Skeletor, Master of Infrequent Updates! · 12:21am Feb 10th, 2021
Wow, the 50th Blog post. Huh, didn't think I was that active. Anyway, if you're reading this then you're likely a follower, so thanks for that.
So… Remember the last hiatus, the one where I was supposed to prepare a few buffer chapters so that there wouldn’t need to be another hiatus any time soon? Yeaaaaah, that didn’t happen. I’m three weeks into my semester, and I have to say that I’m really busy. Like, three hours of sleep busy.
I’m working on a two minute animation, five model sheets, a dozen weekly short animations in a program I’m just getting used to, at least one short story a week, and then I need to start an animatic for the last year.
To make up for this, I’m posting a few non-canonical short stories here. These were going to be for the 1,000 likes goal, but since I’ll be gone for a while, I might as well post them here. So yeah, I’m sorry and I hope you can enjoy these shorts. Obviously, none of these are even close to canon, so don't worry about spoilers... I think?
Also, ummm, I guess if you have questions about SMoTE you can post them below and I’ll try to answer them.
Super Silly Skeletor Short Stories.
Title: Seeing Double.
As a guard working for the Crystal Castle, it was never uncommon to see a strange bipedal creature with a skull for a head roam the halls. Skeletor, the creature who had slain Sombra and freed the Empire, brought peace of mind and body to the crystal ponies, and eased them into the transition of becoming acquainted with modern times, walked down a hallway stealing glances at portraits of himself that occasionally decorated the walls.
There was nothing abnormal about seeing the strange creature take an early morning stroll through the halls, but what was abnormal was when Cadence and another Skeletor turned the corner at the other end of the hall and saw the first Skeletor admiring his painted reflection.
Cadence and Skeletor could only stare at the other Skeletor in dumbfounded silence before the art enthusiast turned to see Cadence standing next his living reflection.
“… Cadence, step away slowly from h—“ the first Skeletor was interrupted by the second as he shouted in rage.
“Who the hell are you?!"
“I should be asking you that! Cadence, get away from him!”
“Don’t listen to him Cadence, I’m the real Skeletor!”
“You’re a liar and a shitty actor! I’m the real Skeletor!”
“You’re about as real as pixie dust!”
“W-which one is the real Skeletor?” Cadence asked in growing worry as the two continued to argue.
“I am!” They shouted in unison.
“Um… Quickly! Say something only Skeletor would say!” She commanded as she pointed her horn at both Skeletors.
“Uh… Cadence, remember the day after I handed over the crown? I told you that I was from another world and that I wished to keep it a secret from the council, and that I wanted to meet the human I thought was in your kingdom. You lied to me and said that there was someone from Earth living there, and when I found out the truth I was immensely hurt. It was like all my faith and trust was thrown in my face, like you and Shining were mocking me with a false sense of hope.
“I won’t lie, to this day it still hurts, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to ever fully forgive either of you. But I never want to use that pain as a tool to hurt you or make you feel guilty. There were many times that we argued where the thought of pulling that card from my deck felt like a way to win whatever trivial disagreement we had, but I never did it for fear of hurting you. Cadence, no matter what, through thick and thin, lies and truth, you and Shining Armor are my friends,” Skeletor finished.
Cadence felt a grateful smile form on her muzzle at Skeletor’s words, feeling a deep connection with the one she had slighted with a horrible lie. Her warm smile soon turned to a hateful scowl as she turned to judge the other Skeletor.
“Do you have anything to say?” She asked as she prepared a powerful spell to launch at him.
“I’m Skeletor!” The other Skeletor argued.
“Damn, those are both things Skeletor would say,” Cadence reasoned with a bite of vitriol in her voice as the spell died off at the tip of her horn.
“You can’t be fucking serious!” Skeletor complained, causing his duplicate and Cadence to give him an inquisitive look. “I pour my fucking heart out and you take his side?!”
“I’m Skeletor!” The other Skeletor continued to argue.
“Shut the fuck up!” Skeletor ordered.
Suddenly, the sound of approaching foot steps drew all of their collective attention to the end of the hallway as a third Skeletor rounded the corner with a mug of coffee in his hands and a newspaper tucked under his arm.
Once the third Skeletor took note of his two living copies and Cadence, he mechanically turned on his heels and walked away.
“… It’s too early for this shit,” he reasoned as left them in their pregnant silence, which Cadence broke with her latest revelation.
“That’s also something Skeletor would say…”
Titled: One Man’s Horror is Another’s Love.
“ABSOLUTLEY NOT!” Cadence’s voice boomed throughout the castle.
Immediately after her voice reached the ears of the guards and staff enjoying their lunch, Princess Cadence stormed into the dining room with anger burning in her eyes.
“That is a complete abuse of power and you know it!” Lord Skeletor shouted back at her as he walked into the room behind her.
“Like you have any right to talk about abuse after… After that!” Cadence argued back.
“You asked me to. Wait, no, you begged me for it! I’m not the one in the wrong here!”
“I take back every nice thing I ever said about you!”
There was a time where outbursts like these would send waves of panic and fear through the heart of everypony within earshot, when one could have sworn that their lives flashed before their eyes once Skeletor’s voice rose to the heavens. But, after a great deal of time being in the Crystal Castle, the only thing the staff and guards felt was mild interest in their argument.
One of the few ponies who felt a hint of something above mild interest or concern was the one who had stumbled upon their arguments and talks a great number of times, Prince Shining Armor. He internally debated whether to place a shield spell over Skeletor for his protection, or a muffler spell on him for his own safety. Either way, the argument they had was bound to escalate if he allowed them to continue.
“It’s not my fault that you couldn’t handle it!”
“You should have given me a proper warning before you hit me with that!”
“You told me to! You got on your knees and begged for it!”
“You’re sadistic!”
“And you’re too soft!”
As the two bickered back and forth once they joined Shining Armor at their designated table in the dining hall, Shining decided that the most diplomatic approach to this situation was to wait for Skeletor to start talking and then interrupt. His years of marriage and politics had proved to Shining that interrupting anypony or creature that wasn’t his wife was better than cutting off Cadence whenever she chose to argue with someone.
Just as Skeletor was about to either defend himself or go on the attack with his argument, Shining Armor interrupted with a simple question. “What are you two arguing about?”
“He… I cannot even begin to describe how horrible it was!” His wife answered with a disgusted look plastered to her face.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Skeletor argued once more.
“I’m sorry… ‘Wasn’t that bad’?” Cadence parroted as she turned to glare daggers at the deplorable demon sitting at their table. “You are sick in the head if you think that was a romantic story!”
“God damnit, princess, Romeo and Juliet is a romantic story. In fact, it’s the most popular love story in history on my world!” Skeletor defended as his fist quickly met the table. “You asked me to tell you a romantic story from my home, and I told you one.”
“They both died at the end. How in the world is that romantic?! They killed themselves!”
“Out of love!” He defended.
“You can call it a lot of things, but love isn’t one of them,” Cadence shot back.
Once again, Shining Armor made the smart decision of choosing to interrupt Skeletor and not Cadence. “I still don’t know what you’re arguing about…”
“Okay, so Princess Fanfic over here asked me if I could share some popular love stories from my home, so they could be publicized here in the Crystal Empire. I agreed and—“
“And he told me a horror story!” Cadence interrupted.
“Anyways, because she’s being pissy about a fictional, and I have to emphasize that it was a fictional love story, she decided to pass a law stating that I can’t tell stories ever again.”
“And the world will thank me,” Cadence argued.
“Rescind that law, right the fuck now!”
“Over my plucked feathers.”
“That can be arranged!” Skeletor shot back.
“Can we please not do this?” Shining Armor practically begged. He still didn’t understand why they were arguing and he unsurprisingly didn’t really care. “Honey, don’t you think creating a whole law dedicated to stopping him from telling stories is just a bit too far?”
“No, not even a little bit,” she replied instantly.
“Fine, then I want to put forward a law that… Shining, help me out here,” Skeletor pleaded. “What’s something she likes that I can ban?”
“Don’t answer him Shining,” Cadence ordered.
“He’s a free man, he can do whatever he wants. Now, Shining, I demand you help me seek revenge against your wife.”
“I’m not going to help you piss off my wife, Skeletor."
“But she’s abusing her power!” Skeletor lamented. “What do you think Tw…” Skeletor’s words suddenly trailed off as he allowed an idea to appear in his mind, causing a wicked smile to spread across his jaws. “… I’ll tell Twilight that you’re suppressing knowledge from another word.”
“You wouldn’t,” Cadence tested.
“Oh, I can do that and so much more. In fact, I might even tell her of a little story called, ‘Fahrenheit 4-50-1,’ and see how she reacts.”
Shining Armor wasn’t sure how that story was a threat, or what impact it would have on his baby sister, but he still felt a chill of fear run down his spine at each number Skeletor listed. He quickly turned to look at Cadence, silently pleading for his wife to take a diplomatic route to end their argument.
“… Fiiiine. I’ll rescind the law if you tell me a better love story,” Cadence caved.
“Hmmmm… Alright. I can do that. Once upon a time, there was a massive ship that was called ‘The Titanic’,” Skeletor began, as he prepared to watch Cadence’s reactions to one of the most tragic love stories ever told.
It would take a lot of Disney movie plots to regain her trust later on, but to Skeletor, it was completely worth it to see her reaction at the end of the story.
Against Princess Cadence’s better judgment, a revised version of Romeo and Juliet was released later on, and a complete retelling of the Titanic was published. To her chagrin, both stories became very popular, earning play and movie adaptations within a few years of their release.
Title: A Female Dog Named Idioms.
The ancient language of the deities was something that existed beyond the mortal comprehension of ponies that were bound to the earth beneath their hooves.
It was something that could never be described in a normal tongue, and would go unheard by the ears of regular ponies who remained ignorant of the lulled whispers of the impossible language.
However, at the moment, Emerald Secret felt as if she would have an easier time understanding the serenade of a deity than whatever strange nonsense would pass through her lord’s non-existent lips.
“Could you repeat that again, my lord?” She asked as she trotted along side her recently awoken lord to the dinning hall.
“Um… Another day another dollar?” Lord Skeletor repeated, phrasing his words as a question instead of the bold statement he made earlier. “Sorry, I forget you don’t have dollars here. I just had a little bit of brain fog and it slipped my mind,” he explained… Or had a stroke. Emerald wasn’t sure which was more accurate. “So, what’s on the schedule today, Emerald?”
“After breakfast, you have a meeting with Purity Flame, my lord.”
“Oh Jesus Fucking Christ,” Skeletor muttered. Once again, Emerald was confused by his colorful choice of words. She wasn’t sure who Jesus was, or why they were fornicating with Christ, but apparently their matrimony was a curse for her skull headed lord. “I really don’t like meeting her. She always rubs me the wrong way whenever she talks about about how much better crystal ponies are.”
“If she’s touching you, my lord, then I believe you have the ability to order her to refrain from doing so,” Emerald Secret advised.
“ N-no, no, not literally. It should be fine, could you jog my memory?”
“… Do what, my lord?”
“Ugh. Remind me what today’s meeting should entail,” Lord Skeletor explained.
“Ah, apologies, my lord. It’s regarding your order to produce more soap.”
“Ah, yes. Hopefully, we can get everyone spic and span in the Empire and stop and microorganisms from spreading into open wounds. I suppose every grey cloud has a silver lining, doesn’t it?” Skeleton asked.
Emerald only understood the last sentence he spoke, and even than she felt confused by his words. She was fairly certain that there wasn’t any silver in the clouds, but Lord Skeletor clearly seemed to think otherwise. Emerald chose not to correct him considering that, even if there was silver in the clouds, it was too far away for all of the earth bound ponies to get to.
“So, aside from my meeting with her, is there anything else I should be aware of?”
“Well, the other council members and I thought it would be nice to schedule time for you to meet with a tailor later today. Since you wear clothing so much, we assumed that you would like a larger wardrobe,” Emerald answered.
“Hmmm… I’d like that, but the Empire is still low on necessities like blankets and bandages, so I’ll put that off for now. I’ll admit, I’m uncomfortable with not being able to at least wear shorts, but it’s no skin off my nose. While clothes makes the men where I come from, here you’re all just nudists. So, as long as I keep my family jewels hidden, I think I’ll be right as rain.”
“Um… Yes?” Emerald questioningly agreed as half of his words were forgotten in almost an instant. “Also, Copper Plate wanted to know if you needed any more books.”
“Ah, well if you get the chance, you can tell her that I’m fine for now. The history book she gave me is a real page turner. My eyes were glued to the pages for a great deal of time.”
“… I’ll be sure to tell her you enjoyed it then,” Emerald replied as she wondered why Skeletor pointed out that he could turn the pages. A book without pages to turn wouldn’t be a real one after all. She wasn’t sure what he meant about his non-existent eyes being stuck to the paper, but it was probably fine since he had a cheerful tone in his voice. “Finally, we have a scheduled meeting with the medical ward to discuss the supply and demand that we need to fill for them.”
“Perfect! We can kill two birds with one stone by having our meeting with Purity pushed to then, and we can attack both the problems with health and supplies. With any luck, maybe we can turn thee medical field on its head and implement a new system of cleaning tools that can promise better results. As for medicine production, we’ll need the alchemists to put in a good deal of effort, and since medicine doesn’t grow on trees, we’ll have to use what we have sparingly. Our priority should be to help ponies who are in critical states first, and then we can set our sights on helping more ponies afterwards. Does that sound good to you, Emerald?” Lord Skeletor asked as he looked down at his confused advisor. “Hey, Emerald, Is everything alright?”
“… Yes?”
“Wonderful! Come on, Emerald, I’ve got a date with destiny!” Lord Skeletor shouted in glee as his pace increased, leaving a very confused Emerald Secret behind as her trot slowed down.
“… … Isn’t Destiny the butler? And isn’t he already married?” Emerald Secret idly mumbled to herself before she quickly tried to catch up to her dark lord, hesitant to deliver the unfortunate news about Destiny’s current engagment.
Bwahaha! Gold!
Oof, but then, lol.
These were comedy gold~ Take as much time and you need to and grab as much sleep as you can, that workload sounds rough.
It's like everything you've written is pure comedy GOLD! "The Titanic"?? OOF ALL THAT HEARTBREAK! "Kill two birds with one stone" omg that's a hard one to explain but if he lets "I'm so hungry I can eat a HORSE" slip I can already hear the screams and see the look of realization just SLAP Skeletor in the face! The doubles??? The fucking doubles got damn it's a shame they aren't canon and probably won't be expanded on but that's alright. As much as I love all of this I know it won't be canon. (unless... 👀)
Right now I'm just thinking about how Cadance and the rest would react to Lilo and Stitch "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten" and the movie Hercules when the dude straight up becomes MORTAL to save the girl he loved. Then there's Frozen with a nice twist of "the villain is actually not the villain and the first love interest is gonna murder Elsa and Anna in COLD BLOOD" which is definitely gonna get some tears out of these emotional ponies (let's be real they're gonna cry at anything) or even the movie Monsters Inc with all its humor and touching moments with the, not at all dangerous human child! And of course "I will kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die!" (Now I'm rambling let me get to my point-) ANYWAYS, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO, I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOURSELF FIRST THO BECAUSE YOU MATTER AND DESERVE HAPPINESS AND A GOOD SLEEP SCHEDULE! GOD BLESS YOU AND HAVE A GOOD DAY!
As has been stated, please get your rest as without your health, you have nothing. Also, you sanity is kind of sort of important as well. I am told rest helps with that but I found exercise and or sports to be helpful as well. See you when your ready.
I am so glad you linked to this blog in your latest chapter, it's all gold!
I'm taking that.
Skelly: you wouldn't know horror if it bit you in the behind
Candy: do too! Like the one with the princess that got murdered!
Skelly: pfft, let me guess, the butler did it?
Candy: ye-NO! And if you're so good at horror why don't you try your hand at something that isn't butchering a good romance story?
Skelly: nyehehe, it's on! How about a favorite of mine, it all happened a long time ago in a quiet little town, on a normal little street called elmstreet
...
Luna: cadence, stop hiding under the bed, as the foremost expert on dreams and nightmares I can assure you that there is no Freddy Creuger
Candy: y-you promise?
Luna: yes, it was justa storybaced on a talented Dreamweaver some 1500 years ago named Fredrick Cruiser, he had far too much fun causing our enemies restless nights with nightmares, plus he lived on oakstreet not elmstreet. Your friend needs to do his research
Candy: I think I'll stay here for a while longer