50 Questions (but do you really want the answers?) · 4:57am Jun 19th, 2021
1. What is your first name?
Filly.
2. How old are you?
Old enough to be your sister.
3. What country are you from?
Equestria.
4. What do you look like?
Purple-maned unicorn with numbers on my flank.
5. What do you wish you looked like?
Purple-maned alicorn with numbers on my flank.
6. How did you come across MLP:FIM?
My ex girlfriend was broke in uni since she signed a lease for a 1-bedroom in downtown Everton with only a sushi job to pay for it. She ended up making some quick cash pitching a show about where we grew up to a toy company. I saw some clips of the show; it looked pretty good. The real place is better, though.
7. What is your favorite ship?
I like sapphic.
8. What is your least favorite ship?
Sunflower. That bitch
9. Have you told anyone outside the fandom that you like MLP?
Uh, they know.
10. Were they a family member?
Seriously. Everypony knows.
11. Favorite MLP episode?
While I'd like you to think I'm a Heart and Hooves Day special, I'm just an "Amending Fences" mare.
12. Who is your favorite superhero?
All of the princesses are pretty OP.
13. Favorite Anti-hero?
No, thanks.
14. Favorite supervillain?
I hear my ex was pretty cute when she was in her bad girl phase. Totally not still attracted to her why did she have to dump me for that Wallflower chick what does she have that I don't
15. Favorite anti-villain?
Discord, in his relentless pursuit of Harmony in a world dominated by Order.
16. What was the last book you read?
"The Missing Mare in the Library" by P. P. Ink
17. What is the last movie you watched?
That fantasy film with the Storm King guy, I think? Weird take on the Acting Princess of Equestria, but the music was alright.
18. Favorite song at the moment?
"Applying Gravity" from The Physics of Oz, that educational musical that debuted on Bridleway a few year back. I've been looping the soundtrack nonstop; it's breathtaking how they've distilled Neighton's Universal Law of Gravity into a show tune. I wish I could see it in-pony -- Muffins told me they drop a chandelier on the audience at the end to illustrate the principle.
19. What song do you always come back to?
"Winter Wrap Up". It's not that I like the song, but after the break up, I moved back to Ponyville, where a local mandate requires all residents to perform the number annually. More recently, this mandate has been extended to include numbers like "Smile". I don't have an amazing voice, and I'm terrible on my hooves, but by the third week of musical rehearsel and mandatory choreography, the songs stick.
20. What is your current job?
Bumming off Equestrian unemployment insurance because nopony wants to hire a mathematician who abandoned her degree to chase a romance fantasy that could never be.
21. What job do you want in the future?
I should probably finish my degree, shouldn't I? Oh, but if I could get married this wouldn't be an issue.
22. Dream job?
I'd like to be analyst some day. The calculus kind, not the kind that gets paid.
23. At this moment what is your greatest achievement?
In high school I proved a well-known (among mathematicians) conjecture about prime numbers. Like any good mathematical advance, it's a minor result with few practical applications, but the proof was by no means trivial, and it earned me quick regard within the Equestrian mathematical community. I earned a full-ride scholarship to Canterlot University; everyone was sure I would go on to prove the Riemane Hypothesis or show P != NP. Clearly that did not happen.
24. At this moment what is your greatest failure?
Ostensibly dropping out and abandoning my potential, but I really want to say "Watching her get away".
25. Do you have any pets?
I can barely be trusted to care for myself, let alone another living creature. Definitely not.
26. What is your dream pet?
A puppy that cares for itself.
27. Do you own any weapons?
Of course not, who do you peg me for?
28. Is there a gun you really want?
What?!
29. What religion are you?
I used to be a Solarist, like most Equestrians. After my interdimensional rendez-vous, I realized the core tenets of most Equestrian religions are certainly false, and I don't know what to believe anymore.
30. If you could hang out with one person in history, who would it be?
I have an affinity for Starswirl the Bearded. Don't you?
31. If you could bring one person back from the dead, who would it be?
I don't think I have the right to play God. Besides, if the afterlife really is so lovely, it would be awfully rude of me to pull someone back to this mortal plane.
32. Are you political?
I believe in freedom of speech, namely the right for me to say whatever I want while nobody else can say anything contradicting me. I learned that one when I was in the monkey world.
33. Are you married?
No, and I can't use my gayness as an excuse anymore, now that Princess Twilight signed into law provisions for same-gender marriages.
34. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I wish. Not anymore. You know how it is.
35. Have a crush on anyone?
Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. Sometimes it's hard to move on when you crush on someone, maybe even fall in love with them, and when you're convinced it's requited because they kissed you back.
36. Care to explain?
You don't easily get over losing something, when you're prepared to spend your whole life with someone, off in some crazy ape world, just because that's where they are, and being with them matters more than anything else. Sometimes it's hard when she turns out to be straight, or leaves you for some dimply Memory Stone monkey. Not saying either of those happened. But you know, it's hard.
37. Do you consider yourself attractive?
I used to. That sounds worse than it is. Or maybe it is that bad. Like, I showered today, right? Yeah, I think so. Probably.
38. If you could spend a day with someone alive who would it be?
I'd like to meet Princess Cadence. She seems so at ease with herself, with her relationships. It might do me some good.
39. Who is your favorite pony?
There is one who I'm still awfully fond of, though maybe pony is a stretch nowadays.
40. Any embarrassing secrets you'd like to share?
Believe me, you've already heard the worst.
41. If you have done any stories/art, what is your favorite piece?
I haven't finished it, but I'm pleased with the novel I'm writing, Spectral, exploring the lives of two mares on the autism spectrum.
42. Are you a virgin?
Uh, I did tell you about my ex, right? What do you think?
43. What is the craziest thing you have done in your life?
Relocated to another dimension to be with a girl I met at an... er.. Anthropic Convention in Canterlot.
44. Favorite TV show besides MLP?
There haven't exactly been TVs around since returning to Equestria.
45. Do you have a fetish of any kind?
I can't believe I'm admitting to this, but... fingers. Just the thought of digits at the end of a hoof, oh my...
What? It's a real thing, it's called cheirophilia, and there's nothing wrong with me, Doctor Quack, I don't want your psychotherapy.
46. Do you regret saying this fetish?
Yes. So much yes.
47. What are some of your favorite MLP stories?
Stories? Wow, I don't read many classics these days, but "A Hearth's Warming Tale" by Choral Deckings will always have a warm place in my heart.
48. Favorite quote?
"Friendship isn't always easy, but there's no doubt it's worth fighting for." -Princess Twilight Sparkle
49. Did you ever hurt someone's feelings just to hurt them?
I try not to. But if she had the gall to waltz back into Ponyville she might leave me no choice. It'd be that or kiss her on the spot.
50. Did you answer all these questions honestly?
Do I look like the Element of Honesty to you?
thank you for sharing something so personal, even though it must have hurt. i totally understand being hung up on an ex, especially if she's, like, really cool and wears a leather jacket and the girl she's with now has a lot in common with you and is also sad and anxious and you're like, wait, you could make it work for her and not for me??? i know it's hard, but i hope you can adjust well to your new situation and find joy in the life that you have, even if it means having to break out into coördinated song with the rest of the town under threat of being banished and then thrown into a dungeon in the place you were banished to. best of luck in following your dreams of becoming an analyst, even though i thought they stopped making those things like fifty years ago, shortly after they stopped making plane geometers.
But what are your thoughts on the most important issues of our times: nose boops and ear scritches.
Wait, that was on purpose?
In any case, there are plenty of Sunsets in the sea. And by sea I mean higher-dimensional probability space. You just need to find one that hasn't been taken by a would-be lethemancer or monkey analogue of the reigning princess.
(Or you could go out and try to find somepony else, but let's be realistic.)
Wally is based tho
5537779
Yeah, because that worked so well for Oroboro's characters.