Equestria Girls Special: "Holidays Unwrapped"... Unwrapped · 3:00pm Apr 25th, 2021
Blog Number 141: Christmas Spirit, Corporate Soul Edition
I was going to discuss all the remaining Equestria Girls specials in one post, but one of them's divided up into six smaller mini-specials, so let's divide and conquer Auntie's excuse for a farewell gift.
The hominid horse spin-off series ends by invoking the Christmas spirit, specifically the bit about the embarrassing relative you admit you love, but really wish had stayed at home, forgotten the sweater, and generally not made you sigh and hang your head over roast dinner.
Rest assured I have nice things to say about it. 
My Very Recent Introduction to Equestria Girls: Holidays Unwrapped
I think it says a lot about this special that I had to use the wiki to remind myself of what was in it.
Even by Equestria Girls standards, this is a trivial, awkward outing, all the more peculiar because it's chronologically our last hurrah to Sunset, Sci-Twi, and the rest. I think I can sum up a lot of it right now by saying it had its fun moments (so isn't totally negligible), but I'd have honestly preferred to end with "Sunset's Backstage Pass", which at least put forward a shockingly great case for Sunset Pie.
Fortunately, I'd been forewarned ahead of time by reading Loganberry's less-than-enthusiastic review, so I cleverly switched around the order in which I watched these specials. An effort sadly shot down by Rainbow Dash making blatant continuity nods in the first five minutes, but you can't blame me for trying.
I went in expecting at least a fun timewaster, and I got, well... let's look at each mini-special in turn, shall we?
Blizzard or Bust
"Boy oh boy, I hope Sunset reveals that snowflake's tragic backstory!"
Yeah, don't think that escaped my attention. We'll get to that later.
The girls fake a snow-in to avoid taking a test. All the girls. Including Twilight, who of all people should be dead against the idea*, and Applejack, because isn't she at least supposed to pay lip-service to honest policy?
* Three mini-specials later, her whole schtick is to point out that breaking and entering is illegal, so what gives here? And have a fit over tests though she may, do we honestly expect her to resort to this level of skulduggery to avoid one?
So on plausibility grounds, we're not off to a great start (Cranky defusing the whole thing is probably the best thing about it). How about entertainment-wise, then? Well... there's a directorially uncertain fight between Pinkie and a raccoon over potatoes. I suppose it goes through the motions of funny, but I think my laughter was in short supply. I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe a baby with laser eyes?
How that raccoon didn't die, like, twelve times against a super is beyond me.
I didn't dislike this one, to be fair. It's not offensive, or anything. There are a few nice moments of the girls showing off their skills here and there, and it's still (faintly) the Equestria Girls fun-loving attitude, when all's said and done. But I was neutral towards the whole thing, which isn't a good sign.
You know what else isn't a good sign? Seeing memories in a snowflake. Either panpsychism is a thing in the EqG world, or Sunset's paving the way for a whole new category of hallucination I didn't even think was possible.**
** Or take a third option: every single villain Psychic-Sunset has come into contact with is now technically a "special snowflake". 
Saving Pinkie's Pie
I feel like I should like this one a lot for having the guts to invoke overdramatic war tropes for a mundane snowball fight. That's my kind of gag. In a strange way, though, I think it didn't go far enough in being ridiculous.
"Just pretend it's a snow hose! Brr!"
(But in all seriousness, Saving Private Ryan is an awesomely powerful movie. I strongly recommend it, and the TV series Band of Brothers too).
True, you get moments that break through, like the slow-mo shots of the "devastation" (Winona taking a bullet for Apple Bloom did get me to chuckle), and whatever the hell Tickle Fruit 2 is (Sunset, please tell me that's like Candy Crush or something).
Only, sometimes in EqG (not unique to this mini-special), you can tell they're trying to be gut-burstingly silly, but the timing's slightly off, or they only go halfway, or they just don't pile on the absurdity like they should in the sort of rapid-fire comedy that'd make it land with a bang.
I don't know if it gets tangled up with the laid-back slice-of-life tone or slow-burn elements or what-have-you, but at times like this when you've got no teenage psychological drama or magical mystery force to buoy up a set of scenes, silly fun is what's left, and it's a shame when you don't feel it's as silly as it should be. Especially here, because it has the feel of a memorable mini-special.
Especially especially when you're trying to sell the idea that Pinkie has to physically walk through a snowball fight to deliver a soufflé to Rarity. C'mon, she's Pinkie Pie! You're telling me she wouldn't just teleport into Rarity's kitchen cupboard just as she's opening it and hand it over? If Rainbow Dash were the recipient, the poor girl couldn't hide from Pinkie Pie if she tried.
A polite reminder that Rainbow Dash can break the sound barrier.
The Cider Louse Fools
This one is a blip (in a good way) on my electrocardiogram of entertainment, almost entirely for the "I know you know I know" battle of wits between Twilight and Flim and Flam, something I didn't realize I wanted until I saw it. At least it tickles a more cerebral itch of pleasure than usual.
Also qualifies as a blip partially because of the montage of bizarre ways the Flim Flam brothers have outsmarted the Apples, though that can't be hard if the family's not bright enough to have them arrested for blatant theft.
(It's somehow both funny and aww-inducing that Apple Bloom adopts an earthworm for a pet without any apparent prejudice; I have a soft spot for the little buggers ever since I learned that Charles Darwin ended his life studying them. I dunno, something about a historical giant in biology having time for a creature that's a byword for worthlessness strikes me as delightfully quaint).
Now explain to me how Winona never accidentally ate Wiggleworth. You know what dogs are like.
Anyway, it's not exactly going down as a series classic, but by this holiday special's standards...
Winter Break-In
A.k.a. The Mundane Solution.
I haven't got much to add to this one, though I liked the Sam Fisher costumes Sunset and Pinkie wear in one of the imagination montages (cute callback to "The Crystal Empire").
Title-Vision Goggles, a little-known optical device in the Fourth Echelon playbook.
Actually, that whole setpiece reminded me of the mission outline gag in Finding Nemo, except with the added fun of Twilight immediately pointing out everything wrong with it.
Although, was Applejack just in love with herself when she came up with her own plan? I don't know what to make of that. I can't even call it an out-of-character moment, since this is technically a different AJ. It's just... what?***
*** Now if it had been Rarity fantasizing all this, then it might've made a lick of sense...
So yeah, another blip, not a bad effort, a simple but effective joke. You could argue it's the same problem as "Blizzard or Bust", but I find it easier to believe the girls would try to nip back into school after hours to fetch something, than that they'd honestly believe Celestia would be fooled by an arts and crafts project outside one window.
Dashing Through the Mall
Zephyr Breeze, but without the meaningfully sharp character arc. Well, we're off to a great start already. We don't even get the comedy of Rainbow Dash getting all glammed up.
Setting aside abhorrent admirers, though, this isn't actually all that bad. Let me tell you a tale: When I watched "The Best Gift Ever" special way back when, one element I found very unconvincing was Rainbow being so blatantly clueless and careless about Fluttershy's gift that Discord of all beings has to dissuade her from defaulting to a candle. Say what you will about Rainbow's intelligence and sensibilities, but this struck me as a pretty shoddy depiction of her ongoing friendship with Fluttershy. So when I watched this mini-special's handling of roughly the same scenario, I practically sat up and went, "Yes! That's how it's supposed to go!"
It's not even the same Rainbow Dash, and somehow Equestria Girls gets her better than the later seasons of the show did. Go figure.
I mean, Rainbow being idiotic enough to leave a present to the last minute isn't a massive improvement in itself, but at least her panicky efforts to make up for it - and her subsequent anger both at the unreasonable last-minute crowds (a pain I know all too well) and at having to put up with a crush in the figurative sense she'd like to crush in the literal sense (er... I'll say I'm familiar with the theory) at least shows her heart's in the right place and she's trying, damnit.
For a short showcase, it's quintessential Dash: laze around half the time, bust a gut trying to do right by her friend the rest. She's even smart enough to recognize when Zephyr hits upon a good idea. It might not give Fluttershy a chance to play the hero, but it at least ends with a cute little gift exchange captured on film.
This one's for Loganberry! Call it a thank you for warning me about this special before I watched it. Call it proof that "Holidays Unwrapped" isn't all bad.
Again, this is hardly classic territory, but the cochleae cordis of my heart were somewhat warmed to a comfortable degree.
O Come, All Ye Squashful
...so it's probably just as well it got cancelled before hitting its third season.
It's a mark of how ambivalent I am towards this one that I still can't decide whether or not Rarity genuinely put some class into those cornucopia costumes. Let's just say I hope the Mardi Gras photo shoot did its job well and that she burned the whole wardrobe afterwards and buried the ashes.
Still, we're not in a good place when one of our parting shots is the sight of the girls bouncing around like blimps while classmates who should have been kinder to their ongoing saviours laugh and take photos. Nice school, isn't it?
And that bizarre roll call at the end seems like an attempt at a farewell to us the audience, which I suppose is technically fine, but not the most culminatory thing to close the curtain on. I mean, it doesn't exactly sum up a series about eldritch threats, heartfelt redemptions, clique-busting diversity, anti-competitive friendships, and subliminal high-glam lifestyles****, now does it?
**** If the Lux Deluxe cruise isn't the clincher, you really haven't been paying economic attention to these girls.
On the other hand, it's not bloated with its own misguided self-importance, so in a very specific but endearing way, it's nice for a series to bow out openly making fun of itself and not taking itself seriously. In some ways, I admire the impulse. Part of the charm of Equestria Girls has always been its sense of breezy, light-hearted fun, even when faced against mind-screwing horrors and teenage emotional drama. I can respect that.
OK, well, it can only get better from here. Next time, we delve into "Spring Breakdown", whereupon I ask myself two very important questions: What is the significance of Equestrian portals opening elsewhere in the human world, and what the hell is up with Ragamuffin?
That's all for now. Impossible Numbers, out.
It's Roger Rabbit logic. Pinkie can't exploit her toon abilities if it would be funnier to see her struggle.
But yeah, this was a weird case of barely salted popcorn for dessert in terms of narrative heft when closing out a series. Enjoyable, but far more forgettable than you'd expect for the last piece of media to involve these characters. It's especially sad because there were plans to explore the question of human Sunset. (On the other hand, maybe it's better that that was ultimately left to fan speculation.)
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Hm, I suppose observation lends credence to the theory. Although imagine my astonishment when I discovered "Who Framed Pinkie Pie?" hasn't been written yet. What an idea for a crossover!
There's no doubt it's in middling territory regardless, but its unfortunate chronological placement really would make it look worse. "Would", because like I said, I was happily forewarned and took the liberty of fiddling with the viewing order of this, "Spring Breakdown", and "Sunset's Backstage Pass", and nuts to Rainbow's continuity nods.
Oh yes, that was something else Loganberry discussed too! (And indeed: I'm forming my own take on it, so it's a sort of blessing in disguise for me personally).
Pretty sure Ragamuffin has a pony counterpart. I want to say he shows up as part of Cranky's crew in a Season 10 comic?
EDIT: Yup, he does. Make of that what you will.
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Well, at least in comic form, I suppose his accent can't do too much damage.
And looking at the "Spring Breakdown" screenshot there, I've just realized the guy in the middle at the bottom looks like Sokka. Look at his haircut!
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It's a timberwolftail