Shit has not remotely changed yet · 2:08am Feb 15th, 2021
Vent ahead, flee if you wish, I will understand completely.
Things just keep getting steadily worse and today is a wonderful example of what life has been like the past two years.
In summary, I woke up after being told nothing is planned for today except the usual stuff the night before, then a bunch of shit I COULD HAVE BEEN TOLD ABOUT pops up anyway and suddenly I'm on call all day and most of the evening. At this point I'm not going to bother asking anymore because nobody is going to bother telling me, so what's the point? And it's not like I can just NOT do this stuff, family members who literally can't do some basic things by themselves need me to help them if they don't want to be in abject misery.
So yeah... the only thing I can do is just do nothing, and plan nothing, because even if every single moment of my time isn't occupied, it's sure as hell about to be, and that will happen so sporadically that I'm basically on call all day, every day. I miss having a set SCHEDULE...oh, yeah, and getting PAID at all. My account is dwindling steadily and mom's on my ass to make an income while simultaneously being part of the reason I can't get a job because no employer wants to hear "I'm only sporadically available and will have to commute back home at a moment's notice and I can't possibly anticipate when this will be ALSO I've been unemployed for over a year and also am overweight with bad knees and POSSIBLY ADHD. So when can I maybe start?"
Hopefully when things warm up and grandpa doesn't need me moving wood every day I'll have some more time to write. I still want to do that paragraph a day thing but the last month and a half has spat all over that plan.
Happy Valentines Day by the way.
