Addressing Stuff(On Here And IRL) · 6:42pm Jul 17th, 2022
Hello to any/everyone who's reading this. It's been quite a while since I've made any kind of action on here, huh? Well, yes I'm still alive and fine for the most part. But that being said, I wish to have a serious talk with you all. Nothing life threatening but it's something I've been needing to do but been to scared to do it.
My time on here has been fun. I've enjoyed every second of it in fact. However, as time progresses, I've been feeling... Unneeded. Like I don't matter in the slightest. Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to make this into a pity part((although I think I already failed there...). But I do want to vent my emotions and for once, show a weaker side of me as I've always tried to hide that very fact as to not worry others. If there's two weaknesses I have, it's not being honest with myself and trying to appease everyone(and sometimes failing at both)
I've always tried to roll with the punches and avoid being sad/upset at anyone because at the end of the day, it's always a learning experience and so long as you try your best, that's all that matters. However, even the kindest people have a limit(a very high limit I grant you but still a limit) and can only go so far before one breaks. I very rarely, if ever snap at people and the very few times I have, I've always regretted it immediately after.
That being said, I feel as I've failed people on here. Followers, people I know, everyone. I'm fully aware that I'm not perfect and I never pretend to be but sometimes, it just feels... Hopeless. Like what I'm doing is pointless. Of course, I don't regret meeting anyone on this site. Even the people who disagree, dislike or even downright hate me. Despite what some that have/would say, I don't care about being popular. I just enjoy the company and always try to look for a way to be of use even if it's indirectly.
My passion for stories have always driven me to write and express my emotions. While some would dislike and even misunderstand it, I don't take it as them being mean. Everyone has a right to interpretate their opinion. About a year ago(?) I did get into a debate with another user on here. I won't get into the what as to not being up old drama but it was significant enough to where their friend had to jump in and end the situation. I have felt since then felt terrible for the things that transpired between us. I've made many enemies (both directly and indirectly) and what they said still sticks to me to this day.
It's pathetic I know but it's my fault in the first place. There are times that I think back to everyone I ever hurt and I would cry for mins at a time because of how selfish I could be. To be entirely honest, I'm not even sure saying this on here is even helping or if I'm indirectly upsetting people by selfishly wanting to be more... Personal. I want to help people, not have people worry about me but deep down, I sometimes want to be just seen... Even if it's just for a moment. To have some emotional support. But for someone like me, I don't deserve that. There are so many people who are better and deserve love than I ever could.
But if there's one thing I want to let out, one thing that I want to tell whoever is out there, alone, scared and helpless, you're not alone. You're not like me. You have people who love you and would do anything to see you happy. I know it doesn't mean much from me but if its any consolation, I'm always willing to hear your call. No matter how long it takes, no matter what it is you have to say, I'm willing to be that person that helps. I may be a mess, but I'm willing to always give a helping hand, friend, foe, whoever.
I'm sorry for the depressing blog and/or wasting your time. I just wanted to be able to reach out and talk. Even if nobody listens. This is Suntwi06, signing out.
We got your backs
Your cool.
You're an amazing artist. Don't let anyone tell you different.
If you could use more emotional support, I could help with that. Sent me a PM if you need to talk about something on your mind.
But as for anyone you hurt, I don't know what happened, but if you still feel bad about it my advice would be to tap into that and use it to try not to repeat the mistakes made again. That's what I do when I think about things I did/said that I regretted, especially if it's weighing on my conscience particularly hard.
5673174
holy crap. didn't expect to find u here
omg i had no idea any of this happened. i think the most important thing is that you didn't mean anything u did
5673380
Hehe. Hihi n stuff. ^^
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5673382 Sorry for the radio silence. I fell ill a few days ago and wasn't able to respond back. It doesn't excuse the lack of replying but I wanted to at least let you all know why I was absent. Save for that, thank you guys for love/support
5674160
The important thing is you're okay. That's all that matters right now.
Y’know, time passes, tempers cool, and bad blood thins out. I’m sure whoever you argued with (we’ll call ‘em, uh, Cream Saghert for ease) doesn’t hold anything against you.
Maybe it would make you feel better to reach out and talk. To Cream Saghert. Whoever they may be.
Feeling unneeded?
I tried to chat with you and make you feel good, but you're leaving me hanging here.
Always around.
5674662 I haven't heard from you in... Goodness in what feels like ages.
5675334 I know and I'm sorry about that. I just... Didn't have the drive to really talk to people. I'm aware how hypocritical it sounds but I always noticed your comments.
5675396
It's okay, just glad you're still kicking.