Mortal Kombat vs. EG, Round Seven · 5:44am Sep 15th, 2021
And here we are at the finish. The last phase of my Mortal Kombat banter series. This has been a lot of fun, but I'll admit, I am a bit happy to be at the end of this little side project.
So without further ado, let's begin.
First up on the roster, is the easygoing wind god Fujin. Brother of Raiden and fellow protector of Earthrealm. And an all-around swell guy too. 
Fujin: "The sapling does not break against the gale."
Fluttershy: "Um, that's pretty, but what do you mean?"
Fujin: "That you have greater strength than you know, Fluttershy."
Aria Blaze: "Go on and blow away, windbag."
Fujin: "You're coming to the Sky Temple, Siren."
Aria Blaze: "I don't take orders from you."
Fujin: "Your devotion to your sister is laudable."
Timber Spruce: "I don't know if I can say the same for you and Raiden."
Fujin: "I cannot take up arms against my brother."
Rarity: "Oh, Fujin darling, surely you must know something!"
Fujin: "Liu Kang and Kitana's relationship is neither your nor my affair, Rarity."
Rarity: "Ohh! I suppose, but they're just so adorable together!"
Fujin: "We all have our demons to face, Sunset."
Sunset Shimmer: "Some of them more literal than others."
Fujin: "You have done an admirable job all the same."
Fujin: "Your former teacher is an old friend."
Sunset Shimmer: "Wait, you know Princess Celestia?"
Fujin: "We have traveled in similar circles."
Pinkie Pie: "That meanie Frost tried to kill you?"
Fujin: "Fortunately, I was able to get my second wind."
Pinkie Pie: "Ohhh! I get it!" *giggle-snorts*
Next on the list... one of the more infamous recent villains of the game. As well as one of the most grotesque.
D'Vorah... a walking insect colony coagulated into the form of one creepy, evil bug-woman.
D'Vorah: "This One's been seeking you."
Flash Sentry: "I'm afraid to ask why."
D'Vorah: "You will make a succulent nest for Kytinn larvae."
Princess Twilight: "You're worse than Chrysalis ever was."
D'Vorah: "You speak of the Changeling queen?"
Princess Twilight: "Of course you know her."
D'Vorah: "Does pony flesh taste different?"
Sunset Shimmer: "What kind of twisted question is *that*?"
D'Vorah: "This One shall learn the answer."
Fluttershy: "I can't let you bring the Hive to Equestria."
D'Vorah: "This One was told you care for all creatures."
Fluttershy: "Not when they kill for fun."
D'Vorah: "Where are your sisters?"
Sonata Dusk: "I don't need Aria or Dagi to squish you."
D'Vorah: "They have sent you to your death, idiotic Siren."
Applejack: "You're an ugly sack of beetles all right."
D'Vorah: "This One is Kytinn, you fool!"
Applejack: "Got no problem exterminatin' ya either way."
After D'Vorah, we got another spooky / gross contender on the list.
A witch devoted to Shao Kahn, with the horrific magic based on the use of blood (either hers or her opponent's) as a weapon.
Her name is "Skarlet".
Skarlet: "I can smell your unicorn blood."
Sunset Shimmer: "And you're not getting one drop of it."
Skarlet: "I will bathe in it, Equestrian."
Sci-Twi: "Why are you doing this? I've done nothing to you!"
Skarlet: "Your magic blood calls to me, I must have it."
Sci-Twi: "You've become addicted to your own power."
Skarlet: "We are much alike, you and I."
Pinkie Pie: "Uhh, I don't see how."
Skarlet: "We are both, driven, by our appetites."
Gloriosa Daisy: "I can't believe it. Vampires too?"
Skarlet: "I am a blood mage, foolish woman."
Gloriosa Daisy: "Is there really that much of a difference?"
Skarlet: "I've not tasted Siren blood."
Aria Blaze: "And you never will, freakshow!"
Skarlet: "Fight me, it only makes me hungrier."
Skarlet: "People do not appreciate us."
Aria Blaze: "So, you suggesting we team up?"
Skarlet: "That I kill you to prove my worth."
Starlight Glimmer: "You owe nothing to Shao Kahn."
Skarlet: "He took me from the gutter and gave me everything."
Starlight Glimmer: "He made you into a bloodthirsty monster."
Starlight Glimmer: "Leave Shao Kahn, we can help you be better!"
Skarlet: "Spare me the sanctimony, you privileged brat."
Starlight Glimmer: "If you won't accept my help, then have it your way."
Next on the roster... a bonus fighter from MKX. A drunken master of kombat who (apparently) trained Liu Kang and Kung Lao, and while portly and with a very... unusual (and kinda gross) fighting style, has proven to be formidable in his own right.
Welcome, Bo' Rai Cho.
Bo' Rai Cho: "You have two choices ahead of you."
Adagio Dazzle: "Dare I ask what they are?"
Bo' Rai Cho: "I forget. Let's fight!"
Bo' Rai Cho: "You ferment misery for your enjoyment!"
Adagio Dazzle: "Duh. I am a Siren."
Bo' Rai Cho: "I'll remove the viper's head..."
Pinkie Pie: "You're friends with Raiden?"
Bo' Rai Cho: "He and go back many, many years."
Pinkie Pie: "Hee! I knew he had a sense of fun!"
Pinkie Pie: "When this is all over, we're gonna throw the BIGGEST party!"
Bo' Rai Cho: "If there are drinks, I will be there!"
Pinkie Pie: "I dunno if you and I are talking about the same kind of party..."
Bo' Rai Cho: "You are reckless, child, and impulsive!"
Rainbow Dash: "I don't need a lecture from you."
Bo' Rai Cho: "You're right. You need much more."
Bo' Rai Cho: "I asked you here for training."
Rainbow Dash: "Training? I'm already awesome enough, thank you!"
Bo' Rai Cho: "First, we will correct that attitude..."
Gloriosa Daisy: "Are you already in the drink?!"
Bo' Rai Cho: "I do not like your implication."
Gloriosa Daisy: "And I don't like the smell of whatever's in that flask!"
Gloriosa Daisy: "You're Master Bo' Rai Cho?"
Bo' Rai Cho: "You were expecting someone more flashy?"
Gloriosa Daisy: "Well, someone less, sloshed."
Bo' Rai Cho: "I invited you here for training."
Flash Sentry: "You sure you didn't invite me to drink?"
Bo' Rai Cho: "Training first. Then, rice wine!"
Sonata Dusk: "Whoa! Someone's had too many tacos!"
Bo' Rai Cho: "What is this taco you speak of?"
Sonata Dusk: "*Whaaaaaat?!*"
Next up is another unusual fighter - like Reptile, he was originally a hidden fighter, created entirely due to fan theorization and belief that "Ermac" (initially just an error-counting scan of the old arcade cabinets) was some kind of clue. Developers ran with the theory and created Ermac: a red-clad fighter, made up of thousands of souls bound together in one body, possessing mighty telekinetic powers. He is many, and he is here to fight...
Ermac: "We sensed your psychic energy."
Sunset Shimmer: "Wait, you can just do that?"
Ermac: "Your power will not save you."
Ermac: "Challenge us at your peril."
Sunset Shimmer: "I don't want to *fight* you, I want to free you."
Ermac: "We are evolved beyond what you know."
Pinkie Pie: "Wow! You're all glowy and floaty!"
Ermac: "You are one against many."
Pinkie Pie: "Ooh! That sounds like a catchphrase!"
Ermac: "Beware, foolish girl."
Aria Blaze: "Your souls will be mine."
Ermac: "We will claim *yours*, Siren."
Starlight Glimmer: "You want a fight, you've got one."
Ermac: "You face ten thousand souls."
Starlight Glimmer: "I like those odds!"
Ermac: "Our magic will consume you."
Gloriosa Daisy: "I have powers of my own!"
Ermac: "A pittance compared to ours."
Ermac: "You are not a singular being."
Gloriosa Daisy: "What?! What do you mean?"
Ermac: "Gaea Everfree resides in you."
Applejack: "You look in pretty rough shape."
Ermac: "Magic binds me still!"
Applejack: "For how much longer?"
Applejack: "You some kind of super-ghost?"
Ermac: "We are a collection of spirits."
Applejack: "There a difference between 'spirit' and 'ghost'?"
The blind swordsman is something of a familiar trope, especially with media that involves martial arts or such. This character puts a bit of a different spin on things because his blindness also comes with psychic powers - that only add to the deadliness of his swordsmanship.
Please welcome Kenshi Takahashi, to the roster.
Kenshi: "<<Greetings, Sunset Shimmer.>>"
Sunset Shimmer: "Wait, did you just--?!"
Kenshi: "Just a little show of what you could do with your gift."
Kenshi: "Shall we begin?"
Sunset Shimmer: "Are we practicing magic or martial arts?"
Kenshi: "Who says we can't do both?"
Flash Sentry: "Not sure I'm comfortable with a mind-reader around."
Kenshi: "Your ex-girlfriend can read your thoughts too, can't she?"
Flash Sentry: "Point taken."
Flash Sentry: "I have to say, I did like sparring with you."
Kenshi: "I'm just as deadly as Mr. Cage."
Flash Sentry: "And with a lot less dirty jokes too."
Kenshi: "A fellow telekinetic."
Sci-Twi: "How do you know about my magic?"
Kenshi: "I only wish to help."
Kenshi: "Sento greets you, Twilight."
Sci-Twi: "Wait, your sword can think?"
Kenshi: "It is a rather unique blade."
Starlight Glimmer: "Your sword has souls inside it?!"
Kenshi: "My warrior ancestors."
Starlight Glimmer: "No offense, but that just sounds creepy."
Starlight Glimmer: "Let's do this."
Kenshi: "You'd be wise to reconsider."
Starlight Glimmer: "And, done. *Now* let's go."
Kenshi: "Just another puffed-up thug with an attitude."
Aria Blaze: "You've never seen anyone like me."
Kenshi: "Oh, I get it. 'Cause I'm blind."
Kenshi: "Miss Blaze."
Aria Blaze: "You're not going to read my thoughts!"
Kenshi: "There's little that's worth reading."
Princess Twilight: "Have you ever thought about freeing Sento's souls?"
Kenshi: "One day, Twilight, but not today."
Princess Twilight: "How long until it *is* that day?"
Princess Twilight: "I'm sorry, but... how did you lose your sight?"
Kenshi: "I was blinded by Shang Tsung."
Princess Twilight: "Another crime to add to his sentence."
And finally, for the last member of this roster...
He's the son of Kenshi, having inherited his father's telepathic ability, and a minor level of telekinesis as well. Due to a... distant, relationship, with his father, he was largely trained (and raised) by Hanzo Hasashi, formerly Scorpion, this young ninja is a formidable fighter with his bladed whips and martial arts ability... but also possessing a sharp sense of humor, and a genuinely good heart as well.
Welcome Takeda Takahashi to the setting.
Takeda Takahashi: "You want to join the Shirai Ryu?"
Timber Spruce: "Yeah. I want to be able to help Twilight out!"
Takeda Takahashi: "It's a lot tougher than working a summer camp, Timber!"
Starlight Glimmer: "What am I thinking right now?"
Takeda Takahashi: "You were thinking?"
Starlight Glimmer: "Guess I set myself up for *that* one."
Starlight Glimmer: "Why don't you trust me? We're on the same side!"
Takeda Takahashi: "Sorry, I've heard some things with the word 'cult' in them."
Starlight Glimmer: "Even in another world, I still have to apologize..."
Takeda Takahashi: "So, magic diamonds? That's a little out-there."
Rarity: "Bladed whips are quite unusual too, darling."
Takeda Takahashi: "Eh, fair enough."
Applejack: "So, your pa's that Kenshi fellow?"
Takeda Takahashi: "He's my father, but Master Hanzo's the one who really raised me."
Applejack: "...You saying that your father abandoned you?"
Applejack: "So! You and Jacqui, huh? Got anything to share?"
Takeda Takahashi: "Rarity put you up to this, AJ?"
Applejack: "Didn't need to read my mind to tell that, I bet."
Takeda Takahashi: "Let's go over the ground rules."
Rainbow Dash: "Aren't there no rules in a real fight?"
Takeda Takahashi: "Yeah, that about covers it!"
Pinkie Pie: "Ooh, can you read my mind, right now!"
Takeda Takahashi: "Yeah, uh, Sunset warned me not to."
Pinkie Pie: "Aww! No fair!"
Pinkie Pie: "Help me plan a surprise party for mister Hanzo?"
Takeda Takahashi: "That's *really* not a good idea, Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie: "Pretty please? He could use some cheering up!"
...And there you have it.
Thanks for reading, everybody. I really appreciate it. 
Maybe sometime, I might do one last post in this vein - take a stab at the iconic "mirror match" aspect of the Mortal Kombat games. But for now, I'm finished, having done all that I care to with the major roster of fighters.
Let me know, as always, what you all thought of this! 
Kindness is not stupidity.
Because poor literacy is kewl.
That's a stretch.
Points for the joke, but I don't think she was going for that.
Good decision. Just about the only worse mind to try to read in MLP would be Discord's. Pinkie is still (probably) mostly human/equine. Discord is 2 steps short of an Eldritch Abomination.
Sunset Shimmer: It's impossible to read your mind.
Ermac: The countless souls inside us overwhelm your telepathy.
Sunset Shimmer: Guess there's really no reasoning with you, then.
Adagio Dazzle: Looks like Shao Kahn has sent you to your demise.
Skarlet: He entrusts me to stop you from meddling with his plans.
Adagio Dazzle: Please! He just wants to test my might.
Fujin: Is it true you like kites?
Starlight Glimmer: Uhhh... Maybe?
Fujin: Perhaps, we can go fly a couple after training.
D'Vorah: Tell me where Chrysalis is.
Princess Twilight: Why? So you can team up with her?
D'Vorah: So I can teach her a lesson in how to properly lead a hive.
5582222
I love the one with Fujin and Starlight Glimmer.
5582170
Nicely summarized. I've had that exchange between Flutters and D'Vorah floating around for a while, I was very proud to finally share it. XD
Yeah, Mortal Kombat is one of the biggest offenders in that regard.
You can make a good drinking game of the ways that the series has used the letter "K" over the years.
Yeah, I agree, but she *is* a homicidal blood junkie devoted to an immortal evil overlord, so logic's not gonna be her forte.
Most likely, yeah. A big part of the exchange came from a similar one between Kenshi and Triborg, and I liked Kenshi's "Oh, 'cause I'm blind" quip enough I just wanted to use it for something. He does seem to have a couple of blind jokes in his repertoire, at any rate.
Agreed. (Honestly, once or twice I thought of putting together an exchange or two for Discord himself... but he seemed like too much of a game-breaker in terms of raw power. Even Kronika had clearer limits on her time powers.)
5582272
That sounds like a bad idea.
5582281
Yeah, most likely.
Apparently in the MK universe, a lot of the words that are spelled with a "K" instead of a "C" are even the *proper* spellings for those terms as well. Damn! XD