To the Most Wonderful Time of the Year · 2:07am Dec 26th, 2020
Sorry this is so late. I should have posted it this morning, but procrastination still has a hold on me. I wish I could provide you with a proper Christmas story, but I do have something to offer. Here is a rough excerpt from a potential The Owl House seasonal fic I have in mind:
“Bye Eda, I’m off to school,” Luz Noceda called out to her mentor, who just grumbled into her apple blood. After losing the portal to the human realm had ended her business of selling human junk to the denizens of the Boiling Isles, Eda and her sister Lilith had been forced to work many odd jobs in order to make ends meet. It didn’t leave them with much time to sleep, so they were both drowsy and distracted most of the time.
Arriving at Hexside, Luz saw her friend Gus Porter at the steps. “Hi Gus.”
“Hi Luz,” he said. “You stink, you dumb human!”
“What?!” Luz cried in shock.
“I’m sorry, it’s that time of the year again!” Gus wailed with tears in his eyes. He ran up the steps and into Hexside.
Dumbfounded, Luz shook her head and ran after him, determined to get answers.
When she opened the door, she was greeted by a water balloon to the face. Or rather, what could be assumed to be the Isles’ equivalent of a water balloon. She just hoped that the bluish-pink slime dripping from her face wasn’t too dangerous.
Wiping some gunk from her eyes, she saw that the perpetrator was Skara, who was pulling more balloons from a bucket full of them and throwing them at various students.“Take that Eileen!” she cried, nailing the other girl in her eye-slash-head. “Sorry, you know how it is! Eat lindworm snot Jerbo! Sorry about your new backpack, I love it!”
Luz’s mind spun. Skara usually didn’t do anything bad unless Boscha pressured her, but the other girl was nowhere in sight.
“Skara!” the girl’s boyfriend (Luz realized that she had no idea what his name was) called out from down the hall. At his side was a demon girl Luz didn’t recognize. “I’m dumping you for Kaizee!” he declared in a broken voice.
“I understand, do what you have to!” cried Amara even as tears streamed down her face. Falling to her knees, she began to bawl loudly.
Before Luz could recover enough to try and comfort her, Principal Bump passed by. “Good morning Miss Noceda. You have after school detention for the week.”
“Why?!” Luz demanded. “I haven’t done anything wrong! At least, I don’t think I did? I’ll be honest, I don’t really know unless somebody tells me.”
“You did not, but this makes it seem like you did. You’re welcome.”
With that, Bump walked away, leaving Luz dumbfounded.
As she made her way to her first class, Luz realized that the madness had gripped the entire school. Everywhere she looked, students where dumping buckets of various liquids on each other, starting magic duels, calling each other names, or committing other acts of delinquency. The last straw was when she saw Willow of all people give five people wedgies at the same time with a giant plant. Before she could intervene however, a magic force pulled her around a corner and brought her face to face with Amity Blight.
“Luz, thank goodness I found you.” She handed Luz a big, gnarled stick. “Hit me with this branch I took from an ancient cursed tree. It’ll cover my entire body with scabs and ooze piss for a week.”
Luz dropped the evil stick like a hot potato. “Why would you ask me to do that to you?!”
“I knew you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to do anything naughty or n your own, so I want to help you out. Don’t worry about me, I sabotaged a bunch of students’ homework, so I’m good for a few days.”
“What is going on here?” demanded Luz. “Why is everyone acting so crazy?”
Amity stared at her for a moment before slapping her forehead. “I’m so sorry, I forgot that you’renot from around here. It’s the first of the twenty-four days until Ckrampmas, when Old Capra Nix rides through the Isles.”
“Ohmygosh, you guys have a weird version of Christmas?” asked Luz in excitement. Before she could start making plans for caroling, cookies and presents, she remembered where she was and how things usually worked, and her mood deflated. “Let me guess, he only brings presents to all of the bad children.”
Amity scratched her head. “Well, it’s more like he abducts any children who he thinks are nice and takes them to his lair over the Boiling Seas to spends the rest of their lives as his slaves, making him eggnog and pulling fire ticks out of his fur.”
"Joder las Isles,” muttered Luz.
Let me know what you think. And Merry Christmas to you all, and to all a good night!
Merry Christmas and a happy and safe New Year.