On Why the Discourse on "Trans" Matters to Me · 10:32pm Jul 24th, 2021
I've voiced my thoughts on the whole concept of transgenderism a few times previously, sometimes in blogs, sometimes in comments. A lot of misunderstandings tend to follow, which on the one hoof are never completely unavoidable, especially when saying something that other people might not want to hear, but on a second hoof, perhaps could have been headed off, if just a little bit, if I was a bit more upfront with why I care. It's not that I've been hiding it, exactly; more, I haven't always had a clear picture of my own feelings, and to an extent I didn't think it was relevant. Part of it is a stubbornness born of a commitment to the logical ideal that arguments stand or fall on their own merits, regardless of who says them or why; I don't want to add in information that isn't relevant to the statement being made because people will tend to focus on it instead. Of course, this ignores that people will tend to focus on anything other than the logic of an argument anyway, so it's not as if it really matters.
When I was in middle school, I would sometimes try on my sisters' clothes when I was alone in the house (or, occasionally, when I thought I could be sneaky enough that the people home wouldn't notice). Skirts and dresses, leotards, bathing suits, bras, panties once or twice, one pair of stockings (that I regret to say I not only ripped, but never admitted to ripping. I should probably apologize for that at some point so it doesn't haunt me to my grave). This does not make me "trans". The clothes one wears have no bearing on gender, and to take a position otherwise is to imply that one can wear the "wrong" clothing; it is an endorsement of socially enforced gender norms and is against the doctrine of individual freedom that I hold dear. In short, it's bigotry to say that wanting to wear dresses makes a man trans. (I would also take issue with the term "crossdresser", because it implies, again, that there is a right and a wrong set of clothing.)
Some of my favorite stories in this fandom are of a male character who becomes female, sometimes consciously, sometimes through events out of their control. I enjoy reading stories from the perspective of such a character... including erotic ones. My own erotic fantasies often incorporate this theme, and I prefer reading an erotic story or enjoying a pornographic image from the perspective of the woman, the mare, or the bottom. This does not make me "trans". To take what would be best categorized as a sexual fetish and position it as evidence of who or what I am would be to misunderstand the nature of sexual fetishes as not only rooted in fantasy, but only being one small part of life, not a defining trait. It would imply a bunch of absurdities as well, including that if these fantasies mean I should identify as a woman, they also mean I should identify as a pony, since the same logic applies. There's also the matter that many of these erotic stories and fantasies include "feminization", that is, clothing, items, and behaviors stereotypically associated with the female. To use social expectations in a fetish, that's fine, because it is merely an acknowledgement that those expectations exist. But to use them as a method of defining oneself is to imply that those social expectations are "right", which, again, is bigotry; it's unfair to everybody who doesn't fit those expectations because it implies that every one of them is the wrong sex.
For the last year, I've been growing out my scalp hair. I've considered plans to potentially remove my facial hair, and perhaps deal with the excessive hair in other places (the hair on my chest is practically fur, which actually makes me more okay with it than the hair on my arms and legs, although I'm still considering whether I'd rather just have smooth skin there as well). I have a desire to feel "pretty", to look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. This... still does not make me trans. Although it is a consideration of my body, rather than mere social mores (although the feeling itself may be influenced by social mores... that's beyond the topic of this blog, though), it is mostly focused on outward appearance and secondary sexual characteristics; things which can correlate with one sex or the other, but which do not necessarily go with one of them. To take non-absolute correlations as indications of being part of one group or another is to treat them as absolute mandates, which is, again, bigotry. To take a position otherwise would be to imply that any man without facial hair cannot call themselves a man simply because it correlates more with a woman.
I've considered whether I would want to "be" a woman; to have surgery or otherwise be physically modified to have primary sexual characteristics different from those I was born with. My answer is complicated. If it was inexpensive, safe, and easily reversible, then I would absolutely try it out. But with current medicine, it is none of those things. Perhaps it will approach that in the future, but likely not while I'm still alive. Am I trans for saying yes to this? No. Not only because the yes is highly qualified, but also because I don't truly know the source of my interest. Hence the wish for it to be reversible; for all I know, this is a simple matter of "the grass is greener on the other side"; I don't hate my penis, after all. I just wonder what it feels like to have the other thing there. It happens that in "grass is greener" situations, once you actually reach the other side, you'll often become disillusioned and wish to go back to the side you started on. I worry that many of the people who've decided to transition in the current wave of trendy transgenderism will become victims of this. All of them? Surely not. But the sheer amount of people who's reason for identifying as trans appears to amount to one of the positions I've outlined above (ones where social norms are the driving force, rather than considerations of the physical body; if social norms are the problem, the solution is in social change, not physical modification) makes it likely that at least some of them are getting duped by a social trend into doing something they'll regret down the line.
I've considered the idea of getting a female bodysuit, as a way to "try it out" without the risk or irreversibility (and less costly, although still expensive). Does this make me trans? No. Because I'm not attempting to 'transition', the word for which "trans" is short. A costume is not a change in body. I would still be a man wearing a suit, not a woman. It is only a woefully incomplete approximation of the goal. Even the best available medical treatments are not currently capable of making a man into a woman or vice-versa; it's a better approximation than a body suit, but it's still the same concept: An approximation, rather than the goal wholly realized. Even if I come to the conclusion that it's not a "grass is always greener" thing, that I genuinely and truly want to be a woman... that goal is out of reach. I can play pretend. I can approximate it. I could even, potentially, trick others over it... but it wouldn't be true. That's not to say playing pretend or approximating it are wrong, although the third option of tricking people is wrong due to dishonesty being wrong. But it wouldn't be the real thing, and that matters. Reality matters. Especially when an intrinsic part of desire is about reality being different from how it is, not merely deluding myself into believing reality to be something it is not. There is a difference, a fundamental difference, between changing reality through actions that effect the world around you, or ignoring reality in favor of a fantasy-turned-delusion. And importantly, this applies to everybody. Surgery does not make a man a woman; they're still a man with surgery. To claim otherwise is to be entirely unfair to the people who care about reality, the people who understand the truth of the limits of our medical abilities and desire more. To claim that taking the much lesser effort of merely dressing to appear female makes you a woman is even more offensive, because it implies that everybody who's actually gone through surgery has done so unnecessarily, that they could have achieved their goal of being a woman by just putting on a bodysuit, or maybe even just stuffing a bra. And to claim that merely saying you feel like a woman makes you a woman is immense bigotry, which implies that even stuffing a bra is wasted effort, that reality is whatever you desire just by thinking about it.
TL;DR: If I had the mentality of a modern progressive, I would be going around "identifying" as a cute pony mare. This isn't a joke, I am being completely genuine here. I don't do so because there's a difference between desire and reality. There's a difference between fantasy and delusion. There's a difference between striving to make something true and pretending that it already is. And there's a deep, dangerous problem in people who not only refuse to acknowledge these differences, but go so far as to attack and dehumanize people who don't play along.
I expect the comments to be completely toxic. I'm not in the mood, so I'm going to be pretty aggressive with deletions and bans, here.
Edit: Apparently informing people that you won't tolerate toxicity actually works.
Hey
You do you
I say...
Just be a decent person.
Careful, I'm pretty sure this puts you on the Nazi List. Now you'll never get off.
Edit, since I realize that this first line comes with the implication that I agree with you: I think there's a real argument, based in science, that adults should be able to undergo gender transitioning at their will. It's a personal choice, and I think there's something sacred about the mind. People don't want to change their mental identity, their self-image. Some type of medicine or treatment that can alter the psyche like that, even an effective and safe one, is perturbing on an instinctive level. So when there's a mismatch, we choose to alter the body to match the mind, and we can only hope that with the progress of medicine and science we'll be able to make those changes with ease and comfort.
5559653
I admit to being a little confused why that introduction was necessary, because it implies that you're about to say something that I disagree with, when I can find nothing to disagree with in your comment.
5559767
What we definitely disagree on is how someone can identify themselves as a woman despite undergoing no physical transformation at all. From reading your blog you seem to believe that one is only rightfully called "transgender" when they've undergone treatment to change their physical gender. I disagree. I have trans friends, including ones that have no hormone therapy or surgery at all, that I refer to as their ideal gender, and I don't think it's fair ir right to treat their dysphoria as a delusion.
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Dysphoria is not a delusion, but there is a difference between "I'm uncomfortable with what I physically am" and "I'm not what I physically am". The latter is a delusion; it's not dysphoria, it's an irrational response to the dysphoria. Reality sucks sometimes, and the idea that it's unfair to acknowledge that reality sucks is... stupid. A lot of people aren't what they want to be, in a lot of different ways, but that doesn't mean people who are poor can just say "I identify as rich" and suddenly have the benefit of not starving.
Now, what is unfair is falsely conflating me saying "I think that the factual claim you've made is incorrect" with a restriction on behavior which I have not at any point advocated, which appears to be what you did in characterizing "adults consenting to medical procedures" as something you thought I would disagree with. I'm kind of surprised, because you're the one who mocked knee-jerk "he's a Nazi" reactions, but you're exhibiting the same mentality to a lesser degree in attributing to me a morally questionable position which I have not taken and in fact oppose on the basis of a comparatively more minor disagreement.
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I suppose you'll have to excuse me, then, because reading your blog I got the distinct impression that you're anti-trans in general. I'd guess that's because the main idea of it seems to be something along the lines of "it's a delusion to identify as something you aren't," which is almost verbatim the argument that I hear when I talk to conservatives on the subject of trans rights. The emphasis of reality vs ideal that it comes back to multiple times really obfuscates your actual position, which I'm now completely unsure what it is. I guess you generally support trans people but are also really limited in who you'd qualify as trans?
5559802
I honestly, genuinely, don't understand how you can get from what I wrote to what you interpret. It's like you skimmed through, saw some key words, and made a broad judgement based on correlation to other times you've heard those words rather than analysis of the words themselves.
If you mean "support trans people" as in supporting people's freedom to make modifications to their lifestyle and body so long as it does no harm to others, absolutely. If you mean "support trans people" as in agreeing with the terminology and ideology that has come to be associated with people who identify as trans, then no. It appears that you're having trouble separating these two notions, which, again, is the problem. I honestly don't know how I can go spilling my heart out about trying on dresses and bras and considering trying a female bodysuit and somehow still be grouped in with the conservatives who would torch me alive for precisely those things. Is it really too much to ask that people read what I've written before forming opinions about me?
So, let me preface this by saying that I am what you’d consider a ‘leftist’, though not because I align with the American Left, I don’t, not really. Regardless, I know that being a libertarian leftist in the US is basically off the far-left edge, so take what I’m about to say like that. Block me if you’re feeling spicy— I don’t care.
I’d like to preface this by stating that I completely agree with the opinions laid out in the beginning of the post. Dressing in feminine clothes doesn’t make one a girl, and in fact, I applaud men who do that. I adore femboys (and for the record; am online friends with one), and F1NN5TER is one of my favorite streamers. Now, because F1NN5TER spends his streams dressing in stereotypically ‘girly’ clothes does not make him a girl, nor does using a stereotypically feminine name. One is not a girl unless they feel like one.
I know you have this preconception that ‘the left’ would like to shove all of these people into a ‘trans’ box, but that’s far from the truth. If anything, I’ve noticed that younger people are starting to demolish gender norms more and more, at least among my school (laying out for you: my state’s libertarian, and my school is an early college program, so make of that what you wish). In fact, there’ve been multiple verifiable instances I can cite which proves this. One person was pushing the idea of ‘Femboy Fridays’ and wearing a skirt to school, and continues being called male to this day, despite the fact that they’re actually nonbinary (by their own account). Similarly, I, a masculine presenting trans-girl, wore a dress to school as opposed to my normal androgynous wardrobe (band tees and sweats), and with the exception of a singular person, who could’ve very well gotten the info from outside sources, am still considered male, despite even using a traditionally ‘feminine’ name (though it sounds identical to a masculine one).
‘The left’ isn’t trying to ‘trans’ people who wear the socially opposite gender clothes, and in fact, the younger generation seems to be demolishing the idea of gender norms in the first place.
However, I do want to address some other parts of this argument.
Let’s start with this: I firmly believe that ‘transgenderism’ isn’t a ‘fad’. Otherwise, Billy Tipton utilized a fad to get big in Jazz back in the 60’s, Andy Warhol took in two people who were utilizing a fad to be in his Factory troupe, The Rocky Horror Picture Show was written, and made intentionally so bad it’s good about a fad, and in 2014, Laura Jane Grace utilized a fad to write an album that sold basically nothing compared to Against Me!’s earlier output, Vylet Pony was taken in by an alleged fad, hell, even half my Discord friends are trans, and this is insinuating that they too fell to a fad, and not a single of of the people I mentioned (with the exception of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, because that’s fictional) didn’t regret it. I may not be a pop culture expert, but I’m fairly certain that fads don’t last decades.
According the Williams Institute of UCLA, a mere .5% of Americans identify under the umbrella of ‘trans’ (here’s that link), I will acknowledge that this is a 2016 study– I couldn’t find anything more recent– and that the numbers may have changed. However, less than 1% of that .5% actually regretted getting SRS (here’s that link). This is a 2021 study. These numbers are the most current they’re going to get. So even if this ‘fad’ exists, than it’s clearly not having that big of an effect on those undergoing it.
That brings me to my next point. While SRS is not reversible, at least not easily or effectively, the most basic of trans treatments are. Specifically, these include puberty blockers, and the big one, hormones. While I don’t know how long these hormones are reversible for, they are reversible for a brief period of time at least.
How do I know this? Well, a while back, Alana McLaughlin, a trans woman, won the MMA championship. The New York Post ran a story covering her win. You might’ve read it, though I could be wrong, since I don’t watch CNN, but they did indeed run the story. They actually ran a couple of stories, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that The Guardian also ran a story about her. I’m not saying it’s a perfect article by any means, lot of sugarcoating, not a lot of straight factual reporting, but if you sift through the slant, there’s some facts there.
Notably, in this article, it notes that McLaughlin had ‘three-month cycles’ of estrogen hormones. She’d stop them every time her chest started to swell up, and begin them again after the effects resided. If this doesn’t prove that hormones are completely reversible, I don’t know what does (here’s the article, it’s not recommended reading, but it does exist).
Here comes the part where you can ban me if you want, you won’t like some of the things I’m about to say, and that’s fair. If you wish to dispel these assumptions, I’d prefer if you sent me a DM in polite debate, because I don’t want to clog up this post, but blocking me is perfectly reasonable, too. However, some of these things sound a lot like doubts. Looking into the mirror and wanting to see yourself as pretty is actually a major symptom of gender dysphoria. I should know— I’ve been there. It’s much more of a symptom if you see yourself as pretty when you think of yourself in the opposite gender. I must also ask that if you hate the hair on your arms and legs so much; why don’t you shave them? It’s probably going to take a lot of razors, sure, but it’s entirely possible.
Also, with how much emphasis you place on the grass possibly being greener on the other side, so to speak, it almost seems like a want. Sure, you differentiate a desire and something in actuality, but let me tell you from experience; gender dysphoria is quite literally a desire to be and present as a different gender. Gender euphoria is what happens when you actually see yourself as part of that gender you want to be.
Sometimes gender euphoria doesn’t happen, but the dissolution of gender dysphoria is usually most important.
Also, political alignments don’t determine your gender. Kaitlyn Jenner is a conservative for crying out loud, and her face was all over the tabloids when she came out.
Like I said, feel free to block me. I don’t even care about a response. However, I’d prefer if you told me why I was wrong in polite debate through DMs so we can talk with each other. Just keep in mind that I will not reply immediately because school is a thing and I have multiple essays due in the next week.
I await your response, even if that response is nothing at all.
I kind of think that in this kind of discussion, it's very important to make sure that all parties are using words - like "man" or "woman" - in the same way - or more realistically, to understand how they aren't.