Ranking the Rarity Songs (From Worst to Best) · 8:13pm Jan 5th, 2022
Inspired by a poll on Equestria Daily asking what the best Rarity song is, I decided to give my opinions on the various songs Rarity had throughout the show, all of them performed by singing double Kazumi Evans. Equestria Daily counts six songs as Rarity songs, including two by human Rarity from Equestria Girls. But there's two songs not included on the poll that I think counts as a Rarity song, which bumps the total up to seven. However, not all songs are created equal. So which songs truly shine like diamonds, and which songs are duds? Keep in mind that I won't just be ranking these songs based on personal enjoyment or lyrics, but also on how well they reflect Rarity as a character. And of course, my personal opinion is involved with this so please respect it.
8. Life is a Runway (Equestria Girls Rainbow Rocks Encore Shorts)
Why it's on the bottom: The first of two human Rarity songs, this one at first glance would probably make you think it's based on "Life is a Highway", either the original or the iconic Rascal Flats cover for Disney/Pixar's Cars. It is, but that's about where the creativity ends. The song is simply about human Rarity's desire to give fashionable makeovers to others and be a runway model. It's very one-dimensional and one note, yet another example of how all the Rainbooms sadly never progressed past being one or two dimensional at best versions of their pony counterparts. This is exactly what pony Rarity was praised for not being, a girl obsessed with fashion and nothing else. Heck, compared to the previous two songs from the other two encore shorts, this one is considerably lesser by comparison. They may have gone with their best foot forward, but that's no reason to save the worst for last.
7. Fit Right In (She's All Yak)
Why it's not on the bottom: This song seems to have been made solely to give Kazumi Evans one last solo song before the show wrapped up. Yona does join in during the brief reprise (which also features the mane six minus Twilight), but aside from that this song is all Rarity. Again, I want to state that Yona was the one who came to Rarity and asked for help. And Yona herself already believed she needed to be a pony to impress Sandbar. We've seen Rarity make this mistake before of giving others what they want even if she might know better. However, aside from the lines "Too Twilight" which means Twilight is now an adjective on top of being a verb, and "Too furry" which could be a nod to the furry fandom, not much really happens. This song is just kind of there. Even "Bein' Big Is All It Takes" seems to have had more effort put into it, perhaps because it might have been part of the script when the episode it was part of was originally written. Of all the Season 9 songs, this one is kind of in the middle of the pack, it's not as sudden as "The Place Where We Belong" or as cliche as "Bein' Big Is All It Takes", but it lacks the appeal of "A Better Way to Be Bad" or the emotional value of "The Magic of Friendship Grows".
6. It's Gonna Work (Spice Up Your Life)
Why it's in third to last: Right off the bat, we're not treated to a good impression of Rarity when she decides to "follow the pattern" and make The Tasty Treat exactly like all the rated restaurants, even though she's already seen how bad they are. There is the argument to be made that she's working with someone's else style instead of her own, therefore she isn't willing to be as bold or experimental as she might be if she were going it alone. But Rarity has always prided herself on setting trends, not following them, especially bad trends. Maybe there's a point to be made about imitating the success of others, of learning from what they do in order to succeed. But that doesn't mean shamelessly copying them right down to a t. I'm making this sound like it's the worst possible representation of Rarity, and the fact that we only get an instrumental reprise when Rarity's making amends probably doesn't help. But there's some good moments, largely in the hook with Pinkie Pie and in the contrast presented between the two. At least it has a unique identity with its whole Bollywood musical vibe, which is more than I can say for the two songs below it.
5. The Other Side (Equestria Girls: Better Together Season 1)
Why it's in the bottom half: Just like with "Life is a Runway", this song is the last song on the last short of a particular collection, in this case the Equestria Girls "spin-off" that was really just a bunch of glorified music videos with little else going for them. But at least unlike "Life is a Runway" this song gives human Rarity a bit of an actual character, even if it's just lazily copy pasting her pony counterpart's personality. Hey, any personality's better than no personality. In this song, human Rarity is suffering from artist's block in the only time we ever see her working as an artist or a fashion designer. And she's singing all about how she'll find a way to get through it. It isn't bad, but another song on this list already did that and did it better.
4. Rules of Rarity (Canterlot Boutique)
Why it's in the top half: This song goes through a lot of different emotions in just its original version and not counting the depressing reprise after Rarity more or less admits defeat. We go from Rarity being excited to start working in her dream boutique, to feeling like her artistic vision has been compromised, to feeling like she's in a creative slump, to getting a burst of inspiration and finally to bringing a new artistic vision to life. The problem might be how there's no real transition between the verses, the song starts and ends abruptly. It's sung well and has some nice visuals during Rarity's fantasy sequence, as well as when she's dancing with her new princess dress. But other than that not a whole lot really happens. It's understandable that this song wasn't the one that would get the most attention in Season 5, and Rarity already had some good songs under her belt. But it kind of feels like a poor man's version of a song we'll see higher up on the list.
3. Becoming Popular/The Pony Everypony Should Know (Sweet and Elite)
Why it's so high: This is very much Rarity's "I Want" song, even with later seasons and her opening of boutiques in Canterlot and Manehattan (and potentially around the world by the time of "The Last Problem"). She desires popularity and to be part of the social circle of the elites, the uppercrusts (figuratively and literally). What may be most interesting to note is that throughout the song, Rarity isn't just selfishly seeking attention and fame and fortune. She's actually using her newfound prestige to get the Canterlot nobility to try things they otherwise wouldn't try or wouldn't consider. It just further contributes to the problem of "Sweet and Elite" in that they obviously want to show Rarity in a selfish light in order to drive home the moral later on, but we see that she's actually using her newfound fame to make a difference and get others to try new things. You could say it's manipulative of her, but if it's getting Canterlot's upper class to stop being snobbish all the time it's not really a bad thing. There are also some interesting visual details. At one point we have Rarity wearing what appears to be the same dress she wore to the Grand Galloping Gala (and breakfast with Princess Celestia at Sugarcube Corner back in "A Bird in the Hoof" for that matter), and we also see her apparently hanging out with Prince Blueblood, potentially indicating that the two have patched things up (or she's at least tolerating him to further her connections). For only the second song in Season 2 and the last song Rarity would have to herself for over a year, it's pretty good. But other songs in Season 2 ended up overshadowing this one, and Rarity has two other songs that I think capture her character better.
2. Generosity (Rarity Takes Manehattan)
Why it's not on the top: Yeah, it's as subtle as a brick about its point. It's practically reminding viewers that Rarity is the Element of Generosity (like the episode itself didn't already spout it out at least two dozen or so times), likely because this was Rarity's return to the spotlight after executive meddling denied her an episode in Season 3. But the song has such a great lead in with Rainbow Dash making a meta joke about ponies just bursting into song, right before Rarity does exactly that. It does seem to be bowering a bit from "Smile, Smile, Smile" as Rarity insists that she's doing this to make others happy, and perhaps to get something in return which is a bit of a selfish view of generosity. Ideally, one should be generous without expecting reward in return (aside from maybe acknowledgement in the form of a "Thank you"). But I don't think it's entirely wrong to want to be compensated when giving of yourself. Yes, a good deed is its own reward, but sometimes having an incentive can compel one to be more giving than they would be otherwise. And the sad reprise makes it clear that Rarity still cares about others, particularly her friends. Much like Rainbow Dash, as much as she may want fame and fortune, she isn't willing to forsake her values just to get ahead. The song is really bouncy and catchy, and the mane six chiming in during the taxi repair scene is quite nice. However, there is one thing that really didn't deserve to be there: Spike getting his carrot dog snatched away by a pigeon. They may have thought it was funny, but Spike didn't do anything to deserve having that happen, especially when he was already suffering as it is having to haul Rarity's luggage around. The lack of subtly and the Spike scene do hold this song back a little. Plus, the remaining song really shows Rarity at her best, and came at a crucial time for her character and the show as a whole.
1. Art of the Dress (Suited for Success)
Why it's on the top: Predictable? Maybe. But there's a very good reason why it deserves to have its praises sung to high heavens. Prior to this song and the episode it's part of, Rarity felt like the odd one out of the mane six. It seemed like she was just there because the show had to have her there. She was the Element of Generosity and ran her own boutique, but those attributes never seemed to come into play for long. She was defined solely by her love of fashion, which just seemed to be like every other girl character in girl cartoons up to this point, obsessed with fashion just for the sake of it. It was this song that turned things around, put them all into perspective. Rarity's love of fashion was now from that of an artist's and a creator's perspective. She was not a trend follower, she was a trend setter. You wouldn't think a song about dress making would be enjoyable, but they delve into the technical aspects, the creative side of it. The visuals flow nicely in both the original and the reprise. And I've mentioned several times already how the terms they use during the hook are terms that would be used if one were designing dresses for actual horses, it's not just making up gibberish for the sake of a rhyme. And is it just me, or does anyone else find Rarity more attractive when she has her sewing glasses on? There is one line that feels kind of odd, the line about "make sure that it stays within our budget". At no point before or after does the episode mention anything about payment. From what I can gather, Rarity is doing this entirely for free even if she probably could charge for her services. It was at this point that Rarity became the show's breakout character, and the show itself knew what it wanted to do: It was going to show how just because something is for kids doesn't mean it can't be made in a way that even adults can enjoy it. This is the song that truly defines who Rarity is, and it's worthy of being her best song because of that.
And there you have it, come back tomorrow when we'll look at and rank all the Pinkie Pie songs, even those solo ones she sang to herself so often in the early days of the show.
I don't think Life is a Runway is as one dimensional as you make it out to be. It's about learning to express your true self on the outside. And I really like the line "Call it superficial, I call it irrefutable." It's sending the message that it's not undesirable to be into fashion just cause it's stereotyped a lot. And "Don't be scared to show you have personal style. Just go do your thing, you'll make everyone smile" is telling people not to just follow what everyone else does, which is also a good message. In addition, it shows Rarity's generosity in a much subtler way than Generosity. Plus, the vocals and visuals are great.