Grandpa's gone · 1:44am Jan 23rd, 2022
Happy New Year since I forgot to say so.
Last week, grandpa's legs starting swelling up alarmingly, and then some tests at the hospital got the doctors worried enough to want him there for observation. As I had thought it might be, it was heart issues. Today his heart gave out and he died in hospital. He was almost 90.
Kind of just numb right now. I don't know if it's because I made peace anticipating his passing when the trouble started, or if this is just waiting until later to really fuck me up. I will say he got to lead a long, eventful life, and his last year and a half after grandma died suddenly was filled with love and support from his family. He even got one last Christmas and New Years under his belt. It's not good at all, obviously, but compared to the other deaths in the family in the last four or five years it was certainly the least sudden or tragic. Maybe the slew of deaths in my life leading up to this were just MORE fucked up and now my perspective is tilted or something.
I can't really think of anything else to say right now so I'll just leave it at that. Life's gonna change a good bit now. I don't know how exactly, but it will. If grandpa still exists, it's a spot of bitter sweetness to know he's with grandma again, just like he wanted to be these past couple years. We gave him a good sendoff.
90 years old, wow. I’m truly sorry to hear that he passed, but pleased to that he got to live such a long life, and he can rest with his wife again.
You take care now 17.
It's bittersweet, but the heartbreak and sadness you feel right now is because of the love you two shared. True sadness comes from love, lost. With no love, there is no sadness. With real, true love, there is nothing but a pit, formed from where that love was.
My grandfather, who is thankfully still with me, always tells me one thing when times get tough or his health declines: "A rich man is one who can bring his wealth with him when he dies. Not money, not treasure, not land or fame, but love. That, can never die, and will live on through you. And if I've given you the love you deserve, and also to all others, then I have died a rich man."
I may not know you, but from your blogs and words, I think your grandfather died a rich man.