Pinkie and the Anaconda

Lately I have been reading some stories by a Brony named Bluecatcinema. His has some very interesting OCs, my favorites being the Napoleon brothers who are members of the Bitalian Mafia. One of brothers, known as Salt Napoleon, was based on the actor Jason Stratham.

Being an (almost) complete igmo when it comes to action movie actors, I had to look him up and watch some his fight scenes on You Tube. In one scene, the bad guy grabs Stratham by his jacket. Stratham yanks the jacket off and uses it as a weapon. Next, they grab his shirt. Again, he pulls it off and uses it as a weapon. Now he is fighting bare-chested and all I could think was "I wonder if his pants are next."

Two days ago, my daughter Pinkie Wannabe and I were driving home and I told her about the clip I had watched.

"So, the bad guy grabs his jacket but he rips it off and uses it as a weapon. They pull at his shirt, he takes it off and uses it as a weapon. And I'm thinking 'I'll bet the pants come off next.'"

"Wow," Pinkie smirked. "Then next you'd see his anaconda."

Well, what she said hit me like a pie in the face. Anaconda? What does my 13 year old daughter who plays with ponies know about anacondas? Cause she sure ain't talking about the kind you see on Wild Kingdom.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked, already guessing the answer.

"On line," she said. "Some people call penises anacondas"

Okay. "You haven't seen any pictures of...anacondas on line, have you?"

"No. That's just what they call them."

"Okay." Then I started singing a line from Baby Got Back "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun."

We kept this little banter up for a while until we eventually moved on to something else. Still, it stuck with me that my little girl and I had just had a "mature" moment.

And for the record, Stratham kept his pants on in the scene. There was no anaconda.