Birthday Thoughts · 10:22pm Mar 30th, 2021
So, today is my birthday, an occasion that I have mainly written off for the past few years as nothing more than another day. For what reason had I resorted to such a pessimistic view of my own birthday? Well if you must know it's because of all the usual ideas I had filling my head, ones shared by many depressed friends and family of mine. "Birthdays are only big deals to people who have inflated egos or want to feel good about themselves for doing absolutely nothing." Or, "Everyone has a birthday, it's literally the least special or unique thing you could celebrate." I'd tell myself.
On a surface level, much if that is true. However, this year something else came to me. I've always questioned why I never allow myself to be happy, and I can never find a logical answer to that question. It's always been a part of who I am, so I'd just deal with it, but this birthday was different.
I finally asked myself something I should have asked a decade ago, "What does this birthday mean to me?" And instead of comparing it to others I finally sat down and got to the root of why I should celebrate. I made it another year! Humans are fragile creatures, so much so that falling the wrong way can end one's life in an instant. Why not celebrate making it one more year? In my case, it should definitely be celebrated, since it's been an uphill battle for a very long time now. Every inch gained was certainly not easy.
My birthday may not be special to others, and I can totally understand that, but what past me failed to realize is that your level of enjoyment and celebration on your birthday isn't governed by others. Nothing about how you feel or think is truly controlled by others, and you should never let them make you feel bad or guilty about trying to take the victories as they come.
Past me could have really used some good times, especially on my birthday, but my compulsion to punish myself would always snuff it out. In turn, I'd do it to others as a sick form of projection to run from my own problems. Please, if you learn anything from my ramblings here, let it be this. Birthdays are as special as you allow them to be, just like your own life. If you approach it, ready to let it mean something to you, then there's no shame to be had in enjoying it. Don't ever let someone else tell you that you can't. Not even yourself.
Thank you for taking the time, Non-Existent viewers, truly. You have no idea how much it means to me.
~ Your friendly neighborhood Emo Rainbow
P.S - More chapters are coming soon. Sorry for the long wait times, but so long as my work hours are chaos, so too will my updates unfortunately. Thanks!
~Huggles~
Happy Birthday. ❤
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Thank you very much!
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Anytime, bud.
If you ever wanna talk, I'm always around. Helping others is my mission.
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday!
Emo Rainbow!
Happy birthday to you!
Have an awesome Birthday!
Oi, happy b-day! Congrats on making it in this hellish world for another year. Here's to several more!
5486573
Here Here!
5486540
Thank you very much! Been a while since someone sang happy birthday to me, and even longer since I wanted to hear it. That means a lot!
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Thank you all. It's people like you that make me proud to be a part of this fandom. You don't know how much it means to me to have others respond and wish me a happy birthday. I truly didn't think it would matter so much to me, but it really does. Even if you are strangers, you have still given me hope for tomorrow, and that's more than I can say for any other "Friends" I have right now. Bless you all and thanks again for your kind words!
5486647
Of course. A friend isn't just someone you've known for a while. A friend is someone who cares about you. And ya know something, friend? We care. We'll always care.
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Hey, anytime. I made a blog to let others know to give you a warm happy birthday. 😊
Always ready to bring the smiles. 😌
Happy Birthday! May you have many more.
Happy late birthday