5. “Haha, looks like King Shitbra’s got the runs!”

Trivia

  1. The subtitle for the movie was originally going to be “KINGdergarten,” but this was ultimately scrapped.
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